Summary :They both learn that a war bent on destruction also created beginnings.
*Set during the Fourth Shinobi War
Sakura squinted the moment Kakashi was introduced as the commander of the third division. Not out of disbelief, but from straining to make out his blurry figure with the rest of the military commanders standing high up on the stone summit. The leaders looked down below at the whole Allied Shinobi Force—an alliance, they said, to be a vast military strength unlike any in history. Vast, she eventually learned was a much different thing experienced first hand.
Engulfing. Staggering.
Her tiny frame felt immensely smaller standing there amongst the thousands of ninjas that gathered in rows that stretched out unto the she was able to look up at his familiar face right that moment felt like a small favor; it was comforting to see him there, donning that same slouch of his as he stood next to all the important commanders that will lead this army to war.
This was her Kakashi-sensei, The Great Copy-ninja Hatake Kakashi, she repeated silently in small amusement. It was a title her and her teammates had trivialized and poked fun of with quoting hand gestures, as years of familiarity tend to do. For even as he had managed to live up to his monicker (albeit one hospital visit at a time), he was also the same chronically tardy, smut reading, artful dodging cheapskate, oblivious enough still even in his supposed cunningness, to fall for the occasional parlor pranks. Hell, even his jokes suffered the years and weren't as funny as she remembered them as a young girl.
Right now, however, Sakura was starkly reminded that his reputation was still worth its weight in gold to the shinobi world.
"Sensei.." she mouthed softly, and the word took on its old meaning for the first time in so long since Sakura decided somewhat spitefully to reduce the honorific to a mere nickname, reserving that meaning instead to the Godaime—her true mentor. But little gripes and bitterness tend to feel insignificant when the world was at the brink of destruction, didn't it? So she let the dry wind of the desert carry the word from her lips and into the air, as she steadied her gaze above.
She would be nothing but an unrecognizable tiny speckle from where he stood, but she hoped he knew she was right down there, looking up at him.
It was the first nightfall and the third division had made it into the deep forest just in time before darkness hit. Kakashi planted his hand on the tree trunk as he crouched lower to get a good resting position on one of its sturdy branches. This was the beginning of the patient lurking that had always been an indispensable aspect of a shinobi operation. Veterans would tell you their stories — the graphic details of bloodshed in battle, but not many of them thought to retell about that peaceful moment before the first action. A deceiving calm that never failed to single out the seasoned from the rookie.
Kakashi could tell apart with one look. War always had a way of brandishing its own unique violence, forcing a war fledgling to merely stare into the inky abyss in the hopes that he was prepared for whatever came out of it. Or more accurately.. she; the kunoichi in his view was perched up from the opposite branch across him, looking like a contradiction of sorts with that stone serious expression etched on a soft young face, her dusty camouflaged jounin uniform contrasted by shocking pink hair.
"Sakura.." His whisper was audible enough and in one swift leap, she was right next to him, keeping her head low as she crouched closer.
"What is it Kakashi sens-taichou?"
Kakashi almost smirked at her slip-up. "I can watch this side of the perimeter from here," he said flatly. "We can't risk our best medic in the front lines,"
Still she remained there, waiting on him expectantly with those green eyes.
"That means you," he repeated. "I want you to fall back."
"Oh. Of course! Gotcha." Sakura did a quick salute before jumping down to exit as swift as she came and he listened for the soft padding of her feet when it hit the grass, until the surroundings became almost silent. There was no such thing as complete silence to a shinobi; every sound of ruffling leaves, twigs snapping, rang sharp in Kakashi's ears.
"We have casualties," Gai intoned from behind him. "Two from the ones we stationed below."
"I'm on it," he replied, allowing Gai to take his position as he made his way into their central encampment.
Sakura was already examining the two bodies when he got there. They were Rock-nins, judging from the bloodied uniforms that exhibited heavy laceration across their chests.
Her two fingers checked for pulse on the younger shinobi's neck. "I think this one is still alive."
"Are you sure?" Bewildered, he squatted closer to examine the injured nin and the very mortal looking wound across his body. "Can you still save him?"
"I think so." The bright green glow of her hands was already hovering above the open wound when she spoke, setting her healing chakra to work.
"Let me know when he's stable enough to speak."
Sakura nodded in response. The enemy was already here, lurking among them and Kakashi did one last survey of their surroundings before quickly returning to his post.
She looked up briefly from where she crouched; his tense fingers still gripping the stained kunai as he stood there gazing at the sky.
