I woke to the sounds of a baby crying and a dog barking. "Dog!" Dean yelled from somewhere down the hall. "Shut up!"

The dog stopped barking immediately, and I heard Ella say tiredly, "His name's Riot."

"His name's Dog when he's barkin' like that," Dean shot back, and I heard his feet shuffle past my door. The crying baby sound came with him, and I figured he was trying to calm Lee down.

I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand and sighed. 9:30. Great. I rolled over and pressed my face into the pillow. It smelled like Sam—the whole room did—and that thought made me sigh again. That was so fucking stupid. Why the fuck would I think that that was okay? I couldn't decide if I was more disgusted with myself or him. He's a fucking Winchester, and I almost…ugh. I'm gonna need to take a bath in acid to get him off me.

On the other hand, though, I just felt guilty. I had taken advantage of him, of the past we had that only he remembered. He's a grown man—he can make his own choices! He didn't have to kiss me! I thought stubbornly, determined to stop feeling bad for him. But I knew that it was mostly my fault—I had urged him on after seeing the way he looked at me, after finding out what I'd meant to him. I couldn't blame him for acting on those feelings when I'd been so forward, and I couldn't blame him for stopping before it went too far. I couldn't blame him—but I wanted to, and anger and annoyance rose up inside me all the same.

There was a knock on my door, and Ella poked her head in. "Mornin'!" she said cheerfully. "Ya sleep okay?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said with a nod.

"Dean's makin' pancakes—want some?"

I struggled between my distrust of Dean and my growing hunger. My stomach growled then, making my mind up for me. "Yeah. Pancakes sound nice."

"Make some extra!" Ella called over her shoulder.

"Got it!" Dean replied.

Ella came into the room and sat down on the corner of the bed. "Ya doin' okay?" she asked worriedly, and I nodded. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked me up and down. "Why're ya wearin' Sam's shirt?"

"He gave it to me so I could get warm," I explained, and her question brought forth one of my own. "So, uh, why did Sam come after me last night?" I said, staring at my hands. "Why didn't you?"

"We had to get the kids from Jess," she explained gently, as if waiting for me to explode. "And Sam's always been good at calmin' ya down—we figured it was worth a shot."

I frowned at her. "Are we not close anymore?"

She took my hands and squeezed them tightly. "No, sweetie, we are! You're still my sister! You're still my favorite person in the whole, wide world!"

"Then what happened to us?"

"I stopped huntin'," she said. "I got pregnant and bought a house, and I stopped—ya didn't. Ya kept huntin' with the boys, and we didn't see each other as much. Sam was there when I couldn't be."

"I don't like it," I said, shaking my head. "We weren't supposed to get attached—just salt, sex, and single-malt whiskey, remember?"

Ella laughed at that. "I remember. But things change, sis. We both fell in love with those boys, whether we wanted to or not. We didn't really get a say in the matter."

"You know that things have changed again, though, right?" I said sourly. "I don't love them. And you can tell me that I eventually will," I said hurriedly as she opened her mouth, "but I disagree. You had time to get used to them—you met them years after Greg. For me…" I trailed off, and I stared down at my hands again. "They look too much like John," I muttered. "Especially Dean. Every time I see him, I see his father pulling that trigger."

"It wasn't him," she said, squeezing my hands again. "Ya can't put that on him. Ya can't blame him for what John did. It's not fair to him. To either of them."

"So, what, you're saying I should push back every single horrible feeling I have right away, just like that?!" I snapped. "God, Ella, I may be a freak, but I'm not a fucking miracle worker!"

"That's not what I meant, and ya know it," she said sternly. "I'm sayin' ya gotta start workin' past that. 'Cause neither of those boys are goin' anywhere, and you sure as hell better not be, either. And you're not a freak, so don't even think stuff like that." She gazed up at me with big, sad eyes. "This is the first time in a year my whole family's been back together," she said quietly. "I just want y'all to be okay."

I knew that she was manipulating me, trying to guilt me into behaving, and I wasn't going to let it work. It would take a lot more than a tearful plea from her to change my mind about the Winchesters. They took her away, I thought bitterly. She fell in love with Dean and had his kids, and she's spent the last year with Sam. She's not my Ella anymore—she's theirs. I frowned and broke eye contact, and I could tell she got the message when she heaved a defeated sigh.

"Breakfast!" Dean called suddenly, and Ella released my hands and got off the bed.

"Ya comin'?" she asked.

"Changed my mind," I replied shortly. "I'm not hungry."

She put her hands on her hips and cocked an eyebrow at me. "So you're just gonna sit in here all day?"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Fine, whatever," she said with a roll of her eyes. As she stormed away, she said, "Starve to death for all I care—it'd certainly save me some trouble."

She slammed the door behind her, and I let out a long, low, deep breath. I hadn't wanted to fight with her—I hated fighting with her—but I couldn't believe she could expect me to just be okay with Sam and Dean only a day after I'd gotten back. Hell, I couldn't believe she expected me to be okay with them ever.

My stomach growled again, and I huffed in annoyance. I had two options: go into the kitchen and converse with Dean or curl up under the covers and go back to sleep. I took the option that required less effort and caused me less annoyance, and I pulled the covers up to my chin, wishing that sleep would take me quickly and that maybe I'd wake up back when things made sense.

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

A few hours later, I woke up again. I was hungrier than ever, but I still refused to admit defeat and ask for food. With a groan, I climbed out of bed and made my way out into the hallway, following the sound of voices toward the living room. When I heard my name, I stopped right inside the hall, making sure they couldn't see me, and I waited to hear what they were saying about me.

"Look, she doesn't remember much of anythin' after Dad died. This is a different Gari from the one y'all know." Ella sounded really worried, but I didn't see what the big deal was. How different could I be from the current me?

"I don't see how she could be that different," one of the Winchesters said, echoing my thoughts. Judging by the gruffness of his voice, I guessed it was Dean.

