To Lyra, the first day back at Hogwarts was always exhausting. New first years, sorting hat, and everyone getting excited after not seeing their friends for a whole three months. It was exhausting having people screaming near her, all of the polite, "Hi Lyra how have you been, how was your summer?" When that person and she know they were just trying to be polite. She had one friend here at Hogwarts with her, and only got to see her briefly in the Great Hall, both of their responsible prefects calling their houses too, "Come follow me to the common room, so that we can get unpacked."

Aisling Caoilainn was gorgeous. She was tall, with white-golden hair. Her blue eyes could stop anyone in their tracks, and a glare from her could probably fry someone on their spot. She was a soft spoken Ravenclaw, quiet and shy. With pale skin and rosy cheeks. Her upturned nose made everyone believe she was snotty, and her pink cupid bow lips complete with thin eyebrows made her near irresistible. Almost all the boys wanted her, including some girls. But she was shy, and disliked attention being on her. If she didn't approach you, you didn't approach her. She could be terribly nasty when she put her mind too it. She has approximately four friends, Lyra being one of them.

She and Aisling weren't the closest of friends, they didn't even know each others favorite food. Mostly just met up in the library to have a chat every now and then. The two of them were both loners, and loners get along. They didn't need to be together all the time to be content with their friendship, it was what it was. they were there for each other when need be.

The bellow of a fifth year muggleborn named Aiden Calder drew Lyra out of her internal monologue and she sighed. The boys continued being obnoxiously loud behind her as she settled back into the Gryffindor common room sofa, the warm radiating from the fireplace temporarily relieving her of her headache.

Sirius had run up to the boys dorm after dinner in the great hall, he had wanted to keep her company but she had declined, and after five minutes of her begging him to leave her be, he finally relented, climbing the stairs with Remus, James, and Peter trailing after him. She pretended not to notice Remus' lingering glance when she had shifted on the couch to get more comfortable.

Lyra's body was aching tonight, her bones feeling like sandpaper rubbing up against each other, muscles wound up tight, still not yet healed from the previous inflicted wounds.

Grimacing, she reached for her journal which was resting at the other end of the sofa. Opening it to a new page she began to write-

Sept, 1/1973

The pain in my legs is getting worse, my arms are sort of numb now. The cuts on my thighs and stomach healed around yesterday, they took longer to heal this time. And it's getting a lot harder to control, a lot more wild as the years go by. I have a long, thick cut doing down my spine that's still in the middle of healing. It had a thin layer of new skin over it,

First day of fifth year and I already have a permanent migraine. Sirius is bugging me about not being social like always, and I think he has a crush on Aisling. Though he would never admit it, he spoke about her the whole summer.

It's curious. All the other guys in the school stare at Aisling whenever she's near, but they never actually talk about her when she's not around. Sirius didn't see her the whole summer, yet he was talking about her the whole time. He never asked directly, though. He only hinted at her, kind of nudged the conversation in that direction until we were suddenly talking about what she was doing, if she was visiting her mother in France like everyone said. 'Heard from that one friend of yours?' He'd usually ask. He'd always try to make it seem like he was teasing me. Oh, but I know he wasn't.

It feels like this year is going to be different, though I'm not sure why. Mother reminded me the whole summer what I have to do when my sixteenth birthday arrives. It's less then a year away. I've known since I was four what I have to do, and I should have excepted it by now, right? In all honesty I'm terrified. I wanna scream and rant to my mother how 'life isn't fair' and yell at her that this is all her fault in the first place, so why do I get the worst end of it? But I'm not like that. I don't blame my mother like Sirius does. She may be bitter, but I understand that whatever she does for Sirius, Regulus and I is for the best. She can't be punished for a little mistake she made. I've made a million.

