Chapter Twenty-Four

Two weeks later I am anxiously awaiting the return of little miss Eliza. Lizzie. I can't call her Eliza any more. She hates it. I knew that. That's why I called her that. Now I have to call her Elizabeth or Lizzie as she is known to those closest to her.

She would be Elizabeth.

I decide to call in to Nick office and assure him I am all for her return. Step one of my plan: make him think I like Eliza. Make him think I'm happy for them. Then he'll lower his guard and eventually there will be concerns, things between them not working out, traits he can't live with. Flaws in her perfect personality that I can use to my advantage. The door is open so I enter, Nick is nowhere to be seen. I go to the desk to write him a note when I see the picture on his desk. For the past few years the picture of Georgiana on his desk has been the usual formal sitting that only changed with her age, however that is not what I am looking upon now. The frame held a picture of Georgiana and Eliza, their faces squashed together cheek to cheek both with their tongue out. Their eyes are bright and sparkling, their faces lit up from the inside out. Happiness and glee. I feel sick inside. My gut wrenches and I feel like I might actually throw up all over the imported desk. Georgiana is mine. We have always been close. As close as I allow myself to get with another human being not blood related to me. I have been the mentor and female figure for which she should strive to be like. I had been the one to introduce her to George Wickham and suggest it a good match. I never did understand why that didn't work out or why she distanced herself from me after that. When she left for college she became less and less frequent with her letters and emails until eventually they stopped. Other than the birthday cards and family occasions I had the privilege of being invited to, I hardly saw her. I miss her in a way. That female presence in my life. A friend.

I shrug myself out of my melancholy and return to my desk. I receive a phone call from reception to say my nine thirty is early, with no secretary in attendance yet, I have to go down myself and escort them up to the conference room. I enter the open lobby area and stop in my tracks. In front of me, about to enter the building through the large glass doors, are Nicholas and her, they are laughing and holding hands. He holds the door open for her above her head and she ducks under his arm. Once inside he slides his free hand around her waist and they walk across the floor. She bats him away laughing. I duck out of the way behind a concrete pillar so I can watch undetected. Nick looks around believing there is no one else present and pulls her towards him wrapping her hands around her back and holding them there as she begins to protest, before bending his neck down to her and kissing her. I never actually stopped and watched someone kissing like that. I mean I have seen it plenty of times on screen but to actually stand there feet away and witness something like that is … I don't know. But I don't like it. I don't like him kissing her and I especially don't like him doing it here in Rosings, a place of work for Christ's sake. It's him initiating it, not her. If anything she looks embarrassed and tries to pull away only to have him pull her back. His hands slide down and cup her bottom. I have to look away unable to stand it a moment longer, the thing that really plagues me is how I don't feel upset. I don't feel jealous. I don't feel hurt. I am angry, angry that she has what should be mine. But I'm not affected by them kissing, what does that mean?

I tip toe back up the last few steps and then make a noise coming back down them, to announce my presence. I see them break apart just as I appear and walk towards the desk. Pretending to be surprised at their appearance, I let them walk towards me. "Caroline, hi." She says.

"Welcome back Eliz-abeth." I correct myself. Her smile widens. "Nick. I'm just here to collect some clients that are here for an appointment." I explain. Elizabeth looks uncomfortable and shakes off Nick's hand. He's not happy about it and raises an eyebrow at her.

"I'm sorry Caroline. I should have been here earlier on my first day back. I'll take them upstairs and get them settled, that's my job." She turns to Nick scowling. "I'll see you later." She huffs and begins to walk away.

He reunites their hands and uses them to pull her back to him, kissing her again. She staggers a little, before shaking her head and straightening her back heads towards our clients. I don't know what just happened, but this day is growing steadily worse. Nick gazes after her like a love sick fool. I roll my eyes behind his back, as if he can see me, he turns almost catching me. "She's late because of me Caroline. I apologise. It won't happen again." he says sincerely.

"You said this thing between you wouldn't affect work?" I remind him.

"Yes I did. Again I'm sorry." He looks at his feet. "I'm new at all this."

"Dating the staff?"

"Dating at all." He raise his head, "I can't help it. I love her. I struggle to let her go, I mean physically. It tugs on my heart to watch her walk away and to know I don't know when I will see her next."

"Wow." This time I roll my eyes pointedly at him.

He smiles. "Pathetic I know."

I try to smile back. "A little. I'm just surprised. It all seems to be happening so fast and now an engagement? You don't even know each other, not well at least."

"Careful Caz you sound a lot like lady Catherine." He warns.

"She wasn't completely wrong in what she was saying Nick. You are responsible for a lot of people. All I can say is thank god for pre-nup's. That way at least when you come to your senses you won't have lost too much. Not our beloved Pemberley. I couldn't stand it if she took that away from us."

