Finny's Confusion, Part 6
Finny crouched in the dark pantry, his face was blazing hot. He'd made the most embarrassing mistake ever. While he was carrying in Madam Red's bags, he had swirled around too quick and knocked her down into Master Ciel. Sebastian, though, was quick as lightening and immediately righted the two. The dark butler then glared at Finny, castigated him, and sent him to the rest of his tasks.
He felt so lost in all the wild commotion swirling around the mansion when he normally loved parties. He was still worried about what Snake had seen, and he couldn't be at peace until he had answers. He hadn't spotted the former circus performer before the formal dinner had started.
Also, Grell Sutcliff seemed to only add as much chaos as Bard and Mey-rin combined. Finny had hoped hiding away in the pantry would help calm things down. He was finished with his tasks, so he shouldn't be missed. Anyway, Sebastian had a knack for finding him when needed.
Currently, Bard would be busy with the desserts of chocolate and fruit; Mey-rin would be busy with the coffee and nightcaps. Tanaka had already turned in, of course. Grell seemed busy with chasing after Sebastian for some reason Finny didn't understand. He, however, hadn't seen Snake at all, nor his reptile friends, even after dinner.
His stomach started aching horribly as his mind worried more over what Snake had seen last night. Finny started hoping it was actually Sebastian that had tucked him rather than Snake, but he had a sinking feeling that wasn't the case. Finny started talking himself into sneaking to his bed and just hiding away from Snake.
He knew he should start heading out towards the back of the hothouse like Snake had asked, but the potential talk started to loom so large and dark in his mind. He had wanted to blurt out everything, but now, after some time, all he wanted was to be silent and hide. Fear of what Snake was thinking of him had taken over.
He tried to rise to shaky feet, but he flopped back down to his rump when he saw Wordsworth. The elderly serpent slid up to Finny and nudge his triangular head against Finny's soft arm. Oh wow! Finny was amazed the serpent had forgiven him and was being so kind.
Finny took a breath and explained nervously to Wordsworth, "I can't go see your friend right now. He frightens me!" Then he clamped hands over his mouth. When he calmed down he gave a gentle pat to Wordsworth's head and stood. "I just... I just can't... I like him too much to let him know what happened to me. It's better he never knows."
With that, Finny bolted from the pantry and tried to find a place he could foil Snake's friends. He hid in the Phantomhive Estate's boiler room. After all, it was so hot downstairs in that small space. Surely Snakes friends would keep out! He crouched down in the shadows of the room. The steamy room started lulling him into a nap.
Oscar, Keats, Emily, Wilde, Brontë, and Dan all perked up from their nice steam bath when they heard a human stifling tears. They all poked their heads out from under the nice warm boiler, fooshing their tails in irritation at being disturbed.
It was Snake's human friend, the gardener. He was certainly a noisy human boy, but he treated them well. Besides, they all could sense Snake was extremely fond of the younger boy. Humans rarely came down to this snakes' paradise so they mentally called out for Snake to come and check on the gardener.
My hands slipped off the hot brass bars, and I plunged down towards the darkness at the bottom. I couldn't scream or move. All I could do was fall towards those amber eyes below.
I was falling now, and I couldn't stop it. What was to happen next? Being next to that mysterious creature... waiting on me. It was inevitable. I was to be next to him for a very long time.
Snake paced back and forth behind the hothouse. He had gotten more and more worried over Finny. The gardener had had a hard night after knocking over Master Ciel's aunt. Snake was certain Finny was taking his clumsy mistake hard. What Snake was worried about was that Finny desperately wanted to talk about last night at the worst possible time. This was a better time with more privacy, after dinner and by the hothouse.
He had sent Wordsworth to go find Finny when it was starting to grow very late at night. It seemed like forever before he heard Oscar, Keats, Emily, Wilde, Brontë, and Dan's mental voices calling in his head. The serpents had watched Finny hide by the boiler. Wordsworth finally had found Finny in the boiler room and joined the others in basking in the steam. Snake asked them to prod Finny from hiding, but they said they couldn't. Finny was in a deep sleep and ignoring the serpents. Snake, it seemed, had to go to Finny.
Snake gritted his teeth and followed their mental call. It was coming from the steamy boiler room, so Snake was baffled why Finny would be hiding there. It was way too hot for a mammal, though it was his friends' favorite place in the whole manor house.
