My Wedding Day
Today I am getting married. I am suppose to not worry about anything and let others make sure everything goes just as planned. I am not sure I can do that though. I am always the one that takes care of everything and everyone. How am I suppose to relax, when there is so much that can go wrong.
"Katniss, Katniss, Wake up there is so much to do. Wake up."
I hear Delly, I shut my eyes tighter, this was the first day I slept past sunrise and now I much get up. Wedding is at 2. The sheet covering me is yanked off.
"Come on sleepy head. It's already 8am."
"8? Delly we don't have to be there until 2 and remember there is no church to get there before the men."
"I know, but my house is closer to the meadow, so we need to go there to get ready."
I haven't been to their house, but I know where it is. It's close to where I lived before my dad died. It's less than a two minute walk to the meadow, she's right we should go there.
"The guys are getting ready at Gale's. He lives two streets over from me now."
"Ok, just let me shower and we can go."
"OK, we will be waiting downstairs."
I shower quickly and even though Peeta says he is not expecting anything from me, I shave my legs, something I don't normally keep up with. My mother always keeps them in here, but I have never had much use for them. It was Johanna that reminded me to shave my legs. Actually her words were. "Make everything hairless, guys like that." I have no idea what she meant by everything, so I am going with legs and underarm and leaving it at that.
I get dressed and head downstairs. Breakfast was waiting on me, that was new. No one ever fixed me anything. I eat, we grab all of our things and head down Delly's house. I wanted an Orange dress, but no one would allow it. I made a big fuss until Haymitch gives me a look and shakes his head at me. I am not sure what all this is about with him, but something tells me to listen to him, so I do. My dress is off-white. Most women wear white, with my wedding being outside off-white was approved by the dress maker. As a compromise Delly and Anne's dresses are orange.
Delly's house reminds me of the one we use to live in. It's small one bedroom, a kitchen that opens to a family room, and a bathroom. Delly reminds us that they will only be living there a year. I think of Gale and wonder if his house is any bigger. There are bigger houses, 2, 3, even 4 bedrooms but they cost more money. I wonder just how much money, Johanna had and how much she brought with her. She seems happy enough.
"Ok, ladies time to put in your rollers."
"Johanna, hey are the men at your house?" Delly ask her.
"Yes, they got there earlier, didn't want to run into you, on the way over. Something about bad luck. Gale did the same thing on our day, must be a 12 thing."
"Finnick was that way as well. We got married in 4 you know. Peeta and John didn't come to the service. I have picture, if you want to see one day."
"I'd love to see them Annie." I tell her, I think we are getting closer, she has her good days, some days she doesn't speak at all, I think there are things about her no one but Finnick knows. Everyone has secrets though.
"Did you get married in a Church Annie?" Delly asks her.
"Oh, no we got married right outside of my parents home, on the beach. D4 is mostly on the water."
"Sounds Beautiful." I add
"Right, roller, hair now." Johanna demands.
It takes every bit of our time to get ready.
I look ready, I am in my dress. My hair is placed in a braid I have never seen by my mother. I have more makeup on than ever, thanks to Johanna and Annie, but some how I look natural. I am not ready I think. I'm still too young. This is wrong, to be forced to marry. It is my world, my life though. I know I must. I know I don't have a choice.
Haymitch comes to tell me it's time for us to go, and Johanna leaves to go ahead of us. I find myself disappointed that I haven't seen Gale today.
"Haymitch, can I talk to you?"
"Sure sweetheart, the walk to the Meadow takes 2 minutes, make it fast."
Great just what I wanted, to be rushed.
Delly, Annie and Prim walk before me, Haymitch on my side, This is probably the longest wedding isle ever.
"Haymitch, I am not ready to be married."
"We seldom are when we get called, there is nothing you can do now. I've talked to Peeta he is a good one Katniss."
He talked to Peeta? I didn't know that, when did that even happen.
"I think I know he is, I just. I don't know what I am doing."
"Act like you do, that's all that you have to do. No one really knows what they are doing at 18, sweetheart. Just act.
Act? I'm not good at that.
"I wrote you vowels"
"You what?"
"Vowels, I.. Well, I didn't but I got someone to write them. When the boy told me you were writing your own I knew you would need help. I know how you are with words."
"How am I with words?"
"Bad."
That was all that we had time for, the music started playing, a fiddle playing an old song my mother use to sing when she sang me to sleep. I sang it to Prim too. I lock eyes with Peeta and they are so blue they are almost clear. I don't realize that I am in front of the Mayor until Haymitch squeezes my hand.
"What?" I ask
Everyone laughs a little.
"I said, are you ready my dear?"
I look at Haymitch he nods, they must have asked him for his approval and he has given me to Peeta formally.
"Yes," I say and I let go of Haymitch and take the Mayor's hand. He walks me to Peeta, places my hand in his and stands in front of us.
