Warning: this chapter contains trigger warnings for attempted rape and abuse. I do not take this topic lightly in the slightest and I am not using this is as simply a dramatic plot point. It has value to the storyline and the characters and is not there for dramatic effect. This topic is very close to me and I feel very strongly about it, and would never make light of it in any way.
The crowds in the stands are going wild as the animals race through the track, their riders hitting them ferociously. She hates the sight of it, so she doesn't look. She stares straight ahead through the people, searching for the one she needs.
Field Marshall Russell.
He's older than her, balding with a moustache. Dressed in a soldiers garb, she feels the familiar twinge in her lower abdomen - she shouldn't be doing this.
"It won't get to the point where he touches you, Dais," Arthur said. "I'll get there before that happens, I promise."
She wants to believe him, especially since he added "Cause if I don't and Tommy finds out he'll kill me. Fuck, he might kill me anyway."
He'd told her that he had told Tommy he'd managed to hook Lizzie Poole, who was now Lizzie Stark, into doing this. Arthur's eyes had fallen straight to the ground as he'd told her this because he was right - if Tommy did find out, he wouldn't be happy she was a part of this again. They'd gone their separate ways and she had been entrusted to stay away. When she had asked why Arthur hadn't gone to Lizzie, he scoffed and said, "I wouldn't trust Lizzie tying my shoes, let alone with a job this important."
The cheer of the crowds as another horse flashes across the finish line in a warm up brings her from her thoughts. She simply needs to get this man away from the crowds, and then she can go back to her home and to the girls. Josie was making them a pie this evening… Daisy smiles unconsciously; Josie is fast becoming her favourite.
She starts over towards the man guffawing loudly with his friends and puffing incessantly on a cigarette.
She pretend gasps as she puts her hand on the shoulder of the man sat beside the Field Marshal. "Mr Adams, is that you? Gosh it's been years!"
She has no idea who the man she is addressing is, but it halts their conversation and brings everyone's eyes to her.
The man smiles uncomfortably at first, but as he turns and sees her, his face changes into an expression of lust. "I'm not an Adams, but I wish I was."
She smiles flirtatiously as she lets her eyes drift across the table before landing on the man she's after. She holds her eyes to his a moment longer than is entirely appropriate and then looks back to the other larger man. "Oh I'm so sorry, I thought I knew you."
It is then that Field Marshal Russell puts his hand on her hip and turns her around. "But I know you… You're that Fleur that everyone is always discussing. I've heard about you. Although I heard you retired."
She hadn't expected her reputation to precede her… she's not sure if it'll work in her favour or not. She quickly changes tactics. "Not when there are so many men here that could satisfy me. And men I can satisfy."
She walks off then, only pausing as she rounds the corner to glance back at Russell and cock her head ever so slightly. He understands immediately, and slowly puts his cigarette out.
She turns and continues down the hallway, knowing he will be right behind her.
She hates this, she hates this, she hates this. This isn't her anymore.
She feels his hand graze across her lower back and she picks up her pace. Let's get it over with.
He turns her before she's at the place Arthur told her to go to and slams her up against the wall, sealing his mouth over hers before she can object. She tries to go along with it, but all the while her instincts are screaming get out, get out.
And she realises she should never have come.
She pulls away from him, wiping her hand across her mouth to get rid of his taste. "Stop. I can't do this."
"That's not what I've heard," he sneers, placing his hand on her thigh and moving it up higher roughly. She slaps it away hastily but his hand tightens and she knows she'll have a bruise there tomorrow.
"I said stop." She starts pushing him away hard, but he only gets angrier.
"I've heard you're a little slut who loves anything and everything if the person can pay enough. Don't worry, you'll get what you deserve."
Her heart starts to race and she wishes with all of her heart and soul that Arthur hurries up.
"Stop!" She shouts, pushing him away with all her might and then, just like Tommy had showed her when they were younger, she punches him hard in the nose.
It makes a horrible noise and he recoils in pain, giving her a chance to get away. Whatever Arthur has planned it's not worth this. She is worth more than this.
She knows she is worth more than this.
Before she can dash around the corner, he grabs her harshly by the waist and yanks her back into their little alcove. "You fucking bitch," he snarls, slapping her across the face.
Her cheek throbs, and before she can orientate herself again, he spins her around and slams her up against the wall face first, her hands locked behind her in his grasp. Another bruise to add to the list.
"Who do you think you are?" He pants into her ear as he starts pulling her dress up. She starts screaming but he uses the hand pulling her dress up to slam over her mouth. The dress is already up by her waist - he needs no more than that.
She wriggles with everything she has, sobbing into his hand and trying in any way to bite it, to use her legs to knee him, to kick him, to do anything… but she can't.
He's reduced her to a young girl again, beaten and abused by old men. She's the little girl who could take a punch from a man twice her size and still meet Tommy the next day smiling. She's the young woman who laid down on a bed and let Alfie's friend fuck her harshly for money. She's small again, broken again.
She can feel him where Tommy had been just one month ago and she hates that that is her thought - he's going to finally erase Tommy and she despises that more than anything else.
