Author's Note: First off, I want to apologize to reviewers who I haven't yet replied to from my other Caitlin/Zoom fics (especially to guest reviewers who the site won't let me reply to at all). I will eventually get around to it – for now, please know that I appreciate your time very much!
Technically, I've only watched up to Episode 14, but my friend keeps dropping spoilers on me when we should be studying (GIRL IT'S THE WEEK BEFORE FINALS WHAT ARE YOU DOING). I only watched some clips from the newer episodes, not full ones (I might have missed some important facts). So yeah, this is the crack product of a tired and energy-drink-fueled mind. Whoops. This is the last fanfic you'll see from me till two weeks later lol. I will upload new chapters to my other Caitlin/Zoom fanfics once I've finished recharging (Urgh organic chemistry. It saps the joy out of me). When I wrote this, I was thinking of the way I portrayed Caitlin and Hunter/Zoom from my other Caitlin/Zoom fanfics (they're both asexuals). However, you can interpret it as you wish.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Flash. Please note that certain beliefs the characters have do not reflect my own.
...
All That Remains
It was a terrible, blood-curdling wail. Caitlin had never heard anything like it before.
They could only watch in disbelief as Hunter fell to the ground, his mask cast aside and blood pouring from his wounds. Stripped of his speed-force and regeneration abilities, he could no longer heal himself. The veins in his face grew dark, resembling a spider-web stretching across his skin. The noise that came from him was never-ending and barely human.
Instead of disintegrating like they expected him to, he was dying a slow, agonizing death. She didn't know the reason why, but she could see that almost no one objected to it. Harry watched the writhing man with a disgusted expression and Jesse looked understandably relieved. The others either turned their attention away or impassively looked on, their faces hard.
Only she and Barry were at a loss at what to do.
Which made no sense. She should feel justified like the others – her time as Hunter's 'guest' was still fresh on her mind, and she had only been recently freed from his clutches in this final battle. He killed so many people and ruined numerous lives. Had he not been stopped here, he would have set out to conquer the rest of the multiverse. And he would have dragged her along with him for the ride, forcing her to see all the devastation he wrought. He was a madman, and she hated him.
In another world, where tragedy never hit, he might have been a good man. But he wasn't here, and he was dying a death befitting a monster. She shouldn't feel sorry for him.
Yet, something not unlike pity stirred her heart. Pity and compassion.
It was insane. But Caitlin understood what she was feeling, and if she did not act now, she knew that she would always look back at this moment, regretting. Wondering. Haunted forever by it.
She touched Barry's arm. "We need to do something," she heard herself saying. "This can't go on."
Barry frowned. "I know I shouldn't feel bad for him, considering all he's done to us. But…I can't watch him die like this either." He turned to her. "What do you have in mind?"
"I haven't been here a while, so I don't know if the stocks are replenished," Caitlin said heavily. "But check for intramuscular morphine in the clinic."
She had barely finished the sentence before Barry flickered and suddenly appeared again, the aforementioned item in his hand.
"Do you want me to do it?" he asked her quietly. "Just tell me how to administer it."
Caitlin stared at the morphine, her jaw tightening. "I'll do it," she finally said, reaching out to take it. But the injector didn't budge from Barry's hand when she pulled on it.
"Are you sure? Caitlin, you just got away from him."
The hard look on her face softened at Barry's concern. "I'll be okay. He can't do anything anymore, not like that. Especially not to me. And if he does try something…I know that you can stop him."
"I don't like this," he muttered. "But if that's what you want, then I trust you." He finally released it.
She took Barry's hand with her other one and squeezed it. "Thank you."
Hunter looked worse when she came up to him. His face was deathly pale, and he had bitten his bottom lip so hard, blood dripped down from the cut. When he saw her, the pained, inhuman sounds managed to evolve into something more comprehensible. She knelt beside him, uncaring of the blood that got onto her pants.
"Caitlin," he groaned. "Cait –"
"Hold still as best as you can. I'm giving you a morphine shot. It won't get rid of your pain completely, but it'll dull it." He trembled under her hands as she pressed the injector into his thigh. "Without your abilities, it should take three minutes for it to kick in."
"It would take less than thirty seconds if you injected it into a vein," he wheezed.
Caitlin's face was blank. "Be happy you're getting any at all."
He laughed loudly, even though it looked as if every movement greatly agonized him. "I suppose I deserve that. I've caused a lot of grief. Most might say too much to even be given this favor, much less your presence."
She didn't let his insinuating words provoke her. "No one deserves to die alone. Not even you."
"Why? Because I'm a victim of circumstance?"
"You may have been a victim, but you consciously chose to kill all those people. You're a monster." She drew in a deep breath. "But I would be too if I left you like this. So here I am."
