7x20

Bonnie ran her fingers along the binding of the book in her lap. The flickering hearth fire was warm against her skin as she sat on the floor. She knew that she didn't have much time left, and while Rayna's blood would keep the Armory from tracking her, it only made her sicker. This thought that she might be dead soon, made it easy for her to think about her life, the last few years.

Two years before, Enzo's was gone for weeks at a time, and she was growing haunted by her loneliness. When he was around, she should tell he was falling for her, yet her emotions had remained stagnant. She often wondered if kissing him would ease her pain somehow.

Enzo was not understanding of her emotions, though he put on a good face. This was the reason Bonnie had told herself she would not get involved with him until her wounds were healed. The problem was, they would never be healed, not without him. For the last three years she had lived without Damon, and she was strong, but this did not mean she enjoyed it. He was gone, and she had no other choice.

However, this wasn't the truth any longer. Damon was back, and fighting to keep her alive.

Bonnie opened the book, looking at the page where the once familiar sealed letter had been hidden for years. The book was now heavy, yet felt as though it was missing it's heart. She had wanted to read what was inside the letter for so long, and now she might never know. For the last few days she had been projecting her hurt as hate towards Damon. Though she did not hate him, not at all. Spent her time being more loving towards Enzo than she'd been in the last year.

Enzo crept up behind Bonnie, and she could feel his eyes on the book in her hands before he even spoke.

"Are you still reading that, love?" he asked, "Have you not read that enough times?"

Her heart sunk in her chest as she closed the book.

Why had she expected him to say something supportive? She should have known better by now.

"I didn't hear you come in." Bonnie told him, avoiding the subject.

Enzo kept down, placing his hands on her shoulders, face against her hair. She tried to enjoy this, as she knew he loved her. Bonnie claimed to love him, but more and more questions came into play in her head as the hours went on since Damon's return.

"Are you alright, my love?" he questioned, and she closed her eyes.

Love.

Bonnie was tired of this word, this nickname, this term of endearment. It was weighing on her.

"Alright as I can be." she responded and felt his lips against her cheek.

Enzo did not understand Damon's influence on her, in fact he seemed jealous of the mere mention of him. While his stance around Damon was a poker face of being unfazed, Bonnie had spent three years with the man. This game he was playing around Damo was nothing but a new card she was already exhausted by.

Enzo was broken, just like her, and perhaps that was the attraction in the beginning. But the more this went on, the more she realized he was not the man he pretended to be.

"Thank you for coming home." Bonnie said after a second, trying to find the light in the situation.

After all, she had asked him to come home.

He was her home, this was her home… Wasn't it?

Bonnie did not want to unravel this life she had made for herself. Didn't she deserve to be happy?

She wasn't happy though, that was the thing. Enzo was jealous, he was possessive, he had taught her to be complacent in his wake.

"Where is Damon?" Bonnie questioned, and regretted it instantly.

"Does it matter?" Enzo said slowly, and she didn't reply.

Enzo had always known she cared for Damon, yet he had been the one to ask why she had not burnt his letter. As if it was an easy thing to do.

The more she stared into the fire, the more she started to wonder if she needed to rethink her life, rethink her relationship. Settling was a comfortable thought when Damon was dead to her, but, now he was practically raised from the dead and everything in her head was spinning.

Rayna came stumbling in from the front door, dropping the wood in her arms. She gasped, shaking, dropping to the floor and searching through the papers on the floor.

"What's going on?" Bonnie asked, and the woman rushed to throw papers into the fireplace.

"They're killing them." Rayna said wide eyed, excited, and Bonne knew well that there was no way in hell the small group could be killing handfuls of vampires within minutes.

Twenty minutes later, Bonnie had spent the entire time pacing the floor, waiting for Damon to get back so she could get some answers. He had went behind her back to make a deal with Alex. After all this time she'd spent being conflicted over him, caring about him, wanting to forgive him. He had to do something that made her skin burn, her heart ache. It hurt her, for him to make deals without her, deals she didn't want to be a part of.

The second she heard the camaro's tires on the gravel, she grabbed her coat and pulled it on, Enzo following her out of the house.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Bonnie asked angrily as she watched Damon shut the car door, she stomped down the walkway.

"What did you think I was doing to do, just let you die?" he asked stopping in front of her, his Henley shirt unbuttoned, leather jacket, smudges of blood he'd attempted to clean off his face.

"I would rather die, than be forced to open that vault." she exclaimed.

"Excuse me, what happened to the new Bonnie, the one that's not to eager to just sacrifice herself? I don't understand." Damon said looking genuinely confused.

Bonnie wasn't sure what to say, three years was a long time for her. Things had changed, but had she not realized how drastically she had changed? When Damon left, she was the woman who wanted to live, would do anything to live, and save those she loved. Who was she now?

"Bonnie." he started, "I have a shaman ready to make you the proud new owner of Rayna's last life all you have to do is just open the stupid vault for Alex, and you're well, you're done!"

Should could see the confusion, the hurt, the desperation in Damon's eyes, hear it in his voice. He could not understand why she would not want to live, and for the first time, Bonnie was starting to ask herself the same questions.

"Alex can't be trusted." she said slowly, starting to wonder if she was just making excuses.

"Bonnie, stop being so dramatic, she just wants her sister back." he motioned his hand outwards, as Enzo stood there completely silent, as though he had nothing to say.

"Damon, the vault turns people into monsters, how can I in good conscious open it?" she asked, shaking her head.

Damon's eyes flickered over to Enzo, "You're being quiet on this one, huh? You saw what happened to Mary and Nora on their last days, you should be on my side."

"Bonnie can make her own decisions." Enzo replied, looking straight at the Damon as his phone started ringing in his pocket.

Bonnie's eyes flickered over to him, and for a moment, a thought crossed her mind. Was Enzo saying this because he didn't want her to open the fault, because if she lived, she might leave him? Or was he worried she would be upset with him if he was honest? Perhaps it was both, but either way his no opinion stance on everything was giving her a headache.

"Yeah, and when she's dead, you'll be making them for her!" Damon said his eyes wide with annoyance, "Like what dress she's going to be buried in!."

Bonnie inhaled, listening as Damon stuttered, wanting to say more.

"Jeez." he huffed grabbing his phone and answering it quickly.

She was growing tired of this, the arguing, the angst. Bonnie's internal battles were repetitive and she was sick of it.

"We hit a snag." Damon told Alex, his blue eyes focused on Bonnie.

She realized something, Damon did not want to force her to open the vault. If he did, he would have been dragging her there by now. He wanted her to want to live, he wanted her to make this choice… The right one, as she was realizing.

Bonnie's eyes went to Enzo who stood, like insignificant statue with no plans, no real care for whether or not she lived or died as long as he got to have the golden star on his morality chart for being with her.

Bonnie thought she could be happy with her life as it was, be alright with dying, but she was honest.

As she tore her emerald eyes away from him and looked back at the man who had actually been working to save her, she had decided something.

Bonnie was no longer going to allow her future to be influenced by the frustrations of an insecure man.

"I'll do it."