Summary: In which there are ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

*Set 2 years after the Fourth War

A/N: This is part 3 of 4. I've been meaning to upload one long chapter, but decided to divide the length evenly. Part 4 should be finished much quicker, I promise. Sorry to keep y'all waiting. This is the culmination of everything, so I'm eager to get this right! :) (Not to mention, life got in the way.)

The general topic of Sakura was one of the many things Kakashi wasn't particularly fond of contemplating. So was the reminder that he had been the one to push her away, and that she had responded to it in a manner that was very Sakura— headstrong and determined. Surely angry at first, but only until she was ready to set her mind on moving-on, which she had demonstrated impeccably (as she never half-assed anything she set her mind to).

Perhaps it was much easier for someone who wasn't a smut-reading introvert who also took to inner-ramblings as a legitimate hobby, but for all his supposed emotional austerity, Kakashi was baffled to accept that he simply wasn't as adept at this as she was.

"Just like that, huh?" Sakura's voice bounced around the room's high ceiling as they stepped in.

"Just like that," he echoed in his typical lackadaisical manner; it was amusing to him really, how peculiarly inconsequential this building was to accomplish, and not at all the complicated problem she had made it out to be.

"Thank you, hokage-sama." Her hand reached for his arm right as they made it inside, startling him for a moment that Kakashi had to deliberately ignore the way his body tensed as they lingered there, before she eventually let go.

"Don't thank me, it was Yamato who did all the labor." He managed to shrug off more than her statement as he began to follow her languid pacing about the room. "Not to mention, most of the real work still lie ahead of you."

"But not without some help," she added as she braced her hand on one of the support beams before resuming her steps. "Sai already volunteered to help us with a few workshops—he taught a few genins how to create those flip book illustrations last week, ya know? Even brought their creations to life with his jutsu! How cool is that?"

Kakashi could only smile behind his mask for reply as her words became more spirited.

"Anyway, It got all the other jounins interested that even Shikamaru volunteered to come up with some application for his shadow abilities. I mean, it's just fascinating—" Sakura's face was completely lit up now as she spun around to face him, "—that we have these creative avenues for self expression we barely explore." Her eyes was wide with an enthusiasm that rivaled Naruto's, with the only difference being that she had managed to apply it into something tangible. Even if it were to be but a small step in fixing a systemic problem, Kakashi was reminded, as he stood there in an empty room filled with endless possibilities, that there were much more important things at stake than his crippling inability to accept that he was badly in love with her. And as much as the recent crushing admittance of a word he was still too hesitant to utter loudly had tempted him to hide away in a place far away, he simply couldn't.

As the hokage, he shouldn't.

"Art-therapy isn't too foreign to our world after all.." he quipped, remembering Sakura's hesitance at the hospital, which then made her smile turn a little sheepish.

"I was just suffering cold feet.." She let her words trail as she began to trace the geometric patterns of the floor with her foot. "What if it doesn't work.. what if it fails completely..so many people investing.."

"It's not like you to second-guess so much, Sakura.." He very nearly stepped closer to touch her, but he was starkly reminded of the last time she had brushed his hand off her shoulder, angry with tears. "You used to be much more brash than this," he offered instead, though he pondered if there was even a word that sufficed to describe her relentless passion, the bullheaded way she would follow her heart above everything else.

"Maybe some things are simply outgrown." Even as Sakura let a smile quirk on her lips, the finality of her words carried a hint of sadness that made Kakashi's insides twinge.

Politics, Kakashi had decided, was an abhorrent and yet integral part of his job. Still, the rokudaime wondered, as he sat behind his desk before his two favorite visitors, if he could simply do without it entirely.

"To what do I owe this honor?" he inflected with similar sarcasm that was hardly relished by the two elders sitting across him, their aged and hardened expressions as dated and stubborn as the agendas they keep on peddling.

"Don't play dumb with us, rokudaime," Homura grumbled. "We know exactly what you've been up to."

"Alright, I admit to it." With a sigh, Kakashi leaned back into his chair, hands raised behind his back. "But I see nothing wrong with indulging in spoilers once in awhile. It's not like I haven't read the book-version anywa— "

"Hokage-sama, this is not a game!" Homura bellowed louder. "This project of hers will be a breeding ground for anti-Konohan propaganda." The elder's age-spotted hands curled into a fist against the arm chair. "It will destabilize the very shinobi system our village is built on. Surely you realize this!"