"How different?" the other Winchester asked. He sounded like he was taking this more seriously than his brother.

"After Dad…" Ella paused as she thought. "She was volatile, angry, uncontrollable. She'd go into these fits when huntin' where she'd just let her powers go and didn't care what happened, or she'd freeze up and not be able to do anythin'. She wasn't sleepin', she hardly ate, and she'd go days barely speakin' to me."

"It was that bad?!" Sam asked, and I heard more than just shock in his voice. Pain? Why does my pain hurt him? Ugh, why is everything so emotional with him?

"How'd she get over it?" asked Dean.

Ella sighed. "Lenore."

"Lenore?"

"Shit," Sam hissed. Who the fuck is Lenore?

"So that's why she was so devastated when Cas killed her," Dean concluded. "She wasn't just a past girlfriend; she helped her cope with losin' Greg." Girlfriend?

"Wait, what?" Sam and Ella exclaimed.

"I thought they were just really good friends!" Sam said.

"She never told me they dated!" Ella complained. "How come you know?!"

"I guess she just tells me more than she tells you two," the older Winchester said triumphantly. "It's probably because we're so alike. We've always had more in common."

"Deaaan!" Ella whined, and I could picture her sticking out her bottom lip in a pout. "Why'd she tell ya?"

The amusement faded slightly from Dean's voice as he said, "When we came to see you that week after Bobby died and we got drunk, she told me they'd dated."

"Was that before or after you called her a monster?" Sam asked quietly, and an uncomfortable silence suddenly flooded the living room.

Dean called me a monster? Even though we're supposedly so close? What did I do to deserve that?! It's not my fault I have these powers! I haven't hurt anyone since I was nine, and that was an accident! That's not enough to warrant being called a monster!

I could still feel the tension covering the three of them from my eavesdropping spot, and I decided I'd better intervene before a fight broke out, though I wasn't sure why I cared so much. It wasn't like I knew the Winchesters; it wasn't like I cared about them. But, apparently, they care about me. Even if they call me "monster" sometimes.

I shuffled into the living room without a word and stood awkwardly beside Ella's chair. It seemed like I'd walked in just in time, for Ella quickly clamped her mouth shut, and I knew she'd been about to bless Dean out. "We're gonna talk about this later, got it?" she said to him, striving to keep her voice neutral, and he gave her a terse nod.

My eyes flicked over to Sam, and I caught him staring at me. He blushed and looked away, and I almost smiled. All that blushing is so freaking cute. I mentally shook myself, surprised at my thoughts. What the hell am I thinking? He's still a fucking Winchester. He's still just another distraction, another attachment I don't need. Smiling at him will just give him false hope.

"You, uh…you wanna sit down?" Sam asked shyly, gesturing to the empty spot on the couch beside him.

"No."

He blinked once, obviously made uncomfortable by my curt reply. "Okay…" he said slowly, and he turned his gaze away from me again, now staring down at the floor. I instantly regretted my rudeness, and I had the strangest urge to apologize. What the fuck?! Get your shit together, G!

"So, uh, Gari," Ella said, and I looked at her curiously. "Ya sleep okay?"

I nodded once. "I guess."

"Ya hungry?"

"No."

"Ya needa eat sometime, y'know."

"Yeah, well, not now."

Ella breathed out a long sigh. "Alright, whatever. Ya get hungry, ya can find somethin' yourself. Ya know where the kitchen is."

"Yeah."

"Way to be grateful," Dean muttered, and I glared at him.

"Back the fuck off, Winchester!" I snarled.

He threw his hands up in exasperation. "I still can't believe we're back to this. Are you gonna break my nose again? Because once was enough for me, thanks."

I frowned in confusion. "What?" He mentioned that yesterday, didn't he?

"One of the first times we met, Dean was being a dick and you broke his nose," Sam explained, one side of his mouth quirking up in a tiny grin. "It was pretty great."

"Yeah, for you," Dean mumbled.

"Didn't you and Ella kinda get together right after that, though?" Sam teased.

"Okay, so it wasn't all bad," Dean amended, and he grinned cheekily at Ella, who laughed and shook her head.

"Any leads on Kevin?" Ella asked as her laughter died down. She seemed hesitant to ask, and, as I saw the angry look that Dean shot Sam, I understood why.

"You said that name yesterday," I said to Sam and, after he got over the surprise of me speaking to him, he nodded. "He was taken by demons, right?"

Sam nodded again. "Yeah," he said quietly, and he wouldn't meet anyone's eye.

Ella reached across to the couch and put a comforting hand on his arm. "Ya have to stop beatin' yourself up, Sam," she insisted gently. "What's done is done, 'kay? Ya can make up for it by findin' him." Sam glanced up at Ella gratefully, squeezing her hand as a way of thanks. Dean scoffed in annoyance, and Ella's demeanor changed instantly. "Ya needa back the hell off!" she snapped at him. "I'm sure he feels bad enough already; stop makin' it worse!"

"He quit!" Dean shot back. "He turned tail and ran and left Kevin with friggin' Crowley! He doesn't get to get off that easy!"

Sam looked like he wanted to defend himself, but Ella did his job for him. "He was alone, Dean! Ya disappeared—you and Cas both—with no tellin' where y'all went! Crowley took Kevin and Meg, and he killed Gari! I woulda run off, too!" So this Crowley guy is the one who killed me. Guess who's on the top of my hit list.

"He didn't even try to bring me back," Dean argued, "or Gari!"

"He looked for weeks, Dean! With no leads at all! He wasn't sleepin' or eatin'—it wasn't healthy!" Ella was now sitting on the edge of her seat, her face red with anger, and I could tell that she was resisting the urge to start crying—she hated that she cried out of anger; it made her feel weak. "And he and Gari promised each other not to do anythin' stupid!"

