Chapter Twenty: Mr Darcy
My fingers are wrapped tightly around my phone. I should reply, she just told me she's worried about me. That's not the actions of someone who just ended things. If there is still a chance, I should be there with her now, making it work. But no, I am a man of his word and I had given my word to James Bennet. If I ever wanted to have any part of Lizzie's future, making an enemy of her beloved father was not a good start. No I will do as I said, I will find Lydia and get her home. Finish Wickham once and for all and everything will be alright again. Won't it?
I bang the steering wheel. I have hired a car so Wickham won't recognise it. I have been parked outside the run-down Youngs' B&B for two hours now, but I have it on good authority that a 'lovely young newlywed couple' has just checked in, and she matches Lydia's description very well. Pretending to be a friend wanting to surprise them, I sit here waiting for them to come out the front of the building. Hopefully I will catch Lydia alone so I can persuade her how wrong this is and get her to come home. On second thoughts, I'd like to see Wickham alone just as much. I ball my hands into fists thinking about how much pain I want to cause him. This had been four years coming. Too long!
My phone beeps. I pull it out, there's a text from Lizzie. I think about not opening it. Not wanting to know what it says, but I can't help myself.
Lizzie: Thank you for sending dad home.
Oh god Lizzie, don't thank me, don't you know I'd do anything for you?
Me: You don't have to thank me. I'll find them Lizzie. I promise.
Lizzie: I know you will x
I try to ignore the little 'x' on the end. It's the first one she's sent me since before the wedding fiasco. I can't believe there is hope, in case I'm just setting myself up for a bigger fall. I have done some real thinking while I sit in this car. This time it has to be on her terms. If she will forgive me and take my sorry hide back, I will do everything her way. I will find a way to have both. To make Catherine see that it isn't the end of the world if I don't marry someone in our circle. Right now I'm not ready for that yet. I have to sort out this Wickham business, and get myself sorted at work and then I will be ready to do whatever it takes to get us back to where we were.
No not where we were, better than that, real.
A girls laugh rings out, and I shuffle down in my seat, hat pulled down waiting to see if it truly is Lydia. My heart misses a beat when I realise it is. Wickham is behind her. Not quite the ideal scenario, but I can't let them go now. I've come too far. I'm not going back without Lizzie's little sister. I slowly slid out of the car trying not to face them until the last minute, they haven't noticed me. I make my way up to the hotel at a snail's pace, not wanting to startle them or cause them to run, I have no idea if he has a car nearby. Once I am almost on top of them, I let my head go up and look him in the eye, smiling. "Hello George."
"Shit!"
"Mr Darcy?" Lydia looks at me puzzled.
"Hello Lydia. How are you? Are you ok?" I try to keep my tone normal while I look her over for some sort of sign of, I don't know what. She looks her normal cheerful spoilt brat self. Part of me wants to leave her, but I know that's wrong. She is fifteen, a child, she had believed everything this cretin had told her, and now comes the hard part, getting her to see how wrong it is and return with me. That is plan A, if that doesn't work, I have the cheque book as a fall back. My conversations over the past twelve hours with a few of Wickham's bookies left me with no doubt he needs the money. It is a messy way of doing things and I really hope it won't come to that, but the way that soppy girl is gazing up at him, I don't think there is a chance in hell of her returning with me off her own back.
"I'm fine! How's Lizzie? I saw you two leaving together." She moves her shoulders back and forth in a childish manner. My eyes flick to Wickham. I can see his eyebrows dip, he is trying to figure out what Lizzie and I could be doing together no doubt. Time to change the subject I think.
"She's fine Lydia, but she's worried about you, your mother and father are too, Kitty and Jane. Even Mary."
"Hmph! I don't care! I'm having a ball." She gushes. "I'm dropping out of school and George and I are going to travel."
I try not to laugh at her immaturity and throw George a look. "Is that right? Well that sounds awfully exciting, do you think you could just give them a ring and let them know you are at least still alive Lydia? Surely you owe them much, at least just to put your mother's nerves at rest."
She rolls her eyes and starts searching through her bag. "Oh all alright, I'll just ... Wait, where's my phone? George do you know where it is? I had it last night." She questions him. A faint flush touches Wickham's cheeks, sneaky git, he's taken her phone. No wonder no-one's calls were getting through.
I hold mine out. "You can borrow mine if you'd like Lydia?"
"Lyd's come on we haven't time for this, we have to set off." Wickham stands in front her grabbing her arm and pulling her back towards the hotel.
I step to the other side, holding her elbow gently. "Come on George, it'll only take two minutes, just let her ring her parents let them know she's ok, while we have a little chat over here. Do you think?"
His face slowly turns from anger to a smirk, he knows what's coming next. I wish I could do anything other than pay him off right now, but if that's what it is going to take to get him to stay away from Lizzie's family, it will be worth every penny. He has no true idea how much I am worth. No one does, not even Georgiana, for reasons like this. My dad had left me private accounts only a few people knew about, the money to be used for the up keep of the properties and raising Georgiana. George has no idea, dad hadn't shared that much with him. Blood was always thicker than water. Lydia looks to him asking for permission.
