Summary: Black Friday shopping, Thanksgiving, other random moments set in a modern AU with no time traveling or Victorian related settings. Fluffy fluffing fluff.

I go back and forth in the timeline.


"OUT OF THE WAY, HUMAN SCUM!"

Strax crashed his way through a bunch of shoppers to get to the limited edition figurines. His collection will be complete and than he'll go get the massive TV. The box was taller than him by several feet but it would be entirely worth it to see all the violent bloody action of glorious war movies in high definition.

Jenny meanwhile wasn't bulldozing through but still determinedly made her way to the laptop section. She needed a new one after the last one went to computer hell. Vastra followed helplessly pushing the cart. The Silurian hissed in irritation as she abruptly stopped when several crazed eye customers ran in front of her to get to the next aisle. She thanked the Goddess that she was able to buy everything she needed online.

"Jenny, are you sure you can't pick it up online?"

The human waved her hand and answered distractedly, "In store promotion only."

"Are we almost done?"

"Yeah, just a few more items, ah there it is!"

Vastra sighed in resignation. This was going to be a long day.

12 hours and 14 stores later, the gang staggered out of their car and into the house with their purchases. Strax immediately went to his room to set up the massive TV and to add his new figurines.

Vastra and Jenny collapsed on the couch, bags all around them. "Never again, Jenny."

"Sure." Jenny snuggled against Vastra.

"I'm serious, that was worst than the time we almost got eaten by a pack of raptors."

Jenny tuned out Vastra's ranting and promptly fell asleep. Vastra eventually noticed her human had passed out and shook her head. She reached behind, grabbed the blanket draped over the top of the couch, and wrapped it around both of them. Before she too succumbed to sleep, Vastra let out a resigned sigh. Despite her protests, she'll follow Jenny anywhere, even if it's next year's Black Friday.


Vastra brushed nonexistent lint off her police uniform. After all her Sisters were killed in that horrible mission, she thought she'd never rise above it. But than she met the Doctor who helped her out of the abyss. She regained her honor.

The Silurian looked out at the crowd before them and finally spotted the Doctor applauding. She puffed her chest slightly, filled with pride.

Years later when Vastra stood in the audience and watched her girlfriend graduate from the police academy, she was among the loudest to cheer.


Vastra cracked her knuckles as she glared at the thawed corpse on the cooking pan. She shooed away Jenny from the dead bird and pushed her toward the stuffing and corn instead. Strax was to smash the potato until it was pulverized.

Vastra ducked as a potato bit flew passed her head. She scoff at using a knife and instead cracked the turkey's rib cage with her bare hands.

"I think you're suppose to use a knife instead."

Vastra hissed at Jenny and threw a bone at her. "I've torn plenty of animals apart without a knife. I know what I'm doing."

The human caught the bone and tossed it into the garbage bag. "Fine, but if I chip a tooth on a piece of bone, I'm going to kill you."

Strax ignored the disgustingly inefficient work his betters were doing. The potatoes must suffer glorious death of being pulverized into tiny bits before being smothered by hot gravy!

Six hours later, the Paternoster gang had successfully destroyed their kitchen again and made a somewhat edible meal.

Vastra dug into the meat with abandon. Jenny inspected her piece of seemingly undercooked turkey and decided to eat corn instead. Strax dug into the potato and gravy while also using the gravy to outline his plan to destroy the moon.

"And with the extra boost from the rocket, the moon will be no more!"

Vastra paused in her meal to look at the drippy mess on the table. "You won't have enough fuel with that setup to escape this planet's gravitational pull let alone hit the moon."

Strax opened his mouth in indignation before frowning at the plan. "I'll need to revise my plan. But it will be a glorious explosion!"

Jenny rolled her eyes at the mess. "You'll be cleaning the table up first,"

"But - "

"Or we're locking up the grenades."

"Fine." Strax muttered mutinously and settled down.

Vastra grinned at Jenny and tore another piece of meat of the quickly disappearing turkey.

After everything was somewhat cleaned up, Vastra and Jenny lazed on the couch and Strax disappeared into his room to work on a moon missile.

Vastra tossed her book aside, and dropped down until her head laid in Jenny's lap.

The human amusingly looked down. "Comfy?"

"Yes, don't move."

Jenny shook her head and scratched a particular spot on Vastra's headcrest which made the Silurian release a content rumble.

"Big ole scaly cat."

Vastra just snuggled closer.


Jenny ran down the hospital corridor, panicked beyond measure. She slammed her hand down on the nurse reception desk, "An officer was brought in earlier? Vastra, Silurian."

"Only family - "

"I'm her wife, look!" Jenny grabbed her wallet and opened it to her ID and a picture of her and Vastra. "Jenny Flint!"

The nurse quickly confirmed the information while Jenny barely restrained herself from going through random rooms until she found her wife.

"Room 328 but - "

Jenny didn't wait and rushed back to the elevator and punched the button for third floor. She sent prayers to whoever will listen.