A fierce sunset, colors swirling in blood and fire punctuated the fifth day of battle, and Sakura found herself equally transfixed for a moment. "You've been ordered to transfer to the medic division tomorrow.." His words tumbled off his lips with a weary sigh, not bothering to glance down to his companion just yet.
"Why? I'm needed here," she replied irately. The set up she had created within their small campsite was not as capable as the ones in the main medic tents and yet she had made the best out of their situation. Modesty aside, she had managed quite a feat.
"Trust me, I know," Kakashi said before he grunted in pain, likely from his bandaged wound that was aggravated when he bent down to sit on one of the beds she had prepared. "But these are specific orders from the Hokage." He dragged out a sigh that made his words much more contemplative.
Dried blood and dirt marred the worn fabric on his face, his uncovered eye looking at nothing in particular. Her captain looked weary, almost too weary for just being a few days into the war.
Sakura's mind flashed to the battle earlier that day— the unspeakable abuse of power that the enemy had stooped down to. There was none like it in her experience as a shinobi. None of them, not even him or any of the seasoned ones have seen this form of sadism— this remorseless tampering with the nature of death in order to re-animate their dead friends.. just to use against them. It was a war of mental attrition and a deep-seated anger had brewed within her, that even as Kakashi's blood lust had grimly mirrored the enemy's, Sakura had fully shared in his rage.
"Then at least allow me to heal you up fully before I go." It was all she could really do at this point, and she retrieved a small rubber band from one of her pouches and tied her hair up with it.
"I'm fine Sakura, you shouldn't waste your chakra at a time like this."
"Tsk tsk. You have no faith in my chakra." She smirked. "It's not as feeble as yours, you know."
His uncovered eye widened before eventually breaking into a small laugh.
They hadn't expected a respite. Not from the looks of how the war was heading. It had felt like the waves of onslaught just kept coming, one after another with no end in sight. As if fighting and sealing the re-animated bodies hadn't felt insurmountable enough, the alliance also had to deal with the slew of Zetsu clones attacking them in different fronts.
Understandably, the sudden cease of enemy attacks was regarded with suspicion. And yet, despite the eery stillness, Kakashi ordered his troops to take advantage of the momentary breather. They would be foolish not to.
He had given up however, on convincing Gai to do the same. His old friend was determined to keep watch with him that night— a staunch quality of his that Kakashi appreciated more so at a time like this.
"Commander!" A figure running towards both of them emerged. "There's been an ambush...Medic Corps.." The young man was breathless when he spoke.
"Medic Corps?" He had reassigned Sakura there just a few days ago and as alarm started to set in on him, he snatched the report scroll the shinobi barely pulled out from his satchel. "Four medics," he read out loud with eyes frantically skimming through the list of names he didn't recognize. He pinched at his nose bridge, suddenly awash with relief.
But it wasn't after the shinobi was dismissed that the guilt from inside him began to swell up.
"You shouldn't feel bad, my friend," Gai offered knowingly. "It's human nature. I'd feel the same if it were my own students."
"She's not my student anymore," came his brisk reply. "She's a soldier, under my command. Just like those four soldiers in that report scroll."
"Well, if it puts you at ease, remember that Sakura would not be so easily tricked into an ambush. Nor be so easily defeated." His friend smirked at Kakashi proudly, likely assuming he had a lot to do with Sakura's prowess.
Another news of a recent ambush spread to Kakashi's camp the next morning, and this time, Sakura's name was spreading like wildfire.
Shizune had just tightened the already tight security at the medic compound, stifling any other communication that could shed more light.
"Nothing is confirmed at the moment. We shouldn't jump to conclusions, " Kakashi heard himself repeating to anyone who approached him asking about Sakura's supposed ambush.
Nothing is confirmed. We shouldn't jump to conclusions.
Sakura knew that the situation at Shizune's medical division would be nothing short of chaotic, but she didn't expect this upon arrival.
There was a silent hysteria that pervaded the whole camp, the tension only heightening each day with each mysterious death. It was bad enough that they'd had to keep their concentration sharp when attending to the wounded, but needing to look over each other's shoulders while they worked too? It was maddening.
So it was only with a sense of relief mixed with her usual fury that she landed her fist hard on the imposter posing as Neji (who had now revealed its true ashen white form), easily breaking the ground with him in it, as her fists tend to do.
And yet her relief proved to be short lived the moment Shizune finished the autopsy report. They learned the clone's genetic makeup was fortified by the DNA of no less than the First Hokage himself, affirming the dreaded fact that the fight in this war was never meant to be a fair one.