He grins at her. "Yeah go on then, give them a ring and tell them all about our adventure. I'll have a little chat with Darcy." As soon as we out of her sight his smile drops and he looks more irritated. Surely Lydia Bennet is not too much for George Wickham. Again I restrain myself from leaving them to it. They deserve each other.
We make our way over to the side of the hotel out of the view of the road and Lydia. "So Darcy, you and Lizzie eh?" He wiggles his eyebrows up and down smirking.
"That's enough Wickham. How much? How much are we talking, for you to forget Lydia or any other Bennet exist? Come to think about it, any girl under eighteen?"
He rub his hands together and then looks like he's thinking it over. "Well now that's a tall order don't you think? For something like that, I think we're talking at least six figures, are we not?"
Smarmy git.
"Fine. Done." I take out my cheque book and scribble out a figure to a name I never thought I'd have to deal with again. He looks angry with himself. He's realised he could have asked for more. I won't give him the chance to change his mind or make any more demands, this time was the last time. "Here." I thrust it at him. "Now get your stuff and get the hell out of here, no tearful goodbyes just leave, quick before she sees you."
He snatches the cheque and looks longingly at it. "There's the hotel bill." He adds, placing the cheque safely in his inside pocket.
I blow out a breath through my teeth, shaking my head and putting my hands on my hips rather than leaving them to hang by my side and open to the temptation of hitting him. I had come this far without having to resort to that. "You really are a bastard you know that? I'll sort the damn bill, just get out of my sight."
Amazingly he did just that. A big smile on his face. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I have done it. I have Lydia safe. Wickham is gone and I haven't even lowered myself to his level and hit him. Lizzie will be proud.
I find Lydia playing on her phone. "Where's George? I don't know what's going on at home, but Lizzie was freaking out, then dad snatched the phone off her and told me I had to come home immediately or never at all. So I told him I was…"
"He's gone Lydia." I interrupt. "He said something about having a better offer." It's harsh and a lie. But I have a feeling the truth will hurt much more. She was just a bargaining chip from the start. I lead her towards the car. "Come on let's get you home."
"What? I don't understand, he's…he's gone? He said we were going away together forever." She looks up at me with big puppy dog eyes and I feel bad for her.
"I'm sure he did Lydia. But he was lying, sometimes men do that. It's bad and sick, but its better you learn now. Right? You can go home and have the love and support of your family." I tell her.
She stares out at the view of the sea for a long time, before she finally looks back at me, shrugging her shoulders and straightening her back. "Yes well his loss, obviously, yes take me home Mr Darcy!"
I sile to myself. She would get over this just as Georgiana had. She maybe a silly girl but she has her older sister's resilience. I pay the hotel bill, gather her few bits and pieces, trying not to notice the unmade bed, that is a conversation I shouldn't be privy to. I grab my phone and start to text Lizzie, before stopping myself and texting Charlie. He can come and meet me with Jane and take Lydia. I am going to Pemberley for a few days to sort out my head. To think about what I need to do to get myself together and be a better man for Lizzie, because she deserves a better man. She deserves the best man. Maybe I am not perfect but I will make damn sure I am perfect for her.
A week later I'm back in my big office. Instead of working though, I'm staring at the picture of Georgiana on my desk, only it's not her smiling face I'm seeing. In my head it's Lizzie.
It's always Lizzie.
She still hasn't returned to work despite Lydia being home. Then again I had told her she could take as long as she wanted. I had made this clear to Caroline too. Unfortunately she knew all the story as Charlie had decided to confide in his caring sister. She is walking around the place like she owns it. No doubt just dying for a chance to fill in Lady Catherine if she hasn't already. Aunt Catherine, the thought brings me back down to earth. What am I going to do? I want Lizzie. I need Lizzie. I love Lizzie. But I can't give up years and years of hard work.
I can hear noises outside, raised voices. Richard? What has him shouting in the office? I walk to the door out into the corridor and immediately know why. Wickham.
"What the hell are you doing here Wickham?" I shout grabbing Richard, exchanging glances with him making sure he is ok.
Wickham stumbles towards me with a lopsided grin. "Now, now Nicholas that's not a very nice way to talk to a friend is it?"
He's drunk. He's probably already gone through the money I gave him and back for more, well he's not getting it this time. I'd call the police whether they could do anything or not, at least everyone would know what kind of man he is. "You're no friend of mine - or Richards - Wickham, so get the hell out of here, before you make an even worse show of yourself and have to be removed."
"Shush, shush! I'm not here for you. I'm looking for my little friend Lizzie," he slurs. I stiffen instantly at the mention of her name. "I thought she'd be up here. You know, servicing the senior partners." He leans in to me, his alcohol fuelled breath in my face. "Was it you and Richard, or just you?" he whispers loudly.
I lunge forward ready to wipe that smile off his fucking face, but Richard's strong arms hold me back, my hands are shaking.
