I don't own Harry Potter.

Thank you for reviews last chapter: sevispamprinyoualways, marietta, Lily Pond, Althea27, WiseOwl.21, KidouSeverus, Raven Lockwood, Saint snape, amar 2, MidoriKiwi

I hope you all are still following the story...it's been almost a year since I updated! I couldn't believe it. time just flies! I'm so sorry it took so long.

Chapter 49 "The Day After"

Lily rolled over sleepily in bed, and feeling no warmth beside her, shot straight up. Severus' side was indeed empty. She got out of bed, padding across the floor in bare feet.

"Sev?" she called softly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The morning sun seemed way too happy for her and she glared at the window. Her heart was still dark from the conversation they had the previous night about Severus joining the order.

Briefly wondering if he had perhaps left to do just that, Lily called out again just in case he was still here. "Severus?"

A warm hand was pressed against her neck, and she gasped and pulled away. Her heart pounded as she turned.

"Lily?" Severus was frowning at her, looking concerned at her reaction to his touch.

"Sorry." she mumbled. "You just surprised me."

Severus took a step closer, pulling her into an embrace. Nuzzling into his shoulder she sighed. She could never get enough of Severus, not after everything they had gone through to be together.

Severus ran a hand through her hair and kissed her forehead lightly.

"I was going to go to Dumbledore today." he said quietly. "I want to do this, Lily. Please don't be upset."

Lily squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw. Severus was just as stubborn as she was; she knew that he wouldn't budge. There was nothing she could do to stop him. The plain awful truth was that he was doing it for her. Always for her. well, if you couldn't beat them, join them.

"I'll go with you. I want to check on Remus anyway." she pulled away from him gently and patted his arm. "He'll need someone now."

Severus regarded her strangely. there was no arguement against him joining the Order? Last night Lily had been so set against it. She went back to the bedroom and started stripping off her pajamas to change into someting more appropriate. He stared at her smooth skin as more and more of it was revealed.

Lily had her back to Severus, but she knew he was watching her. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she continued stripping, this time with more deliberate motions; they never did get to finish having fun last night.

Severus gaped as Lily strutted across the room, completely naked, to the closet to get fresh clothes. Flipping her hair dramatically over her shoulder and batting her lashes, she looked back at Severus.

"Pervert." she hissed in mock horror, quickly snatching a shirt from the closet to cover herself. "Stop watching me."

Severus reddened and Lily giggled. "Just kidding. C'mon and get dressed so we can go."

Severus made his way to the closet to pick out his own clothes, and Lily tugged at his collar with fire in her eyes.

"Need help with that?" her fingertips brushed his neck, and he shivered, feeling his knees growing weak. "Well too bad, because I have to go brush my teeth. I'll help you later if you want."

Snatching a pair of pants from the closet, she stalked from the room, her slender legs peeking out from the long shirt she was wearing.

Severus stared after her, awed by how beautiful she was. The sounds of her spitting and gargling in the bathroom did nothing to destroy that image. Smiling to himself, he reached for some clean robes in the closet and wondered if this teasing was a ploy to distract him from joining the Order.

Lily was dressed and waiting for him outside the shop, twirling her hair absently between her fingers. Severus snuck up behind her, gripping her tightly on either side of her waist.

Lily jumped again, but knew who it was without turning around. Severus pushed his face into the crook of her neck and kissed the skin there softly.

"Hey, how come it takes you longer to get ready then me?" Lily joked as Severus let go of her waist and took her hand instead.

"Because I actually care about my appearance."

Scowling, Lily smacked him on the shoulder good-naturedly. "Maybe you can help me fix that later. You can take everything off and find something more suitable for me to wear."

Severus pressed his lips to her ear and whispered, "Something more suitable? I prefer you without anything on."

Leaning up with a smirk, he tugged her forward a bit so they had room to Apparate without being so close to the shop. After last night, all he wanted was to be with Lily in bed again. Of course Longbottom's appearance ruined their moment, but hopefully it would happen again soon.

Lily was watching Severus now with a a hard-to-read expression on her face. The banter between them was great, but perhaps she was just playing along so she didn't have to think about where they were actually going. There were no good feelings in her heart about Severus joining the Order.

"We should leave." Lily let go of Severus' hand suddenly. "Meet you in Hogsmeade."

Spinning on the spot, Lily disappeared as Severus reached out for her. Curling his fingers in the air where Lily's hand had just vanished from, he blinked. Something had happened, he had seen it in Lily's green eyes. They had grown darker and sadder in a split second.

