Chapter Nineteen: Lizzie
Mum manages to stop crying long enough to ask me "who was that driving? I don't recognise the car? Is it a boyfriend?" I lead her into the kitchen to make everyone a cup of tea, because tea solves everything. Putting two sugars in my mums, I silently wonder if we have any Valium and if she would notice me slipping it into her tea.
"No mum, as I told you at the wedding, I'm single." I am now. "If you must know, it was Mr Darcy, he… He gave me a lift home from the wedding and was just dropping me off when you rang, so he volunteered to drive me here."
"Well I never would have thought it." She says her hand on her chest like she just witnessed a miracle. I sigh to myself and turn back to my task. I hated the fact everyone only saw what they expected to see. The more people thought of him of not having any kind of heart and feelings, the more he acted like it was true. If they could just see past the face he puts on for everyone else and see the glimpses of the real Nick like I had, they would all think very differently. He is a wonderful man. I had been blind in the beginning but during the past six months I have had my eyes opened and I know the potential he has. If he just gave himself a chance to be the man I know he is. He thinks he isn't allowed to be happy so he won't allow himself to be. My head is buzzing with conflicting emotions. I want to stay with him so badly and make him realise that potential, knowing we can be so happy, and at the same time I hate him for making me feel like that, like I owe it to him to stick around. How long for? I could be waiting forever for him to finally give in and realise the most important thing in his life is not Rosings. "Mr Darcy? That stuck up snob doing something charitable for another human being. Whatever next? Ooh Lizzie you don't think he's interested do you? He must be loaded!"
I flew round gawking at my mother's opinion of the man I love. "Mother! He's not like that, he's not that bad. He's … nice actually. But no, you don't have to worry about anymore weddings." I grip the handle of the kettle to stop myself from breaking down again. "I don't think I'll ever see that man again." I say it in my head but it comes out of my mouth. Mum doesn't comment, I doubt she even heard me. I put on a brave face and turn to face her. "So come on then fill me in. I need to know everything mum. Including most importantly where dad is." I come out of the kitchen and find Jane standing at the foot of the stairs.
"Jane! Oh God Jane what are you doing here? This is your wedding night, you shouldn't be here sorting out this mess." I feel the tears welling up in my eyes again, 'a mess.' What a mess my life is right now. The tears spring free and I collapse down onto the stairs sobbing uncontrollably. I haven't cried like this since I was tiny, but now I can't stop. It is like every emotion I have kept locked inside has finally broken free. I am gasping trying to catch my breath. Jane is immediately at my side, thankfully sending mum upstairs, and looking more stricken at the sight of me finally crying, then of the fact our youngest sister is missing. I sit on the stair hanging on to the banister.
"Oh my god Lizzie, what on earth is the matter? I have never seen you like this, this upset. This can't all be because of Lydia, please, please tell me what's wrong, tell me how to fix this." Jane begs. The ghost of Nick's words come back at me, haunting, taunting me. A fresh bout of tears tumbles down my face, my fingers helpless to stop them. "Oh … Jane … I … I don't know… where to start." I manage between my chest rising and falling to spit out a few words. Jane sits down beside me, holding me.
"Talk to me Lizzie, tell me what's wrong. Start at the beginning." She pleads. So I do, we sit on those stairs, for what seems like hours, I finally calm down long enough to confess a hearts worth of secrets. The truth about Wickham, about how I knew, about her and Charlie, and Darcy breaking them up, what a bitch Caroline is, what she had said to me. But I still haven't mentioned the real truth, the real reason I am a dripping sobbing mess.
"But Nick, he, he can't have done that and said those things. He was so good to us, to me, he brought Charlie home. He told Charlie to ring me, that's how we got back together. I would have never even known he still had feelings for me or me for him, if Nick hadn't forced us together. And George Wickham. I know I don't know him like you do, but I can't believe he is truly that wicked. I have to believe that Lydia has some part in this, that she told him she was old enough or something, you know what she's like, and once she gets scared she'll tell him the truth and he'll bring her home. He can't expect to go back to work, to live a normal life otherwise can he? I mean we don't have his side of the story where Georgiana is concerned."