The next day, Shizune tasked her to escort a barely-recuperated Iwa-nin back to the third division. Just as Sakura began to protest, the older woman held up her hand. "You're the only one here from that division, Sakura. Since it's your unit, I expect you'd be more familiar with their hidden encampments. Just be back the next daylight," Shizune requested with a slightly worried expression. "We can't lose you too long."
And so Sakura and her companion made their way slowly into the thick of the forest, successfully avoiding their own traps. It was nightfall when they reached the camp, with more people and tents present than she last remembered.
"Sakura-san!" Lee skipped to her excitedly while the Iwa-nin took her cue to deliver the goods she was set out to do.
"Good to see you again, Lee!" Sakura narrowed her eyes at a group of ninjas at the far side of the camp. "Is that Sai?" she focused on a familiar figure huddled around a small bonfire with what looked to be the rest of the Ambush Division.
"Hai! They're only here for the night though."
"Same for me, I leave tomorrow," she said shrugging. "Do you know where Kakashi-sensei is?"
Lee diligently pointed at a specific lit-up medic tent at the corner of the field.
With a quick nod of thanks, she made her way towards the silhouetted shadow of that distinct spiky hair, only to slow down when Sakura saw a kunoichi walking towards the same direction. She was one of the third division members that Kakashi had rescued a week ago; she was attractive, especially in that midriff uniform of hers and there was a certain way the woman had swung her hips when she went inside his tent that made Sakura halt on her tracks.
Suddenly feeling extra drab and dusty, already quite tired from traveling, she resigned to sit and wait on a nearby tree stump.
The shape of both Kakashi and the kunoichi's shadows from the outside were looking quite blurred together, that it was hard to tell which one was who. Her face instantly felt flushed with embarrassment as she understood why. Kakashi-sensei was a man after all, with certain needs — a fact she had completely forgotten.
This was how much older adults did it, wasn't it? How matured women went about men they liked?
Feeling foolish enough to even think she could just wait them out, Sakura quickly stood up to find a spot further away from view where she can settle in for the night.
Kakashi roused his men early that morning. "Naruto already entered battle," he rumbled with urgency. "The enemy's brunt force will focus on him from now on. He's going to need all the help we can give him, is that clear?"
Satisfied with the exuberant roaring response from his men, Kakashi instructed his division to quickly pack their belongings and leave the forest devoid of their trace.
"How's Sakura doing, sensei?" Lee chirped as Kakashi stood by the check-point to watch his men file away.
"You're asking me?" Kakashi frowned, genuinely puzzled.
"She was looking for you last night," Lee shrugged sheepishly. "Didn't you get to speak to her?"
"She was here? I..I'm afraid I didn't get to speak with her at all." Kakashi bit his inner cheek as he contained his own bewilderment. Why didn't she come to see him?
The overuse of his sharingan had left him mostly bed-ridden, and the only visitor he had gotten was Ran, a kunoichi he had saved from the re-animated swordsmen a few weeks ago. The woman had appeared more infatuated than thankful, unable to stop gushing inside his tent while Kakashi sat on his bed unable to tell the woman to leave so he can rest. Ran seemed to have stayed with him by his bed prattling on for a full half hour until—
Wait a minute—Sakura couldn't have come around that time, did she? What made her change her mind? Why would she think she couldn't interrupt us? It wasn't like they were doing anything else.
Did she?
Suddenly mortified at the possibility of Sakura misinterpreting so hastily, Kakashi scoffed in indignation. Please, he rebuked internally. He was certainly not that kind of man, and certainly not a time like this. That she might have assumed so, annoyed him a little.
That he was putting stock on what Sakura thought of him, annoyed him even more
Their enemy proved formidable. Even as Kakashi and Gai made it just in time to save the young Uzumaki from the masked villain who had almost trapped him into another dimension, Kakashi found himself slumped there on the ground, paralyzed and completely useless as years of perceived truths and lies unravelled in front of him.
The masked villain was Obito—a childhood friend he'd thought dead for years, now revealed to be one of the masterminds of the war.
You let Rin die. Obito's words didn't feel so much an accusation than it was a simple truth, a kinder one. For Kakashi knew he didn't just fail to keep his promise. He didn't just let Rin die.
He had bore through her heart with his own hands—the very same ones he was supposed to protect her with.
