Ch. 3 : Bittersweet Remembrance

She doesn't really understand me.

That's what I think as I see the legal documents, in the crisp folder, with the authoritative stamp on them.

You don't really understand that you'll never get rid of me.

It's not just about the kids although of course, you're crazy if you think I'm letting them go. Henry will run Bass industries one day, Belle will help. She is, after all, my princess and will help run my empire for me when I'm too old to do it. Henry will make sure no one ever gets the best of her- - and even if she's ever half of you- Belle won't need anyone's help. Not even her big brother's.
My children will carry on our legacy- but that is not what this is about. This is about you and me and everything it cost to get us here.

Do you remember? Yourself in that Grecian wedding dress? That Greek goddess headdress tucked over your dark curls? Do you remember me, dashing down the Met steps to claim you, my bride? Do you remember our kiss? That promise of forever sealed by a kiss.
The police were coming to get me. It was a rush of a wedding, a blur but later you told me it was perfect.

I wore white, to match you like always. We've always matched, even when we were just scheming friends. You used to shop for me, remember? Don't you remember Blair?

I search your expressionless doe eyes and see that you do. You do remember. You remember so much yet chose to talk about so little. Why must you run from me Blair? Don't you know I'll always get you in the end?

You made my daughter cry. Our daughter cry. When Belle cries it breaks my heart neatly in two. I know you'll say this is my fault, that I'm to blame for this but really, it's all yours. How can you not know, Blair that I'd die trying to win you over?

Even after all these years. This much you must know.

Belle cries herself to sleep. Henry mumbles that he wants me back. Our children are confused; they don't understand why mommy is running away. I never took you for a coward Blair. Is this really, what we've come down to?

It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.

Don't do this to me.

This is what we like. The game.

Don't punish me like this.

I'm at your doorstep, unshaven and wild eyed, I throw those filthy documents at the floor and push past you.

"Chuck!" You gasp, stunned as I make my way to the crib.

Belle is learning to stand now. She holds the edges of the crib with two tiny fists. Her pink cheeks dimple into a fresh smile as she sees me.

"Dada!" she gurgles. You forgot Blair, that this was her first word.

I rush to pick up my baby, she's mine, and you were mine too Blair, in case you forgot that. Are, because I'm never signing those papers.

"Chuck, this isn't the time to-"

"Don't tell me when is the right time for me to meet my daughter," I snarl at you, barely above a hiss. I soothingly rub Belle's back. She happily hides into my arms.

"Don't you understand? Don't you understand I can't live without you three? Why don't you understand?"

Your eyes soften. They're so brown. Like liquor wrapped into chocolates. Like whiskey running across marble. They're my whole world and when they melt for me, my heart stops. Melt for me Blair.

But then I realise what I see in your eyes. It's pity.

"Learn," you advice sagely. "Learn to live without me."

And you walk away, leaving me alone with our beautiful baby and a bitterly broken heart, both things which we made together.