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3. The Story's Influence

He sat by her bedside for the rest of the night, watching her sleep and thinking about his life and hers. She was beautiful when she slept, her raven curls fanned out across her pillow and her face peaceful.

In all the ten years he had been rebelling against his parents, he had never once thought of the Vinkun people. In his mind, he had basically seen them as a panel of stern judges watching his every move and chiding him for everything he supposedly did wrong. He had never thought of the more unfortunate ones – the ones he could help if he were to become their king. He had only seen the duties and the obligations – the burden – and not the opportunities, the ways in which he could make good.

He had started sleeping with random girls when he was a little older than Elphaba was now, probably about twenty, and he hadn't thought twice about them, either. He'd never imagined that they might not like being used to keep his bed warm and then being cast aside for prettier or more interesting ones. He'd never gone to a brothel and wondered about the life of the girl lying in bed with him – about if she had a family, or what her childhood had been like, or if she was doing her job willingly or out of pure necessity. A feeling of shame suddenly washed over him, so strong that it nearly knocked the wind out of him, and he buried his face in his hands. What kind of horrible person had he been?

He didn't know what he should do now. Just because he recognised that his behaviour had been out of line, didn't mean he would – or even could – instantly change it. He'd been acting this way for so long – was he just supposed to apologise to everyone and happily act like an adult now? Commit himself to a stable relationship and obediently learn about being king? The mere thought made his hackles rise. He wasn't cut out for that sort of thing. Sometimes he thought he wasn't cut out for anything. Spoilt or not, he knew he hardly had any skills – his own insecurity was also a part of the reason why he had started misbehaving, despite his cocky attitude.

He ended up falling asleep in the chair and didn't wake until there was a knock on the door. "I do apologise, Your Highness, but I'm afraid I must ask you to leave," Madame Morrible called through the door. "It's three in the morning."

In the bed, Elphaba had shot up wide-eyed, only to cringe at a stab of pain. Fiyero gave her a sympathetic look as he called back, "I'll be right out, Madame!"

The green girl followed him with her eyes as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off, crumpling it into a ball to make it look rumpled and then buttoning it back up again with the buttons all askew. He mussed his own hair with his fingers and flashed Elphaba a grin. "How do I look?" he asked her in a whisper.

"Like you've had a rough night," she replied equally quietly, smiling, and he chuckled.

"Good." He picked up his coat. "Thank you for tonight, Emerald," he said in a louder voice. "You can be sure to expect me back sometime soon. I had a great time."

Elphaba tilted her head a little to the side, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. "I'm glad you had fun," she purred.

He winked at her and then opened the door. Madame Morrible was waiting outside and he gave her a sheepish grin. "I do apologise, Madame," he said. "I'm afraid I got a little carried away."

"That is quite all right, Your Highness," she assured him, casting a glance into the room. Luckily Elphaba, with her hair tangled from sleeping and the blankets drawn up to her chin, looked just as much like they'd had a wild night as Fiyero himself did. "You were rather generous with your payment, after all. We do manage closing hours, though – to give my girls some rest, you see."

"Of course," he replied smoothly. "I suppose I will just come back some other time, then. Thank you for everything, Madame, and good night to you. And to you as well," he added to Elphaba, blowing her a kiss. With that, he swaggered down the hallway and back down the stairs, out of the building and into the streets.

Everything was dark when Fiyero slipped through the back door of his grandparents' farm at half past three in the morning, quietly making his way over to his room; but when he moved through the hallway and passed the open door to the living room, he froze.

There, with a small light burning on the table, sat his grandfather.

Their eyes met – two pairs of azure blue eyes – and Kevon said calmly, "Hello, Fiyero. I think we need to talk."

Fiyero swallowed.

Galinda tilted her head a little to the side, studying her friend through narrowed eyes. "You look far too happy for someone in your predicament," she said, thankfully keeping her voice down. "I know there was a man with you last night. Was it not as bad as you had expected it to be? I was afraid the fact that you're still in so much pain would make it a terrible experience, but you look happy and so does Madame Morrible. What happened?"

"There was a man," Elphaba confirmed quietly as the two of them walked to a table in the corner with their breakfast. "But he... he didn't do anything." She flushed. "I mean... I asked him not to. I sort of begged him, actually." She groaned as she sat down and buried her face in her hands. "I'm embarrassed to death about my behaviour last night, but I just... I couldn't. I was still in so much pain..."

"So you asked him to leave you alone, and he did?" Galinda asked in amazement and Elphaba nodded.

"Not just that," she said, tearing a small piece off her bread. "He promised me he wouldn't tell Madame Morrible anything. He paid for me – not just for the hour he originally wanted me, but for the whole night, to ensure no-one else would bother me. He had food brought up for me and then made me go to sleep. He only napped in the chair for a few hours."

Galinda's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. "That must have been some man. Most are just uncivilised swine." She sniffed daintily, making Elphaba chuckle. "You really didn't do anything at all?"

Elphaba shook her head. "We just talked," she said. "He... he wanted to know why, you know... why I didn't want anything to happen. I figured I owed him an explanation," she admitted. "And he asked about my life..."

"He sounds dreamy." Galinda sighed happily, digging into her food. "Do you suppose he's rich?" she asked, her mouth full. "He must be, right, if he can afford you for an entire night? Maybe he likes you. Maybe you two will fall in love and he'll get you out of here to ride off into the sunset together. Do you think he'd be okay with taking me along if that is the case?"

