Chapter 3

Five months later…

Carlos had never flown before and we were heading over water. He was freaking out about the flight so bad that he made me start to freak out too. Anika was good with him though. She talked to him soothingly and rubbed his hair in a soft and tender way. He was making me so shaky that I almost wanted her to start rubbing my hair too. The plane was still boarding so we still had about twenty more minutes of his nervous fidgeting, before we had to deal with his anxiety after we took off – which would obviously be worse.

I decided to get my letters from Conrad out of my carry-on for comfort. My bag was up in the top compartment. I had to squeeze past and over Anika and Carlos in order for that to happen. They gave me the window seat because Carlos wanted to be in between us. Like we could really save him if the plane was going to go down? He was a trip.

The pressure I felt building up in my chest popped like a balloon once my hands cuffed around my stack of letters. In total we had exchanged about twenty letters.

My favorite one was the one saying that he wanted to see me a couple of days after I landed.

[ Dear Belly,

It is one more month until you come home. Can you believe that? It will fly by for you, but it will feel like forever for me. Not that I am counting down or anything ...

I have exams the day you come home so I will still be in California, but I would really like to see you the weekend after. Maybe all of us can go to Cousins. You, me, Laur, Steven, and maybe even Jere, if he would be up for it. I think mom would like that. I don't think all of us have been there at the house together since the summer she got sick again. It would be nice to return to old traditions, don't you think?

Your mom told me a funny story that you didn't think to tell me in your last letter. She told me that you went horseback riding for the first time and fell off the horse. She said that you didn't get hurt, but that you refused to get back on at first. Then she said that you eventually got back on the horse. And you know what? Before she even told me about you getting back on the horse, I knew you did. You are the kind of person that doesn't give up on anything, and that is what makes you amazing. I wonder what your face looked like when you decided you were going to get back on. I feel like I know exactly what face that would be.

You could have given up on me a long time ago, and some people would argue that you should. But I am glad that you never did.

I can't wait to see you Belly – hopefully (fingers crossed)

Love,

Conrad ]

It wasn't that he said anything that made me fall to my knees. It was that he wanted to see me and was willing to come home for the summer from California to do just that. He was ready to move forward with our lives and it gave me hope that I could have everything I ever wanted and more.

The plane took off and Carlos began moaning in terror into Anika's shoulder. He clutched my leg too and when he did it so suddenly it scared me. I leaped up in my buckles and kicked the chair of an old man in front of me. He turned his head between the cracks of the seat and scolded me with one eye. It was harrowing.

I almost giggled at how scary it was. I had felt a plethora of what felt like a thousand sensations from all of the things going around me which left me in a fluster. I blamed Carlos first and foremost.

"Carlos, pull it together man!" I scolded him and looked out the window at Spain disappearing below us. It didn't seem like to long ago when we were first seeing this view and jigging in the seat with excitement over this same view.

Now, knowing that it was time to go home made me long for it. I just wished that I could teleport home instead of take such a long plane ride to make it happen.

It was the same homesickness I felt when it was the last week at the summer house. I was always ready by that time of the last week to get home and sleep in my own bed and get back to the normal things that home meant.

I slept on and off throughout the flight. Carlos finally fell asleep after the first hour, but I felt like he more closely passed out from fear. I wouldn't tell Anika that. What was weird about coming home was that I was coming home with hope. Hope that things could go back to normal – normal being all of us together at the summer house. What was also weird is that I was coming home with Anika and her fiancé. They had only gotten engaged five months ago. They had only known each other for a matter of three months before they got engaged. It was now eight months of them together and they were getting better and better with time.

I never once thought that Anika was moving too fast. She was the girl who always had her head on her shoulders. She was never judgmental or rude to me in all of my juvenile moments of honesty. She never once made me feel beneath her or stupid, so through all of this I didn't judge or think poorly for her for the speediness of the relationship with her now fiancé.

I think what made us great best friends was the effortless tenor of our affection for one another. We were each other's number one fan. Anika and Carlos could prove to anyone who spent enough time with them that they were the real deal.

I was vibrating with anticipation for everyone in the front of the plane to hurry their butts so that we could get off the plane too. I knew my mom and dad were waiting for me outside of the terminal for international flights. I wanted so much to hug and squeeze on the parents that gave me such a wonderful life. I truly wanted them to know how thankful I was for them.

"Look at you Carlos. You are a flight professional now." Anika said rubbing Carlos' back soothingly and praising him.

He glimmered under her touch. The attractive smile he gave her was returned with affection by Anika.