Letting his arm fall back to his side, he sighed quietly. He knew why. He should have known better then to think Lily would just let him join the Order without any arguement. She was trying though, and perhaps she didn't even know she was doing it.

Severus closed his eyes, assured himself that he could not let Lily fight alone in this horrific battle against the Dark, and spun on the spot. In the next second, his black robes swirled in the breeze and then he was gone.

Severus opened his eyes, raising a hand to shield them from the blinding morning sun, and glanced around Hogsmeade for Lily.

She was standing in front of Honeydukes, a few shops down from where he was, waiting for him.

Walking toward her, he looked at the shops, receiving a sharp twinge as a painful memory hit him. For the most part on the Hogsmeade field trips in his days at Hogwarts, nobody bothered him. The students were all too preoccupied with shopping to notice him slinking around in the shadows of the allies. He hated being in the crowds of students so he took little shortcuts all through Hogsmeade.

Usually it worked out well for him. But one day it didn't, and he had wished he had been in a crowd of people.

James and his cronies, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, popped out in front of him while he walked through an alley between a quill shop and Zonkos. Remus followed behind them, looking wary.

"Oy, Snivellus." Black called, and Severus whipped his head up. He had it bowed against the rain that was getting heavier by the minute and had not noticed the figures in front of him until he was upon them.

Gripping his old cloak tighter around himself, he took a step back.

"Can't get away." Pettigrew cackled as Severus turned to run.

All of the Mauraders, except for Remus, moved in unison to rush at Severus. James tackled him to the ground and Black grabbed one arm while Pettigrew grabbed the other. James got up, and Pettigrew and Black hauled Severus to his feet, pushing him against the cold brick wall.

"Guys, c'mon." Remus stepped forward. "We were going to go into Zonko's."

The three ignored him, and kept their attention on Severus.

"I saw you walking with Lily today in the halls." James whispered quietly. His voice was cold and hard, and Severus was scared. "Haven't I warned you to stay away from her?"

"I'm not doing anything to her. We were just talking-" Severus started to defend himself vailantly, but James raised a fist and smashed it hard into the side of Severus' face.

His head knocked into the wall behind him, and it felt like his brains were rattling around in his skull. While Severus was stunned, James searched his pockets for his wand and pulled it out, throwing it off to the side of the alley.

"More like brainwashing her with your dark spells." Black muttered.

"I don't understand, after all warnings, you keep disobeying me." James raised his eyes to Severus, and they bored in, hot and angry.

Although Severus was terrified, there was a spark of defiance underneath the fear. James couldn't control him, and that annoyed the shit out of him. Severus was the one person that wouldn't take orders from him. He had warned the slimy git before about Lily and Severus still ignored him. Maybe it was time to just end it once and for all.

James must have sensed this defiance, because he stepped back and tilted his head, regarding Severus strangely. "You think you're so smart, you little hook-nosed greaseball?"

Severus struggled against Black and Pettigrew. There was something coming, something bad. He could see it in James' eyes.

"Well, you're not. Nobody likes you, you're a worthless piece of shit and everybody knows it." James smirked evilly. "I bet no one would even notice if you didn't show up one day."

Black was watching James with awe in his eyes, waiting to see what his friend was going to do. Remus started to speak, but Pettigrew squeaked, his voice high with excitement, "Shut up, Remus. No one wants to hear it."

Remus frowed and closed his mouth, taking a step back. He looked like he was about to throw up.

"Hold his arms behind his back." James ordered, and his followers did so. Waving his wand, James mumbled a spell under his breath and thick leather straps flew from his wand to entwine themselves around Severus' wrists. James twirled his wand again and more straps came out and made their way around Severus' ankles.

Black and Pettigrew released him, and he fell to the ground into a muddy puddle.

"On the ground at my feet where you belong" James hissed.

Severus tried to scramble away, but he kept slipping in the mud. The Marauders laughed as he did so.

James leaned against the wall and pointed to Severus. "Strip him."

Black and Pettigrew bent to do as they were ordered. Since Severus' wrists were bound and they couldn't pull the robes off, Black used a slicing spell to remove them. He slipped with the wand, and the spell grazed Severus' forearm.

A deep gash appeared and blood ran from it onto the ground, mingling with the mud. Severus bit his lip to prevent himself from crying out.

Black smirked, and Severus wondered if he had done it on purpose. The two continued, until all of Severus' clothes were in a shredded pile beside them.

Severus shivered in the cold rain, and curled up in a ball in his mud puddle. James snickered.

"So, Snivellus...what do you think Lily would ever want with this?" James gestured toward Severus' pale skinny form. "Not very pleasing."

