Prompt: "Marvel AU" - Irissteth

Or "grumpy neighborhood human eating Superhero and a reporter" cliche


Jenny ran through the alleyways as the gang of six chased after her. Suddenly, she ended up in a dead end.

"Look what we have here, trapped like a rat!"

Jenny turned and put her fists up.

"Think we're going to have some fun boys!"

Jenny fought hard but she couldn't take them all down. A hard punch to the face sent her down to the ground. One of the men lifted his foot to kick her.

A hooded figure appeared behind them, blocking the exit. It flicked it's tongue out and poisoned one. Before they could retaliate, the figure ran and sliced a throat with a knife. It turned and punched one in the face making him fall to the ground. It hissed at the three remaining and dispatched them easily. Once satisfied, the figure turned to Jenny who had backed up against the wall.

It looked at her for a long second before nodding and ran out of the alleyway. Sirens rang in the distance.


Jenny started searching for the hooded person that saved her. New stories started trickling in about the new vigilante. Unlike Spiderman, it didn't hesitate to kill. People were becoming nervous. Some applauded it's actions while others were appalled. Either way, no one knew anything of it.

Jenny was determined to find it. In her spare time, she tracked every location and possible sighting of the vigilante. She had a feeling she was close.


"You've been searching for me for a while. Why?"

The figure tilted it's head at Jenny who jumped. She had been walking toward her car when the vigilante approached her.

"I just wanted to know more about you and to thank you back there."

"You're welcome. As for more information. Why not." The figure shrugged.

"What's your name?"

The figure tilted it's head to one direction. "I'm hiding my identity and yet you ask for my name?" It sounded amused.

"Well, are you affiliated with anyone? Spiderman, the Avengers, or the X-Men?"

The figure shook it's head. "No. I do not work well with mammals."

"Mammals?"

The figure paused before flicking its six foot forked tongue out. "Yes, mammals."


The meetings were sporadic at best, but Jenny grew to enjoy them. The vigilante always appeared near her car and they would exchange a few more questions and the hooded person would disappear again.

One night, Jenny was awoke to a loud thump noise in her apartment. She grabbed her baseball bat and cautiously walked to the living room. Sprawled on the floor was the vigilante, clutching it's side.

"I apologize for crashing in like this, but I require medical aid. Do you have any bandages and alcohol?" The hooded figure spit out, already pulling off her sweatshirt and shirt to reveal green scales. There was a jagged cut on her side.

Jenny sputtered for a second before retrieving the materials and handed them over. She tried hard to avert her gaze but eventually gave up. There was a lizard woman sitting on her living room floor. She watched quietly before asking, "So since you're bleeding all over my living room floor and I saw your face, can I have a name now?"

The vigilante laughed as she cleaned and bandaged her side. "I suppose you deserve that much at least. I am Vastra and I am in need of a place to hide."


Vastra began dropping in every now and then after dealing with the people who attacked her in her hideout. They had longer conversations though Jenny complained Vastra needed a bell on her since the vigilante loved sneaking up on her.

"No, I'm not a mammalian mutant nor was I radiated with any substance."

"But how..?"

Vastra shrugged as she ate a piece of beef jerky. "I'm a Silurian."

"So, alien?"

"More like my species has been on Earth since the dinosaurs."

Jenny groaned. "I can't believe all those conspiracy theories about lizard people ruling the world were right."

"Don't worry, we only control Canada."

"Really?"

Vastra just smiled.


Jenny glanced at the lizard woman as she lounged on her sofa. "Ah, the scaly cat has returned."

"I fail to see how I'm anything like that mammal."

"Comes and goes at odd hours, sleeps a lot, and keeps eating all my food."

"I do not."

"Say that to my jerky supply. And my steak."

"Now that was a delicious piece of meat."

Jenny threw a pillow at the woman who caught it with her tongue.

"Ok, that is still freaky."

Vastra flung the pillow back at Jenny with her tongue making the human yelp.


"I don't see why you humans like coffee so much. It smells disgusting."

Jenny shrugged as she took another sip. "I like the taste and the caffeine. Try some?"

Vastra narrowed her eyes at the coffee maker. She picked up a cup and poured herself some. Jenny rolled her eyes as the Silurian stuck her tongue out to taste the air around the coffee.

"Don't be a big baby, just try it."

Vastra glared at her but picked up the cup and took a tentative sip. She instantly spit it out exclaiming, "Ngoi sinegin, pida fo skav riptu! " She ran to the sink and rinsed her tongue under the water.