"I know Sakura would not mean to start something like this," Koharu injected gently in her deplorable attempt at pandering. "That child simply doesn't know what she's getting herself into, I'm sure she'll see the truth if you enlighten her."

"What makes you think she'd listen to me?" That he would even agree to these old fools was ridiculous enough. "Besides, you seem to have very little faith on someone you've once put forward as the godaime's successor." This time, his sarcasm faltered as he frowned with genuine confusion.

"We wanted to redirect her enthusiasm elsewhere," the old woman admitted grudgingly. "Sakura exhibits much more potential for administrative leadership than this worthless project."

"This worthless project—" he quickly shot back through gritted teeth. "—is what's helping our very own veterans overcome traumatic injuries."

Homura could only scoff, as it proved his visitors were both completely impervious to common sense. "That's what hospitals are for, rokudaime. Not finger painting."

"And so you have made your disdain clear." The conversation was now grating on his already thin patience, still, he managed to fabricate a courteous nod. "Would that be all?"

Realizing they've hit an obstinate brick wall, Homura and Koharu huffed in indignation before grumbling to themselves as they stood up to leave.

The first snowfall of the year came that evening and if the streets of Konoha hadn't been bright enough then, it was irradiating now with the night sky and street lamps softly reflecting on the white blanket that enveloped the village.

Not too far away from the hokage tower, inside one snow covered restaurant, Kakashi contently enjoyed his ramen with his two former students.

But Sakura, it would seem, had a much bigger appetite for curiosity than the food in front of her; with narrowed eyes, she leaned forward to regard the blonde sitting across her. "It's one thing to pass up Ichiraku for this place, but to treat us too?" she remarked pointedly. "There's something you're not telling us, Naruto."

"I thought I'd take you guys somewhere special, is all." The young man smiled sheepishly with a string of noodle still dangling between his teeth. "Hinata's family took me here once, her dad said it's way better than Ichiraku." As soon as he had said it, the blonde scratched his chin with an expression that wasn't entirely convinced, and Sakura only frowned, entirely too smart to buy into his stalling.

"Alright," he sighed defeatedly. "I thought it's obvious enough, but uhm.. you see.." A fierce blush slowly tinted his cheeks." Hinata and I are engaged. We're..we're to be married soon."

"What exciting news, Naruto. Congratulations!" Kakashi tilted his head for a small bow as he lifted his lamentable glass of water.

"What? When did you propose?" The incredulity in her tone flew past Naruto as he boyishly folded up his arms behind his head.

"Her dad set this engagement up, so I didn't have to, ya know?" he replied with shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

If those slightly twitching eyebrows was any indicator, Sakura looked to be visibly fighting off her growing disapproval. "You're saying this is her father's idea?"

"Well.. not entirely," Naruto pondered. "This is all where it's heading anyway..right? I mean, I was planning it too," he pressed on further. "I think she's the one, ya know?"

"And that's really all that matters," Kakashi placated smoothly before the atmosphere in their small dining booth grew tense. At the back of his mind was a separate realization; Hiashi was a brilliantly shrewd man and being maritally bonded with the strongest shinobi in the whole world bolstered the Hyuuga's influence and power. At this point, Naruto's aspirations to become hokage would be but mere icing to their political empire—redundant in leverage, yet so temptingly achievable with a lift of a finger that it was then Kakashi realized he might be holding his office for not much longer.

"If you're to be married, shouldn't you sound a little surer than that?" Snippy as she was, something in the slight curve of her mouth expressed concern.

"But you used to be all about Sasuke, remember? You were sure then and now you're dating another guy," he challenged.

"First of all, Ken and I aren't together anymore, I mean we weren't really dating..like that. We just watched movies and stuff." Her attempt to mumble it all out efficiently didn't stop her eyes from averting sideways, nor did it stop Kakashi from suddenly sitting a little straighter.

"Second," she began more resolutely this time. "I didn't say you can't find love in other places, baka. But time is the only way you get to figure these things out."

"Ya know, you've always been so negative about this Sakura-chan!" Naruto's words broke above the sound of chattering patrons around them, understandably fed up. "Bah! You're just jealous that I like other girls now," he taunted with a childish scowl.

"I'm serious, Naruto," she chided, unimpressed.

Still pouting, he proceeded to dig into his ramen as silence befell the three of them, breaking only when the waitress finally served them up some proper drinks that Kakashi had signal for a few minutes ago.

"See, this is the kind of attitude that worries me." Undeterred, Sakura flicked a hand at Naruto's direction. "You really should cut that out, think about how Hinata would feel."