"Nick leave it, he's not worth it." Rich growls in my ear. He's struggling to control himself too. I knew Lizzie had become a favourite of his. He might have been interested in her himself had he seen her first. I thank god everyday he didn't go to that graduation ceremony. I'm not vain enough to think she would have chosen me over him. He is matched almost equally to me in every way, the difference being he would have been open about a relationship with her from the beginning. I knew she didn't feel that way about him, she had told me herself, but it still didn't stop me being jealous every time they share a joke –or a dance- together. "Get out Wickham. Now!" He bellows.
A crowd has gathered around us, and I hope people have thought about calling security before they came to watch the show.
Wickham has ignored Richard and comes back towards me. "Oh is she not here then? Shame, oh well, to be honest she is a bit old for me, you know me Darcy, I like 'em young." He sneers. "How is Georgiana these days?"
I strain against my cousins hold. Richard swears under his breath. "Ok, now you can hit him."
He lets go of me and before Wickham even knows what hit him, I do. My fist and the four years of pent up anger connect with his laughing jaw, knocking him off his feet, he lands in a pile at our feet. I am not done. I pick him up setting him back on his feet and then smack him again, this time I hear the crack of his nose breaking when my fist hits it. Blood spurts all over my white shirt, and all I can think is 'you've ruined Lizzie's favourite shirt.' That earns him a punch in the guts. He is on the floor again. Rich pulls me back saying he has had enough. Then he kicks him in the nuts for good measure. I shout for someone to call security if they haven't already, and have him removed.
I know people have heard what he had said about Lizzie, and my reaction, it wouldn't take a genius to work it out. Let alone a floor full of very intelligent people, but right now I don't care. I feel fantastic and all I want, is to be with Lizzie. Like right now. I turn back to my office to get out of their as fast as I can, when I see Aunt Catherine. She's coming out of human resources. She looks at me with a cold hard stare, like she gave me when she scolded us as children. It was enough to have you running and hiding under your bed, Richard and I knew it well. I brace myself for the lecture that never comes, she turns and goes back to her office.
I catch up with Rich. "What was that all about? Why was Catherine in HR?"
"I thought that was strange too, so I asked the girls in there, apparently she was after Lizzie's file."
"What does she want with that? Probably scanning it for any criminal convictions or her medical records." I laugh, suddenly feeling so much lighter.
We get to my office and he follows me in, coming and standing in front of my desk as I eagerly gather things into my case. "Nick, you know I love you as a cousin, and one of my closest friends, so before I say this, don't hate me." He looks at me sincerely. I nod. "What the hell are you playing at?" he demands. I stand stunned, I want to say I don't know what you're talking about, but I know exactly what he's talking about. "You have this beautiful girl who loves you." I look at him. He knows she loves me? "Yeah I know. I have friends too you know? She loves you Nick, not Rosings, not Pemberley - you. They just happen to come with you. You know that right? You know she's not after your money, that she probably loves you in spite of it, if anything. She agrees to you keeping her a secret for all that time, for what? Because this is where I get confused. That little show you just put on for our workforce proves to me that you feel exactly the same way. So, what are you playing at?"
I sigh exasperated. "I don't know Rich. I do love her, I love her so much I just beat up a man for her. Me. Nick Darcy; quiet, reserved, gentleman, beat the shit out of that trash and I'd like to say it was because of Georgiana but I really don't think she even came into it. I heard what he said about Lizzie and I saw red. I can do that, but I can't tell Aunt Catherine how I really feel about her."
"Why? You're a big boy Nick, she can't stop you from seeing each other." He argues.
"She could force Lizzie to quit." I admit.
"She could try, but you and I both know if Lizzie wants to stay, she will. Caroline couldn't force her out and neither will Catherine. So why don't we cut this crap and get to the real reason."
"Ok!" I sit down, building my confidence before I confess. "She could cut me off. There I said it." He looks at me confused, so I try to explain. "It's not the money. I don't need the money. I don't even need the job, but I want it. I worked too damn hard for it and I'm not prepared to give it up."
He sighs and sits down too. "But are you prepared to give up Lizzie, Nick? Because that's what this comes down to. Which one are you prepared to give up?" he stares at me waiting for an answer. I can't speak, I'm not sure I can breathe. I'm too wrapped up in that simple question and how to answer it. That's not true. I know the answer. Every part of me is screaming the answer. I just can't say it out loud, because it will change everything. He knows I'm delaying so he continues. "If you're so convinced you can't have both you need to choose. I won't make the decision for you, so don't ask me. But I will say this for you. There are plenty of other companies Nick, but there's only one Lizzie Bennet. You were prepared to fight Wickham for her, are you prepared to fight Rosings and Aunt Catherine for her too?"
I look at Richard, always the voice of reason. He won't tell me what to do, but in that little speech he'd laid it all out for me to see. He is right. There is only one question I have to ask myself: which am I prepared to lose, Rosings or Lizzie? There is only one answer. The one I had always known. The one my head and heart are now finally in agreement over. It's time I grow a pair and say it out loud.
"I want Lizzie."