"Welcome to America Carlos," I said hugging him.

"I am so happy to be here finally," He responded taking Anika's carry on and putting it over his shoulder.

"Are your parents already here?" I asked Anika. She looked down at her phone and nodded with a smile.

"Yeah they are. Are you ready to meet my family?" She asked Carlos.

His eyes grew bigger and he grinned. "I can't wait." He all but cheered. Most men in his position would be freaked out by the idea of meeting their fiancé's parents.

Her parents didn't know that she was engaged so they were really walking into an unknown territory. I hoped that her parents were as open as she was, but I feared she would get the reaction my mom gave me at the almost-wedding. They didn't deserve that reaction.

As I collected my bag from baggage claim I hugged Anika goodbye so that I could power walk to the gate to see my parents. I hadn't seen my dad in what felt like a year.

I burst into a run and found my mom and dad talking closely and then looking around for me. I met eyes with my dad first. I grinned and ran over to them, not caring if I looked like I was five years old.

"Belly!" Dad said as I fell into his arms for a hug. I hugged my mom right after. Her hugs were always firm and assuring. This time her hug lingered and she pet my hair as she hugged me tightly.

"It is so good to see you Belly girl." Mom said taking my rolling bag from me and my dad took my carry on off of my shoulder after he noticed what mom did. He tried to take the rolling bag, but my mom scolded him for thinking her incapable.

Dad apologized and looked funny after being scolded by mom.

"It is so good to be home," I said truly meaning it.

"How was your flight?" Dad asked as we were walking out to the car.

"It was okay. Anika's fiance Carlos was pretty much crying when he wasn't passed out. So at first he had me in knots, but once he finally passed out it wasn't too bad." I said giggling at Carlos now that they were gone.

"Poor guy," mom said looking around.

"Where are they?" she asked.

"They left to go find her parents," I said.

"Oh, well. Let's go eat something." Mom suggested.

"That sounds amazing. Let's go to Benny's." I suggested. I really wanted a real American cheeseburger.

"Whatever you want bean." Mom said as we climbed into their car.

When we finally settled in back home dad stuck around to see me for a little longer and left about an hour later. He could tell I wanted a shower and to re-acclimate myself to my bedroom and home. I promised dad that I would see him tomorrow, but he had to host an exam for one of his classes so he wouldn't have time to see me. It was okay though.

I took a shower and settled into my pajamas and fell asleep almost instantly on my bed. Mom came into my room to check on me a few times and to get my clothes to wash from my suitcase.

When I woke up it was four-thirty in the morning and I turned the light on in my room to find that mom had washed and unpacked all of my clothes. I had been fully responsible for taking care of myself since I left and to have my mom again made me feel like the little girl I used to be.

I read a book off of my shelf. It was a book I never finished because I was too caught up with the boys. It was Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Susannah had given it to me a few summers ago, and I never really got into it.

By seven in the morning I was to the part were Darcy proposes to Elizabeth in her friend Charlotte's new home with Mr. Collins. My heart raced and I re-read what he said to her.

"In vain I have struggled.

It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed.

you must allow me to tell you how ardently

I admire and love you"

Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond

expression. She stared colored, doubted, and was silent. This he

considered sufficient encouragement;

and the avowal of all that he felt,

and long had felt for her, immediately

followed. He spoke well; but there were

feelings besides those of the heart

to be detailed; and he was not more

eloquent on the subject of tenderness

than of pride. His sense of her inferiority – of

it's being a degradation – of family obstacles

which had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt

on with a warmth which seemed due to the

consequence he was wounding, but was

very unlikely to recommend his suit.

In spite of her deeply-rooted dislike, she could

not be insensible to the complement

of such a man's affection, and though her

intentions did not vary for an instant,

she was at first sorry for the pain he was to receive;

till, roused to resentment by his subsequent language,

she lost all compassion in her anger.

She tried, however, to compose herself to

answer him with patience, when he should have done.

- Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice -

And then Miss Elizabeth let Mr. Darcy have it for insulting her about "the inferiority of her birth" and among other comments of disrespect towards her family.

"Oh Darcy, maybe you should have just stopped at the part where you said you loved her." I said to myself.

"What are you reading?" mom asked from the doorway to my room.

"Pride and Prejudice. Susannah gave it to me to read a long time ago,"

"She would," mom said with a reminiscent smile. "Come have breakfast." She added and left the doorway.

I placed a book mark in the place I last read and followed my mom downstairs for breakfast.

She had fixed waffles and bacon. I was starving.

