Day Three
It began with the normal complications of two people with complicated and important careers. Things at work were slightly hectic - not Almost- World -War-Three busy but busy enough. She worked late that Monday, leaving when Henry was still asleep and returning late that night. The house was silent, and despite being filled with everyone she loved, felt terribly empty. She moved in the dim light, avoiding the kitchen and the container of ice cream she'd tucked in the back of the refrigerator. It would be too easy to drown her sorrows in a pint of mocha almond fudge. Instead, she headed up the stairs, hoping that by some miracle, Henry was still awake. It seemed that it had been ages since she'd seen him.
Sunday she'd only seen him briefly, as he had been gone nearly all day. His secret job wanted him recertified - so he'd spent the day proving his mental and physical proficiency. He'd spent what would have been their one common day off in weeks requalify on the shooting range, and proving his overall physical stamina.
"Why Sunday?" She had whined.
"Uh, probably so it doesn't interfere with my 'real' job?"
"But I'm actually off!" She didn't even try to hide the disappointment in her voice.
He'd put an arm around her, brushing her forehead with a light kiss and telling her the same thing he'd said decades ago when he was an untried Marine with new orders. "Big brass don't care, Babe."
"We are big brass." She pointed out.
"Not big enough." He chuckled. "C'mon hon, it's just a day. It's not like they are sending me to the Gulf."
Which of course was true. Still it had bothered her. She was looking forward to two days with him - they'd had so much interruption and stress lately - a weekend free of obligation and crisis was an unbelievable gift.
And it wasn't as if she was helplessly dependent on him. They'd spent months apart - especially early on, but things were different now. She had grown accustomed to him being there; always. She took comfort that no matter how long or stressful her day had been - it would end with him there. She could count on him to at least tease a smile out of her. They had both come to accept that they could not discuss every detail of their day, but still that didn't mean they couldn't be there for each other. They had been so naive when she'd taken the job. Looking back at it, she couldn't believe how naive she had been! She had no idea how much responsibility she was taking on; the weight of it was heavy, and she found she needed Henry more than she could possibly have imagined; not because she was weak or incomplete without him, but rather because it was a simple truth - like gravity. When the load is heavy, two is better than one.
She had been ridiculously clinging after Iran. It was understandable, of course, but still it had embarrassed her. She couldn't quite manage being away from him. After the fallout, and things settled back to a new type of normal, she found herself battling panic attacks if she was away from him too long. She'd even called him once, from the office, trying to keep the sound of anxiety from her voice.
"What are you doing?" She'd asked, desperate to sound casual.
"Um, I was lecturing but took a little break for a phone call." His voice was tinged with concern. "I thought you had a budget meeting."
"I took, uh, a little break. I didn't see you this morning."
"It's Tuesday. I had an early staff meeting. You okay, Babe?"
"Yeah, I, uh, it's nothing. I just . . . It's stupid." She felt her face flush with embarrassment. "I'm sorry for interrupting your lecture."
"That's okay, honey." A tense silence hung between them for a brief moment. "Hey, I've got a break for a few minutes after this lecture. Why don't I come down there?"
"No, that's . . ." She swallowed hard. "That's stupid, Henry. It'll take you forty minutes and I've probably only got five minutes for you. We'll both be home in a few hours."
"Oh, I don't mind. Five minutes with you is worth it."
Tears swarmed her eyes, and she shook her head trying to fight them - hating herself for being so dependent. "Henry, I just . . ."
"Listen, Babe, it's okay." He said, emphasizing each word. "It's okay. I'll be there in about an hour, okay? And it's no big deal."
"Right." She'd said bitterly.
"Listen, I gotta finish this lecture." His voice was gentle and comforting. "I mean these kids are on the edge of their seats to find out what happens next. But after that I'll just run over and say hello."
"I suppose there is an upside to me falling completely apart." She said sighing into the phone.
"You aren't falling apart."
"Right. I'm calling you up like some nervous baby who can't manage being alone."