Right before he enters her, she hears a loud shout and suddenly he is gone from behind her. As she collapses to the floor in a bundle of tears, she hears a gun go off and then someone come to grab her hat from her head and yank it off. The pins pull at her hair and if she wasn't feeling so numb it would hurt. All she sees through her blur of tears is Tommy's angry blue eyes and then even they are gone.
She sees him point gun that just shot Field Marshal Russell at his brother and she vaguely registers his raised voice.
Focus, Daisy.
"You fuckin' lied to me! Her?! You got her to do this?!"
She rarely hears Tommy shout. He's so collected. He's at his scariest when he's silent. But this… this is something else. He is furious.
"Tommy…" She says, standing up and straightening her clothes out.
He turns his head slightly to her, keeping his eyes on Arthur the whole time, even though the elder brother is stood with his hands in the air.
"Why is it okay for Lizzie to do this but not me?" Her voice is quiet and it is what brings him out of the red haze he seems to be lost in.
He drops the gun and turns to face her. "Lizzie isn't you."
She smiles ruefully, her cheek aching with the effort. "I'm exactly like Lizzie, Tommy."
She walks off back down the corridor she came from, not wanting to be a part of anything they were going to do. She wanted nothing else to do with the now dead man on the ground. He was dead and she had secured a future for the girls at her house. She'd pulled through for Arthur. For Tommy. For her girls.
"Dais, wait," she hears Tommy call but she can't stop. She can't see him, talk to him, not after that. She needs a shower. She can't see him when she is this vulnerable.
"Daisy, stop!" He makes the mistake of gently grabbing her wrist to stop her but it's tender from Russell's handling of her so she winces and brings her wrist in to cradle it.
It's that gesture that makes Tommy's eyes widen and his whole face shut down.
They stand staring at each other like so many times before them.
It seems they are out of things to say.
She's confused and scared and hurt and disappointed in all the Shelby's for using any innocent girl - if it hadn't been her, it would have been Lizzie or another girl in this position - in such a cruel way.
"I am worth more than that."
Her voice is steel, leaving no room for argument. Although it appears he wasn't going to anyway.
"I know. I would never, ever, have wanted you to do that."
"Just Lizzie."
"Better her than you."
Why doesn't he understand?
"I am Lizzie, Tommy! I am her! I am every single whore out there whether you want to believe it or not."
"It shouldn't have gotten that far."
His hat is off and he's running a hand through his hair stressfully. His jaw is clenched so tight that she idly fears for his teeth.
"I know." And she does. She knows he would never have put her, or Lizzie, in that position if he hadn't thought he could get them out of it. Tommy Shelby has just realised he is not invincible. "But it did. And that's on you lot."
He huffs through his nose, his hand coming down to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe Arthur had you here. I can't believe what that motherfucker did."
He glances back as though he wants to go back and shoot him again.
"Daisy…" He takes a step towards her right as another voice calls his own name.
It's Grace.
She stands in the entryway to the room that has now emptied for the race, and she looks between the two of them confused. And then her face contorts into one of anger as she places a hand on her stomach in a gesture meant to show Daisy that nothing has changed. She means for it to say, he is still mine. He is not yours and he never will be now.
"What is she doing here, Tommy?"
When Tommy doesn't say anything and simply continues to stare at Daisy in concern, Daisy clears her throat and looks to Grace.
"I'm leaving now. I was just here for Arthur."
Grace sneers at her, a look of disgust on her face as she appraises Daisy's rumpled dress and messy hair. "After another Shelby, are you? From what I've heard, it's not out of character."
It's a comment borne out of jealousy, she knows, but it is still a blow to her emotions. She doesn't have the energy for this. Not after what has just happened.
So Daisy smiles sadly at Tommy before turning to leave.
"Daisy, wait," Tommy calls after her.
"Tommy!" Grace exclaims, angered that he would stop her.
She stops and turns to see Tommy completely ignoring Grace and instead walking slowly towards her, as though his feet are moving of their own accord.
She hears Grace huff in annoyance and storm out of the room, her hand still on her stomach.
"What are you doing, Tommy?" She asks him in a way that shows she doesn't just mean right now… she means everything. What are you doing ignoring Grace and coming to me? What are you doing killing a man and using prostitutes to get there, no matter the consequences? What are you doing?
He stops in his tracks and shakes his head slowly. "I don't know."
She wants to go to him, hold him, have him hold her and tell her it'll be okay. But she's moved beyond this now. She knows she doesn't need him anymore. She just wants him.
But she doesn't want this Tommy. The man who lets women be used so he can advance his career. The Tommy that lets his pregnant girlfriend be ignored. That isn't the man she loves.
"Then figure it out."
And the second woman in Tommy Shelby's life walks out of the room, leaving just him and the gun in his hand that is still warm to the touch.
I finished this faster than expected, so here you go - two chapters in one day! Sorry for any errors and I hope it wasn't too hard hitting.
We're staying at Epsom the next chapter! Tommy has some thinking to do and some revelations will be... revealed. (I'm all worded out, can you tell?)
As always, hope you enjoyed! Thank you so much for your lovely comments, I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you're enjoying this after all the drama and sadness I put you through, tehe
Peace and love xo