Snake crept into the basement, grateful every person had seemed to have turned in for the night. Except for Sebastian. Snakes' friends had long since reported to him that the dark butler never seemed to sleep, just wandered the manor house at all hours. He avoided Black's... no, Sebastian's... normal path.
He crept into the boiler room and found Finny balled up in a corner, fast asleep. He crouched down in front of Finny and touched his shoulder. Finny started awake, looking absolutely frightened.
Finny wouldn't meet Snake's eyes and stammered, "I... I fell asleep down here and... Wait! How did you know I was here?"
Snake pointed towards his friends who's heads were poking out from under the boiler.
"But... it isn't too hot in here for them?" Finny asked, trying to get rid of some of the moister droplets on his forehead, but his sleeve barely did any good.
Snake repressed a sigh and shook his head. "The warmer, the better. This is their favorite place in the house because it's so warm, Wordsworth says."
"Oh," Finny mumbled numbly.
"Why didn't you meet me, Brontë asks?" Snake prodded.
Finny almost looked in pain. His skin was glowing red from the steamy heat, and it occurred to Snake how uncomfortable it must be for a regular mammal in this room. He stood and held out his hand to Finny. Finny look horribly upset over something. He was trembling when he gingerly took Snake's hand. He tugged Finny upwards and insisted, "We need to talk."
They had ran into Bard, and Finny had to explain that he needed to talk to Snake in private. That didn't go over well with the American chef. Snake kept quiet to not antagonize Bard further. Bard had been looking for Finny since it was time to tuck in and he'd been missing. Finny promised to be back to the servants' quarters soon when Bard griped about Finny gallivanting around at all hours with Snake.
That made Snake feel judged, but Finny made a very sincere plea that there was something he had to explain to Snake. Bard finally backed down and said they had to get back in a couple of hours... or else... This was just as Snake's reptile friends were drifting off to sleep and he no longer had the press of their voices in his head. It was just him that would be speaking until at least one of them woke up.
Snake ignored Bard's threat, but still got angry with the American chef all over again. He wished the man would give him the benefit of a doubt when in came to Finny's well being. They slipped away to the center of the garden and sat on the edge of the moonlit water fountain. Snake let Finny pick the place so he... or she... would be most comfortable. Snake desperately hoped Finny would confess the lie and they could continue their friendship... maybe even further it.
"Last night, was it you who cleaned me up and tucked me in bed?" Finny's soft voice was almost drowned out by the tumbling water of the fountain.
"Yes. I was as quick and as discreet as possible. I swear I was very respectful of your person, and I'll keep your secret. I just ask that you at least be truthful when it's just the two of us. I despise lies. Lies never lead to anything that is wholesome or enlightening," Snake explained.
Finny flinched and looked up at Snake with utter confusion. "Lies? I mean... I'd understand... if things... a misunderstanding." Finny shook his head. "I don't understand what you think I'm lying about."
"Finny," Snake said, hating his own disapproving tone because those green eyes of Finny's looked so utterly confused. Snake talked softer. "I saw all of you... without clothes. I know you have a secret. I know you're really a girl."
Finny just stared at him for several long moments, then shook his head vigorously. His expression had gone from shock, to fear, to anger. He burst out, "How could you be so cruel to me?! How could you accuse me of that?! It's not true!"
Snake was taken aback at Finny's offense. His staunch denial of the obvious was strange. "There is no denying you were born a girl. I..." Snake's face grew hot, "I know what I saw... or didn't see... when I cleaned you. I'm just telling you that I saw the truth. You don't have to hide with me."
"You don't understand," Finny's demeanor grew so utterly dark. "I'm not... I was... I was..." Finny's chest seemed to tightened as he said, "I was a boy... am a boy... but die Wissenschaftler... they... they changed me. They took away things, but I swear I'm a boy!"
"Hun?" Snake's head drifted sideways as he tried to make sense of Finny's resolute declaration. "Finny, I promise. You're a girl. Naturally born."
Finny shook his head vigorously. "I can't be that way... a girl. They always called me 'der Hund' which is male. And there were only boys there with me. I'm not a girl! They hurt me down there and they took.. took what made me a boy... cut me... cut me up!" Finny froze and shivered. His expression grew cold and empty. "Do you understand now? I am a boy, but they experimented on me."
Snake steadied himself and realized with a sudden shock that Finny truly believed he was born a boy and that those scientists had changed him into being a female of some sort. Snake shook his head. "Do you remember them actually changing your body?"