"She's right you know," Kakashi came to her defense this time, though it wouldn't be a stretch to suspect, that in some way, Naruto would always carry a torch for their female teammate. Truthfully, he couldn't blame the young man.

"I'm sorry," Naruto mumbled, idly poking his chopsticks at the floating shrimp in his bowl. "I guess this is all new to me too. I mean, she makes me happy, ya know? And I know I make her happy.." The newly engaged smiled goofily at this before his expression crumpled slightly. "Why can't you be happy for me?"

"But I am," she protested. "I'm just giving my advice, that's all." Her hand instinctively reached for her chopsticks, suddenly cognizant of how much she had dragged this conversation on.

"You have to trust him to make that decision, Sakura," Kakashi reaffirmed softly.

"You make it sound like I'm mothering him, sheesh." Her bunched fist lightly rattled their table, unwilling to recede completely. "I'm surprised you're so blasé about this, of all people."

"Me? I'm blasé all the time," came his scoff that rolled into a nervous chuckle; it wasn't lost in him that Sakura's ire could shift towards him, and possibly for the worst.

"Not when it comes to relationships, no. I think petrified would be a better word," she remarked icily, and as stoic as her face was when she had said it, she stiffened soon after, visibly catching herself.

"What does that mean?" Kakashi frowned in feigned confusion even as a cutting feeling in his chest hinted at what she had alluded to. It was rare these days to see her acknowledge whatever it was that didn't quite happen between them, and acrimoniously at that, though a very small part of him was relieved he wasn't the only one wrestling with the past.

"Eh..are we still talking about my engagement?"

Naruto's mumbling inquiry was another one Sakura ignored, as her eyes cast low, boring into her barely eaten ramen with an expression that was both resentful and confused.

"I'm sorry Naruto, but I have to go," she mumbled as she stood up."I'm happy for you and Hinata, I mean it." She let a small yet no less genuine smile quirk at the corner of her mouth as she regarded the confused looking blonde momentarily, her eyes completely avoiding Kakashi's probing ones, before she walked away from their table.

"Mah', I'll let her steam off if I were you, sensei." Naruto had likely seen the look on his face, as he watched her leave the restaurant. "We can't always chase her everytime she runs off, ya know?"

"That's true.." A long sigh left him,not out of relief but of defeated acceptance as he reached for his hokage cloak draped on a chair. "And yet I usually do, don't I?"

"What do you want?"

Her question wasn't particularly loud, but it echoed in the empty snow-covered street as she stopped in her tracks.

It was fairly easy for Kakashi to trace her hurried footsteps in the snow, and as she turned around to face him with a surprisingly much guarded countenance, he realized, with no small amount of irony, that she had gotten so much better at retreating than he was.

"I'll make it up to Naruto, I promise," she offered conveniently when he continued to walk closer.

"This isn't about Naruto, we both know that." Kakashi was about done with her ruse. Like a cord wound too tight, he feared snapping. "We can't keep doing this, Sakura." His bluntness made her eyes, for a moment, betray the barriers she had erected. In them was an old affection Kakashi hadn't realized he had wanted to see in her, and with the limited courage he had, he considered a solution deemed innocuous to most normal people. "Perhaps we need to talk about..this." Timidly, he lifted his hand to make small gesture between the two of them.

And yet, it wasn't so much that he needed Sakura to acknowledge that fateful night in his apartment hallway, for some 'proper closure', as he had tried to convince himself of. No, he resigned, as the truth had become a new source of irritation, burrowing like an itch under his chest he couldn't quite claw out, that he'd been dying to find out if she still wanted him; if the memory of it elicited the same emotion that had swirled in her veins when she had kissed him a year ago.

"There's nothing else to talk about," she replied dryly, though no longer pretending to be ignorant of what he'd been alluding to. "We've both said what we needed to say about the subject, Kakashi." There were always these rare instances she would address him plainly, and it had always served to lay him bare.

"But it wasn't just out of fear, I want you to know that." He kept his voice at par with hers like he'd been simply making a comment about the weather, lest he scare her away and even as he grappled with her words back in the restaurant...its implications; he wasn't a coward, it wasn't self-preservation. How could it be, when her happiness was more important to him than his own? "You deserve so much better than what I could give you," Kakashi admitted brokenly. These words had become a worn adage, even to his own ears, but no less true.

