Prompt: "The time Jenny got sick, and the only human doctor Vastra knew was the coroner that they'd met at the local morgue…" - greyghost101


John was a simple man. He went to church every Sunday, paid his taxes on time, kept to himself, and handled the dead. After 20 years at it, nothing about the dead phased him. He'd seen drowned, stabbed, burnt, and even on occasion, half eaten corpses. He understood the dead. The police demanded quick results for cases and while he sympathized, one couldn't rush a corpse to reveal its secrets. They needed to be coaxed and occasionally cajoled into giving those up. He hadn't dealt with living patients in a long while.

So he was quite confused when the strange Veiled Detective approached him one day with questions about a living patient instead of a dead one. John stared at the veiled woman before answering.

"Perhaps those questions would be better asked to a doctor?"

The Detective waved his question aside impatiently. "They think everything can be solved with bloodletting and perfumes."

John furrowed his eyebrows before answering. The sooner he answered the questions, the sooner he could get back to his more important patient.

"Sounds like she got the fevers going around. Rest, plenty of layers, and warm food ought to do the trick. Now, ready for the dead?"


And so it continued.

"I reckon it wouldn't kill her if you gave her that. But I'm a coroner, not a doctor."

John soon became used to the strange questions the Detective threw at him even though the living wasn't exactly his field.

"That might work, or it might not work and will cause hair lost."

He even started reading up on medical literature though would deny it if asked.

"Absolutely not, she will end up on my slab!"

Then the medical questions slowed to a trickle before stopping entirely. John didn't understand it but shrugged his shoulders. Perhaps this Jenny servant was fired. She certainly got into a lot of trouble over the years. But no, different questions started popping up all of a sudden.

"Madame, I am a coroner, not a flower expert. But I think you should burn those so the message is clear"

He didn't court people and apparently neither was Madame used to it.

"Detective, he was most definitely expecting more."

John did feel like slapping a few of the suitors upside on the head.

"Well, that was an idiotic move."

Over one particularly horrible story involving a mime and a minstrel, John came to a disturbing realization. He was actually enjoying listening to the woes of the strange Detective. He paused for a second before shrugging.

"So what did he do next?"