"At least he's got a decent size dick. But that's pretty much the only thing going for him." Black put in, pointing to Severus' crotch.

"James...let's go. We're going to get into trouble." Remus said loudly from behind them. James turned on an instant and glared at him so that he shrank back.

"We're trying to have some fun, Moony. If you don't want to, fine but don't ruin it for us." Raising his wand he glanced back to Severus. "Now where were we?"

"Hey! What are you doing?" a female voice rang through the alley and echoed off the brick walls. James didn't even turn to look to see who it was; he ran in the direction Severus had come from, and his Mauraders followed after him.

Severus tried to sit up, but he couldn't push himself up with his hands tied. His hands were actually starting to feel numb; the straps were quite tight around his wrists.

There was a figure standing above him, a young woman. Bending down, she inspected his bindings, and then touched the tip of her wand to them to sever them.

Severus sat up quickly, grabbing his robes to cover his groin. He felt himself reddening as the woman watched him with pity.

"Are you alright? Let me take you inside, get you warmed up-" she offered, sticcking a hand out to help him up.

He ignored her hand and scrambled across the alley to grab his wand instead. He was grateful to the woman for helping him, but he needed to be alone now. Comfort and warmth were something he could never have and never would have, so why kid himself?

Touching his wand to his robes, he muttered, "Repairo." most of the tears were gone, but it wasn't perfect. He hurriedly pulled them over his head, keeping his back to her, and tugged his boxers and pants back on underneath them.

"Kid, c'mon you don't look so good, we should get you inside." The woman grabbed for him with more determination now, but he sidestepped and jogged toward the exit of the alley way out into Hogsmeade.

He almost bumped into someone, and the group of students around her squealed. "It's Snivelly! Watch out. He almost touched you."

Severus' arm gave a twinge as one of the girls pushed him away. Stumbling, he almost fell to the ground but managed to steady himself and keep his balance.

Dodging through the crowds of students, he felt a burning in the back of his throat. Part of him wished that the Mauraders had commenced with whatever they were going to do- maybe they would have finally killed him and put him out of his misery. Quickening his pace, he felt the tears rising and could not choke them back any longer.

They clouded his vision and he took a misstep, tripping over a rock and falling face first into another puddle. He struggled to get up, and suddenly there was a warm hand on his arm helping him.

When he was upright again, the hand still remained on his arm. He thought it might be the woman from the alley, but he was wrong.

"Sev..are you alright?" Severus' heart dropped..it was Lily.

He made to pull away but the red haired girl hung on with determination. She glanced at his face and saw the tears in his eyes and on his cheeks, even underneath all the raindrops.

Immediately he felt those soft fingers brush his cheek, tracing the lines of tears.

"What happened?" Her eyes were wide with concern, and Severus just couldn't look at them anymore. He gave a hard tug and pulled away.

"Nothing. I'm fine." he continued on his way, Lily's hand out stretched after him. He couldn't let her see how weak and worthless he really was.

Severus pulled himself out of the memory with a shiver. Those times were long gone, and it wasn't something that he wanted to dwell on. He hadn't been back to the Hogsmeade, or the Castle since his graduation. Briefly he wondered what memories would assault him as he walked the corridors of Hogwarts, the main scene of all the tortures he had had to endure under Marauder rule.

"Sev?" Lily's hand was on his arm, and she was frowning with concern. "Are you alright?"

Unlike in his memory, he did not pull away. But he also did not tell Lily about what he just relived in his mind

Severus gave a noncomittal shrug. He didn't want to talk about the Marauders or his days at Hogwarts. They were painful memories best left behind. Snaking an arm around Lily's waist and holding her close, he said quietly, "Come on."

Lily eyed him worriedly, but did not press him. Severus was still gripping her tight, as though using her to keep himself grounded.

Severus kept her close as they walked, to remind himself that she was really there with him and the memories were in the past.

People were out and starting to mulll around the village, shopping and running errands. Severus and Lily made their way up through Hogsmeade to the gates of Hogwarts, dodging a woman who was practically running past yelling, "Bloody hell I forgot the sausages!"

Lily giggled and Severus' heart lightened to hear the beautiful sound. It felt nice to be out with Lily, even under the circumstances. They started up the path that led to the school, hand in hand.

Soon the iron gates that guarded the Castle loomed ahead of them, an odd shimmer around them. When they reached the gates, Severus stuck out a hand to touch them, but it was like an invisible force field was shielding it.

"That's right..didn't Dumbledore put extra protection around the school since the Death Eaters have been more active?" Severus questioned. "How did you get into the school when you came with Remus?"