Once the human arrived at the right floor, she quickly found the room and opened the door. The doctor ducked as the Silurian threw a cup at him with her good arm, used to treating grumpy Silurians. "I still cannot release you for at least a few more days."

When the door opened, they both looked at Jenny. Vastra's expression morphed from one of anger to intrigued. "Why hello there gorgeous."

The Doctor looked discretely at his pager where the nurse from the reception sent a message of a panicked spouse. "Ah, Jenny Flint I assume? I'm Doctor John Smith."

Jenny showed her ID again, her heart finally settling after seeing Vastra awake, high as a kite, but awake.

"Yes. How is she?"

The human quickly sat down next to Vastra who grinned up at her. The Silurian shifted and winced. "Okay, movement bad. But you brighten the room tremendously, beautiful. Are you single?"

The Doctor continued on, ignoring Vastra's antics. "We had to pump a high dose of painkillers into her. She'll be a bit loopy before falling asleep. The drugs have a side effect of causing temporary memory lost but it'll go away once we wean her off it."

Jenny nodded even as Vastra looked like she wanted to eat her. "What are her injuries?"

The Doctor looked at his notes. "Broken left arm and wrist, twisted right ankle, and three broken ribs, and a punctured lung though thankfully the venom sac wasn't damaged."

The Silurian poked Jenny with her good hand. "If you are single, can I have your number? Whatever my Sisters has told you is a lie."

"Hush. What do recommend?"

"Lots of bed rest and she'll need looking after."

After getting another reassurance that Vastra would be fine, Jenny felt like she could finally breathe after the Doctor left.

She gripped Vastra's good hand loosely. "You stupid lizard. Don't you dare do that again or I'll kill you myself. You hear? Never again."

The Silurian gave Jenny a lopsided grin. "Anything for you. So, can I have your name at least?"

Jenny tightened her grip slightly. "Jenny Flint."


Vastra tilted her head at the large Christmas tree in the center of downtown.

"Don't even think about it. It's not climbable."

"I was thinking no such thing."

"Sure you weren't. Come on."

The two paid for rental skates and sat on a bench to put them on. Vastra kept glancing nervously at the skating rink. "Silurians weren't made for ice."

"Neither were humans you know."

Vastra double checked her heat retaining clothes were fully operational. "Yes, but you don't need to worry about the cold. While my people stay indoors during this weather, I'm freezing my scales off."

"You'll be fine. Now move it, you big baby."

Jenny dragged Vastra onto the ice and tried not to laugh as her normally composed and graceful girlfriend cling to the side of the rink. She skated around and showed off to the Silurian who stuck her tongue at her. Finally, Vastra let go of the wall and tried to skate a few steps before she promptly fell on the ice. Cursing in Silurian, Vastra got up and continued, determined to make at least one full lap around the rink.

Jenny skated backwards while watched Vastra's snail pace around the rink. She would offer help, but the Silurian had enough pride to drown a city and so amused herself until Vastra released a triumphant hiss.

Back home, while Jenny was cooking, Vastra pressed herself against and wrapped her arms around her human.

"You know I can't cook like this."

"Oh hush. You dragged me outside and now I'm stealing your warmth. Fair trade I think."

Jenny sighed but leaned back, content to be held until a timer rang.


Vastra released a frustrated sigh as she plopped down in front of her friend.

"What's wrong, ole scaly friend of mine?"

"This human holiday of hearts that do not look like hearts and poisonous sugary foods."

When Vastra didn't say anything further, the man nudged her. "And?"

Vastra hissed something in Silurian which made the man laugh. "I don't think that's physically possible."

The lizard look at her old friend who called himself the Doctor though she could never get a straight answer of what specialty. "You're familiar with these mammalian holidays. What is the proper protocol? Flowers, card, and chocolate? Do they only show their affection on one day of the year? What about the rest of the year? Why do the hearts not look like hearts?"

"Woah woah, slow down, take a breath." The Doctor waited until his friend took a deep breath. "Now, let's think of a plan to knock your lady love off her feet, metaphorically I mean since she probably wouldn't like that literally. Under no circumstances should you bring out blood wine."

In the end, Vastra had something resembling a plan and her nerves somewhat calmed. The holiday was still two weeks away so she had time to prepare. Her Sisters would have teased her mercilessly, and probably interrogate her poor human. Operation "Woo Jenny and may the Goddess have mercy" was a go.


Jenny looked through the album, smiling at the memories preserved in picture form. Her smile grew wider when a certain lizard, finally awake, kissed her on the cheek and peered over her shoulder. "You finished it."

"About a half hour ago. I'll never understand how you Silurians sleep so long."

"It's not that late."

"It's 1:00 PM."

"Which is a marked improvement since I usually wake up at 1:30."

Jenny rolled her eyes as Vastra laughed and sat down next to her wife. The Silurian pointed to the album. "Start from the beginning?"

"Sure, though no destroying those pictures of you at -"

"But-"

"No."

"Fine."