I hadn't realised how far I'd let myself go until I saw the thunderous expression on his face. "Caroline. We've been friends for a long time, so I'm going to forget what you just said. But rest assured, if you ever say anything like that about my wife-to-be again, and it will you who will never set foot in Pemberley again, or Rosings, or anywhere near me, understood?" He threatens.

"Nick I didn't mean-"

"I know what you meant." He cuts me off assuring me he had seen through my pretence already. "Elizabeth is here against my better judgement. I told her I would help her find employment somewhere new, a different practice. I didn't want her to return here, because despite what I told her, I knew there would be bitterness and jealousy. I just didn't expect it to come from one of my closest friends. Don't you want me to be happy Caroline? Don't you think I deserve someone after all this time of putting other people's happiness before my own? Someone who miraculously loves me for me. Lizzie isn't interested in Pemberley. She'd be happy if I sold it tomorrow and gave all the proceeds away to charity, she'd love me if I was living in a cardboard box. She loves me Caroline and I love her too. Now please accept it and be happy for us. Be a part of our lives, or remove yourself from it." He states simply.

I nod, unable to speak after the scolding I had just received, not all, but in the most part, because of the truth he spoke. I am his friend and as Charlie had said, I should want him to be happy and if Elizabeth makes him happy … then I should let them be.

For as long as it lasts and then be there to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart and ensuring he doesn't lose his family estate as long with his heart.

I spend the next few hours trying to prove how ok I am with their union, even if it is all a lie, I am a good actress. I have done it countless times before. I can act happy even if I am dying inside. At lunchtime I receive a text from Charlie asking me to come for dinner at their new place tonight. I'm reluctant to attend. I have a feeling a nice massage and bath is in order tonight, I wasn't up to spending time with another Bennet. I call him to ask if it's possible to reschedule, but he tells me no and what's more, I won't be the only one in attendance. The happy couple are invited also. Lovely.

I decide then to make this my first opportunity to show Nick exactly what he is missing. I make an appointment at a few of favourite places and decide to cancel the rest of my clients and take the afternoon off to go shopping. I walk over to my secretary's desk and find her smiling at her phone. I look over her shoulder and see a photo of Nick acting goofy on her screen saver, he has on a silly hat and is pulling a face, I shrug off the feelings of disgust at what she is resorting my friend to and cough to make my presence known. She starts and quickly shuts her phone in her drawer. "Have you heard from Charlie or your sister, about tonight?"

"No, I hadn't but Nick, Mr Darcy, has just informed me. It should be a nice night, it will be good for us to get to know each other away from work don't you think Caroline?"

I smile and quickly let it drop. "I will be taking the rest of the afternoon off. I have a few errands to run before tonight. Please cancel my appointments, make apologies and reschedule where necessary."

"Yes of course."

"You will be here while five I presume?"

"That is my finishing time, so yes I will here until them." She promises.

"Good. Thank you Elizabeth." I turn to go but something catches my eye, something glinting against the overhead lighting. I had tired my upmost to avoid looking at it while she had been here and now I have no choice, it is demanding I take notice of it. Her left hand covers the mouse near her keyboard and I get a full view of the ring sat there on her third finger, I am expecting a huge diamond, some trashy showy over-sized rock. A priceless gem too heavy for her to lift her hand. I'm not expecting the delicate intricate piece of jewellery I am now faced with. A piece I have seen countless times. One I never ever thought I would see upon anyone's finger except mine. It is Mrs Darcy's ring. It is the ring Nick's father had presented to Nick's mother. He had given her his mother's ring.

I swallow past the lump forming in my mouth and try to walk away while I still can. My legs are rapidly turning to jelly. I make it back to my desk and sink down into my chair. That ring, the one I have looked upon in all the pictures and paintings in Pemberley since I was a teenager. The one Georgiana had nervously removed from her mother's jewellery box one night to show me. The one Nick had promised his father to never give to anyone but his one true love, is now sitting on Eliza Bennet's hand! I slam my hands down hard on the desk causing the items on top to wobble. He can't have, he can't truly believe she's the one; he's intending to spend the rest of his life with her.

I think about the ring. I had thought about it off and on for years. Its thin yellow gold band completely made up of diamonds. And in the centre a large oval shaped diamond surrounded by a cluster of blue sapphires. Something blue, their father had told their mother when he slipped it on her finger. On their first anniversary he had brought her earrings to match, on the birth of Nick; a bracelet. I wonder silently if Nick will shower Elizabeth with these gifts as well. She has the ring, she has the man and she has the future that was mapped out for me. How can this have happened? What did I do wrong?