Chapter 17 (Hey... Missed me? Hopefully you did because now you're getting more Oz feels!)

The next few days he's all I can think about.

I know, I know, that makes me sound like some cheesy teenager in a romance novel who's denying their feelings. And just stating that makes me sound like one of those teenagers who falls into that category but is trying to be cool and won't admit it. So, in order to deny those statements, I would like to sate that I fall into both categories.

I nope around for a few hours after the incident. Then I remembered that he's a jerk and that I shouldn't feel guilty. It's just him being over dramatic. He's on his man-period, that's all.

But the problem with these arguments is that none of them convince me.

He hit a deep nerve. He pointed out on of my flaws, one of my fears. I know I'm not good with boundaries, which makes all of this more personal. This is sort of ironic because by him telling me that and confirming a deep fear, I've steeped over another boundary line of mine. A boundary line into the dark thoughts.

That dark thoughts being the ones that every human thinks about occasionally. Some think about them so frequently they forget the light thoughts; Others visit them in the darkest hour of the night. I admire the people who have made friends with them, those who know that they're imperfect and love themselves for it. Unfortunately I think I've started slipping into the first category.

I've become obsessed with these thoughts. I know it's not healthy but it's happened and I'm losing my grip on reality. I've been this what somewhat before, but never to this level of extremity. It scares me.

That's the worst part; It scares me. I'm the scariest thing I can imagine as of right now. I'm not afraid of the dark or spiders anymore. Those are stupid fears that people claim terrify them the most because they haven't looked deep enough.

I don't know when I became a philosopher who thought of these things, but I do believe somewhere inside of me that they're true. I wish they weren't, but I thoroughly believe myself. Then again, that is quite typical for humans.

Ugh, what is going on in my head? I'm speaking about humans as if I'm not one. I'm reconsidering life as I know it!

And all because of a stupid guy.

Tris POV

Oz has been strange lately.

Not like cheery butterflies and rainbows strange like I expected she'd be after getting together with Peter. No, she's been... strange. She seems more thoughtful now which I consider as strange because she made it quite obvious that she's an extrovert.

I wonder if Peters cheating in her or something. Maybe he's abusive! If he lays a finger on her in a harmful way I will kill him!

I want to ask Oz so many questions but now does not seem like a good time.

Especially considering who they're about.

I'll give you a hint: he has dark blue eyes, short brown hair, and his name starts with a "T". You were correct if you guessed Tobias.

He's always so friendly to me and I don't understand! Does he hate me or does he like me? Is Four his twin? Why won't Oz tell me anything about him? Ugh, guys. Why don't they make any sense?

Maybe I should do some snooping. I could probably get some information if I asked the right people the right things. Or maybe I'll try asking the wrong people the wrong things! That probably will work slightly either way.

Now, who are the right people? Uriah maybe. Not Zeke, he seems too paranoid of something. Oz is out. Christina is just as lost as me. Maybe Will has a theory. And perhaps Tobias himself.

I start devising a plan and a list of questions to ask. I'll go to Uriah first, then Will, and I'll wrap up with Tobias.

Line

I see Uriah the next day right after my last period. He's with Marlene and Lynn so I ask to borrow him from them. They agree and just let me drag him off.

I pull him into a corner and he chuckles nervously.

"Tris, I'm not going to cheat on a Marlene I do that's what you want. Our chance ended a while ago. That door is closed and probably sealed forever now." I roll my eyes at his comment.

"I'm not here for that. I'm here to ask you some questions." This should calm him down, but it only makes him look more panicked.

He gulps.

"What sort of questions?" I ignore the fact that he just said something.

"Do you know why Tobias looks so similar to Four?" I ask. He is sweating a lot and looks like a cartoon character to be honest. I would probably be laughing right now if curiosity didn't over power my sense of humor at this moment.

"Um, maybe I know."

"Great, now could you tell me if they do?" I say after a very dramatic eye roll.

"No."

I guess Tobias and Four made them stare to some oath of secrecy because no one I asked so far has answered me at all. Oh well. I'll eventually get some answers out of him but for now I'll lure him into a sense of false security.

"M'kay. Bye!" I shout while waving him off. He waves quickly and sprints off. How funny, he's running away from me. I hope he realizes that I will get answers if it's the last thing I do.

Hey! Missed me? Sorry about the whole abandoning you guys for a month thing... Whoops! I've been caught up in all the PJO feels, I'm sorry. *dodges shoe thrown at me! most likely by carbon copy of myself*

Anyways, I'm not sure if I said this yet to you guys but I've been reading the PJO series (I read it all in a month leading up to BOO) and I ship Percico/Solangelo/Jasico/Valdangelo/WhateverTheHellMakesNeeksHappy so hard! Solangelo is preferred by only by a little to Percico! I JUST LOVE THEM ALL! But solangelo is canon which means a little less suffering for my soul so that's probably why I like it better.

So... What's been up with you guys? I've been chilling and doing nothing... I finished If I Stay too which was pretty good. I think I'm going to read The Giver, The Maze Runner, and then City of Ash (or City of Glass, who he ever is the second) . Yeah...

QOTD: You know what? I want you guys to ask questions! Ask anything about me or the other readers that you would like to know! I encourage you guys to answer each other's questions as well!