"Heh. Thanks, Cait." It looked like he was about to say more, but another intense wave of pain hit him. His face twisted as he struggled to regain control of himself. "I appreciate it," he grounded out instead.
Her lips pursed. She had learned very quickly that it was impossible to dissuade him from using that affectionate nickname, but she still hated it every time it came from his mouth. "I didn't do it for you."
Somehow through that haze of agony Hunter managed to give her an indulgent smile, like he knew something she did not. "Of course."
The conversation dwindled to silence. Caitlin could see the others nervously move about from the corners of her eyes, but a small shake of her head stopped them from coming closer. Barry, the closest one to her, restlessly paced around, yellow lightning cackling over his body every once in a while.
A deep, shuddering breath drew her attention back to the man on the ground. Although his body still shook from tremors, it wasn't as severe as before. The morphine had finally taken effect.
"That…that feels much better."
"Do you want me to get you a pillow or blanket?" Caitlin hesitated for a moment before she added, "I can hold you if you want. Dying on the ground in your blood isn't really…well, you get the point."
Hunter gave her that same scrutinizing look that always felt like he was peering deep into her soul. A fierce, vicious smile appeared on his mouth. Her eyes widened, and she instinctively started to scramble back. But it was too late. With surprising swiftness, he lunged and pulled her down on top of him. They tumbled back to the ground. The front of her blouse grew wet as he brought them chest to chest, his open wounds staining her clothes.
"Let go of her, Zoom!" Barry snarled, appearing beside them in a flash. "Or so help me – "
"Easy there, Barry." Hunter's eyes remained on Caitlin's. "I won't do anything. I just want to talk. Besides, even if I did, you'll stop me before I can. You took my speed, remember?"
The crimson speedster swore. "Won't do anything? You manhandled her – "
"Barry, don't worry." Caitlin gingerly shifted into a more comfortable position, placing her hands on Hunter's chest and pushing away to give herself some space. Hunter did not resist. "He won't hurt me. Not physically, anyway."
It was clear that Barry wanted nothing more than to pull Caitlin away, but the firmness in her tone made him falter. Grudgingly, he took several steps back. He kept his eyes on them however, ready to intervene at a moment's notice.
He was barely given a reprieve, because the next thing Hunter did set him off again.
A clawed hand briefly trailed through the puddle of blood growing under its owner. Before Caitlin could do anything, Hunter raised his bloodstained hand and dragged it down her cheek. Then both his hands came to the sides of her face.
"You bastard." Barry was by them again. "I should have never pitied you – "
"I don't have much time left," Hunter said breathlessly, ignoring him. "So forgive me for being forward."
She tried to resist, but Hunter was still stronger than her even in his half-dead state. He pulled her face closer to his, until there was barely a breadth of space between them. Though their lips did not touch, their breaths mingled like a kiss.
"You'll never forget me. Won't you, Caitlin?" he murmured. "I'll always be with you."
She wanted so badly to lie. To say that the multiverse was forever gone of his presence, and that everyone – including her – would move on from the nightmare he had dragged them into. But the look in his eyes stalled her answer.
So what's your plan? You're just going to kill everyone?
Not everyone…I'm tired of being alone.
Caitlin swallowed. "I won't ever forget you…but I won't be in your shadow forever too."
A weak, raspy chuckle left his bloodied mouth. "That's my girl," Hunter said fondly. His tone made her skin prickle uncomfortably. "Remember when I said there was darkness in your heart, like Killer Frost? I lied. Everyone has darkness. But you – your willpower and warmth overcomes it. Even if you get your ice powers, I know you will never become her. You're too strong." He paused for a moment, dragging in a deep, painful-sounding breath. "Deep down inside, I always knew you would never give in to me. But that didn't stop me from trying. We all want what we can't have."
It was true that she had doubts about herself. The fear that she would become something she was not. But if there was one thing she knew with certainty, it was that no person was the same, regardless of shared experiences. Barry and Hunter both went through the same tragedies when they were young, but one retained his humanity and faith while the other descended into darkness. It all depended on the person's strength of character, but most importantly, the unrelenting presence of their loved ones.
Family was not a weakness. Hunter could never understand, because his had abandoned him. Not a single one of his kin ever reached out to him even when his mother had died and his father went to prison.
She was lucky enough to be surrounded by friends and family, unlike her counterpart. It was these earthly tethers that kept her as herself.
"I don't need you to tell me that. That woman is nothing like me. The only thing we share is our name and face."
"I know." The corners of his lips quirked into a tired, but soft smile. "That's why I fell in love with you."
