Time to change the rating, just in case! Haha. Goodness, I apologize for the delay, I had to work and wasn't exactly sure how to go about this chapter. I'm pretty proud of it though and it's the longest yet! Thank you so much for the favs and follows and please keep reviewing, I love the reviews, they fuel me! Enjoy!
One week after the suggested date, Emma and Regina had finally found a time when their schedules lined up. With Henry at a sleepover, Emma knew Regina might be nervous and thinking about him, but she hoped this would give them an opportunity to talk to each other simply as women, rather than associates, moving them past the formal professionalism of their relationship with Henry.
Emma had obtained her recipe for a white-wine braised chicken online and had practiced making it twice already this week (Not that she was about to admit that to Regina). She knew that personally, she hadn't been on a date in a very…very long time and wondered if the situation was the same for Regina. Regardless, she didn't want to screw it up.
Emma set her chicken in the oven, saying a silent prayer, and made her way to the washroom to double check her appearance. Not only was Regina a great cook, but she always looked fucking amazing while doing it. So, the red and fitted dress Emma had chosen seemed like a solid effort, if she did say so herself.
Emma had never cooked for someone on a date… most nights, her cooking for herself wasn't even passable. But for Regina, Emma was determined to try. She recalled their conversation when she offered to cook, and Regina's hesitant, "alright" as though she knew Emma was practically doomed to fail. Emma decided, if for no other reason that to preserve her pride, she would put an acceptable meal on the plate.
The butterflies that had been swirling for the entire week made themselves especially present when she heard a short but prominent knock on her door. As Emma walked, and forced her feet to move in the seldom worn heels, she thought about the fact that this was actually happening, and ignored the slight ache in the small of her back from the cleaning she had done throughout the morning.
She opened the door, and decided she would never get used to seeing this woman's face after not seeing her. The first moment always made her smile and marvel at the fact that she was always the picture of put-together. And today, Emma decided, she was so much more than put-together. The emerald dress she had worn covered her chest and cut off just above her knees. It really wasn't revealing anything Emma hadn't seen, and yet, Emma couldn't take her eyes off of her.
"Hi," Emma sighed, ignoring the butterflies that were now actively fluttering with no mind to the fact that she needed to be a functioning, speaking, responding adult.
The next move happened quickly, and as Regina entered the apartment, their lips touched in a purely innocent kiss of greeting. Regina tried to ignore how routine and easy it felt to greet Emma this way, and was doing her best to remember what people are supposed to talk about on dates. She was having considerable difficulty considering what Emma was wearing.
She had only ever seen the blonde in her leather jacket and either jeans or dress pants. She was not prepared for what the body hugging, scooped-neck, fire engine red dress was doing to her palms and her ability to speak. Regina, knowing herself as a confident, capable woman, found herself utterly speechless.
"Please make yourself comfortable," Emma said, suddenly hyper-aware of her tiny, homey apartment as compared to the glamour of the mansion. She willed herself not to be self-conscious. Though it was small, Emma had made it her home, and though it wasn't a mansion, it was her space.
Regina noticed nothing but how immaculately clean the apartment seemed to be and wondered how long Emma must have spent cleaning it. She also noticed the light scent of garlic in the air and was impressed and flattered with how much work Emma had put into this evening. Though Regina wouldn't admit it, she had tried on 6 different combinations before she chose this dress. Based on Emma's choice or attire, and also the look on her face when she opened the door, she knew it was a good choice. And she hasn't even seen the back yet, Regina thought.
Emma retrieved wine glasses she had set aside for the occasion and invited Regina to sit in her living room, which was really just a few steps from the corner kitchen, but Regina nodded and sat on the couch. Emma enjoyed how, even sitting on a couch, her posture was somehow impeccable. This also gave Emma a chance to notice the back of Regina's dress and she just barely kept herself from audibly exhaling, and instead, took a large gulp of wine. The dress hung low on the woman's back and the line of her spine on perfectly olive skin made it hard for Emma to focus. Coming around the couch she was able to look at Regina again.