I watched the argument curiously. Dean seemed utterly shocked and almost offended that Ella would defend Sam so vehemently; I figured that Ella generally sided with Dean in most disagreements, and this was a strange occurrence for him. Sam seemed to be trying to disappear into the couch—he'd slumped down and was ducking his head so that his hair hid his flushed face. Spending a year with only each other had obviously made Sam and Ella very close, and I could tell that Dean was just now figuring this out and wasn't too happy about it.

"So you just quit," Dean said flatly, glaring at his brother.

Sam looked at Ella, seeing if she was going to let him speak now; she stayed quiet, shooting daggers at Dean, and Sam finally spoke. "We always said we'd get out," he said, once again avoiding looking at any of us, and I got the sense he'd used this defense before. "I just finally did it. You did it, too, Dean, after I went to Hell."

"I still looked for you!"

Sam frowned. "We've gone back and forth sacrificing ourselves and everything else for each other so many times, and you know how that works out!" Dean rolled his eyes, apparently annoyed that Sam had a point. "Look, Dean…" The younger Winchester fixed his brother with his puppy eyes, silently pleading for forgiveness and understanding. "I'm sorry about Kevin, I am—that's totally on me, and I know it. But I didn't know where you were. For all I knew, you could've been in Heaven, and I didn't wanna risk taking that away from you. I'm sorry about Kevin; I'm sorry you were in Purgatory. But I'm not sorry I didn't try harder to bring you back because I didn't know." He gazed at Dean expectantly, as if waiting for Dean to tear him down some more, but the older Winchester just huffed and looked away.

Ella glanced between the two of them warily; then she finally said, "So…Kevin? Leads? Yes or no?"

"I found Sam's old phones last night," Dean muttered, staring moodily at the coffee table. "Kevin left a bunch of messages, sayin' he'd escaped Crowley—happened more than six months ago." He briefly glared up at Sam then went back to staring at the table.

"And?" Ella prompted.

"And we tracked him down," Sam said, and the guilt was painfully clear in his voice. No matter what Ella said, I knew that Sam would continue beating himself up. "Centreville, Michigan—his high school girlfriend goes to college there."

"When are y'all leavin'?"

Sam looked at me out of the corner of his eye, and I raised my eyebrows at him curiously. "In about an hour," he said reluctantly, and I understood the almost longing glance. I understood it, but I didn't like it.

Dean turned toward me. "Wanna tag along, get back in the game?"

"I can barely spend ten minutes around you without wanting to kill you," I said matter-of-factly, crossing my arms over my chest. "So I'll pass."

"A simple 'no' would've worked," he mumbled.

"Hey, sis, can I talk to ya for a minute?" Ella asked suddenly, and she stood and walked into the kitchen without waiting for an answer. Once I entered the kitchen, she sighed and sank onto a barstool with her head in her hands. "Sorry 'bout the family drama," she said, her voice muffled by her palms. "We're still workin' through some stuff since Dean got back. Didn't have much time to figure it out before ya showed up."

"I can tell," I said with a smirk. "So Sam really quit? Just like you?"

"Yep."

"And you two have been living together for a year?"

"Uh-huh."

I raised my eyebrows. "And you're sure there's nothing going on there?"

Ella let out a disbelieving laugh. "Me and Sam? Blegh! He's like my brother! I love him, yeah, but definitely not like that!" She stopped laughing, and her smile faded slowly. "He was just here for me," she said softly, "and I was here for him. We lost y'all, and it was just me and him. We got pretty close." She stared at me for a minute then said, "So what d'ya think of all this? Who's in the right, here?"

I shrugged—I'd been wondering the same thing. "I know why Dean's pissed," I said finally, because I could relate. Greg had made us promise him and each other that we'd never try to bring back whichever one of us died first, but I'd known that I'd break that promise. If it hadn't been for Ella, my soul would've been gone a long time ago, and Greg would still be hunting. But if anything ever happened to Ella, there would be no one there to hold me back—even if there was, I'd probably do something stupid, anyway. I couldn't imagine a life without Ella in it, and I was never going to let such a reality come true. The fact that she hadn't tried to bring me back shouldn't have hurt me, but it did. It wasn't enough to make me as angry as Dean, but it was enough to make me doubt our relationship even more.

"I figured ya would," Ella sighed. "'Specially 2003 you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, feeling offended.

Ella closed her eyes and shook her head. "It's nothin'. Forget it."

I knew that, no matter how much I pried, she wasn't going to talk, so I let it go for the moment. "But I can…kinda see where Sam's coming from," I admitted quietly.

Ella's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"We've all wanted to be normal at one point. He just actually did it. You both did."

"Thanks," she said with a smile.

"For what?"

"For tryin' to understand. Y'know, ya should really go with 'em," she said, and I wondered if this was the reason she'd asked me back here in the first place. "More than just the fact that ya'd be huntin' again, it'd give ya a chance to maybe change your mind about 'em."

I couldn't pretend that I wasn't considering it. Sitting around this house for even a day was making me feel antsy, and I thought that killing something scary might make me feel a little better. Still, it would be the first time that I could personally remember that I hadn't been hunting with Ella, and the thought of working with any other hunters—especially if those hunters were the Winchesters—wasn't all too appealing.

"Gari, c'mon," Ella urged. "Ya needa be out doin' somethin', and ya know it." As usual, she seemed to read my mind. "Go with 'em. But, uh, only if you're not gonna spend the whole time tryin' to piss Dean off."

"Oh, believe me, if I wanna piss Dean off, I'll piss Dean off—there'll be no 'trying' involved," I joked.

A smile bloomed on her face. "So's that mean you'll go?"

I huffed. "Yeah, I guess so. But I reserve the right to ditch their asses if I get sick of them."

"Noted! Ya better get packed; y'all are leavin' soon! I'll go tell 'em!"

With that, she ran off, and I let out a long sigh as I walked back to Sam's room. What the hell did I just agree to?

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

"So what made you change your mind?" Dean asked after about three hours of somewhat awkward silence broken only by classic rock playing softly from the radio.