"Listen, I really gotta get back, but Babe, you are the strongest human I have ever known; ever. And don't forget I've been in battle. This is just you readjusting. And if I get extra minutes with you because of it, then it's not all bad. I love you, babe, and any excuse to see you works for me."
"You are such a kiss-ass." She told him with a weak laugh, but she'd had to take a full minute after she'd hung up the phone before she could go back to the meeting.
He was right, of course. In general, he usually was. She had readjusted and life settled back into normal patterns. She was able to manage time away from him without panic threatening just at the edges. But times like this, when life got too busy or she had time off and he didn't - it bothered her. It bothered her more than she remembered.
She climbed the stairs now, after a long day, hoping that he was still awake. The room was dark when she entered and she could hear his light snore. She debated briefly whether she should wake him, but once she'd undressed and climbed into the warm bed beside him, she'd fallen almost immediately asleep.
She awoke to an empty bed. It was Tuesday, and he always left early on Tuesdays. She immediately reached for her phone, and saw he'd left her a text.
I guess I fell asleep before you got home. I tried to stay awake, but maybe
grading those essays was a bad technique! I've got an evening lecture
tonight, too! Man, I miss you baby! Call me when you get a chance! I love you!
She immediately texted him back, knowing he was probably on the Metro, or at the office already. But maybe he'd have a chance to at least text her back.
Sorry, babe! We've got that trip coming up and there is entirely too many
meetings about protocol and other nonsense! Did you call that electrician
back? I never got that chance. And Ali's got that choir trip. Did you talk
to Frank? I should be able to attend - you know, unless the world falls apart.
He wanted to go over some stuff with you.
His text back was almost instantaneous.
Please, Babe, no sexting! I'm in a meeting!
She rolled her eyes at the row of laughing emojis he sent and felt guilty that she sent such a boring text. This is why she hated missing each other. They had so much ordinary crap to take care of and it was so much easier to have these conversations in person. He sent her another text.
I've got a call scheduled with Frank this afternoon. And Ali is over the moon about
you being able to make the concert. Although, she hides it with teenage
"Whatever" attitude. The electrician said it wouldn't be worth it since we are gonna
sell anyway. He recommended just disclosing that it needs to be fixed and letting
the new owners worry about it. Which sounds good to me. Did you send the
mortgage check? I can't remember. I remember talking about it, but I don't think
I sent it.
She sighed and texted back.
You sent it last week. You told me to remind you because you knew you'd forget
you'd done it. Do you have time at lunch today?
Her heart sank at his response.
No. I've got that banquet, remember? God, this sucks. I miss you. Dinner?
She scanned her schedule thoughtfully, and her heart sank looking at all the boxes filled.
No. I've got a reception! This is ridiculous!
She wanted to cry. It was only Tuesday and the week felt interminably long already.
How about a phone date? I've got 15 minutes at 11:20 and maybe 20 minutes at 3:00. And I've got a solid half hour at 4:00! I'm completely free after 6 but you aren't.
Pick a time, baby, and I'll call you up. Hell, I'll even talk dirty if you want!
She studied her schedule one more time, thinking that it was stupid to be so excited about a possible 15 minute opening.
3:00! I can spare at least 15 minutes 20 if I push it! No matter what, call me at 3:00!
She couldn't help but smile, thinking at least, she would get to hear his voice.
See! The ages of miracles has not ended! On the plus side I've got those 15 minutes
at 11:20 to think up some good things to say to you! It makes me happy to think I will
actually get to talk to you! It's college all over again. I'm thinking this whole Secretary
of State thing is an elaborate ruse to keep me on my toes!
She laughed out loud at this.
Right! The hardest part was getting Conrad on board! I better go, though. I will talk to
you later! I love you!
His response was immediate.
I love you, too, Babe! I'll talk to you later. Give 'em hell!
She felt a million times better knowing that 3:00 would be there soon, but of course, by the time 3:00 had rolled around, all hell had broken loose, and the 3:00 phone call became just one more promise she had been unable to keep.