Silence fell between them. It seemed that all that talking, as well as forcibly moving her closer to him, had sapped him of his remaining strength. She could feel his hands trembling against her face, growing weak. The opportunity to pull away from him was there, but Caitlin did not. Some sliver of her heart, the one that still remembered the man she had fell in love with, kept her there.
"In another world, another time…do you think we would have been together? Do you think you would have loved me?" he rasped. Although his eyes looked straight into hers, it seemed like they were unfocused at the same time – as if he was no longer fully in the world of the living.
Caitlin didn't reply immediately. If Hunter's love was as genuine as he said it was, then all those interactions held more truth in them than anything else he did as Jay Garrick. She had loved that man. This man was an amalgamation of that and the merciless serial killer – the latter of which she would never approve of and would always be horrified by. But for the former, the kind-hearted man who loved her in his own way, she would give him the answer that lied in the depths of her broken heart.
"If you were the man I had fallen in love with, then yes. On another Earth, I would have loved you."
He exhaled deeply, as if a great burden was leaving him.
"That's…that's good. I was more myself when I was with you. Minus the – well, you know." His eyes briefly closed. "I can see it now. That life. It'd be nice to reincarnate there, if that's how this works. But in that case, I'd probably be a worm." An ugly laugh shook his frame. "Even now, I'm not sorry for my crimes."
She frowned. "Hunter –"
"Listen, Cait." A look of clarity suddenly came into his eyes. He unblinkingly stared up at her, an intense expression on his pale face. "Despite what you think, know without doubt that I love you with every fiber of my being. I would take you with me if I could. But I can't hurt you. So if I can't be with you, I want the next best thing for you. Don't let me ruin you. Promise me. That's the one and only thing I will ever regret."
Her throat tightened. She wasn't sure what she was feeling.
"I promise."
Hunter's face slackened. His eyes closed.
"Good," he breathed. "Good."
His hands slipped from her face, and his body stilled. She only had several seconds to process his peaceful expression before his skin darkened rapidly and his body crumbled to ash.
The attire he wore as Zoom fell limply in her arms. A growing numbness overtook her senses as she blankly watched the particles spill across the ground. Somewhere in the background, she could make out shouts and the rapid steps of people running to her. But Caitlin couldn't wrench her attention away from the sight. Her eyes only broke contact with it when Barry stepped in front of her and pulled her up.
"Caitlin. Caitlin." Multiple hands were touching her, hugging her from all sides. Zoom's clothing was taken out of her hands and thrown to the side. She could hear its muffled thump and the soft slithering noise of more ash pouring out from it. "You're alright. You're alright. It's over." Voices merged with one another, comforting words spoken from multiple people but seemed like it came from one entity. Someone was using a cloth to wipe her face – Hunter's blood was still there – but they seemed to have some difficulty getting it off, because the next thing she knew, her face was resting against someone's shoulder. Cisco's, she noted belatedly. "You'll be okay."
"Yes," she found herself saying. Something wet slid down her cheeks. It was coming from her eyes.
"I'll be okay."
...
The woman standing in front of the mirror looked pale and tired. She didn't recognize herself at all. Caitlin raised a hand and pressed it to her cheek, the same place where Hunter had marked her with his blood.
In the aftermath of Zoom's death, Iris had taken her to S.T.A.R. lab's showering facilities and brought some extra clothing for her to change into. The other woman had embraced her for a long moment, as if she were afraid that Caitlin would drop off the face of this Earth again, before pulling back and quietly telling her that she would be standing outside in the hallway if Caitlin needed anything. Caitlin merely squeezed Iris's hand in reply, unable to trust herself with saying anything.
Once Iris had left, Caitlin took off her bloodstained clothes and stepped into the shower, scrubbing her skin until it became red and raw. Though the carmine remnants of Hunter had long since gone down the drain, she still felt it on her face and skin as if it were fresh. Even when she slipped on the new clothing, the coppery scent of it stayed with her.
It was like a tattoo, Caitlin thought morbidly, spreading her fingers into the exact position the hand-print had been in. A tattoo that could never fade away no matter how much she tried to get rid of it.
'You'll never forget me,' Hunter's voice crooned in her ear. It sounded stronger than the weak murmur from her memories. There was also the growling undertone of Zoom beneath it, something that had gone absent when the speed-force was ripped from him. She shivered. His voice was so tangible, almost as if he were right beside her now, alive and well. 'Won't you, Caitlin? I'll always be with you. You're mine, mine, mine – '
"Did you not hear what I said?" she said aloud. The doors and walls were thick; short of her screaming or breaking something, Iris would not overhear anything. Which was good – she didn't want to appear any more distressed than she was by talking to herself. "I won't let you be in my life forever."