I really wish I had someone to talk to this about, other than Sirius. I've come to realize writing your thoughts down does not help get them off your mind. Because now I have a documentation of every bad thought and thing I've ever done in this damn book. Maybe I could talk to Aisling. Actually- scratch that, I know for a fact that's never going to happen, And I'm perfectly okay with that to be honest. I don't like dropping my issues on someone else' shoulders.

Yawning, Lyra snapped her journal closed. Classes were tomorrow, and she had History Of Magic at 9:00 AM. Definitely one of the worst ways to start a Monday.

Rising, she grimaced at the shock of pain that ran through her joins, before turning and marching up the stairs to the girls dormitory.


The giggles of the other fifth year girls awoke Lyra in the morning.

When she had opened her eyes, Lacey Meridan was looking over at her distastefully while she sat up in her bed, "Breakfast's starting in ten minutes. Might wanna get up."

"Thanks."

Lacey has had a huge crush on Sirius since first year. Even though he continuously turns her down time after time, she never gives up.

Getting ready as quickly she could, Lyra made her way to the Great Hall with only her book bag to keep her company on the walk there. Sirius, Remus, and James were all sat at the Gryffindor table. James and Sirius lent close together, most likely plotting another prank. Remus was sat back and laughing every once and awhile at something James and Sirius said, putting his input once in-awhile.

Lyra hadn't realized she was staring until Remus and her eyes' met, his dancing with laughter. He smiled a bit at her and tipped his head in her direction. His eyes asked Lyra a silent question, inviting her to come over and sit with them. Giving her head a slight shake, she made her way towards the vacant end of the table.


Add 2 Mistletoe Berries to your cauldron

Adding the 2 Mistletoe Berries to her and Aisling's cauldron Lyra studied the potion color for a minute, making sure it was the proper color. to Lyra, it seemed a tad bit too dark.

"I really hate this class," an Irish accent cut into her debate.

"Well if you don't let me concentrate on this potion, we'll fail this class," Lyra muttered her reply, as she angled more towards Aisling.

"Don't forget to stir it," Aisling scolded, causing Lyra too scoff before turning back to the potion.

"Clockwise?"

"Anti."

Nodding she stirred the potion anti-clockwise, making it turn a teal-color. That seemed more right, now.

"Wave your wand and we're done," Lyra said, switching positions with Aisling.

Aisling waved her wand and grinned, making all the boys turn and stare at her. "Done!" She giggled.

She turned to me after turning the temperature down, "You really are bollocks at potions, you know that?"

Lyra huffed, slouching in her seat. "Well I just did that potion perfectly fine."

"It's an antidote for common poisons. I'd hope you can do that perfectly fine."

Rolling her eyes Lyra stared up at her, "Need I remind you you're absolutely rubbish at Transfiguration?" Noticing my voice had drawn other student attention, I lowered it, "You can't even turn a bird into a cup."

Aisling stuck her tongue out at Lyra, "No need to be childish, Lyra."

"Says the one sticking out her tongue at me in a very mature way."

Aisling scooted back in her chair, slouching slightly, with a gloomy look on her face. Still managing to look effortlessly graceful while doing it. "I hate this class. I want to be a potions master and all, but sometimes this class really messes with me skin. Do you think I could be allergic to some of the ingredients? I was gonna ask ma mere to buy me some professional gloves but she said it'll pass eventually-"

"Ms. Caoilainn, are you and Ms. Black done with your potion? Perfect again, I presume?" Horance Slughorn eagerly asked as he bounded over towards the two girls desk.

Aisling straightened in her chair at the sound of the professor's voice, and brightened considerably, almost making the classroom glow with her smile. "Yes, Professor Slughorn."

Reclining in her seat, Lyra watched as Aisling rattled off about the potion and how it works. Aisling was a teachers pet, but she didn't mean to be. She just liked to make people happy. And sometimes other people didn't really understand that.

Her and Aisling were alike in so many ways, she was surprised they didn't hate each other.


Authors Note: Lyra is not self harming. There are no trigger warnings to be put in this story.

~Ary-Gryphyn