Chapter 5

"Cristina!" Meredith waved her arm happily as she saw the woman with wild curls step out from the security check. Cristina grinned as she ran to her best friend and gave her a huge hug.

"Is this our little princess Ellis? Hello princess! I thought you would bring Zola and Bailey here! Where are they?" Cristina crouched down and played with baby Ellis, who was sitting in the baby trolley, drooling and giggling when Cristina grimaced at her.

"Dr Yang, children nowadays have schools to attend. They should not be free at a normal Thursday afternoon." Meredith rolled her eyes at her friend.

"And by the way, I thought Preston is coming with you?"

"Don't call him Preston! I am gonna vomit because you called him that. He got caught up in… something. So he will come later."

"Let me guess, you are still a dirty mistress aren't you?"

"No, we are nothing like that. We had a deal. I told him not to leave his wife, that doesn't make me a dirty mistress."

"Whatever you say. Now are we going to leave the airport or are we going to stand here for the rest of the day? We are going to have a dinner party for you."

"Wow, really? A dinner party? Who is coming? You, Ellis, Zola and Bailey?"

"Can you stop your sarcasm for one second? Callie, Jackson, Arizona, Bailey and Webber are all coming, Alex will be coming with Jo. I am not sure about April, she and Jackson can't be in the same room lately. Maggie is off today, so she should be able to join. Amelia and Owen had a surgery later today, let's see if they can be home on time to join us." Meredith counted as she walk Cristina to her car.

"You've got to fill me in with all the latest, juiciest gossips. Look at all the things I missed when I was gone! God, I love Seattle."

"What is going on outside? Is that Owen yelling just now?" Meredith looked at her friend curiously. It is unusual for Cristina not babbling after she saw a chaos.

"I forgot to tell you something."

"Okay, so tell me now." Meredith is completely lost now. Why exactly is Cristina hiding?

"I went to Zurich and I took over Burke's institute."

"Yeah I know that, I brought your plane tickets when you left."

"Oh shut up, let me finish. Alright, so he was supposed to move to Milan after he perform a surgery on the last patient of his trial. And that night, we had a farewell dinner or something, and we drank, a lot. So… things happen when people were drunk, you know that right?"

"Oh my god. You SLEPT with BURKE? AGAIN? After he LEFT you at the altar? And make your LIFE miserable? Wow!" Derek's death seemed to be taken away from Meredith's head temporarily, as she was so shocked by what she just heard.

"Hey! No judgement here okay? You are supposed to be listening quietly!"

"Okay! Continue." Meredith looked like she just saw a ghost.

"Where was I? Oh right, so we… had sex. I know we made a mistake, and I tried to end this thing between us, but I just can't… let go. So that's what we are now. Some kind of secret lover." Cristina massaged her forehead while summarizing what happened in the past year to Meredith.

Meredith grasped in shock, she always know Cristina had never really forget about Burke. After all, they were going to get married when he left her, he must mean something to her. But Meredith thought she will never be with Burke, aka the man who humiliated her at her own wedding, ever again. And especially after Cristina married Owen.

"Then? Why are you telling me this?" Mer was clearly still in shock, as her brain

stopped functioning properly.

"I am telling you this because he is here. Burke is here. Mer, your jaw is going to fall off you know? He heard me on the phone with Alex, and he said something about being a friend of Derek's and something like he has to be here… So now he is here with me, and just now Owen punched him in the face, literally. That's it, no big deal."

Cristina tried to lighten up the atmosphere, but sadly Meredith wasn't faked by her. She stared at her friend who is twisting her fingers unconsciously, then she moved the edge of the bed, making space for Cristina to lie on bed with her.

"You know, I am not exactly the best adviser when it comes to relationships. But I am not blind. You feel guilty for being with Burke while you told Owen that you love him more than you love Burke before."

"I don't know what am I feeling right now. I just feel like everything is so messed up. I was here for you, and somehow I become the center of gossip."

"Cristina, I am your person. I know you better than yourself. You know you didn't really broke up with Owen, you gave him hope when you left, you told him you will always love him. And he really waited for you. We thought he is going to be with Amelia, but he did not, I guess that is because of you. While he was suffering and waiting for you, you are with Burke. You were happy when he was miserable. So I think you feel guilty."

Cristina looked at Meredith quietly, trying to figure out something to say that she is wrong. But she couldn't. She know that Meredith was right. She feel guilty because she is with Burke again, because she hurt a man who loved her with all his heart.

"Fine," Cristina gave up and said, "I feel terrible. I hurt Owen and I left him here, miserable and alone. What can I do?"

"I would tell you to talk to him. Give him the closure he deserve, and let him move on. "

"It is so awkward! Me telling my ex-husband I am now in love with my ex-fiance?"

"I know! But you have to do it. Cristina, Owen was starting a relationship with Amelia when you were gone. They were fine before, but suddenly they ended their thing. He didn't tell us why, but Amelia said it's something to do with you. She said Owen still thinks there is a chance that you may comeback and you two will be happily ever after. So he felt like cheating on you when he started to have feeling for Amelia. Now, we both know that's not gonna happen, but Owen didn't know! You have to clear things with him, or he could never be happy. As his friend, I hate to see that." Meredith said with a serious tone. Derek is gone, she felt she have the responsibility to look out for his sister.

"I will go find Owen now. Are you okay being alone for a while?"

"I am not a baby! Just go, I am fine. I won't kill myself or disappear."

Cristina looked at Meredith worriedly, but Meredith smiled and squeezed her hand, reassuring Cristina that she will be fine on her own.

"I will be right back." She said as she walked out the room.

Meredith's smile faded. She know she wouldn't really kill herself, but she has no idea how her life should carry on. Derek was gone for half a year last year, but she knew he was somewhere out there, and she knew he would comeback sometimes. That is fine. But now, he is gone. Actually gone. Never-coming-back gone. The problem of being with someone too long is that you no longer have the courage to live alone. She wanted to disappear from the world, the world he no longer exists.

She stared at the window blankly and whispered, "Derek... What should I do?"