"So…Emma, you have a lovely home," Regina started. God, this was kind of awkward. Things had always gone so smoothly before. Was agreeing to this date a mistake? Was Henry okay? Should she be home in case he needs her?
"Thank you." Emma looked at her and knew that there were way too many nerves for her to carry on a conversation, so she moved herself closer to Regina and placed a hand on her arm. The touch calmed her, and she continued; "So. I don't know about you but it's been a long time since I've been on a date and I really want this to go well. I'm a bit nervous though, so I think I have an idea."
Regina was simply enchanted by Emma. The blonde was speaking quickly and as though she was convincing herself as well as her date, and she found herself too intrigued to stop what happened next. Emma leaned in and placed her lips on Regina's slightly smiling ones, and after a moment, both women took the kiss in stride and deepened it. Regina wasn't sure who moved first, but their mouths opened slightly more, and as Emma's tongue lightly intruded, Regina received her and yet, reciprocated.
Regina's hands found the spot that they always seemed to and were immersed in Emma's hair, which thankfully, was being worn down again. She felt Emma's hands move to her open back and smiled to herself. Definitely the right choice. Emma felt her heart begin to pound and her skin getting warmer and decided that it was time for her to stop the make-out session on the couch considering Regina hadn't been there even 5 minutes, but god the deep and barely audible sound Regina was making made it really difficult to stop. Reluctantly, Emma pulled away and noted that though her heart was still pounding, the butterflies in her stomach were gone and she felt considerably less nervous. Seeing Regina's red lipstick no longer perfectly placed, Emma smiled as she used her thumb to lessen the damage.
"Oops…" Emma muttered, smiling, "Can't say I'm sorry though."
"That's one way to start a date," Regina said, laughing, "but somehow, I actually do feel better." She took a sip of her wine, a rather unladylike gulp really, and sat back against the couch. "So Emma, when was your last date?"
Emma too had begun drinking her wine, but stayed near Regina with the skin of her thigh in contact with Regina's leg. "To be honest, I don't have the best dating history. I've always been alone and I do well that way. I mean, I went out with a guy in University, and had a few bar-night hook-ups before that, but really the last time I was on a date, I went home early because he drank too much at our pre-dinner drinks-date and he didn't make it to dinner."
Regina laughed at that, but apologetically, as Emma continued. "Aside from him, there was this woman. I met her at school too though she was older than me. We had a lot of mutual friends and she really was amazing. But nothing ever happened and while she always spent time telling me about the awful girls who were breaking her heart, she could never see me as anything other than 'Emma, her childish friend'. So in theory, we never went on a date, but she was the last person I really was attracted to, before you."
"Was she the only woman you've been interested in?" Regina asked, intrigued.
"Well, I've been attracted to many women, but nothing has ever happened." Emma said. Regina liked how Emma confessed it, but in no way asked for pity or attention. "How about you, what's your story in the dating scene?" Emma was glad to redirect the conversation off of herself.
"Well you're going to want to get comfortable for this." Regina started. "My mother had many men she approved of as partners for me, and even had me betrothed to one at one point. He was from a powerful family and us together would have been a 'power couple'. I was 22 years old for god's sake. I had just finished college. And it wasn't that these men weren't pleasant or decent men, and yes I can definitely say that they were attractive. My mother needed to ensure an attractive lineage." Emma listened, fascinated with this unexpected piece of Regina's past. She touched Regina's hand when she could sense hesitation.
"It's okay, Regina. If you're not ready to talk about it, we don't have to."
"No no… to be honest Emma, I feel very comfortable with you, and I feel like I can trust you." Emma nodded at the words, sincerity written all over her face, as if in some way Regina would understand how genuine she felt. After a deep breath, Regina continued. "There was one man in particular, the one I was to marry. To the world he was perfect, but behind closed doors, not so much. After one of our first dates, when I still barely knew him, he got a little bit too physical. And didn't understand the word "no". Regardless of his lovely jawline, and $1000 suit, I wasn't ready for that-"
"Regina, you don't need to explain why you wanted to say no. That asshole shouldn't have required any explanation. If you said no, you said no. Simple as that."
