Ana's Pov
Silence fell between Christian and I. I didn't know if he had heard what I had to said to Ray. The silence was making me antsy. The tension was there. His face was totally guarded and unreadable, and that hurt me regardless if he had heard us or not.
"What's happening to us Ana?" he asked his voice cracking. And it took everything I had not to sigh externally. He hadn't heard me and Ray and for that I was thankful. I was going to tell him though, I couldn't go on this way. The stress of it all was making me sick.
"Christian," I sighed, I went to fidget with my hands, but then I saw the IV and thought it be best not too. "I just want to put this whole situation behind me. I want to move on and forget it happened, but I can't do that if you look at me like I'm some delicate little flower. If you can't move on then I think that it won't look good for us as a couple in the future." I felt a weight lift off of me in that moment, I told him what I needed to tell him. Yet the knot in my stomach lingered as I waited on his response. His face still guarded, but his body language told me he was filled with rage. He ran his finger thru his hair, and stood and exuded that powerful dominance that make me uncomfortable.
"For god's sake Anastasia! You nearly died yesterday! I almost lost you! I'm entitled to have that fear." My blood began to boil. If I wasn't on strict bed rest and in pain I could have walked out but since I couldn't I unleashed all the raw and angry feelings I held inside on him.
"You're entitled?! I was shot in my own goddamn home! I near died twice ! You weren't the one alone in the ambulance not knowing what had happened. Or on the cold and scary operating table twice! You won't have to live your entire life with not on the emotional bu the physical scar." Just then I moved the blanket to show him the scar across my side. It hurt like hell but it got my point across. "I'm the one who is entitled. Not you, you can't be the master of everyone's universe." Just then the pain from the scar radiated thru me, as well as the emotional pain of it all. I got shot in my own home and there was nothing I could do. Christian the one person who I depended on the most, was so lost in his own ocean of emotions that I had no one to truly turn to. I felt alone. At first a few tears escaped, but it quickly escalated to full blown sobs. Before I knew it, Christian sat in the bed and held me. I fought it, I didn't no couldn't have him near me. But he didn't take no for an answer. Just then I felt his touch and his smell, I couldn't fight him any longer. So I buried my head in his chest and cried and cried for god knows how long. I was aware that a nurse had come in and Christian must have shot her one hell of a look cause she quickly hurried out. Looking up at him his face was no longer guarded, and I saw the emotion he had tried to hide when he walked into the room. It was fear, and not just common fear, pure fear. It occurred to me then that maybe just maybe we had both been ignorantly selfish. This entire situation was so emotionally charged and heavy that Christian and I couldn't see past our own issues to help one another. I wondered if this would break us. I couldn't imagine my life without him, I tried and it killed me. But what good are we to each other if we are in two different places? I was ready to just put this behind me and Christian, I feared was going to be hung up on this for longer than I was prepared to deal with.
"I think once I get discharged, we should both go see Flynn." I said not looking up at him, but I felt his eyes on me.
"I think so too." he said still fiddling with my hair.
"Not just together, separately too. I want to move on from this and I feel like you don't. We are both drowning in our own emotions that we aren't seeing anything clearly." I said this time looking him in the eyes to prove how certain of this I truly was.
"I agree" Just then a smirk crossed his face, that caught me off guard.
"What's that for?" I asked tilting my head slightly and hinting a grin on my face as well.
"You're already back to setting your own rules. Your recovery must be coming swiftly." That got a big smile on both of our faces. In that moment I realized that maybe we still had a shot, that we could thru this. That there was hope for us after all.