"Professor Mcgonagall met us and let us in...I forgot all about the magical barrier." Lily looked annoyed with herself. "Maybe we can go back to the village and send an owl up the castle?"

Severus was about to reply that that sounded like a great idea, but someone beat him to it.

"There will be no need for that, Miss Evans."

They both jumped and whipped around, Severus holding tightly onto Lily's arm to pull her back from danger if need be.

The figure that stood there had a long snowy white beard and flowing purple robes. He raised an eyebrow over his half-moon spectacles. "I can simply let you in, if you wish."

"Hello, Headmaster." Lily smiled at the old man. "You have perfect timing."

"I was simply in the right place at the right time," Dumbledore chuckled. "I suppose you are here to see Remus?"

"Yes, and Severus wanted to talk to you as well." Lily glanced at her fiance. "He wants to join the Order, sir."

Dumbledore contemplated Severus, and the man squirmed under the blue x-ray gaze. It felt like it was piercing right through him.

"He heard that I was involved and now he wants to join as well." Lily continued, and there was a slight bitterness to her tone.

"Well then, Severus, welcome aboard."

severus blinked. That was it? No kind of tests or questions to make sure you were qualified?

"Yes, your simple desire to join because Lily is a member is a good enough reason to partake in the fight." Dumbledore regarded him with a smile. " Always protecting the ones you love is why we are doing ths, after all. So people can live with the ones they love without fear of Voldemort and his Death Eaters."

Lily looked at Severus with love in her eyes. She touched his face gently and said, "Yes. He's always protecting me."

Black eyes met green and Severus said softly, "I just want to help win the war so we can be happy again. These people have caused enough suffering and it needs to stop."

Although the statement was meant for Dumbledore it sounded like it was directed at Lily. The truth was, she didn't want Severus to put himself in danger. But whatever happened, they would be side-by-side fighting together for the same cause.

"Well put, Severus." Dumbledore bowed his head in agreement. Silence fell over the three, but it was not an uncomfortable one; it was more of a contemplative one, thoughts of a future void of Death Eaters and Voldemort.

Dumbledore clapped his hands together suddenly, breaking the silence. "So..now that we have that settled..do you want to see Remus?"

Lily nodded eagerly; she knew Remus was probably still feeling miserable after last night and she wanted to cheer him up.

Dumbledore turned his attention to the gates and pressed the tip of his wand to the barrier. He remained motionless with his eyes closed for several minutes. Severus shifted uncomfortably, trying not to make any noise and break Dumbledore's concentration. Lily bit her lip to try and stop herself from laughing at the odd sight.

Finally after what seemed like a lifetime, Dumbledore opened his eyes and stuffed his wand back into his robes.

"Let us go see Remus, then."

Lily linked her arm with Severus' as they followed Dumbledore across the grounds, the morning dew on the grass wetting their feet. Instead of heading to the castle, Dumbledore led them to the ancient Whomping Willow, whose branches reached up toward the sky.

Severus gave Lily a questioning glance and she said, "There's a secret place for him to transform underneath the tree. He used it when he was going to school here as well."

The tree started flailing as the three came closer, and Dumbledore pulled out his wand.

"Stupify." Dumbledore shot a jet of red light toward a knot near the base of the tree, and it froze immediately. He said, "I will bring Remus up; you may wait here."

Before Lily could nod "Yes" Dumbledore had crouched down and was halfway down the hole in the trunk of the tree.

"Quite agile, isn't he?" Lily laughed as Severus stared at the spot Dumbledore had disappeared from.

"Yes, very."

Lily plopped down onto the grass, pulling a reluctant Severus down with her. Staring up at the blue sky, she sighed. "It feels like I went back in time, and I'm out on the grounds studying with my friends."

She moved her head so it was resting on Severus chest; she could hear his heart beating rapidly underneath his clothing and she frowned.

"Sev, what's the matter?"

"You may find these grounds beautiful and relaxing, but they were just another place for the Marauders to torture me without the teachers seeing. You don't know how many times I found myself in this position, staring up at the sky and waiting for the 'prank' to end." Severus said bitterly. He didn't mean to spoil it for Lily, but he really had no love for this school. It was just a source of painful memories for him. His life had gotten favorably better after he had graduated and left this horrid place.

"Sorry." Lily leaned up to kiss his jaw. All those years ago..she had never realzed how terrible the Mauraders were to Severus. Or perhaps she did, but she just didn't want to believe it. "Too bad we don't have time to make good memories for you here."