Elphaba laughed softly. "You know that if I ever do manage to get out of this hell hole, I'll do it with you, Glin," she said, making Galinda beam at her. "But even aside from the fact that Morrible won't let us go for the next six years or so, it's not like that at all. I don't even know his name."

Galinda looked shocked. "You don't?"

The dark-haired girl shrugged helplessly. "I was in pain, Galinda, and I was either asleep or completely stunned at his actions most of the time last night," she said. "It just... didn't cross my mind." Her cheeks darkened again. "Oz, that was rude of me, wasn't it? He did so much for me and I didn't even ask him his name!"

"It was a little rude, Elphie," Galinda told her friend matter-of-factly, taking another bite. "Perhaps he will be back tonight."

Elphaba's face fell. "Is it bad of me to say that I hope he will?" she asked timidly. "I mean... I'm feeling better today, but not that good. I don't want..." She trailed off and shook her head. "Well, I don't suppose I have much of a choice, do I?"

"Oh, Elphie..." Galinda reached out to cover the green girl's hand with her own. "Have some hot soup for dinner," she advised her. "That might help with the cramps. I have a hot water pitch – I'll heat it up for you and you can keep it on your abdomen just before you start work tonight, so hopefully the pain will be minimal. Make sure to sleep a lot today, all right, and drink lots of water. I wish I could offer you something for the pain, but... well, you know." Madame Morrible refused to let the girls have any kind of medication, claiming it was too expensive and bad for their health. In extreme cases such as Elphaba's, she allowed them the tiniest bit of pain medication, but that was all; and she had cut Elphaba off the pills the day before already.

"Thanks, Galinda," said Elphaba, heaving a sigh. "I just hope it won't be too bad." She quirked a wry smile. "I suppose I must be grateful to still be here at all."

And she was. Procedures like the one she had endured were quite dangerous; the risk of infection was high and there were plenty of other things that could go wrong. Half of the girls going through such a procedure either got very sick or didn't make it, so Elphaba supposed she really was lucky to only have some bad cramps and soreness – especially since she'd heard that one of Madame Morrible's girls had died of infection after undergoing the same procedure a couple of years before Elphaba came to The Hidden Depths.

Elphaba didn't feel lucky, though. She felt empty. Not for the first time, she caught herself touching her abdomen with her hand and she quickly pulled it away. She could never have had the baby. How would she have taken care of it if she wasn't even able to take care of herself? She wasn't sure she wanted to put a child into this wretched world, anyway. Even if Madame Morrible hadn't made her do this, she told herself she still would have done it – for the baby's sake as much as for her own.

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. And not just in the physical sense.

"Hey, Elphaba."

She looked up, only to find some of the other girls standing next to her table – the ones known as Sapphire, Jade, and Onyx, although she knew their real names were Lulu, Delani, and Shenshen.

"We just wanted to see how you were doing," said Sapphire – Lulu. She was a very quiet and withdrawn girl who didn't easily make friends, but she'd somehow taken a liking to Elphaba from the start. Perhaps it was because Elphaba was an outcast as well. Delani's presence didn't surprise Elphaba, since she was, aside from the green girl, Lulu's only real friend and she wasn't nearly as superficial as most of the other girls.

The fact that Shenshen was here, however, nervously twirling a strand of black hair around her finger, did unnerve Elphaba a little. Shenshen could usually be found with Ruby and Crystal – or Pfannee and Milla, as their real names were – and neither of those two had ever bothered to look past Elphaba's skin colour. They resented her for being popular with men because of her "exotic" appearance and they usually bullied her in some way, calling her names or simply ignoring her completely.

"I'm okay," said Elphaba, looking up at Lulu and Delani, but avoiding Shenshen's gaze. "I mean, I've been better, but I'm not doing too badly, I suppose."

Lulu and Delani both smiled at her. "If we can help you somehow, let us know," said Delani.

Lulu nodded in agreement and Elphaba said simply, "Thank you."

They left then, but Shenshen lingered, glancing at Galinda and then back at Elphaba a few times. Finally, she took a breath and confessed, "I know what you're going through."

Elphaba blinked at her.

Galinda inhaled sharply, catching on faster than her friend. "You...?"

"Yes." Shenshen nodded, not meeting either of their gazes. "When I was seventeen – not too long before you first came here, Elphaba." She hesitated. "I guess I just wanted to say that... well, I know how it feels and it's not... not good to go through that alone. I know you have Galinda, and probably Lulu, too, but... well, if you want to... I don't know. Talk about it with someone who knows what it's like, I guess..."

"...I'll know where to find you," Elphaba finished. She managed a small smile. "Thank you, Shenshen. For telling me, too."

The dark-skinned girl shrugged. "It's not easy," she said. "It hurts, in more ways than one. I remember feeling empty, angry, and sad... and I felt violated, somehow, which is a stupid thing to feel when you do… well, what we do… on a daily basis, but I did. I didn't want it taken away," she confessed, lowering her gaze. "If I'd had a choice, I would have kept the baby... if Madame Morrible didn't force me to undergo the procedure, if I'd been able to provide for the child, if I thought there was any hope at all for him or her."

"But there wasn't," said Elphaba, biting her lip. "Was there?"

Shenshen shook her head. "No," she said. "Not for babies born to people like us. Not while we're still here, doing this. But someday," she said, her dark eyes determined, "someday I'm going to have a child of my own, whom I am going to raise the best I can. I'm going to be a good mother when the time comes and so will you, Elphaba. It gets better. I can promise you that."

Elphaba nodded, a lump in her throat; and Shenshen flashed her a final small smile before turning around and leaving.