"Friends, Family. Welcome. Today we are here to celebrate a union, between these two young people. Mr. Peeta Mellark and Ms. Katniss Everdeen. If there is anyone here who can show that either are impure speak now."
No one ever speaks, at least not in 12.
"Alright, I believe these two have written their own vowels. Katniss, Ladies first."
Great.
I feel Annie tap me and hand me cards, I hand her my flowers. These are what Haymitch had someone write for me. I read the first line, it's good, but I can not read this. I close my eyes and hand them back to Annie. I hear Haymitch growl.
"Peeta, I realize that what I had prepared was not what I want to say to you now." He smiles at me
"I Know that we are new, I know that you would not have picked me on your own. I can't tell you that we will always be happy, I can't tell you that things will always be easy. I can't tell that you will ever like everything about me. What I can tell you is that I am not an easy person to love, I am not an easy person to know and I am not an easy person to live with. But, I promise to always try my best to make you happy, I promise to always be honest with you, I promise that even when we fight I will not run, I promise that I will always be true to you, from now until forever this is my vow to you."
I'm done yet no one is saying anything. Peeta is looking at me, like he expected me to say I was surrendering myself to the Capitol instead of marring him. I know I ended it right. It was the one thing the Mayor went over with us before he agreed to marry us, so I stand there and wait. The Mayor clears his throat a full minute later.
"Peeta,?"
Peeta smiles at me and begins
"Katniss, You are right about all of that except one thing. I would have chosen you. I remember the first time I saw you. Your hair was in two braids instead of one, you had a ribbon in your hair. We were 5 and in music class, the teacher asked who knew the Valley Song, and your hand shot straight up. I heard you sing and I knew, I knew you were it for me. When school was over that day, I pointed you out to my dad, he said that he knew your mother in school, but that she was matched with another, who could also sing as beautiful as a bird. I watched you after that. I always made sure you made it home in the afternoons. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't know how. I don't know if you know this, but I put bread in your locker, I shouldn't have had your combination, but I wanted to give you things, and bread was all I had to give you. I should have just walked up to you and given it to you, but I was afraid. If I would've known that we would be matched, I would have went after you when we were 5. My heart was always yours. You have me Katniss Everdeen, you always have, and you always will. I will never let anything come between us. I will never let us go to bed angry. I promise to always try and make you the happiest women in all of the world. From now until forever, this is my vow to you."
Wow, He made that sound good. Was he telling the truth? Because if he was acting he is really good at it. I don't even remember the first day of school, or much about being 5 really.
"May we have the tokens please?" The mayor ask.
Tokens, Oh no I forgot this. I feel Annie tap me again, I turn to her and she is holding out a gold band. I look at her and raise my brow. She shakes her head, I look at the band and I remember it, it's my fathers. I blink back tears.
"Katniss place the token onto Peeta's left hand and repeat after me."
"I Katniss Everdeen, take you Peeta Mellark to be my life long match."
I repeat him and then Peeta turns to Finnick and he places the a band on my left hand. It's not his mother's Delly has that. I am not sure where this band came from, but I can tell its been handed down, I need to remember to ask Peeta. Then I hear Peeta say.
"I Peeta Mellark, take you Katniss Everdeen to be my life long match."
We are holding hands and I look at our intertwined hands. He's so much fairer than I am, I am darker always outside and dark hair. I am sure if Peeta was outside more he would be red, not tan. With his blond locks he would reflect the sun's rays.
The Mayor begins to speak again.
"It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you the new, Mr. And Mrs. Peeta Mellark. You may now kiss your bride."
The kiss soft and quick, its perfect.
Married, I am Married. Everyone claps and Peeta grabs my hand and lifts it above our heads. I look over at him, wondering again what part of this is real.
Our guest are not in rows of seats, instead they are at tables and we have our family table set up, We take a couple of pictures and we eat fruit, cheese and bread. I didn't want a full meal at our wedding. Some people like Delly do that, others like myself and Johanna don't, but music in 12 is a must. We have amazing friends that play amazing music. I dance with Peeta first its slow and I do not know the song. Then Haymitch and my mother and Prim. I even get in half a dance with Gale. There has been so much left unsaid between us. I wonder if we will ever get to be alone again. I think probably not.
I see Bran hand Peeta something, I know its not the bread for the toasting, Bran told me where that is at the bakery, in the apartment, by the open oven. Peeta smiles at his father and hugs him, then he searches the crowd, I know he is looking for me, it's time for us to go. I feel unsure. I look over at Gale, who is dancing with Johanna, they look happy. John and Delly, Finnick and Anne. They all look happy. I hope I look like that to the everyone else.
I look for Peeta and I catch his eye, he heads my way.
"Hey you,"
"Hey, yourself."
"I don't want to rush you, but we need to go soon."
"Just let me tell my mother and we can head out."
"OK, if its all the same to you I don't feel the need to make a speech about it."
I smile at him.
"That sounds wonderful. Meet me by the last table."
Peeta nods and I go find my mom.