The speedster suddenly materialized in the mirror behind her reflection, clothed in the dark garbs of his alter-ego, but his face was left unmasked. At first, Caitlin thought it was a figment of her imagination, a product of her emotionally compromised state and the stress of all those days finally getting to her. But then he laid a clawed hand over her reflection's heart – and her breath caught in her throat when she felt the pressure at that same moment.
'Oh, I heard. I don't doubt it too.' His other hand wrapped around her waist. 'But we want what we can't have. And if I can't have you in life, then I'll settle for this.'
"You're dead," she said, her voice trembling. In the mirror, he pressed the side of his face against hers. Warmth – warmth that was definitely not coming from the room or herself – bloomed across her cheek and back as he stepped closer to her. "We saw you die. You're nothing but ash."
'You can't lock up the darkness.' An inky blackness bled into his eyes. The remnants of Hunter in his voice was consumed by Zoom's raspy baritone. 'Not even death can hold me back.'
"You're not real," Caitlin vehemently denied, even as her heart beat faster. "My mind is playing tricks on me."
'I assure you, I'm as real as you are, my dear.'
"No, you're not!" Anger overcame her. For a moment, she forgot that she was the only one in the room. "You even told me before you died, that ruining me would be your first and last regret! You made me promise not to let you! What is this if not that?"
'Funny thing, that. I meant every word – but at the time, I chose not to mention one important fact. Your friends were listening in on our conversation, after all.' He kissed the shell of her ear. Goosebumps spread across her skin. 'The speed-force is a living, breathing thing. I may have corrupted it, but it still remembers me as its child. I can never truly die, you see. How do you think Barry returned?' He chuckled, his arm tightening around her. 'It's a beautiful gift, isn't it? I won't waste this second chance.'
"No," she choked out. "That makes no sense. This is different. It can't be – "
'But it issssss,' Hunter drawled. The corners of his mouth pulled back into a savage smile. 'I'm a selfish man, Cait. You're stuck with me…forever.'
That last word triggered something within her. With a defiant scream, she picked up the first item she saw and flung it hard at the mirror. The glass shattered, breaking the image of him into dozens of pieces.
The mirror was still half intact though, and she could see his smug face. She took another object and was about to throw it too when Iris rushed into the room.
"Caitlin, I heard – Caitlin!"
Horrified, the woman immediately came over and wrestled the object from her hand. When Caitlin tried to step toward the mirror, Iris quickly pulled her away with an alarmed cry. It was only then that she noticed the broken shards on the floor, and how dangerously close she came to cutting her bare feet on it.
"Caitlin, what –"
"I saw him in the mirror!" Whatever restraint she had left was gone when she felt Hunter affectionately nuzzle her shoulder. "I saw him, he's dead but he isn't because of the speed-force – "
To Iris's credit, she didn't outright challenge Caitlin's sanity. "Barry took his speed-force. Even if he could come back, there wasn't any in him before he died," Iris said firmly, her hands on Caitlin's shoulders.
"No, he said –"
"Caitlin, look at me, not the mirror." When she did that, Iris continued in a gentler tone. "Zoom was a terrible man. You went through a horrible time, by yourself, with him. It will take a while for you to feel free of him. But I promise you, he's gone for good."
"He really didn't do anything to me." Caitlin's voice broke. She knew Iris meant well, but she wasn't understanding that Hunter was actually there. The woman just thought that she was hallucinating. "He brought me against my will, but he just – he just treated me like normal. He didn't hurt me, he didn't force himself on me, he kept saying he loved me, and now he won't go away –"
"We'll make him go away. All your friends are here. We won't let you go through this by yourself. And I know you will put in your best effort too. Remember, Caitlin? Even Zoom acknowledged that you won't feel his influence forever. You're stronger than him."
"Yes…yes, you're right." Caitlin's voice grew more certain. "I'm stronger than him. He won't be here forever."
"That's right." Iris drew her into a hug. "Everything will be okay. You'll be okay."
"I'll be fine," Caitlin said, staring over Iris's shoulder. It fell from her lips like a promise. "I'll be fine."
In the half-broken mirror, Hunter laughed.
...
Author's Notes: But how, you ask, how is Hunter/Zoom actually with her?! To which I say – it's Speed-Force. 8D *dodges rotten tomatoes*
In all seriousness, it's up to your interpretation. Is it really Hunter's ghost come to haunt her from his grave, or is it really just the stress getting to her? What do you guys think? If it turns out he's a real ghost, she can always throw salt at him or something, I dunno. xD
Reviews are love! You have no idea how much they mean to me. I always doubted my ability to write, so any constructive criticism, or even just a simple comment makes me happy and motivates me. It might take a while, but I'll definitely reply. For guest reviews, the site won't let me though, but know that I appreciate your time nonetheless. :-)
This fic is also posted on Archive Of Our Own under the user Floating_Red_Lotus.