"Steven is on his way home today. He just finished his last exam yesterday evening." Mom said pouring me a glass of orange juice.

"Oh I figured he would have stayed a few extra days." I said sipping from the cold glass.

Mom looked over at me from the sink where she was washing a pan. The look she gave me was observant and then an almost smile touched her lips.

"What?" I asked.

"Steven and I got an invitation from Conrad to go to Cousins for the summer. We are leaving Saturday." She said as she walked with her breakfast plate to sit across from me at the table.

"Oh he invited you already. Good. I didn't know how to bring it up. I didn't want to seem desperate to get to see him." I explained. The sun was shining in full force through the kitchen window. Birds chirped loudly and I had very much missed that noise.

"Yeah I am excited to get to spend the summer there. Although I have to come back for work on Monday. I can't take off work for the summer until June. I will just come down on the weekends," mom explained also which made sense. The college terms always had ended earlier than the public schools did. Although writing gave her a good amount of freedom for her job. It was hard to take off when your publisher was needing something from you.

"That sounds great. I am looking forward to things feeling like they used to; which I know that it will be hard to accomplish it without Susannah, but we can try for her."

Mom agreed with just a look.

Friday evening me and my brother Steven decided to ride down to Cousins because we were so eager to get back there. Mom would come in her own car the next day since she would need her own car. Steven drove because he said he didn't want to ride with me, and he never had allowed me to drive him since he tried to teach me to drive back when I was sixteen.

"I don't mind. It is better if you drive. I love being driven around," I said kicking back and putting my feet up on his dash board.

"Get your filthy feet down from there." He said pushing at my legs.

"Keep your hands to yourself Ste-ven," I said drawing out the words to get on his nerves.

"When do you go back to Spain?" he asked as he backed out of our driveway.

"Never. You'll be spending the next three months seeing my mug every day." I said turning up the radio and rolling the window down.

He groaned and we drove listening to the radio for a while. When he told me he wanted to listen to sports on his satellite radio, so I got out Pride and Prejudice and began to read.

As we neared cousins I could smell the marsh in moist hot air. It must've been a hot day there because of the heat that lingered around.

Steven slowed down without me having to ask as we passed the old surf shops and restaurants. We passed the McDonalds that I got cheeseburgers from for the boys when we were helping Conrad study. It was so familiar but the memory felt like it belonged to such a distant time.

When we pulled up to the house there were two cars there. One was the car that Conrad had owned since high school. My heart leaped at the sight of it. There was also a red sports car. Flashy and expensive and I wasn't sure who it belonged too.

"Is Mr. Fisher here?" I asked wondering if he was going through a mid-life crisis or something.

"No." Steven said turning the car off.

"Whose car is that?" I asked pointing to the red one.

"Oh, that's Jere's graduation present from Mr. Fisher." Steven said grabbing his duffel bag out of the back of his car. I rolled my window back up and got out the car to retrieve mine.

The gravel crunched beneath our feet as we approached the front of the house. I could hear laughter and splashing from the pool.

Steven glanced down at me with a worried expression that I recognized from the rare times when he was protective of me.

It made me wonder if Conrad had a girlfriend or something. Then I shot the thought away. Conrad made it clear I was the only person he was interested inn.

The front door was unlocked and nobody was in sight. I decided to take my bag up to my room to unpack before heading out to the pool. When I opened the door I saw a few large pink suitcases on the floor of my room. There were dresses hanging in my closet and makeup bags spread out on top of my dresser.

I froze and looking around the room with sheer anger. This was my room. Whose stuff is this?

I decided that maybe it was a misunderstanding, so I walked down the steps and went out onto the back patio to find Conrad chatting with Steven and Jeremiah in the pool wrapped around a girl I didn't recognize.

Nobody had noticed me yet. Conrad was the first. It was like time was in slow motion, although my heart was beating out of my chest. His eyes struck with recognition and sparkled with what I could only recognize as happiness when I walked over to him and said hello I was hesitant. I don't know why I felt so shy around him. Maybe it was because we had only communicated through written letters. It would take a minute to acclimate myself to actually being able to see him again. To be near him again.

He pulled me into the biggest hug that I had ever been given. He swung me around in a circle a few times. His face was in my now buried in my now – grown out hair. His arms vised around me and his hands sat on my waist. He pushed me back a little to get a good look at me.

"You look as beautiful as ever Belly," he said pushing my hair away from my eyes from where the summer breeze lifted it in front of my view. It was such a familiar touch. I was thankful for the deep tan I had kept since last summer so that he couldn't see how much his words affected me through blushing.