Regina smiled at Emma's apparent fury at the man. "He forced himself on me that night. He told me I would love it. Thankfully, a swift kick to the genitals with the beautiful, beautiful Louboutins my mother had bought to impress his family had impaled him long enough for me to get out of there. I got into my car, drove back to the city, and had no intention of ever leaving again, until my mother passed. After that, romantic relationships kind of took a back seat to the fact that I wanted to be a mother."
Regina seemed to shake off that dark portion of her past as she took another sip of wine and continued. "But while I was in the city, there was a woman. I met her and it changed my life. I had never considered being with a woman and this one, well, was truly something. She was the first person who made me believe that I could be whatever I wanted, independent of my mother's wishes. She had a long line of history with other women but she always told me I was different, and she and I could really be something, should I ever show interest. Little did she know, I was interested. So I told her, and the months of tension culminated into what really did feel like something amazing. Part of me wonders now if I enjoyed it so much because I knew my mother would despise it. Just a few days after my confession, she nonchalantly told me she was dating someone she met, and how amazing this woman was, and how happy she was that we were friends."
Emma sat dumbfounded. How could someone have Regina Mills…Regina Fucking Mills, confessing her emotions to them, and leave her in the dust? Emma was angry about so much of what she had heard. That woman, Regina's mother, and all of those men were idiotic enough to treat this amazing woman as though she meant nothing. Emma leaned forward and in an act of kindness and innocence that slightly melted Regina's heart, stroked one side of her face with her hand, and kissed her cheek. Her hand remained on the impossibly soft bridge of Regina's neck.
"I know I'm only starting to know you, Regina, but you're an unbelievably strong person. And you're truly beautiful. I can't change your past, but I'm hoping that maybe I can change your future."
With the moment hanging heavily in the air, both women only just noticed the white cloud beginning to fill the kitchen.
"Oh, shit!" Emma popped off the couch and half-walked half-ran to the kitchen (instantly regretting the heels she was wearing) as she removed the now blackened chicken. "Fucking fuuuck," Emma sighed. Regina bit her lip to not laugh at Emma who was clearly broken-hearted over her failed attempt at dinner. Regina could tell from one look at the result that Emma had likely set the oven too high, but kept that piece of information to herself while Emma tried to pull herself together.
"Regina, I'm so sorry. Honestly I feel like such an idiot. You make food for you and Henry and everyone, including me, so easily and I just wanted to make this for you and make it perfect and I fucked it up." Emma set the blackened food in the sink and gripping the countertop, kept her back to Regina as she barely held tears at bay. Regina, taking pity on a distraught Emma, moved to her and did yet another thing that surprised even herself. She wrapped her arms around Emma's waist, and enjoying the height of the blonde thanks to the heels, set her chin on her shoulder. It was oddly homey and comfortable, but Regina continued.
"Emma, you musn't worry about a burned dish. I promise you it is not the end of the world." Loving the feel of the other woman against her, and the tickle of Emma's hair on her cheek, she kept talking in the hushed tone she had started with. "Look at me, Emma."
Emma turned in Regina's arms now, but kept her face down. Something she had learned as a child was to not show when you were defeated. Pull yourself together and disguise it by the time you look back up. Regina took her chin in her hand and brought her eyes to the slightly watery green ones looking back at her.
"Considering we started this date with a kiss worthy of the ending of a date, I say we throw the hypothetical rule book out the window. That's seemed to have worked for us thus far, correct?" Emma sighed because she knew Regina had a point. "So I have a proposition for us too, and no, it's not quite the same as yours." Emma smiled at that. "Tonight, we order a pizza, I know a great place in town that delivers by the way, we take off our high heels, we sit back on that couch, put some random movie on the television, and I will try extremely hard not to kiss you. And just a hint, I won't succeed."
"Is this a dream?" Emma joked, "Honestly this is some kind of fantasy or something. But I definitely need to open a window so my whole place doesn't smell like smoke, and I'm willing to bet you've been itching to check your phone since you got here?"
"Am I that transparent?" Regina groaned, laughing.