The question seemed to calm Finny into a more reasoned state. Finny's brow furrowed, and he was silent for several long minutes. "I can't remember the actual time they did it. I do know I am a boy. It's just they changed me when I was very little," Finny insisted.
"Why do you think that? Is it because they told you that?"
Finny sighed glumly. He seemed to shrink into himself and move a little way from Snake. "I never knew the reason they did anything to me. All I know is that it always hurt."
"I promise I know what I saw last night. You're a girl," Snake said, feeling weird over arguing with someone over their gender. But Finny was so unique, it was worth Snake's every effort to heal this deep hurt inside of younger boy... no, girl. "What they mutilated was your breasts, not what was between your legs."
"I just can't believe you," Finny said firmly. "I mean... those scars are from fighting. Maybe... I don't really remember."
Then he came along, startling both Snake and Finny.
Madam Red's butler, Grell Sutcliff, wandered around the fountain and shook his head. "What an interesting conversation." They both started at the black clothed man with his brunette hair tied back with a giant, red bow. Snake could tell Finny's pulse had accelerated. "You know there is someone here you could ask that would settle your argument definitively."
"Oh, Grell, why?" Madam Red asked, giving her butler a cross look. "I've always assumed the gardener was a boy. It's highly irregular to hear that he's presumed a girl, and you want me to confirm these facts? Especially, at this hour at night? It's almost midnight."
They were in the sitting room of Madam Red's guest suite. Everything was under low lighting, and her bed was turned down and waiting for her. She even had a book and a glass of merlot waiting on her nightstand. But behind the irritation she was showing her "butler," she knew she had better not ignore him. After all, he had found her and raised her up at the lowest point in her life. He was her partner in deep sins, and she had to accommodate him from time to time.
"Let's just say I'm asking a favor for a friend, and it'll benefit your nephew in the end," Grell said. Then his voice dropped low. "Besides, we still have our agreement." He took her hand and gave it a slow, sensual kiss. "You remember we protect one another, right? I do your chores and you do mine, right?"
She pulled away slowly with a grim expression. "Yes," she answered in a brittle tone.
It was the middle of the night when she came out of her guest rooms and and summoned the shivering child towards her. Those large, green eyes were so beautiful and held so much fear. She wrapped an arm around the shoulder of her nephew's gardener. She then looked at the reptilian boy and said, "Footman, why don't you say that the gardener has a stomach ache that was bad enough to see a doctor. I'll be attending him."
The footman rose from the chair he'd been sitting in and nodded. He glanced at Finny, but said nothing. He ran down the hallway, something seemed to be burning on his mind.
Grell nodded, too, and said, "I best leave you to your new patient. Anything else, Madam?"
"No, I'm good. Give me about an hour. Give Sebastian a report that the gardener is ill. Will you?"
"Of course, Madam," Grell said with a bright smile.
"Alright, I did your dirty work, Bessy," Grell griped, meeting Sebastian in the library still in his plain butler form, which he hated because he had wanted to primp for Sebastian. "Why all this charade anyway?"
"Because I miscalculated something within humans," Sebastian admitted, a rarity for for the demon butler.
Grell crossed his arms and eagerly asked, "What was that?" He'd loved to hold something over Sebastian's head.
"Due to Finnian's trauma I had always found it easier to let her believe she was boy. I never disabused her of that notion because it would have disrupted everything I've constructed here. However, there's been a new player introduced to the Phantomhive household recently."
"The footman!" Grell said, starting to catch on. "Ah... you never accounted for Snake."
"Yes, I never anticipated the young master hiring him, which I do approve of, because Snake has some wonderful attributes that are very beneficial to Phantomhive. The wrinkle comes in the form of an attraction that has grown between Finnian and Snake.
"Now, I have to let Finnian know she is a girl before things progress further between her and Snake. The shock of them discovering the truth by accident may be too much for them to handle. It would disturb the balance between my carefully hand-picked servants. Madam Red can ease Finnian into the idea that she's not who she thinks she is because Finnian has been trained to obey and trust doctors above all else."
Grell chuckled a little and said, "That's the problem with you demons; you were never human, therefore you don't take into account those things like love and attraction. Not like my kind." Grell leaned closer to Sebastian, but he disappeared into the shadows too quickly.
He glowered and marched off to his temporary quarters where the other male servants slept. He let Bardroy know Finny was "ill" and being looked after by Madam Red. The man seemed to take the information in and go back to sleep. Grell sighed in frustration and settled into a bed. He had hoped Sebastian would give him a reward rather than be so cold.
To be continued.