Suddenly feeling protective of Georgiana I set Jane straight. "Jane I know it's the truth. I told George Lydia's age myself. Georgiana wouldn't lie and neither would Nick, not to me." I assure her. I can feel Jane staring at me. I raise my blurry eyes.
"Lizzie, what aren't you telling me here? There's more I know."
Deep breath in.
"Nick and I, we, we have been seeing each other. Since I got back from Derbyshire." I confess.
Deep breath out.
Jane jumps up holding onto the banister for support. "Derbyshire! But that was … that was six months ago! Lizzie how could you have been together that long and no one say anything? Caroline would have broken her neck to tell everyone, and mother, God she would have taken out an ad in the paper." She cries incredulously.
"No one knew." I whisper. Ashamed. "He wanted us to be a secret and I let him keep us as one. We didn't tell a sole. We were really careful." I leave out the fact Georgiana knew, I know it will kill Jane that I had told someone else's sister before my own.
She slides back down on to the step. "I can't believe it. You and Mr Darcy. But you're so … and he's so…you're so different! Polar opposites. I wouldn't have put you together in a million years. So that was him, then, now dropping you off? He wouldn't stay with you, through this, through a family crisis like this? Did he have somewhere else he needed to be, why didn't he stay with you? If you are together, shouldn't he be here with you? I don't understand, maybe if I ask Charlie to-"
"Enough Jane! That's enough. He … we ... He just, he just needs to get somethings straight, his priorities for one. We're taking a little time away from each other while he does that. But I'm not walking away from him Jane, not yet. I love him." It's true. The more I think about it, from the second he took my hand in the flat to the moment he started biting on his nail anxiously, I knew there was no walking away from him. I need him too much there is no doubt. I will give him the time he needs to realise it too and then we will start making this work.
"Love him? Lizzie, really? You're in love with Mr Darcy! When did this happen?"
I chuckled to myself. "Well I'm not sure, but I think it might have been when I first saw his estate at Pemberley." I teased. It may be the wrong time to crack a joke but I feel the air needs clearing. The house is full of enough female hormones gone wild without us adding to them. She laughs and hugs me tight. I miss Jane so much. "So what's to be done? Where's dad?" I sniff.
Jane rubs her hands over her face, she looks tired, today had been her wedding day after all; she's probably exhausted. "We don't know, as soon as alarms were raised at the wedding that she had gone and Kitty confessed her telling her she was running away with George, dad shot off. God only knows where, he certainly didn't. I think he was heading to Wickham's place, Richard Fitzwilliam gave him the address, we haven't heard from him since." She yawns.
"Oh Jane, you must be shattered and having to face all this alone, I wish I hadn't left early. I should've been here. I could have calmed dad down. Where's Charlie?"
"He's talking to the doctor, they're trying to get something for mum to calm her nerves."
On cue mother bursts from the living room wailing and dropping tissues in her wake. "Oh where is your father? Why isn't he home yet? If he finds that Wickham he'll try to fight him, and he doesn't realise he's not as young as he used to be and then he'll be hurt or killed. And then where shall we be?" She continues balling in the kitchen while Jane and I roll eyes at one another.
Jane takes my hand squeezing it tight. "I'm so glad you're here Lizzie. I know I'm older, but you always know what to do."
"I'll sort it, first things first, let's get mum knocked out and in bed and then you and Charlie can get some rest too."