"Only to me, dear. But yes Regina, your proposition sounds wonderful." She pulled her closer for a quick kiss before taking her shoulders and saying, "Go check on him, I'll order the pizza."
"How did I not know this heaven existed in a 5 minute radius?" Emma asked, stomach completely full of the pizza she and Regina had attacked. Though really, Regina still managed to eat pizza politely and Emma was the one who was pretty much a mess, but she didn't have to admit that.
After a quick text message conversation with Henry, Regina was much more at ease and enjoyed the comfort level she and Emma already shared. Regina eyed their shared-wine bottle number three…four? no, three, which was nearly empty, and she sat back against the couch, this time, bringing her legs up to curl under her. She was feeling a very pleasant buzz and was more relaxed than she'd been in a long time. She knew she'd need to slow down soon so she could still complete the ten minute walk home without making a fool of herself in front of anyone from town, but for now she could just sit in Emma's company.
"Do you ever get lonely?" Regina asked. Where did that come from? I had been thinking it but apparently I'm a bit more drunk than I thought considering it just popped out.
Emma seemed un-phased by the question and looking equally glossy-eyed, answered her thoughtfully.
"Yeah. Growing up in foster homes, I was hardly ever alone. And now silence is kind of weird. To be honest, I've been considering getting a dog. I always wanted a dog as a kid. Kids need dogs." She drained the remainder of the bottle into hers and Regina's glasses. Emma looked at the woman across her on the couch and smiled, seeing that Regina didn't realize that her dress was definitely higher on her thighs than when she stood. She saw her feet sitting lightly, and Emma took the closest one in her hand and began rubbing the arch as she spoke. "I never knew what kind I wanted, or if I'd rescue it or if I'd get a puppy, but I just know that I always wanted one. Did you ever have a dog?"
Regina's head had started to loll backwards at the pressure of Emma's hands on her arch, but found it in her to respond. "No, my mother saw no use for pets. They'd just get in the way." She sighed as Emma switched to her other foot.
"Did you want a pet?" Emma asked. She couldn't resist, and began trailing her fingers slightly higher on Regina's foot, to her ankle, and felt an irresistibly smooth leg.
"Doesn't every child at some point?" She countered. Regina couldn't help but wonder how Emma's hands would feel elsewhere considering how skilled they were at currently massaging the knots out of her calves, who knew calves had knots?, and knew there was no more space for her to talk. She pulled her legs back and at Emma's glance at her movement, rearranged herself and got within an inch of Emma's mouth. "While this conversation is riveting, Miss Swan, I have decided that I'm finished talking, and would rather my mouth be otherwise occupied."
Emma would have laughed, or tried to say something back, but Regina captured her mouth and she responded immediately. This kiss, again, was the same but different, and heated quickly as hands that had been hesitant when sober were now starting to travel a lot more freely. Emma pulled away after the burning of her skin, and the heat in a very particular spot, was becoming unbearable.
"Regina?" She started. Thankfully, Regina was as out of breath as she, but the separation of their mouths led Regina's mouth to Emma's neck. Her head moved back to give her access and she shivered at the sensation of Regina speaking against her skin. And then she realized what she had said and got impossibly hotter.
"…Bedroom?"
Emma brought her mouth back to hers, and took her hands, guiding her up. As they got up and walked down the short hallway to Emma's room, Emma noticed a slight imbalance in both of their walks. But then they were in her room and Regina had her back against the wall, and she was pressing herself into her in all the right ways. Emma, uncomfortable with being too passive or giving up too much control, responded back and Regina easily stepped back until she fell backwards onto Emma's bed, with Emma immediately on top of her, providing the sensation from the wall, but horizontally. Emma's mouth moved down her neck and she vaguely wondered if this was the right thing to do. But the responses she was receiving, and Regina's nails on her shoulders, and her urging, kept Emma from pausing.