He had killed Rin, he had failed to save Obito—couldn't prevent him from being the madman he had become, and had done absolutely nothing as he watched his own sensei and his wife give up their lives to save the village from a disaster that he now knew he had indirectly caused. He might as well have damned Naruto himself to whatever the boy had suffered in his childhood.
And people still trusted him? Gave him responsibilities and new lives to protect? Called him a prodigy? A hero?
He was worse than nothing. He was a corrosive scum that ruined everything he touched.
Obito overwhelmed all of them with his power. Their combined efforts were simply too feeble against a Rinnegan-equipped enemy that even Kakashi's own kamui was no match. His chakra was exhausted, leaving him severely weakened, his surroundings reduced to a cacophony of sounds and shapes as he curled on the ground in confusion. At one point he heard Naruto bark out an order but it sounded far too distant to understand that he wondered if he had already slipped into unconsciousness..
"I have him!" Came a sharp voice—Sakura's, he knew it instantly. It didn't take long until Kakashi felt the very palpable rush of energy flow back inside him, invigorating, like fresh streaming water. It was her chakra and it felt like renewed hope.
Kakashi's senses quickly regained its bearings, reminding him of how remarkably efficient Sakura's healing was. As he turned his head to his side, he caught a glimpse of his trusty medic and likely sensing his need for affirmation, Sakura smiled at him before leaning in closer. "Don't worry sensei, I'm here," he heard her say. "You're going to be okay."
They had already lost so many, not just nameless casualties but friends and family. And yet Sakura had seen the way Ino and Shikamaru had barely taken a respite to grieve for their fathers, before focusing their full efforts into battle. The way Hinata had picked herself up after witnessing her own cousin's death. Sakura had never before lost anyone close to her like that, not her family and not any of her friends. But it would be a mistake to assume that she didn't know what loss would feel like-what it felt like.
They weren't all close friends nor family, but she had lost people too. As a medic, they were all hers, and she had felt their lives slip beneath her very fingers even as she tried desperately to save every one of pain of loss had crippled even the godaime at one point in her crucial role as a medic. Sakura decided she would not let it cripple her.
So she resolved to never lose hope, not even after seeing her commander get sucked into the other dimension with Obito. Her former sensei always had a plan, she reminded herself. He knew what he was doing.
She didn't lose hope, even when their fight against Madara and the Juubi started to look like a mere attempt to delay the inevitable. They had the strength of the alliance led by Naruto. They were bound to come up with something because the good guys always won. Naruto always won.
Sakura never lost hope, even as her heart sank the moment she saw Obito come back from that portal alone. There were bigger stakes at hand, she steeled herself, instinctively reaching to feel the newly formed yin seal on her forehead. She was not going to lose any of her friends. Not on her watch.
So when Sakura saw Kakashi hurl back from the other dimension with a kunai in hand pointed at Obito's neck, like it was business as usual, she was surprised to be flooded with so much relief, like a heavy burden had been lifted off her chest.
Against all odds, they had prevailed. Kakashi had to convince himself of this every time he looked at his surroundings. The barren land had laid waste to dead bodies, while medics tackled the task of getting a working system for healing the wounded.
Even when there were no more enemies to fight, for a lot of their seriously injured comrades, the fight wasn't over. Their own godaime was one of them. She had survived worse he heard Sakura tell them; whether it was to convince her fellow shinobi or herself, Kakashi figured, didn't matter. It was clear that his former pupil had pushed herself to work tirelessly, attending Tsunade and the vast number of injuries the army had sustained. Day in and day out, without rest.
He watched her that night, watched as the green glow from her hands dim for no longer than a minute before she would light them up again, going from one stretcher to another.
"I know you're there," her voice echoed in the night, leaving Kakashi no choice but to reveal himself from the dark and approach her.
"You need to rest, Sakura."
"I'm fine," she muttered as she wringed a drenched washcloth. He took note of the dark rings around her eyes and the very sickly pale complexion on her face. She didn't look fine, quite far from it.
"You've been working non-stop.."
"Well duh—that's what medics do." Sakura walked passed him to carrying a rack of supplies, completely avoiding his gaze.
"That not what I mean," he defended as he maintained brisk pace with her moving about. "You won't be of use to anyone if you're passed out from exhaustion."
"Well It's a good thing I'm staying useful anyway, right?" The washcloth she had draped on her shoulder was suddenly tossed to a nearby table as she finally stopped to stand right in front of him.
