AN: Once again thank you for all the lovely reviews, this chapter is a bit angsty so hopefully you guys won't get to emotional *cries over fictional characters* okay well maybe that's just me. Anyway please leave reviews as they keep me motivated and let me here what you guys enjoy. Anyway, on with the next chapter!
Ben was parked right outside Rey's apartment and she hated it. Since Rey had removed the exhaust, they both had to push the car to her apartment, which, thankfully, wasn't too far from the mechanics. Though it would have helped if there wasn't a blizzard outside. The snow was screaming down outside, but since Ben had paid her up front she was able to buy a jar of coffee. Rey could feel every drop of coffee go down her dry throat and heat up her empty stomach. It felt wrong to savour the warmth of her beverage as Ben sat out in the cold. She could see him from where she sat by her window, the heavy sheet of snow cast on the car made its black colour stand out even more in the yellow glow of the street lights.
He knows you're an orphan, he knows you're weak. You can't be friends with someone like him. Or do you want to be more than friends? A weakling like you couldn't seduce someone like him, he already knows of your loneliness. He will never look at you the same, ever!
Rey never realised she was crying till she heard herself let out a loud sob.
It wasn't even that she liked him that much, it was that he knew. He knew about her loneliness, her pain, her fear. Her weaknesses. Or did he feel her loneliness? And her pain? And her fear? Were they his weaknesses too?
I don't like him.
But is he the one I need the most?
Rey sat crying by her window staring out into the dark of night hoping someday the tears would stop.
Ben could feel the wind shaking the car and heard the snow crashing down on the roof like stars falling from the sky. The beer didn't seem to numb his loneliness like it usually did, it only reminded him how lonely he truly was, with only alcohol as company. The pain stung at his brain like hot coal, he knew she was watching him, but he couldn't bring himself to face her.
She knows that you're alone, that you're so alone.
Ben took another sip of his beer
She knows you're in pain.
Ben gulped down his beer.
She knows you're weak.
Ben opened another beer.
He never seemed to get drunk, he never felt sick or did something stupid, he just sat on his own trying to drink away the world. It never seemed to work. Ben jerked his head to look up at Rey, but quickly realised she was no longer looking to him. She sat with her knees clutched to her chest, her cheeks red and her eyes streaming tears viciously down her face. He wanted to hold her, tell it was ok, let her know how he was the same, but he couldn't. He could just sit and drink beer whilst his salty tears were absorbed by his ratty old blanket, that was more made tears than fabric.
Ben Solo had finally had enough.
Rey was still sobbing when she heard the loud knocks at the door of her apartment. She considered not answering, but who would be knocking at her door at this time unless they had a good reason. When she opened the door she didn't even see who it was before two large arms wrapped along her small frame. No one had ever hugged her like this before. She had been given pity hugs all her live, but they were empty and shallow, but this, this hug was different. Someone she didn't even class as a friend, was hugging her with more emotion than she ever knew possible. Rey didn't know what to say, what could she? Ben was crying too, he needed to be held too, so that's what she did.
"Thank you" Rey whispered into his shoulder.
"I know you're alone" Ben said quietly.
"And so are you?" Rey said as if she didn't understand her own words.
"I-I.." Ben sobbed heavier "I am"
"You've never told anyone that have you?" Rey tried to sound as kind as she could.
Ben didn't reply, but held Rey tighter, which was clarification enough.
They stood their holding each other until Rey fell asleep on his shoulder. Ben gently picked her up and put her on her bed, arranging pillows and blankets around her.
" Let's be alone together" Ben said t the sleeping Rey as he lay down on the couch so he could get some rest.
A small smile spread across Rey's face at his words.