"I wanted to kill something," I stated. "I figured that something should be a monster—Ella would be upset if it were either of you."

Dean didn't comment on that, but he shared a slightly worried look with Sam. "Who said we're huntin' monsters?" he asked instead. "We're just gonna find Kevin."

"Yeah, the kid who got kidnapped by demons, escaped, then disappeared again. There's absolutely no way this is a hunting thing," I said sarcastically.

"Y'know…maybe she has a point," Sam said uneasily.

"I generally do. Hey, what's with that look?" I asked abruptly.

Sam frowned. "What look?"

"The one you just did—you did it when I called you Sammy, too, and when I asked you which pillow was mine. The tortured soul look." I realized that I was being insensitive, but I was too curious to care.

"I-I dunno what look you're talking about," Sam said uncomfortably.

I nodded. "Yeah, you do."

"No, I—"

"So'd you pack a suit or somethin'?" Dean asked me, effectively silencing Sam's protests. "We're goin' as Feds."

"Yep. Heels and all," I replied.

"Got your badge?"

"That's insulting."

"Hey, just checking. I dunno how experienced you are right now—you still think you're twenty years old."

"I don't think twenty-year-olds look this good," I said with a shrug, and Sam chuckled. "No, but, seriously. I know how to do my job, okay? If you want me to be civil and not make this trip totally miserable, you should probably accept that."

"Alright, alright, I get the message," Dean said dismissively.

"So do you two normally fight this badly?" I said conversationally, and both brothers tensed. "I mean, I take it this has been an issue since you got back, Dean—so that's about a week-long argument. What's the record? Two weeks? A month?"

"About half a year," Sam answered finally, and I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "But that was because I didn't have a soul."

"Yeah, and he was a major dick all the time," Dean added.

I frowned. Losing your soul must be a major thing, then, if it could make Sam into a dick. The man's an overgrown puppy. My frown deepened. Here I go with the liking-Sam thing again. Stop getting attached. Stop sympathizing. Stop caring.

"You okay?" Sam asked, noticing that I'd zoned out. Those freaking puppy eyes. What the hell is with this guy?

"I'd be better if I could go five seconds without you asking me that," I snapped, and he nodded once as if expecting a response like that and turned back around.

"So where's your soul?" Dean asked casually, and Sam shot his brother a warning look.

"Excuse me?" I narrowed my eyes, wondering if this was heading where I thought it was.

"I mean, what other reason d'you have for actin' like this?"

Don't get angry, I told myself. You were rude first. Do not get angry. Breathe. Calm. Get a hold of yourself. Just then, there was a loud bang, and Dean swerved over to the side of the road. Oh, shit. Too late.

"The hell was that?!" Dean exclaimed as he got out of the car. He walked around to the back of the passenger's side and glared town at the busted tire; then he glared at me through the back window. "Did you do this?!" he accused, and I shrugged sheepishly. "What the hell, Gari?!"

I wanted to say that it was an accident—because it totally was—but the look of annoyance on Dean's face was just too good. Sam, however, seemed to know that I hadn't done it on purpose, for he looked back over the seat and said, "So in 2003, your powers were still a little hard to control, huh?"

"I'd gotten a lot better," I said. And why am I telling him this? "But after Greg…they got worse. Strong emotions make them…sorta hard to control, and, well…" I shrugged again, staring pointedly at the back of the seat in front of me.

"Look, if you ever need anything…" Sam said quietly. "I-I dunno how much help I'll be, but… I mean, I can try. Just, uh, just le—"

"I'm good, thanks," I interrupted somewhat harshly.

He pressed his lips together and nodded. "Right."

"Hey!" Dean hammered on Sam's window agitatedly. "You wanna get outta the damn car so I can change the damn tire?!"

Sam and I got out and walked around to watch Dean fight with the car jack. I smothered a laugh as Dean struggled with the tire—Dean didn't notice, but Sam did, and we shared an amused look. I don't get it. I'm mean to him—and I'm mean a lot. Why doesn't that shake him?

After a bunch of grunting and cursing, Dean stood up and wiped the sweat from his brow. "I hope you're happy," he grumbled, "'cause this just means you gotta stay in the car with us even longer."

Ugh, I didn't think about that… I heaved a deep sigh as I slid into the backseat, and I leaned my head against the window, hoping that they could get the signal to not talk to me. Seeing as the rest of our ride consisted with scattered conversation between the brothers, I'd say it worked.

We got changed into our Fed suits in a rest stop right before we reached Centreville; then we headed to the college. Once there, we quickly tracked Kevin's girlfriend Channing down and, upon saying we were looking for clues to Kevin's disappearance, Channing led us inside. Her roommate looked up from her laptop as we entered, and her eyes widened as we showed our badges.

"The last time I saw Kevin was, like, a year ago," Channing told us. She didn't sound too concerned about her ex-boyfriend.

"When he disappeared?" Sam asked for clarification.

"Mhm. He stole his mother's car because he thought he was on a mission from God or something?" She rolled her eyes in disbelief. "It was crazy."

"Shut up!" her roommate exclaimed suddenly. "My friend Adam—who got addicted to Adderall but got a perfs on his SATs, so it was totally worth it—same thing!"

Channing gasped. "Shut up!"

"Serious! Mission from God!"

Sam cleared his throat, and the roommate gave him an apologetic look. "Look, Channing," Sam said, "we know Kevin was here."

"No, he wasn't," Channing insisted.

"And we understand if you're trying to protect him," Sam continued. "But nobody can protect Kevin better than we can."

"I hate Kevin," Channing said angrily. "I wouldn't protect him!"

Dean frowned. "I thought you two had a thing."

Channing scoffed. "Yeah, when he was going to Princeton."

"Wow." Dean blinked in surprise. "Just like that?"

"Yeah," the roommate said, nodding vehemently.

She and Channing shared an understanding look, and Channing nodded once. "Mhm."