Jenny couldn't stop laughing.


"Why did you become a vigilante?"

Vastra shrugged as she sharpened a knife. "It seemed like a good way to past the time. I would never pass for a mammal and my skills are limited to how to kill things."

"But what about joining the Avengers or X-Men."

"I do not work with mammals."

"And yet you spend time with me...?"

"Well, you have an excellent supply of beef jerky. I almost forgot, you don't have any more teriyaki flavor."

Jenny rolled her eyes and continued to flip channels. "What about going back to your people?"

Vastra paused. "Nothing good will come of it."

Jenny looked at the Silurian. "What do you mean?"

She sighed and placed the knife down. "Right now they are slumbering beneath the earth. If my people awaken, they will take back home from you mammals, with force if necessary."

Jenny furrowed her brows. "Force?"

Vastra shrugged and looked down at the floor. "We thrived when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Despite your technological advances, you are only hatchlings compared to us. The first week, all major weapon and nuclear sites will be within our control. By the end of the second week, all your world leaders would either be dead, in hiding, or in our grasps. By the end of the month, all major populated areas would be exterminated. Your superheroes would only delay the inevitable. It would be the end of your species."

Jenny swallowed.

Vastra shook herself and cracked a smile. "Fortunately for you, when I was prematurely awoken, a...friend saw fit to show me you mammals weren't all that bad and it would be a pity to destroy all of you. Especially since you make good food."

Jenny didn't ask any more questions that night. Vastra left shortly after and didn't come for a few weeks after that.


"I bring gifts."

Vastra dumped several packs of jerky and a bag of coffee onto the table.

Jenny looked at Vastra suspiciously. "Where did you get those from?"

The lizard woman rolled her eyes and flopped down on the couch. "Don't worry, it won't be traced to you."

Jenny glared at the woman but gave in and opened a pack. After taking a small piece, she wordlessly handed the bag to Vastra who happily grabbed a large piece. The human bit back a smile when she saw the coffee was one of her favorites.


Vastra hissed in disapproval, her hands curled up into fists as she watched the TV. The Superhuman Registration Act had passed.

"I have to go."

Jenny turned to her in alarm. "What, why?"

Vastra stalked to the window. "You humans will be clamoring for me to reveal who and what I am. I have no desire to be caged again."

"Wait!"

The lizard woman paused.

Jenny grabbed a large thick jacket and held it out to to Vastra. "I... it's going to get cold soon and you reptiles hate that. You better bring it back in good condition."

Vastra, after a long while, nodded and took it. "Of course."

"I mean it, not a single hole or rip."

"Yes, ma'am." Vastra gave a mock salute before exiting the building through the window.

Jenny watched.


After that, there were no more surprise visits at her home or by her car. The fight escalated into an all out war among superhumans. Jenny listened closely to the news and rumors but not a single one surfaced about the scaled woman.

She hoped Vastra found her way back underground where she was safe.


Eventually, the fighting finally ended with heavy casualties and destruction on both sides. Jenny didn't really care who won or lost as long as it stopped.

After several full days at her workplace where they frantically reported on everything, Jenny trudged her way up the stairs and into her apartment. The human froze when she saw a certain lizard woman sprawled on the couch chewing on a piece of beef jerky. Jenny's eyes widened and they stared at each other. Vastra coughed which that shook Jenny from her paralysis. She shook her head as she closed the door.

"Did you leave me anything?"

Vastra handed the bag over and pointed to the jacket swung on the back of the couch. "Yes and jacket is back as promised. A bit dirty but no holes or rips."

Jenny took it and she stared at the Silurian, noting how tired she looked. "Talk to you in the morning? I'm about to fall asleep."

Vastra nodded and was about to head out the window when Jenny's voice stopped her. "You could take the couch."

The Silurian hesitated for a second and turned around nodding. She plopped down on the couch again while Jenny went into her bedroom.

For the first time in a long while, Jenny fell asleep easily. In the morning, she awoke to the smell of coffee. The human drowsily walked to the kitchen and poured herself a cup. Vastra chewed on a piece of jerky as she watched the human. The two sat in comfortable silence for a while as the coffee woke up Jenny.

"I still don't see how you drink something that taste like death."

The human just smiled.

End


Thanks to irissteth's silurian 101 [ irissteth . tumblr Silurian%20101 ] for the Silurian language bit.