"I never said you weren't. I'm just concerned for your own health. Tsunade-sama would—"
"Would understand what I'm doing," she interjected. "Because she trusts in my abilities and doesn't treat me like a child, like you seem to always do."
Kakashi fell silent. There was something about the purposeful way she had chosen her words that cut him deeper than it should.
"I'm sorry." She rubbed her temples before releasing a deep sigh.
"No..I'm the one who should apologize. I didn't mean to disrespect your abilities. I was just looking out for you, Sakura."
But was he really coddling her? As if to answer his own question, the night wind suddenly blew pink strands of hair across her face, leading his attention towards the glinting yin seal on her forehead. It was obscured most of the time by her messy bangs when she worked that Kakashi once again found himself in awe of the delicate gem. Her greatest masterpiece and one of many things she had achieved that he never had a hand in. He wanted to tell her he was proud of her, just as he had always been.
"Don't worry about me sensei." Sakura slowly reached for his hand before squeezing it gently. Her palm and fingers, although much smaller than his, rivaled his own in callousness that it felt quite comfortable against his own. "Just trust me, ok?" she said before eventually letting go.
Sakura found him sitting by a nearby lake, pants rolled up and looking very content to be dipping his legs inside the water. Envious of his luxurious little set-up, she took the spot next to him, rolling up her own uniform similarly before submerging her two feet into what felt like the freshest water she'd ever felt in years. A heavy sigh escaped her as she closed her eyes, reveling in the cool stream tickling her toes.
"I heard the godaime is in stable condition," he said finally. "You did an excellent job."
"Mmm, I did good." She nodded wearily, feeling much too fatigued to lift her eyes open or to feign humility. She saved her shishou. She did good.
Now that the frenzy is over, Sakura could feel the adrenalin start to leave her body. A ten year nap was definitely on the agenda when they get back to Konoha. Back to her bed. Back to her own sheets..
Without much thought and only because it felt absolutely comfortable, she rested her head on his shoulder, letting the sound of their mingled breathing lull her to a calm state.
Sakura could feel her heartbeat slow down into a steady pulse, as her body became eager to drift into sleep. It didn't take much observation however, especially for a skilled medic like her, to notice that her companion was exhibiting a much faster one. She could feel it, right where her head was leaning a few inches from his chest. His heart wasn't beating erratically, nor was it exceptionally loud like a drum. It was simply a quick pulse, and the observation didn't really pique her interest aside from the fact that hearts tend to beat differently and that her job deprived her of the off switch for always noticing them.
She can feel the reflection of the sun on water dancing against her closed eyelids, prompting her to slowly open her eyes. The surface of the lake, which created a striking contrast from the jagged landscape of Kumokagure remained undisturbed aside from the small ripples coming from two pairs of feet.
She caught their reflection then as she peered into the water. His gaze remained fixated outwards into the blue sky, leaving Sakura to lazily observe stands of her pink hair resting on her vest that was matted with both grime and blood. She turned seventeen during the war, and she wondered if she looked her age at all. In some ways, she felt so much older. Her eyes then drifted to the reflection of the man beside her who was still engaged in cloud watching. There was not much else to appraise with a masked face, she couldn't even tell how old he was sometimes. Right now, their ages didn't look that much far apart, sitting here like this. They could almost look like a..couple.
As if sensing the wayward path her thoughts had led her, Kakashi leaned in forward similarly, staring back at their shared reflection before Sakura guiltily averted her eyes sideways.
Did he feel it too? Sakura couldn't find a name for what it was, even as she was able to file all seventeen years of her life under the three categories of infatuation, love and friendship.
Kakashi shifted a little where he sat, still unnervingly silent that Sakura straightened up her back, suddenly feeling aware of their proximity.
When did it happen?
Sakura knew exactly when she had stopped seeing him as an idealized hero—it wasn't when the eraser fell on his head. It had happened much later when Sasuke had left, when she had seen that her sensei was just as powerless as anyone to prevent the inevitable. Still, he had put his hand on her shoulder, promising her that it was all going to be okay.
When she became the godaime's apprentice, Kakashi had officially ceased to be her sensei, even as the hollowed honorific lingered on.
She knew that her relationship with her former sensei was at a transition, and yet Sakura found herself surprised to be at a type of impasse she still couldn't understand.
"We should probably head back," Kakashi said, breaking the silence. When he offered his hand briefly to help her up, Sakura debated not letting go of his grasp even as they walked. Thankfully, some measure of prudence came back to her and the two of them headed back to the encampment, not hand in hand, but side by side, just as they had always been.