Neither of the boys looked like they knew what to say to that, so I stepped in. "Thanks for your time, ladies," I said, and I handed them one of the business cards Sam had given me. "Give us a call if you hear anything from him." I looked over at Sam and Dean. "Agents." I walked out, and they followed me out of the dorm.

"Is that really a thing?" Dean asked me as we stepped outside.

"What?"

"Y'know, ditching a guy as soon as you find out he's not goin' places."

I snorted. "You're kidding, right?" By the look on his face, he wasn't. "It's definitely a thing."

"Seems a little heartless, don't you think?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Before Elle, how many relationships did you have? And I mean lasting two weeks or longer."

"Uh…one? Maybe less?"

"Of all the girls you hooked up with—and I'm guessing that's a lot—how many d'you think actually thought it was going somewhere?"

"Well, uh…"

"Even when you lied about who you were."

"I don't, uh…all of them?" he guessed.

"Wrong." I rolled my eyes. "Pretty much none of them. Girls can tell when guys are going nowhere in life—it's pretty much a sixth sense. All those girls you hooked up with, even if they denied it to themselves—they knew you weren't sticking around, and they knew they shouldn't get attached in the first place because you've got nothing more to offer than a pretty face and a night or two of crazy fun times. Channing's not heartless; she's focused. And that's gonna get her somewhere in life."

Sam laughed at the look on Dean's face; the older Winchester looked like he'd just had some sort of revelation. "Is that right?!" he asked his brother urgently. "Is she right?!"

"Most of the time," Sam chuckled.

I frowned at him. "I think you mean always." That sad look crossed his face again, but when he noticed me staring, he quickly forced a neutral expression. Seriously, though, what the hell?

Dean was quiet for a moment, apparently thinking over all the girls he'd scammed. Then something else dawned on him, and a teasing grin crossed his face. "D'you really think I'm pretty?" he joked.

"Yeah, you're totally gorgeous," I replied with a shrug. "But I still kinda hate your guts."

That seemed to satisfy him somewhat, for he changed the subject back to the serious matter at hand. "So why would Kevin come sniffing around here if not to see her?"

Sam shrugged. "No idea. Maybe we should split up, ask around, see if anybody's seen him?"

"Yeah, Asian kid, yea high, at a university," Dean muttered. "That should be easy."

"Look, you do that, and I'll see if I can track any computer access Kevin's had lately."

"You can do that?" I asked, impressed against my will.

"We met a hacker last year who showed me the basics."

"Huh. Cool. So does that mean you'll be sitting down somewhere?"

Sam grinned. "Eventually, yeah."

"Wicked. I'm going with Goliath."

I saw Sam's blush out of the corner of my eye as Dean opened his mouth then closed it again, apparently deciding that he didn't want an explanation. "Okay. Meet up at that café near the dorms?" he said instead.

"Sounds good," Sam nodded, and we went our separate ways. "Do you have to call me that?" he said once there was enough distance between us and Dean, and it almost sounded like he was whining.

"What would you prefer?" I teased. "Jolly Green? Big Bird? Treebeard? I'm sure I can think of more." He rolled his eyes, but he laughed anyway. "And, hey, at least I dropped the 'sexy' part!"

He shook his head slowly as his laughter faded. "I can't keep up with you," he said, sounding faintly exasperated. At my confused look, he clarified, "One second, you hate me; the next, you're flirting."

"I am so not flirting," I protested.

"Gari, you're the most obvious flirt I've ever met. When you're flirting, there's basically a big neon sign above your head letting people know."

Eh, he has a point. "Okay, so, maybe I'm flirting a little, but it's only because it's so fun to see you get so flustered! You blush like a Japanese school girl!"

"I do not!" he said stubbornly, but the intense red blush on his cheeks proved my point.

"You look like a tomato right now."

"Shut up."

"That offer to make me is still open." He looked away then. "That's the look!" I announced. "That's it again, and you can't say you're not doing it because you totally are." I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows expectantly. "So what is it? Is it sad? 'Cause it looks kinda sad."

"They're inside jokes," he said, staring at the ground with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched. "You called me Sammy—you're always right—the 'make me' thing."

"And the pillow?"

He blushed even deeper. "It's just another inside joke. It'll make you uncomfortable." Clearly, I wasn't the only one who might be made uncomfortable. While curiosity was burning inside of me, I finally took into account how extremely inconsiderate I was being, and I decided to ease off so we could get to work finding this kid.

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

"Don't judge me," Dean said as he sat down at our table. "I got bubkis."

Sam opened his mouth to speak, but, just then, a waitress came up with our food. "Here you go," she said as she sat the plates down.

Sam smiled at her. "Thank you." As she walked away, he pushed his plate towards Dean.

The older Winchester's eyes lit up at the size of the burger. "Sweet mother of God," he breathed. "It's for me? Seriously?!" Sam nodded once, and Dean's face broke into a huge grin as he picked up the burger. I shook my head at him as I ran one of my french fries through a huge glob of ketchup. "Hey, aren't vegetarians supposed to be healthy?" Dean asked me.

"Technically, ketchup's a smoothie." I smirked at him, and he chuckled.

"Check this out," Sam said, turning his laptop to show Dean what we'd found. "So, I went through campus security archives around the time Kevin should've been here. Anyone look familiar?" Dean took a bite of his burger just then, and his eyes slid closed as he let out a soft, disturbing moan. I made a face at him as Sam said, "Dude, it's a burger."

"It's a treasure," Dean corrected as he opened his eyes. He looked at the security footage and frowned as he saw the kid Sam had pointed out to me as Kevin Tran. "Alright, so, what? Kevin comes all the way to campus and doesn't see his girlfriend?"

"I dunno, but we went to the computer lab and found the computer he was on."

"And?"

"And I found the website he was visiting, found his account username, hacked into the website, found when else this username logged in, and then I reverse-tracked the IP address back to the original user, Kevin, who has apparently been using the same wireless router for the past two months."

