A.N.: If anything looks familiar, it's because while I'm drawing heavily from the manga, I'm also pulling a bit from the anime. Here's the next bit.

So here I am, staring down at my body and the crowd gathered around it, grinding my teeth in frustration. The ambulance was just now pulling up, drawing even more attention to the scene.

"Fucking rubber-neckers," I growled, not realizing I was speaking out loud. "It's a death, not a circus side show."

"Bingo!"

Now, I just want to make it clear, I did NOT scream. At all. Not even a little. No. I did, however, raise my fists and give a very realistic attack-cry to whoever it was that snuck up on me.

Blue hair, pink eyes, and a matching pink kimono, purple haze, riding an oar. Wait, what?

"Incredible! Few people realize they're dead before a ferry girl tells them!"

"Er, who-?"

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself! My name's Botan, chief ferry girl of the River Styx. I've got many names, but they all mean death in some way, shape or form."

"Aren't you a little too cheerful to be death incarnate?"

She laughed. "I get that a lot. And I can see that my book was right about you. You're not at all afraid of me."

"You got a book about me?" This I had to see.

"Yup!"

"What else does it say?"

"Let's see," smiling (and boy, was that smile getting on my nerves) she reached into her sleeve and pulled out a little black book, flipping to a page near the middle. "Here it says: Yusuke Urameshi, just turned fourteen. Crude and violent, impatient and reckless, has sticky fingers and a stupid brain." Say what? "Fights, extorts, shoplifts, smokes, drinks, gambles, has a reserved seat in the guidance counselors office-"

"That's not true!"

She looked at me over the top of her book. I scowled. "The guidance counselor hates my guts and hasn't let me near his office in four months. There is no way I could have a reserved seat there!"

"I see." Dammit, now she's looking at me like I'm going to attack her. What does she know, anyway? Even Keiko knows I don't fight non-combatants. Sheesh. I do have some morals, you know.

"Why are you here again?"

"Oops, I almost forgot. I'm here to escort you the afterlife."

"Already? Don't I get a haunting period, or something?"

"Nope! There're actually a few issues regarding your death that need to be cleared up before anything else, and we don't have a lot of time. So hold on and off we go!"

I had half an instant to grab the tail of her oar before she took off, flying fast enough to give most jets speed envy.

And then the sky split open.

"HOLY SH-"

Everything went nuts. Purple and neon green and butter yellow and up switched with down and I could have sworn I was going backwards for a minute. Then normal came back. Mostly. The sky was now yellow, instead of blue. There were no plants anywhere, but a very long river cut the land in half. It was very noticeable, even from the insane height we must have been at. And let's not forget the fricking-huge wall straight ahead. I mean really! Compensation, much?

We landed, with me following Botan like a lost puppy through the maze that she referred to as the Gates of Judgment. Everywhere we went, there were these brightly colored creatures wearing animal skins running around with gigantic stacks of paper. Specie aside, it looked like the stock exchange.

After walking for ages, we finally came to a set of doors that didn't have someone running through every two seconds. It was here that Botan turned to speak to me for the first time since landing.

"This, Yusuke, is the office for my boss. His name is Prince Enma Daioh, jr., and unless you want to be dropped straight into Hell, I would suggest you show him the respect due his station."

That rang a few bells. This Prince must look stupid somehow, since Botan took the time to remind me to be polite. I found out why when we passed through.

"Ah, Botan, there you are. I confess I wasn't expecting you for a while yet."

As it turned out, Prince Enma Daioh, jr. was very young. As in, "That's him?! That's your boss, this itty bitty toddler?!"

Oh, he didn't like the comparison. "I'll have you know Yusuke, that in addition to knowing the greatest secrets of the universe, I am mature enough not to sell them to the highest bidder." Ouch. "Now, I'm sure you're wondering why you're here, instead of just passing on to the afterlife. Simply put, we don't have a place ready for you. With your track record as a thug, no one had any idea you would even attempt to save that kid's life. The fact that you succeeded with no thought to your own welfare is an incredible mark in your favor. So, after conferring with some higher ups, it was decided to allow you to take the test to return to life."

It couldn't be that easy. "What's the catch, Enma?"

"Yusuke!" Botan really didn't like my disrespect, and slapped the back of my head. I hardly noticed. Keiko hits much harder.

"Call me Koenma. And the catch is this: you need to hatch a spirit egg. In order to hatch it, you need to keep it with you at all times, allowing it to feed off the energy produced by your spirit."

"What kind of animal is going to hatch?"

He stared at me, hesitating for a split second. This was going to be bad. "That depends on you. The creature will feed off your deeds and emotions. Positive deeds will create a benign spirit beast which will aid you in regaining your body. Negative deeds will create a monster that will devour you, body and soul. I shouldn't have to tell you to behave yourself."

"And I shouldn't have to tell you that you can't look over glasses that you aren't wearing. Makes you look stupid." Botan got me in the back of the skull again. Still doesn't bother me, especially in the face of what the toddler just said.

Koenma frowned behind his binky, but didn't rise to the bait. Instead, he pulled a gold egg out of the top drawer in his desk.

"Take him back to the Living World, Botan. The egg requires time to hatch."

Halfway out the door, Koenma called after us. I would recognize the mocking tone of passive revenge anywhere. "Oh, before I forget--accepting the egg allows your heart to restart. Be sure to stop your mother from destroying your body!"

Fucking hell!!