Hours later I sit at the kitchen table staring at my dad's chair, wishing he was sat there mumbling advice from behind his newspaper. The house is eerily quiet. Everyone is finally in bed. I couldn't sleep. I can't bare this. We haven't heard from anyone. Dad, Lydia, Wickham. If we just knew what was happening ... I stare at my phone trying the numbers again, as I have been doing all morning, first Lydia, then dads and then George. No answer from any. I hope they are together and then at the same time that dad doesn't find them. No. That would leave Lydia with him. I have so many conflicting thoughts running through my head I can't see straight. Mum is still under sedation. Jane and Charlie have gone to Netherfield to get some rest and prepare to cancel their honeymoon if we have no word today. Kitty has cried herself to sleep and Mary has just lay there in her box room she has to herself, in the dark staring at the wall. I don't know who I am most concerned for.
I am still holding my phone, my finger scrolls to Nick's number, and as if they have a mind of their own I find myself typing out a message.
Me: Hi
Almost immediately my phone beeps with his reply.
Nick: Hi. How are things at home?
Me: About as bad as they can get. Dads missing, mums sedated, Kitty in hysterics. Mary may or may not even be aware Lydia's gone, Jane and Charlie have spent their wedding night here, and are currently considering cancelling their honeymoon.
Nick: What about you?
I rest my head in my hands, he's thinking about me. He does care. In his own mixed up Darcy way, he does care about me.
Me: I just want my dad home, I can't think without him here, I can't worry about Lydia while there are other people I'm worrying about.
Nick: Your dad will be ok. Who else are you worried about?
I hesitate before telling the truth.
Me: You.
I wait for the reply but it never comes. I pushed too far. He wanted time apart and I lasted six hours. Now I'm bombarding him with text messages. I'm such an idiot. I should be worrying about the fifteen year old girl that has absconded with a thirty year old man, not worrying about my relationship or lack thereof.
"Lizzie?" I look up at the familiar voice.
There at the kitchen door is dad. I jump to my feet and wrap my arms around him as soon as I reach him. I lean back checking him all over for signs of trauma but he see he's good. He looks tired, but other than that, like my dad. "Dad, thank God! Don't you ever do that to me again James Bennet!"
"Lizzie calm down girl you sound too much like your mother, and we both know you're supposed to take after me and be the normal one!" He chuckles. I laugh, and then burst into tears. I'm so happy he's home. Now we can all worry about Lydia, together, sanely, under one roof. "Hey, hey, hey what's all this?" He hugs me to him. "My Lizzie doesn't cry. Come on, I'm home now. Tell me what I've missed here." While I'm filling him in on the drugs mum has been given and how Mary is probably upstairs planning what she's going to wear to his funeral, Jane and Charlie burst in.
"Dad! We saw the car from the road, oh god thank goodness you're home!" Jane hugs him while Charlie shakes his hand and turns to make us all a cup of tea, I love Charlie. "But what are you doing here? I mean, why did you come home? Did you find them or not?" I scowl at Jane. Jesus we've just got him home, let's not barrage him with questions now. Charlie shrugs and offers me a cup of tea.
"It was Mr Darcy."
I drop the mug in my hand, smashing it and spilling tea all over the floor. Jane eyes go wide looking at me. "Shit!" My dad scowls at me. "Sorry dad." We always have to apologise for swearing. Bennet ladies never swear. "I'll just clean this up." I drop to my hands and knees under the table out of sight and then pause. Mr Darcy? Nick? What could he have to do with this? Through the mopping up, I hear my dad continue.
"Yes Mr Darcy found me, I don't know how. He must have been following the same trail of disgruntled ex-girlfriends, employers and bookies, as me, but found me he did and he told me he would handle it." I stick my head out from under the table and find Jane staring down at me amazed. "He told me to go home and be with you girls and your mother because you needed me and I should be with you. He was right of course, I never should have left without a proper plan. When you have daughters of your own you'll understand. I told Mr Darcy this too. He said he has a younger sister who he had to raise and he knew how I was feeling. That he could think clearer so he would take it from here."
"That's so like Nick." Charlie interrupts. "He'd do anything for Georgiana. He's like her mother, father and brother all wrapped into one. He's wicked smart too. That's what makes him so good at his job. He'll find her James, don't worry, if anyone can find Lydia, Nick will."