Dean looked as lost and impressed as I'd felt when Sam had done all of that, and he said, "That is spectacular work. Any chance I can get that in English?"

Sam rolled his eyes as he pulled up a map on his laptop. "Yeah, I think he's in Iowa—at a coffee shop."

He showed the map to Dean, who nodded. "Let's get goin'," the older Winchester said; then he hesitated as he looked at his burger. "…In a few minutes," he amended.

"So why's this kid so important?" I asked as Dean took another bite.

"Well, he was our responsibility," Sam said, and I could tell he was still feeling really guilty about ditching Kevin. "We dragged him into our world, and then he got kidnapped because of us."

"But what's with the high demand? Why would a demon take him?"

"He's the Prophet," Dean said around a mouth full of food.

"He's the what?"

Dean swallowed. "The Prophet—y'know, Keeper of the Word of God, that kinda thing."

I frowned and shook my head. "No, no, no—see, God doesn't exist. That's not a thing. You're not telling me that's a thing." I looked at Sam, hoping for him to say something rational. "…Is it?"

Sam shrugged apologetically. "As far as we know…yeah. It's a thing."

Anger surged up inside me then as I thought back to all the times I'd prayed as a child and gotten no answer. "Then what the fuck's his problem?!" I exclaimed.

"That," Dean said with a nod, "is an excellent question."

I let out a deep breath, trying to regain control of my emotions. "So next you'll be telling me angels are real, huh?"

"They are," Sam said. "Our friend Cas was one."

I looked at Dean. "He's the one who went to Purgatory with you?"

The older Winchester looked down at his now-empty plate. "Yeah," he muttered. "That's the one." A small, awkward silence passed where I actually felt kind of bad for bringing up a sore subject, but Dean soon got over it. "So are you done?" he asked me, eyeing the few french fries on my plate. "'Cause I'm ready to hit the road."

I grabbed the remaining french fries and stuffed them in my mouth. "Mhm," I nodded, unable to speak, and Sam chuckled as we got up from the table and left the college campus.

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

We got out of the car in front of an old church in Fairfield, Iowa. It didn't look very safe, and Dean looked up at it with displeasure. "A church?" he said skeptically, cocking an eyebrow at his brother. "You sure this is right?"

Sam nodded. "Barista at the coffee shop swears he's seen Kevin ducking in here for the past few months." He tried the front door, but it was locked. "Kevin!" he called. "It's Sam and Dean Winchester! Open up!"

Sam shook his head at Dean, and Dean pulled out his lock-picking kit. "Wait!" I said before he could start. "Lemme try." Dean shrugged and stepped back, and I held out my hand. With a sound like a gunshot, the door flew in and slammed against the wall. I grimaced apologetically. "That…wasn't supposed to happen like that," I said embarrassedly, and Dean rolled his eyes and stepped inside the church.

As soon as we'd entered, we were assaulted by a kid holding a large water gun that smelled like it was full of cleaning products. That stops Leviathans, right? How lame. "Stop, stop!" Dean yelped, holding his hands up in defense. "Not Leviathans! It's us!"

Kevin lowered the water gun, and I noticed he was staring right at me with an expression of awe on his face. "G-Gari?!" he said shakily. "Y-you're alive?!" He rushed forward and wrapped his arms around me before I had the chance to react, and I stiffened at the unwanted contact. I didn't say anything—I wanted to let this kid have time to rejoice over the fact that I was alive, but I also very much wanted him to stop touching me.

"Uh...Kevin?" Sam said, noticing the look on my face. "You mind letting her go?"

Kevin did as he said, but looked between Sam and me confusedly. "What the hell happened to you guys?"

Dean answered for all of us. "Cliff Notes? I went to Purgatory, Sam hit a dog, and Gari has amnesia."

"For real?" Kevin glanced at me, his face flushing slightly at this new information. "I-I'm sorry," he said, and I nodded once in acceptance of his apology. "Uh, you want some towels?"

Dean nodded, and we followed Kevin toward the front of the church. He dug around in a bag sitting on the front pew, and he tossed Dean a few towels to pass out to us. As we dried off, I looked around the room at all of the different warding symbols on the walls—some I recognized, and some I didn't. Dean seemed to be doing the same thing, for he asked, "Who taught you all this?"

"I guess…God," Kevin said with a shrug.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "God taught you how to trap demons?"

"Technically, yeah."

"Wait, wait, hold on. Crowley kidnapped you. I saw that. But then you left a message saying you escaped. How?"

"Well… First, he took me to a warehouse. There was a tablet there, like the last one."What kind of tablet is he talking about?

"Wait, there's another tablet?" Dean asked. "So another Word of God?" Are you fucking kidding me? The 'Word of God?' For fuck's sake.

Kevin nodded. "Yes."

"How many Words of God are there?"

"I just became a Prophet, like, a year ago…" Kevin said slowly.

"Well, did this tablet have a name?" Sam asked.

"'Demons.'"

"What about demons?" All three of them looked at me as though surprised I'd spoken.

A tiny smile tugged at the corner of Kevin's mouth. "As far as I could tell…everything." Sam and Dean looked at each other, noticing Kevin's excitement but not yet understanding. "The first thing I found was about Hell Gates," the Prophet said.

"What about Hell Gates?" Sam questioned.

"There's one in Wisconsin. The tablet told me how to open it. There were ingredients for a spell."

"You showed the King of Hell how to open a Hell Gate?!" Dean exclaimed. "So that all the demons could come out all at the same time?!"

"What?" Kevin gave Dean an insulted look. "No! I told Crowley I was opening a Hell Gate, but I was reading from another chapter—'How to Destroy Demons.'"

Dean chuckled. "You son of a bitch."

Sam frowned. "Wait, Kevin, where's the tablet now?"

"Safe," the kid replied, getting a guarded look on his face.

"Safe where?"

"Hey, as long as it's safe, okay?" Dean said. "Were you able to read anything else off the tablet before you stashed it?"