She smiled at him; she had meant it as a joke but it had come out sadder then that. "Sev..I really wish I could go back and redo it all."

Severus stroked Lily's hair and stared up at the sky, thinking. What would have it been like if Lily had gone out with him at Hogwarts? "James probably would have killed me."

Lily propped herself up on Severus' chest and looked down at him, her hair puffed out around her like a raging fire. "I would't have let him. I would have hexed him until he left us alone."

"We could have gone on Hogsmeade trips together. I would have brought you to Honeydukes, gotten you anything you wanted-" Severus started, a bit dreamily as though he was really living in this fantasy-past.

"Then I could have brought you to the Three Broomsticks and bought you a buttebeer." Lily cut in, playing along.

Severus smiled up at her, and her eyes twinkled slyly.

"Afterwards, we could have came back and made out behind the green houses. It would have been the perfect day." she leaned down, touching her lips gently to his.

"It already is the perfect day, just being here with you now," he whispered against her lips.

"Same here." Lily nuzzled into his neck, realizing again how lucky she was that Severus had not abandoned her after everything that happened. He had come back for her even after she had pushed him aside. "I love you, Severus. I wish we could have those years back so I could have been with you then, but I'm not complaining because it still ended the same. We're together now."

Severus hugged Lily and kissed the top of her head. He was starting to feel more light-hearted about this place already.

A sudden scuffling noise made them both sit up quickly, and they gazed at the entrance of the Whomping Willow . An old wrinkled hand appeared, reaching up from the ground. It was followed by an arm, and then the rest of Dumbledore's body.

Lily had hurried over to help Dumbledore right himself, but there was no need. He climbed out of the hole and straightened like a much younger man.

When he was out of the Whomping Willow, another pair of hands rose from the tree base, grabbing onto the trunk. A moment later Remus became visible, pulling himself up with much more difficulty then Dumbledore had.

Lily rushed to his side immediately, grabbing onto his arm to steady him. There were deep circles under his bloodshot eyes, and numerous cuts and scrapes on his arms and face.

"Lily," Remus looked surprised to see her, but grateful. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were alright after last night." Lily tenderly wiped a smudge of dried blood from his cheek. "Why don't we go to your room, I can make you some tea-"

The caring touch and offer of comfort warmed Remus up from the inside. Even after all the kindness Lily had shown him, he was still surprised by it every time. Remus suddenly grasped her tightly and held her close, buring his face in her shoulder.

"Thank you, Lily."

Dumbledore smiled at the embrace, and turned to Severus. "I think I will leave you three now. I have other matters to attend to."

He patted Severus' arm. "I will see you soon, Severus, at the next meeting."

Severus turned his eyes back to Lily and Remus, and in that split second, Dumbledore was gone. It gave Severus a start and he wondered briefly how the old man did it.

"Oh, Remus." Lily patted the man on the back gently and pain flooded her heart. She couldn't believe that people were so mean to Remus and for what? this simple gesture of kindness had sent him over the edge, she could feel it. She knew he was close to breaking down; he was probably especially vunerable after last night . "Come on. Let's go inside and get you cleaned up, huh?"

Remus nodded, pulling away from Lily and sighing deeply to compose himself. "Yeah. Let's go." He started across the grounds, his tattered robes billowing out behind him.

Lily smiled at Severus and took his hand. "I hope this doesn't bother you."

"What?"

"Me with Remus, like this." she leaned into him as they followed Remus.

"No," Severus said quickly, and Lily caught the jealosy in that single word. Lily gave him a stern look, and he reddened.

"You should know better, Severus Snape." Stopping, she turned to face him. "You are the only one I will ever love like this."

She snaked her hand around the nape of his neck, pulling him closer for a kiss. The truth of those words were echoed in the kiss...passion so deep it could never be explained with words.

"My heart will always belong to you."

Severus hugged Lily to him, and he didn't let go until she said with humor in her voice, "Sev, Remus is already at the castle."

She pulled away from him and sprinted across the grounds. Blinking, Severus watched her with surprise, and then shot off after her.

Her hair flew back as she ran like a fiery waterfall, and he focused on that as he neared her. Pouncing through the air like a cat to gain a few extra feet, he tackled her gently to the ground. Laughing, Lily fell into the grass and rolled over as Severus tried to grab her.

"There will be time for games later," she whispered seductively, and stood, reaching a hand out to help him up.

Chills ran down his spine as she gave him a quirky smile, and then ran to the castle steps to join Remus.

I hope you liked it...it was really hard to get writing again. I kind of lost my muse but once I jumped in, I was able to write again.