The sun bleeding through pale curtains dances on my face. I awaken slowly and groggily, only aware of Rowan lying beside me. I don't open my eyes yet, I just wrap my arms around him and nuzzle my face into the spot between his head and shoulder. He smells different, more human and soft. I reach my hand up to pet his hair, and then I sit up straight in an instant.

Dorian is asleep in bed, not Rowan. I run my fingers through my short, blonde hair and curse myself. When was the last time I hadn't slept in a bed next to Rowan? Dorian rolls over in his sleep and I'm quiet as I get out of bed, careful not to wake him. I smile; he looks so at peace in his sleep. Like his demons have finally let him be, let him get a little rest. Part of me wants to wake him up just so I can see his lazy smile and sapphire eyes, but the more rational part of me reminds myself that he needs all the escape from his demons that he can get.

I go to the kitchen and rummage through the cabinets, looking for food. There are dozens of ingredients for cooking, but other than that there's some fruit. I bet Dorian has made himself French toast and eggs and fresh orange juice every morning. I bet if he was awake right now, he'd offer to make it for me, too. Or anything else that I'd like. I settle for an apple and pull myself up on the counter to sit.

If I wasn't Queen, I could see myself living here. Not here exactly, but a place like this. A homely, sweet cottage that's somewhere far enough from the bustle of the city that I could just relax. Between my lives as an assassin, champion, and queen, I'm ready for a break. When I was with Chaol, I imagined us together in that serenity, but now Chaol is someone I hardly ever talk to, let alone think of romantically. With Rowan, I could never picture us someplace quiet, living alone with just the two of us for miles. I don't think he could live that way, even if he'd want to. In our future, all I can see is battle and war. Fighting and conquering. I can't see a one-bedroom cottage in the middle of the mountains.

But none of that matters; I'll never get to live that life. There will never be a time I'm not Queen. I love my country and my people and I'm proud to rule them and stand for them, but sometimes it's nice to be...alone. When I lived at the Assassins' Keep and then at the glass castle, all I ever wanted was to be somewhere else, to get away. I don't know if I'll ever find a place where I can feel at ease, at home.

Dorian stumbles into the kitchen. His hair is messy, sticking up in all sorts of directions, and his eyes are tired. "Hey, sleepy head," I muse.

He grins at me before sitting at the table and rubbing his eyes. "I wake up exhausted every day. I'm used to it by now."

I sit across from him and ruffle his hair. "Love the look, King. It's very royal."

"Shut up," he moans.

I smirk and keep going. "What? Disheveled and unkempt looks good on you."

"And idiotic and arrogant looks good on you," he shoots back, matching my smirk.

"Ouch," I laugh. Maybe it is possible...for me to find a home. The way Dorian makes me feel - the way he's always made me feel - reminds of the safety and comfort I lived in when I was young, before everything went to hell.

We eat breakfast and chat lightly, falling into our old ways. As I help him wash the dishes, he asks me, "So when do you have to go back?"

"What?"

"Well, you can't stay forever. And you'll have to get back to Terrasen. For that little war thing that's going on, remember?" He's trying to make light of the situation, but I just frown. I can't go back to Terrasen and face my people with nothing to go on. No alliance with the witches, no alliances at all.

Then it hits me. The most obvious answer to all of this.

"Dorian!" I exclaim, grinning. I grab him by the shoulders even though my hands are soapy. He's holding tightly to an ivory dish as if he's afraid I'll shake him and he'll drop it. "It's so simple! How couldn't I have seen it?!" I give him a quick, excited kiss on the cheek before sprinting off to his room to put my other clothes back on.

I can tell I left him confused, but there's no time to waste. I grab his bags and start shoving all of his things in them while shouting, "Dorian, pack up all your things!"

He stands in the doorway while I cram another one of his fine tailored tunics into a bag already filled with them. He's still clutching that dish, his brow furrowed and his eyes skeptical. "Aelin, are you going to explain any of this?"

"Of course. I'll explain on the way. Just grab all of your things and hurry. We're setting out for Terrassen as soon as possible."