"Only the stuff about closing the Gates of Hell forever," Kevin said nonchalantly.

Dean eyebrows shot up his forehead. "Come again?"

"Banish all demons off the face of the earth, lock them away forever." A full-blown grin crossed the Prophet's face. "That could be important, right?"

Sam and Dean shared a disbelieving look, and Dean nodded slowly at Kevin. "Closing the Gates of Hell forever? Yeah—yeah, that could be important."

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

"So…you lost your memory?" a tentative voice asked, and I turned to see Kevin standing awkwardly by the door. "Sorry, I, uh, I just have to get my stuff. We're leaving soon."

"It's fine," I said. I'd just come into the little area off the main room of the church to clear my head. I was getting restless again—I didn't like being around these people I didn't know. They talked to me so easily, like I was one of them, and I simultaneously loved and hated the inclusion. It felt strange, too strange for me to be completely okay with it. And then there was Kevin, another person who'd known me before, another person whom I'd upset by not remembering. Plus, all the stuff with closing the Gates of Hell and getting rid of all demons was a little too much to take in at the moment. It was all so overwhelming. Right then, all I wanted was to be back with Ella.

"So I guess that means you don't remember Sucrocorp," Kevin said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head slowly. "I…have no idea what that is."

"It was where you died."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I mean, I didn't see it, but Crowley told me about it when he took me." Kevin stared at the ground. "He said you died alone."

"Sam was there," I said, "or, at least, he said he was. He said he held me."

Kevin's eyes widened, full of sorrow and pity. "That sounds horrible."

I nodded. "Yeah, it does."

Kevin came and sat down beside me, and he was just a little too close for comfort. I shifted away slightly, hoping he wouldn't notice. "So you dunno where you went?" he asked. "Y'know, when you died?"

"Nope."

"Any guesses?"

"Hell, probably."

"Why's that?"

"Life of a hunter—plus my tragic back-story."

"Huh?"

I forced a smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know."

He shook his head. "Well, either way, even though you don't remember much…I'm glad you're back."

"Thanks, kid." I stood up then, wanting to put space between us. "You ready to go?" He nodded and followed me back into the main room. "Let's blow this popsicle stand," I announced, and Sam and Dean broke off their conversation at my words.

Suddenly, the floor started to shake, and I pushed Kevin backwards as some of the floorboards cracked in half. "We got company!" Dean warned, and I rolled my eyes at the unnecessary comment. He reached into a bag, pulled out a knife, and handed it to Sam. Then he pulled out another weapon, some sort of blade that looked like it had come straight from Saruman's Uruk-hai army.

"What the hell is that?" Sam asked.

Dean smirked. "It's Purgatory."

Just then, the doors flew open, and three demons walked in. "Dean Winchester," one of them said with a menacing grin. "Back from Purgatory."

"Spanky the demon!" Dean grinned. Sam slid in front of Kevin and me, and I couldn't tell which one of us he was trying to protect. It better be the kid, I thought agitatedly. Because I do not need his protection. "Yeah, I heard about you," Dean continued. "You're the one who uses too much teeth, right?"

At that, the demons rushed at us—one at Dean, one at Sam, and one at Kevin and me. The one who reached us stopped as he saw me. "You!" he hissed, something like fear on his face. "You're supposed to be dead!"

"That's the general consensus," I growled, dropping into a fight stance. I had to admit, I enjoyed that reaction. "Now, d'you wanna fight, or are you gonna run back to your daddy?" The demon lunged at me, and I threw my hand out, sending him flying into the wall. I advanced on him slowly, and I clenched my fist to get a better grip on my powers. The demon started coughing, and black smoke poured out of his mouth, burning into nothing as it touched the ground. The body the demon had inhabited slumped over, and I went with it, crashing painfully to my knees. Ugh, I really gotta work on that. I wiped my face, and blood came away on my hand. Nosebleed. Great.

"Gari!" Kevin yelped, coming over and grabbing my arm. "You okay? What the hell was that?"

"I-Is he alive?" I asked weakly, nodding at the vessel.

Kevin went over to check his pulse. "Yeah, he is. Did you just exorcise him with your mind?!"

"More or less." I started to climb back to my feet, and I felt strong arms lift me up. I stared up at Sam, hoping I looked at least somewhat grateful.

"Can you stand on your own?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I got it." I took a step forward once he pulled away and almost fell again. "On second thought," I said hoarsely, "maybe not." He nodded and slipped an arm around my waist, and I tried my best not to flinch away. This is better than falling, I reminded myself. Just chill the fuck out.

"Hello, boys," a deep, raspy voice drawled, and I felt Sam freeze beside me. Channing and an unfamiliar man were standing in the doorway. At the sight of the man, Sam let out something that sounded almost like a snarl and pushed me behind him. I suddenly realized that this had to be Crowley—why else would Sam be freaking out so badly? "Dean," said the demon. "You're looking…well, let's just say Purgatory didn't do you any favors. Where's your angel?"

"Ask your mother!" Dean spat.

"There's that grade-school zip," Crowley said approvingly. "Missed it. Really did." He turned to Sam then, who stepped directly in front of me. I clung to the back of his jacket for support, still feeling dizzy. "Moose. Still with the pork chops. I admire that." Moose? That's a new one. "And who's that hiding behind you? Got a new girlfriend since I killed the last one?"

Sam made that noise again, and I decided then that I wasn't going to take this. "Not exactly," I said, stepping out from behind Sam but still keeping a hold on him.

The demon's eyes widened with surprise, but he quickly masked it. "Garideth," he grinned. "Back from the dead. I'm a little curious as to how—I know neither of these morons sold their souls for you. Personally, I'd be a little offended, if I were you. You must not mean as much to them as you thought."

