5x20 - Firebird

He was determined to keep his promise, he would move on. Just not yet. He'd wait until the sun went down and then he would go up. He'd make sure that they made it back home, that Emma didn't change her mind at the last moment and stayed.

He knew her, and though she did climb into the elevator and let him go this time it didn't mean she really went through the portal. He just needed to make sure that she didn't stay back. Her life wasn't over yet. She had so much to live for. He only hoped she kept her promise, too. He hoped her armor would stay down. He even hoped that one day she would find someone who could make her happy.

His knees gave out under him and he crumpled to the ground, his heart beating painfully in his chest. They were True Love. How were they supposed to live without each other? How could he move on without her by her side? How could he have asked her to leave him here and go back?

But Emma was one of the strongest women he'd ever met. He knew she would make it. He knew she would move on, no matter how hard it would be.

His mouth quivered with a smile as he imagined her straightening her shoulders, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she jumped through the portal to get back to Storybrooke. She might be a stubborn lass, but she would keep the promise she'd given him.

And he would fulfill his promise, too. He would move on. In a few hours he would go to the bridge and cross over.

But not just yet.

-x-

It hurt. So much that every breath she took felt as if her chest would collapse.

He was gone. Forever.

She would never see his smile again, she would never hear his voice again, would never hear him call her love again in that lilting voice that always managed to make her feel loved. She would never be able to tell him how much she loved him without their lives being in danger. She would never feel his arms around her again, would never feel the brush of his lips against her forehead.

She would never see him again.

She forced herself to keep breathing, to draw air into her lungs and push it out despite the excruciating pain that filled her chest. She'd made him a promise. She promised him she wouldn't put up her armor again. But it was so damn hard to leave it down, to not grab it and pull it tight around her shoulders, to hide back behind her walls.

She lost her True Love.

Her fingers curled around the ring, the only physical thing she had left of him now. Pressing her eyes shut, she tried to stop the tears, tried to stop crying. But it didn't help. The tears were just coming and coming. She slid down to the ground, pulled her legs up and laid her head on her knees, letting herself break down completely.

She would give herself one night. One night of mourning without trying to hold herself together. One night in which she would let herself feel the loss with every fiber of her being. Just this one night. And then she would stand up and keep going. Though she had no idea right now how. How she could live her life without him by her side. A life without her armor keeping her together.

But she'd promised. And she would keep her promise. Even if her heart would never truly heal again.