5x15 – The Brother Jones
"You sure you wanna come home with me?"
Killian flinched inwardly upon hearing the question, angry with himself for causing that uncertainty and he tilted his head to press a kiss on her forehead.
"Aye, I am."
He pulled her even closer until she was sitting on his lap and he could wrap both his arms firmly around her; he didn't want her to get up anytime soon. They deserved to have a few quite moments before going back to figuring out a plan to defeat Hades.
"I'm so sorry, love."
Her fingers tightened around the lapels of his jacket as she leaned her head against his shoulder and buried her face in his neck. He could feel her trembling slightly, and he cursed himself for putting her through all of this.
But he had wavered, just for a few hours, he had really wavered.
All his life he'd tried to be a man the people he loved could be proud of, but time and time again he'd failed and in the end he truly believed he didn't deserve to have a happy life, that the moment he was happy someone was taken away from him. First Liam, then Milah. A part of him had feared that the same might happen with Emma, that when he went home with her he would lose her, too.
"I was scared," he whispered into her hair. "Scared that I might lose you, too. That being with me dooms you to an early death. I …" He let out a shuddering breath, still shaken by the fact that he'd almost made the wrong decision. "I can't live without you, Swan."
"And you thought I can live without you?" she asked with a quivering voice, a lonely tear trailing down her cheek, his heart squeezing in his chest because he was the cause of her sorrows. He'd made her question herself, he'd made her believe that their love wasn't strong enough.
"But nonetheless you let me go."
"Because you were right," she said softly, her fingers playing with his jacket, not meeting his eyes as she continued, "I took your right to decide over your own future away from you." When she looked up at him her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, and he wanted to lean down and kiss her until she forgot everything about the last few hours and just melted into his arms. But he knew she needed to get it off her chest, so he just looked at her, hoping to convey that he understood where she was coming from, and after a few seconds she added, "This time I wanted to let you make that decision. And if it had meant that you chose the afterlife over a life with me … I would have accepted it. Because it'd be what you wanted."
"I want you, Emma," he told her with a firm voice, lifting his hand to cup her face, holding her gaze. "I've always wanted you. From the moment I met you. The fierce lass that climbed a beanstalk with me to steal a compass from a giant." She rolled her eyes at him and he let his hand drop to her thigh before he sighed dramatically and said, "And I still wanted you, even after you've chained me to a wall and left me with said giant."
"He didn't do you any harm," she huffed, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth, the sight making him grin.
"So not the point here, love."
"Maybe I'm really into it," she replied, popping the t and he couldn't help himself, he laughed out loud, his heart suddenly feeling so much lighter.
"When this is all over ..." he trailed off, slipping his hand under her shirt and skimming his fingers over her skin, relishing in the goosebumps that popped up all over her skin and the shiver that ran through her body. "We're gonna find out how much you are into it."
She leaned back with a mischievous grin on her face and that gleam back in her eyes he hadn't seen for weeks. Not to mention that sultry tone in her voice when she asked, "Promise?"
Now he was the one whose body trembled against hers and he suppressed a groan when she shifted in his lap and made contact with a certain appendage that had raised its head, literally, the moment they started talking about handcuffs.
"Oh yeah," he growled, tightening his grip around her waist. "We're so gonna find out."
And then he leaned down and pressed his lips on hers and kissed her like his life depended on it. If they hadn't been in the Underworld, he didn't know where the kiss might have ended. Probably in the bed or on some other horizontal surface and as long as they were both naked he wouldn't really care.
But duty called and he released her lips reluctantly. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"
"Aye, aye Captain," she replied as she jumped to her feet and his heart was filled with so much love for her that he feared it might burst with happiness any moment. "Let's catch the bad guy and go home."