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Chapter 44 "Finally Together"

Lily laid besides Severus, wondering where to begin. But Severus made her decision easier with a question. He shifted slightly before asking it, as if uncomfortable about the subject.

"Lily, I need to know something first."

"Anything, Sev."

"You were..pregnant." he ran a hand over her stomach and she shivered. "What happened?"

Lily rested her head on Severus; chest, listening to his heart beat. "I had a miscarriage. Right after you were taken away."

Severus didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything.

"It's okay. I'm glad, in a way. I didn't have to make a decision." Lily closed her eyes, breathing deeply. "I wouldn't have been able to love the baby like it should have been loved since..well you know."

"I should have been there for you." Severus said quietly, stroking her hair. Lily nudged her head into his hand softly; she couldn't get enough contact with him after being apart for so long.

"There was nothing you could do. Kingsley stayed with me and watched over me for a while." Lily hesitated before saying,"Kingsley..Severus, he was killed."

"What?" Severus sat up quickly, looking shocked. Lily pushed him back down, not wanting him to get worked up. Covering him back up with the sheets, she smiled sadly.

"I can't believe it." Severus said. All that Kingsley had done for them...and he wasn't even here to see Severus freed. Now Severus would never get to thank him for watching over Lily.

"Yeah. It was one of the Death Eater attacks. I went with some other Healers to clean up and treat the survivors, and I found him. There's been quite a few attacks lately. After Kingsley, I went to Dumbledore and joined the Order. I needed to do something to help. Something to make up for Kingsley's death."

"Well, you're not staying in the Order. It's too dangerous; you could get hurt." Severus said sharply and Lily frowned. "Sev, I need to help fight. The Death Eaters need to be stopped."

"It doesn't involve you. Let the others handle it." Severus said. After everything that happened, he would not let Lily get killed by a Death Eater. He would not lose her.

Lily sat up, a little perturbed, and glanced down at Severus. "It does involve me, Sev. Now more then ever. They destroyed me. They murdered Kingsley, and a few days ago...my parents."

Severus blinked. Of course; her house was destroyed. Her parents must have been there when the attack was going on and were killed. "I'm sorry...I didn't know." he said quietly.

Lily shook her head, tears forming. She was too upset to speak, so she laid back down, pressing her face into Severus' chest. The past few weeks she had tried to stop herself from breaking down, but now she just let it out. Everything that had happened when she needed Severus by her side...now he was finally here and she could feel everything crashing down on her like a suffocating wave.

Hot tears ran like rivers from her eyes, and Severus wrapped her up, hugging her tightly. She threw her arms around his neck, sobbing uncontrollably. "I missed you so much, Sev, you have no idea. Those three months were the worst time in my life. All that stuff that happened...and you weren't there either."

"I'm here now, and I will never leave again, I swear." Severus said fiercely. "Never."

"Severus," Lily raised her head, and touched his cheek. Tears were still flowing freely, dripping onto his bare, wasted chest. She didn't say anything else, simply stared at him with her mouth ajar as if she couldn't believe he was really there. He knew how she felt, because he was feeling the exact same way. He was half afraid that he would wake up and still be in Azkaban. But she was really there, flesh and blood Lily, right in front of him.

"I know." he whispered and her eyes widened, still awed that he was with her. Those three months seemed like thirty years to her and she never wanted to go through that again.

"Shh. It's okay." Severus soothed as Lily started sobbing again. He pulled her close, wrapping her up tight. Kissing her forehead, he smiled. "It's real, Lily. I'm back."

"You're back." Lily choked out, squeezing him so tight he thought he was going to suffocate. They lay in silence, enjoying the moment, and indeed, it was the best moment either had experienced for three months.

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