She swallowed hard, expression tight. "And how kind of you to make that decision for me," she grated. "Since I'm too young to determine my own happiness, you would know best, right?" Sakura's brand of sarcasm wasn't nearly as smooth and cuttingly temperate as his was, and yet its unpolished quality came with a raw bite.

The accusations of ageism would reach a point of absurdity sometimes; she had been his life-line during the war, he had entrusted her with serious responsibilities as a jounin, he believed in her visions for the future and if he would have been a much more spiteful man, he'd been able to dispel her insinuation with one equally snide response . But the feeling of contradicting realities dug into him as Kakashi stared at her completely agape.

"Look, I don't really feel like hearing all your reasons again. I get it, okay?" Her eyes twisted in agony as her expression begin to soften; he must've looked rueful enough, standing there speechless still, to earn her mercy.

"I..I didn't mean to be disrespectful either." Stepping closer, Sakura placed her small hand on his chest, he was sure she could feel his rapid heartbeat. "It's hard to always remember you're the hokage, when you used to be our dopey sensei…" Her eyebrowsed creased together, as if pondering this for the first time before cracking a small smile. "And that.. I fell for you at one point," she said faintly as the words turn into smoke, evaporating in the cold air like the old memory it was meant to be.

It took Kakashi a moment to realize, as he stood there with his inability for speech gone, that he'd been waiting for her to yank him down and kiss him. But the sound of nearby footsteps broke their stillness, and she let go of him.

Stepping away, Sakura left him there. His thoughts tangled around the increasingly crowded space in his head as a warm feeling spread through him.

Kakashi straightened the worn edges of the old photograph in his hand— a rare one of both his parents, and the only ever physical depiction he had of his mother.

Her death, unlike his father's, was a tragedy he couldn't expressly grieve about or find release through tears. That he had indirectly caused it through childbirth had been something he had wanted to atone for during his brief visit to the afterlife and he remembered distinctly the small exasperation his father had hidden behind his smile. "You apologize way too much," Sakumo had teased with a smirk. His tone had been light, and had always been his manner of deflection; the old man's idiosyncrasies hadn't changed much even after death. Except his father had only known of a son that was brazen and arrogant, not this self-deprecating, mumbling grown-up who had been staring into their shared bonfire in silent anguish.

Regret was a debilitating disease he continued to struggle with and he had hoped that not any of his students went down that path. But Kakashi had failed to divert Sasuke's thirst for vengeance, even as he had tied the stubborn punk around a tree-trunk. Even if he wasn't always the best at following through, he had tried to impart the right messages of teamwork, trust and the bonds of friendship, to all of them.

At best, he could admit to being an unassuming hypocrite to his own teachings. Old habits die hard after all, and Kakashi was a creature of habit. For solitude was not only familiar, but comfortable, especially when he had convinced himself for so many years, that he couldn't possibly deserve anything better. His father had been right anyway, it had made him a rather broken adult.

Which was why it had seemed sardonically fitting that Sakura thrived on mending things; Kakashi had wondered if he could even sustain her budding interest outside her penchant for charity. He'd been certain that she'd grow tired of him eventually— discarded kindly, because Sakura would always be kind, and it would serve to hurt him more than if she'd been deliberately cruel.

Hurt was another companion to solitude anyway, comfortable even, especially on days when he'd been feeling sadistic—he'd have to thank his father's death for this. It had taken years of his youth until Kakashi understood why Sakumo did what he did, though still the burning question had remained. "If you could go back, would you still save them, knowing what would happen after?" he had asked him.

"I would, yes," Sakumo had answered without a shred of regret. Because even as his father had ended his life at a point of disgrace, caused by what a young Kakashi had understood as failings in his father's part, Sakumo had regretted nothing about his life, not even his death, it seemed.

Instead, he had kindled a peace about himself that had enabled him to accept the nature of choices and consequences. Perhaps that was a gift given only to the dead.

"My son, hurt is always going to be a risk with anything worthwhile." The deep lines around Sakumo's mouth creased as he smiled at him assuringly. For all his supposed genius, it was only now that Kakashi fully understood the implication of his father's words.

"I've been nothing but a coward," Kakashi breathed defeatedly, still holding the old photograph and envisioning his parents sighing amusedly at their son reaching a new level of self-deprecation.

Fear masked as doubt masked as selflessness. Ironically, it had always been about him. Was he truly so broken that he could not make Sakura happy? Despite all Kakashi's shortcomings ,the thrumming in his veins, the beating in his chest convinced him that he could.

E/N: Thanks for waiting so long and thanks for reading! As always, reviews are appreciated!