Chapter 6

"Come in, just leave your luggage at the entrance, we can handle those later." Meredith opened the door for Cristina while kicking a teddy bear away.

"It haven't changed a bit! Can I stay in my old room?" Cristina walked around the living room and said.

"Meredith?" A male voice suddenly appeared and scared the two of them.

"Oh my god! Owen? Why are you here?" Meredith was completely shocked by the presence of Owen in the house, which should be empty at this time.

"Um, Amelia was dragged into a long surgery just now. She won't be able to come home anytime soon, so I thought I can just come and pick up some clothes for her." Owen explained to Meredith as he showed the clothes he was holding to her.

"That's… that's very sweet." Meredith gave him a smirk.

"I am going back to the hospital now. See you later." He found himself an excuse to escape from all the awkwardness, and quickly walked towards the door through the living room, where he sees Cristina standing there.

"Cristina, welcome back to Seattle! I will catch up with you later." He smiled at her as he walks out from the house.

"You know, you never tell me what did you say to Owen 2 years ago, when he found out the thing between you and Burke." Meredith leaned against the door frame, expecting an answer from Cristina.

"Do you remember what did I say to you when you asked me the same question 2 years ago?"

"You tell me it's none of my business."

"Mer, it is still none of your business."

"It's for your hand." Cristina found Owen sitting alone on a bench outside the ER entrance. She walked towards him and handed him a can of coke. He took it from her and put it on his knuckle, which is now all red because of punching Burke in his face. She opened another can of diet soda and began sipping it.

Owen stared at her, looking at her while she drink the soda. After she finished, he started speaking.

"How long did you two started seeing each other?"

"A few weeks after I settled down in Zurich, I think."

"Did you… leave Seattle for him?"

Cristina bit her lips. Honestly, she had no answers for this question. She doesn't know the answers too. She WAS leaving because Zurich have something Seattle couldn't offer her: unlimited funding, cutting-edge technology, talented cardio surgeons, her own hospital… She WAS going to Zurich for these.

But now, after she started her relationship with Burke, she couldn't tell whether HE was one of the reasons for her to leave. If HE is, how dominant is this reason? She keep questioning herself, but still, she got no answers.

"I wish I could tell you no. But I hate lying to you. I think he is one of the reasons for me to leave. But I don't know how large that part is. I couldn't figure that out. Everything is just… a mess." Cristina admitted honestly. Owen closed his eyes for a brief moment after she replied.

"I see, so you are in love with him all over again? This interesting, because in that case I don't know what can we talk about anymore." He stood up and wanted to go back into the hospital, but his wrist was grabbed by Cristina.

"Please, I wanted to talk to you. I wanted a closure for the both of us, so we can both put the past behind us and move on." Cristina looked at him with pledging eyes.

"Judge by what I see, I think you have already moved on." He took a deep breathe, controlling his emotion, and he resume.

"You said you love me more than him, you said you would always love me, and I trusted you. I stayed in Seattle and I waited for you like what you've asked. I do that because I believe you would come back to me one day. I believe you still love me even you were in Zurich. Cristina… I saved you from your PTSD, I waited for you after the plane crash, and all he has done was hurting you. And you chose him. I am really an idiot aren't I?" He was frustrated. He could never love another woman as much as he had loved her. He gave her everything she wants, he let her go for her happiness, and all he had wanted was her love. All of a sudden, that man, Preston Burke came back from nowhere and marched into her life again, and he had her love.

Cristina was startled by what she heard. It was never her intention to hurt him. She loves Owen, just not as much as she loved Burke. When she looks at Owen, all she could remember is their fights and him being angry at her for abandoning their baby. Everything is just painful. But with Burke, there were hurtful moments, but also happy memories like how they danced in the apartment after his morning run, how they went out for a date and a guy ended up in the OR… Memories with Burke are always sweet when she recalls them. She guess that means she loved Burke more.

"Owen… I am really sorry for hurting you. I… I know I SHOULD love you. I know he was married and I should not love him. But… we can't control who we fall in love with. I never know I still love him until I saw him again. I am sorry I can't give you what you want, but I really want you to be happy, and that is also something I can't give you." She looked at him in the eyes and confess her feelings to him. Then they fall into silence.

"Cristina… If he hurts you, tell me and I will kick his ass for you." Owen gave her a hug and whispered into her ears. She giggled and hugged him back.

"I heard from Meredith that… you and Shepherd's little sister? She is good for you Owen. Don't let her slip." Cristina thought of the gossip she heard from Meredith and asked.

"We are not there yet." He blushed while denying his relationship with Amelia.

"Aw, don't be shy! I wanted you to be happy. Really." She puts on a more serious face, and stared at him.

"I will, don't worry." He stroked her hair and gave her his warm, gentle smile.