5x14 – The Devil's Due

The silence was pressing down on him from all sides; he could only hear the mumbling on the porch as Emma said goodbye to Regina, Robin and Henry. After a few minutes of discussion they'd settled on resting up for a few hours before deciding what to do next, and he'd seen the look Emma had shared with her mother and Regina. She wanted to be alone with him, and the other women understood her instantly.

It wasn't as if he didn't want that, too. Being alone with her. But he was just so tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of being a hero. He hadn't had a sliver of hope left that anything could save him from his future in the Underworld; he'd been prepared to suffer for centuries to come, and he'd been okay with that.

It had been his sacrifice. To save Emma. To save everyone.

Turned out it had been for naught. The crocodile had found a way to keep the darkness alive, to take it back. Of course Emma couldn't let that stand, of course she came down here to save him, to bring him back.

And he was glad to see her. Truly. But … he hadn't been lying. Nobody should be down here. Nobody. Especially not the people he loved.

Milah had been down here, and only thinking her name made his heart ache with grief and a sharp flare of anger. She shouldn't have been down here. She should have gone to a better place. He'd thought he'd gone to that better place. But apparently she'd had unfinished business down here. He just wished that he could have seen her, just for a few precious moments. That he could have said that goodbye he hadn't had the chance to give all those years ago. And now she was truly lost forever. He wouldn't get another chance.

"I'm sorry. About Milah. That you couldn't see her one more time, that you couldn't help her move on."

The couch dipped down beside him as Emma sat down, her hand coming to rest on his knee, the contact causing tears prick the back of his eyes. He didn't think he would ever touch her again, but now she was here, by his side. Strong and compassionate.

"It's ..." He wanted to tell her that it was okay, that he'd moved on from Milah when he met her, but the word didn't come.

"I know you loved her very deeply, Killian." A lump formed in his throat and he couldn't met her gaze, afraid he might break down after all. "I understand. She was a very fiery lass."

He chuckled at her attempt to imitate his accent, couldn't help it. "Aye, that she was."

"Can I ..." He winced slightly as he titled his body to face her, seeing her hand hovering over his injured eye. "Can I heal you now, please."

He'd refused so far, fearing that using her magic down here would have dire consequences, but he could see it in her eyes how much strain it put on here to see him like this and he nodded. "Heal away, love."

It took her a few minutes to heal all his wounds, and seeing her hands glow with magic as the wounds sealed shut made him suddenly think of another person he loved deeply. His brother. Liam. He jolted upright as he realized that there might be a possibility that his older brother was here, too.

"What is it?" Emma asked, her smile faltering as she eyed him while her shoulders already straightened to take on whatever came their way next.

Gods, he loved this woman with all his heart.

"It just came to me ..." Gulping hard, he tried to keep his hope in check but it was a futile attempt. It flared up hot and bright in his heart. "What if Milah isn't the only one who didn't move on? What if … what if Liam is here, too?"

Emma furrowed her brows for a moment and tilted her head in thought, but then her mouth curled up into a huge grin and she said, "Then we'll find him and help him cross over."