Emma's hands were occupied with Regina's thighs, which she discovered, were equally as soft as her lower legs, and while her hands went higher, Regina kissed her with more urgency. The light tracing of Emma's hands compared to the fervor of her mouth made Regina stumble, and overwhelmed, let Emma guide her. Finally, Emma's hand brushed over the silk covering her center, and feeling the heat and response, both women moaned at the almost contact. Emma, getting impatient but loving the responses, took her hands back down and up again, this time sliding a finger just under the silk into the overwhelmingly wet and hot area that had been long overlooked. Her own sigh was cut-off by Regina, who now, was red-faced and had grabbed Emma's hand and stilled it.
"Stop. Stop, please Emma, stop." Her breathing had changed from what had matched Emma's to what Emma now recognized as hyperventilating. Her own arousal was quickly diminished as she put her hands beside Regina's face, and though she had stopped touching her, she stayed atop her and looked into her eyes.
"I stopped Regina, it's alright. Come back to me, it's alright. I'm sorry, are you okay? Did I hurt you?"
Emma above her was nothing but concern, and Regina who had managed to slow her breathing was finally coming back down.
"Emma I'm sorry, you don't have to apologize." Regina was embarrassed, but she knew not to feel shame with Emma, it wouldn't get her anywhere. "I'm not hurt, I'm sorry. I was there with you, I was, I swear, I really did want to…and then it hit me that we've been drinking and things have been going so well and it felt so amazing but …this isn't how our first time should be…I don't know, I'm sorry."
Regina reattached her lips to Emma's but Emma slightly separated them, maintaining their bodily distance but removing her lips. She looked into the brown eyes that were so conflicted and knew that Regina had been right.
"You're right. I'm sorry too. We rushed that a lot and yeah we're not exactly sober and this probably would have been really fast and Regina, you deserve more than that. We, or whatever this is, deserves more than that."
Regina sighed at the cooling temperature of her body and the lost opportunity.
"I did want to Emma, I swear. I do want to."
"Trust me, I know." Regina wondered what she meant, but then she remembered where Emma had last touched and she felt her cheeks heating up to approximately the colour of Emma's dress. Emma laughed lightly.
"Stop, you cannot be embarrassed about this. I'm flattered, and I'm certain that I have the same situation happening down there too." Regina looked up at her in shock, accentuated by the red eyes of someone who had drank a bottle of wine entirely too quickly. Emma laughed again. "Regina, I'm glad we talked about this, and I'm glad we stopped when we did. I don't want to rush you into anything. We'll get there when you're ready, alright?"
Regina sincerely appreciated the woman beside her, especially for how she was acting now, and nodded.
"I should probably go," Regina said, as she slowly rose from Emma's bed.
"Regina? Listen…I want you to stay." Emma said. Regina was confused. Had she not just said they weren't rushing into anything? Emma proceeded, "I promise, there will be nothing that you haven't approved, I'll behave. I don't want tonight to end like this when it was so perfect before. And I don't want you walking home intoxicated or going home to that huge empty house tonight. I realize you did it for like two years without me here…but also…I don't want to be alone tonight either."
Regina weighed her options and decided that putting on her heels at this point would seriously suck. And she knew she could trust Emma even though she didn't trust easily.
"…Alright," Regina resigned, "Can I borrow something to sleep in?"
Emma got into her usual boxers and tank, and offered Regina one of her big t-shirts from some work barbecue a few years ago that had been washed too many times and was oddly comforting, as well as some extra cotton boxers. Regina couldn't remember a time she had slept in such an odd combination of clothing, considering she had always slept in silks which her mother had determined the only sleepwear appropriate. But something about the clothes that screamed Emma on every inch of her body was more comforting than any of the silks her mother had stocked in her room. The routine seemed easy, Emma supplied her an extra toothbrush and made them both drink a huge glass of water, and they got into Emma's bed, in an entirely different way than they had before. Regina didn't sleep well in beds other than her own, but wrapped in Emma's arms, feeling her legs tangled with her own, and the blonde's breath on her neck, she drifted off with almost no difficulty.
"'Night, Emma," she sighed.
Emma just hummed in response, placing a gentle kiss on the revealed portion of Regina's neck and she nuzzled in, enjoying the woman's scent contrasting with the familiar scent of her own bed as she too drifted off to sleep.