I didn't know someone could get as tense as Sam was in that moment, and I shot him a look, warning him not to do anything stupid. I decided to not reveal the whole amnesia thing to the demon who killed me. And, honestly, it wasn't that hard to summon up a little bit of rage for him. "Looks like I've got someone else watching out for me, then, doesn't it?" I shot back. "Some higher power out there—higher than you."

Crowley's eyes narrowed. "Yes, well, if you want something done right, do it yourself. I'll have to personally make sure it sticks next time around."

"Let Channing go!" Thankfully, Kevin spoke up at that moment, distracting Sam from his rage. I knew I couldn't have held him back if he'd tried to go after Crowley, and I didn't want him to get himself killed. Wait, what? I was surprised at my own thoughts. Since when do I care? I don't care. I don't. Let him go all kamikaze. Whatever. Still, I couldn't make myself release my hold on Sam, and he put his arm around my waist once more, holding me almost too tightly.

"That's not Channing, Kevin," Dean said. "Not anymore."

"What an awful thing to say to the boy!" Crowley admonished. "Of course it's Channing, Kev. Last time we danced, you stole my tablet and killed my men. Tell you what: come with me now—bygones. And I'll let the girl go back to…What's-the-Point U."

"He's lying," Dean insisted. "You won't get Channing back. She's probably dead already."

Crowley sighed. "Will you please stop saying that?" He turned to the demon in Channing and snapped his fingers. "Let the girl speak."

The expression on Channing's face changed from boredom to fear, and she looked around frantically until her eyes landed on Kevin. "Kevin?!" she cried, a disbelieving smile starting to form on her face.

"Channing?" Kevin said, his voice full of relief.

"W-what's going on?!"

"There's a demon in you, and you're going to your safety school!" Kevin rushed out.

Channing's eyes widened. "What?!"

"But it's gonna be okay!" he assured her.

Crowley rolled his eyes. "I-I just—I can't."

"No, no, wait!" Kevin yelled, but Crowley snapped his fingers, and Channing's eyes turned black. The Prophet's shoulders sagged with defeat. "Okay," he said quietly. "I'll do it."

"Kevin…" Sam said warningly.

"Myself for the girl," Kevin continued, ignoring Sam. "But this ends, alright? No fighting, no nothing. It ends."

"Can't let you do that, buddy," Dean said sternly.

Kevin let out a mirthless laugh. "Or what? You'll kill me?" A pang went through my heart at the hopelessness in his voice as he turned back to Crowley. "I'll grab my stuff." He walked out of the room, leaving us all glaring at each other.

"Chin up, gentlemen," Crowley said with a smirk. "I'm a professional."

"This ain't over by a long shot, Crowley!" Dean snapped.

Crowley shook his head in exasperation. "Really, Dean, who writes your stuff? A marshmallow? Come on, Kevin!" he called. "Chop, chop!" There was a long pause. "…Kevin?" He took a step forward, and Dean raised the knife in his hands. Crowley snapped his fingers and the knife glowed red hot, causing Dean to release it with a gasp of pain. "Really, boys?" he said, sounding disappointed. He continued calling Kevin's name as he walked back through the church, the demon possessing Channing following behind him.

A minute after they'd left the room, we heard Kevin shout, "Guys, run!" Sam kept a grip on my arm as we sprinted out of the church, Kevin close behind, and we piled into the Impala. Right as we started to drive away, Crowley and Channing stepped onto the church's porch. Crowley leaned over and said something to her; then demon smoke flew out of her mouth and up into the sky. Channing stared at Crowley in absolute terror for only a second before Crowley twisted his hand and her neck snapped. She collapsed to the ground, dead, as we left the church behind, and Kevin turned around in his seat, still staring out the back window in horror as though unable to tear his eyes away. "He killed her," he said, his voice hollow. "She's dead."

"Kevin, look—" Dean started, but the Prophet interrupted him.

"I don't wanna talk about it," he said shortly. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his head against the window, and he didn't speak again.

~Supernatural~Supernatural~Supernatural~

Dean's cell phone rang as we pulled up to a gas station. I still couldn't get used to the advanced technology. I was used to cheap flip phones with T9Word, not touch screens and autocorrect. "Hello?" Dean listened for a moment then said, "Wrong number." He hung up and shook his head. "Automated jackass. Alright, anybody want anything?"

"I'm good," Sam said.

"Something with sugar or caffeine," I said, "preferably both." I was still feeling drained after my little stunt back at the church, and I needed something to spike my energy levels again.

Dean nodded then looked expectantly at Kevin. The kid didn't respond, and Dean shared a worried look with Sam. "Kevin?" Sam said. "How're you holding up?"

"Awesome," Kevin said bitterly. "The King of Hell just snapped my girlfriend's neck. How about you?"

"Alright, listen to me," Dean said. "I'm sorry about your girlfriend, okay? I am. But the sooner you get this, the better: you're in it now, whether you like it or not. That means you do what you gotta do."

Dean walked toward the store then, and Kevin glared after him. "Great pep talk," he muttered. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn't know how. Being reassuring wasn't really my thing.

Sam looked back at Kevin sympathetically for a moment before turning to me. "You okay?" he asked. "Back at the church, that seemed to take a lot outta you."

"I haven't really done it enough to be totally comfortable with it yet," I said. "But I'm fine. Thanks for asking." He nodded, seeming surprised that I'd answered so nicely, and I didn't know why that bothered me. "But what about you? You almost went berserk in there. It was scary…and kinda hot."

I waited for the blush on his cheeks, but it never came. Instead, he clenched his jaw and let out a short huff. "I'm fine," he said tersely.

"D'you really expect anyone to believe that?"

"I'm gonna kill him," he promised fiercely. "Next time we see him, I'm gonna kill him."

I smirked. "I'll hold him, and you punch. Or stab, or whatever suits your fancy."

"I want in," Kevin said, startling us both. "If you're killing him, I want in."

Sam and I shared a concerned look. "Sure, kid," I said, not knowing why the ferocity and hatred in his voice upset me so much. "You got it."