"You don't look so bad yourself." I said pinching his cheek. His face was already tanned from the sun. His hair looked longer than I had ever seen it, but he still looked clean cut. It was pushed back from his face in a modern style that still looked very much like Conrad. He smiled like a little boy at my gesture.

I didn't take my eyes off of Conrad until I heard splashing and a girl shrieking in the pool. It was weird that they were swimming so late considering the only person who ever swam late was me.

I didn't want to be rude so I walked over to the pool to say hello to Jeremiah, who seemed really, really busy.

"Hey Jere." I said as I stood over them in the pool.

"Oh, hey Belly. When did you get here?" he asked glancing from me to the girl in the pool.

"When Steven did. Did you see him?" I asked motioning over to where Steven was.

"Yeah I did. I just figured you would come tomorrow with your mom." He said not giving me much attention when I spoke again. I gave him what he seemed to want and left him alone.

"Nope I am here." I said as I walked away, so get that girls stuff out of my room. – I wished I could add as an afterthought. I made a point to say that I was going to unpack when Conrad's face reddened. He must've noticed the girls stuff in my room earlier.

"Yeah. Hold on a second with that thought Bells." Conrad said stepping over to the pool and talking softly to Jeremiah. I could hear what he said,

"Hey do you want to go put Melanie's stuff in your room so that Belly can unpack. She will be here all summer and that is her room." Conrad said trying to be polite.

Jeremiah scoffed at him.

"Melanie will be here a lot too, but since she is my girl I will get right on it. The closer the better" He said climbing out of the pool and drying off quickly with his towel to not track in so much water in to the house. Melanie followed right after him. Wrapping a towel around herself before she went through the sliding doors.

Conrad put his hands in his short pockets and walked over to join Steven in one of the loungers and grabbed a beer for himself from the Yeti cooler that was positioned between the two sun loungers.

Everyone was quiet for a minute. Too quiet. I guessed they thought to be awkward because of me, which was preposterous.

I didn't have anywhere to sit so when I decided to head inside.

"Come sit here." Conrad said as he moved his feet over so that could sit on the leg part of the wooden sun loungers. He handed me a beer too. I smiled at him thankfully.

"I need to get the other chairs out from beneath the house. I just got here around three. I haven't had much time to set up the house for the summer" He said making conversation.

"But we always make sure there is beer!" Steven said raising his.

We spent the next thirty minutes catching up and listening mostly to Steven. I could tell Conrad was hoping Steven would go to bed so that we could have some time to ourselves.

I knew he was staring at me as we listened to Steven story about going to an ACC basketball game back in February. I smiled to the ground and snuck a look over at him to see if I was right. I was.

It was twelve by the time Steven said he should go call his girlfriend Katie. Conrad was quick to encourage that.

"Yeah, you better do that. Don't want her wondering what you are doing?" He said taking a sip of beer and raising his eyebrows at me. I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah true that. Hey, surfing in the morning?" Steven said backing up towards the door.

"Sure." Conrad said.

Steven left to go inside without another word.

Conrad turned his head to me with a smile on his face. I decided to tease him.

"Are you not sleepy Conrad? You old man," I asked turning my legs and crossing them so I could face him better. We were still on the same lounger. I poked his chest with my big toe.

"No, I'm not," he said grabbing my foot. Conrad knew how ticklish I was.

"Don't!" I said widening my eyes for him to know I was serious.

"Don't what?" He asked as if he didn't know.

"Don't you dare think about tickling me." I said.

"Well you didn't think about the consequences for poking a person, an innocent person at that, with your big ginormous toe." He said wiggling the toe I poked him with.

"My toe is not ginormous." I said pinching his arm.

"But it is." He said making a face like he was trying to let someone down easy with bad news that only he knew.

I just laughed. He freed my foot.

"I've missed you." He said looking at me in a way I always dreamed he would.

"I've really missed you too. I have missed you. I have missed this house. I have missed the way my heart races when I am around you." I said the last thing with hesitation, but he was glad I said it. I could tell.

"I know exactly what you mean." He said.

We ended up looking up at the stars for a while. I pulled the neighboring sun chair right beside him so we were both looking up as we did on the only Valentine's day we ever spent together as a couple. He gave me infinity that night.

He told me about school. He started golfing again in his free time and played touch football at a local community center when he wasn't interning at a hospital.

I asked him how much longer he had with school and he said three years.

I fell asleep out on the sun lounger that night and he slept right there beside.