"Mom.. MOM,"
I interrupt her dance with Prim.
"Katniss, is everything ok?"
"Yeah, Peeta and I are going, and I wanted to tell you, we aren't making an announcement."
She pulls me close, and whispers to me
"Katniss, I slipped some Condoms in your bag. I know you know what they are for. I know they say you have to be pregnant with in a year. Draw that year out if you can, babies are a lot of work. I love you."
I pull back and look at my mother.
"I will." I say and walk back to where Peeta is waiting on me.
"All set?" He ask
"Yup, you?"
"Yup."
Peeta holds my hand and we head to the bakery. We take a short cut through the back yards of the common housing. We don't want to walk in the streets in out best clothing. Cars are not something we need in 12. Officials have them, although I am not sure why, you can walk wherever you really need to go.
We arrive at the bakery and head to the back. It's closed for the day. When I enter the upstairs apartment I smell a wonderful smell.
"Is that my stew?"
"Yes, dad made it for us. He knows it is your new favorite. He said we would want dinner."
"Well he was right, it smells wonderful."
Peeta laughs a little. and I smile at him. Maybe this won't be so hard after all.
I go to my room to change and I find the door locked.
"Peeta, can you come here?"
"Everything ok?"
"My room is locked, My mom said she brought my clothes over today."
"Right, I didn't think of that, um well, this was a surprise for later, but I guess we have to do it now."
I'm confused, but don't say anything.
Peeta unlocks the door and I step into the room, everything I wanted is here. Prim must have come with mother and they set it up today. I turn to Peeta and I don't know what to say.
"Peeta, this is. This is wonderful, thank you."
"It was my pleasure. Get changed and I will meet you in the kitchen."
"Wait, I. I need help, can you get my zipper?"
"I , I . um Yeah, yeah, of course."
Peeta crosses the room to me and my heart speeds up, I realize we are standing in what will be our bedroom we will have sex in this room, soon, and I am asking him to take my clothes off.
Peeta is a complete gentleman, unzips my without touching my skin at all, steps away. I am not sure if I am grateful or disappointed, maybe a little of both.
I change and hang my dress up. I don't know if I should sell it in the dress shop or keep it. Maybe keep it until the next match day. I head into the kitchen and find Peeta there waiting on me, having already fixed our bowls of stew.
I sit.
"Is Bran joining us?"
"He's staying at Finnick's actually. Until Monday."
"Oh, he didn't have to do that."
"I told him not to, but he insisted. I know I said we would share the room eventually, but I need to move in there by Sunday night."
"Of course, that's fine. You can move your things over tonight if you want."
"I'll sleep in my room though Sunday night and then on the floor, starting Monday."
"What? Why, why would you sleep on the floor."
"I meant what I said, I will not pressure you, I expect nothing Katniss."
"Well, I expect my husband to want to sleep in the same bed as me."
That came out wrong. I know it did, but at the same time, Peeta is my husband. He needs to realize that we are stuck in this forever.
"What? I do, I just don't want to pressure you."
"You are my husband Peeta, not some guy I went on a date with."
I sigh and look at my wonderful stew.
"Katniss, I didn't mean to make you mad."
"I'm not mad, I just want to do this right."
"Ok, I will sleep in the bed with you tonight and we can move my stuff over tomorrow."
"Ok, that sounds reasonable. The rest we will work out, but I don't want anyone thinking we are anything less than, husband and wife in every since of the word."
"I agree, and that means we need to stay here all weekend." Peeta says
I realize he means, we need to stay away from people this weekend and it hits me the reason Bran is not staying here. We are meant to unite our bodies tonight. If we are seen out or at work before the weekend is up, it will be as if we either didn't unite or we didn't like it much. I have heard of men going back to work after only a day. Those couples get gossiped about. I don't want to be one of those people. Others need to think we are happily married and united.
"Right, and we need to light the fire."
"Are you cold?" Peeta asked
He can't be serious.
"Peeta, we have to toast."
I see all the color drain from his face.
"What is it?"
"I, didn't think you would want to do that yet. I didn't get bread for that."
"I did."
"You?"
"Yes, I told your dad what to make. It is by the open oven, we just have to light the fire."
"Katniss, I am sorry, I didn't do this. It was my job."
"It wouldn't have mattered, I made this choice. I talked to your dad the other day. I am sure if I wouldn't have, then your father would have asked you about it."
"You're right. Well, finish your stew and I will light the fire."
That is exactly what we do. We finish the stew and put what is left away, I wash up our dishes and Peeta starts the fire, I walk into the family room when the open oven is, Peeta is there with the bread and toasting boards. I walk over to him and he pulls out the bread. Raisin bread.
"Katniss" Peeta gasp when he sees the kind of bread that I picked.
"You knew?"
"Who else is going to leave bread in my locker Peeta? I knew this, but nothing else. I always thought you felt sorry for me."
"I didn't"
"I know."