Boyue's Note: This one is for Sydness and Biju! I'M SORRY!
MATERNAL HEART
"The Third Trimester…
Without A Plan"
Damien and Kenny sit on the couch for a good while – a long while without making a sound to each other. In the moment of silence, they can hear Pip's faint whines coming from the bedroom. Kenny's hands are clasped loosely over his laps; his lips purse tightly like someone has glued his mouth shut. Damien has a different expression. He stares blankly at his reflection off the television screen. The black silhouette stares back at him, silently pressing him to make up his mind.
What in the name of all that is unholy is he going to do?
He has just found out that his baby is, more or less, pure evil and will kill him sometime in the future. The logical choice would naturally be to get rid of the baby but Damien can't do that; he can't break Pip's heart like that. And he doesn't have the time to dilly-dally around. The baby has to come out or Pip will be in danger. What a hand he's been dealt with. The anti-Christ has seen his shares of messed-up shits in his life… but nothing so horrible.
He looks over and studies the thoughtful expression on Kenny's face. He knows his friend well enough to know that Kenny is formulating something helpful. Kenny shifts his body and turns his head. They look at each other for a few seconds. Damien eagerly waits for Kenny to propose a plan to solve the problem.
Sadly, the words that come out of Kenny's mouth are: "That's fucked-up."
"I know that's fucked-up," Damien hisses, throwing his hand in the air, "you don't have to fucking tell me."
"What are you going to do?"
"Um." Damien rolls his eyes. "If I knew that, I won't be sitting here, wasting my time with you."
Kenny scoffs and turns his head away, and that makes Damien feel a little bad. He sighs and gently pushes his knee against Kenny's. Kenny looks up with a lick of his lips and shrugs his shoulders slightly.
"I…" Damien starts and snorts at himself. He can't believe he is actually going all faggy on Kenny. Maybe he has spent too much time with Pip. "I could really use… some help and you're the only one I've got. So please… help me because I have no idea what the fuck I am going to do."
He watches Kenny's brows furrowed and knows that he is definitely cooking up something good. Kenny scoots over and places his hand on Damien's knee and somehow that makes Damien swallows really hard, like he is trying to stop something from coming up his throat.
"You should," Kenny says slowly, giving little squeezes to Damien's knee, "you should find out all you can about this 'second anti-Christ' thing before you make any definitive conclusion. Maybe there is a loophole in the rulebook. There could very well be something you can do to stop this whole thing from happening."
"What if there isn't?" Damien narrows his eyes. His voice comes out softer than he intended. "What if this is it?"
"If I know anything about the universe, it's that there is always a way."
As much as Damien wishes to believe the smile on Kenny's face, his own lips turn downward. He feels like burning something up. Maybe he should drop by Eric Cartman's house for a surprise visit. Kenny gives his knee a pat and flashes a supportive grin. Damien's only response is to sigh through his nose. Call him pessimistic, but he just can't see a way out of it. Because if he knows anything about the universe, it's that it's always looking for a way to fuck people over.
"Everything's going to be fine," Kenny says. "Believe in yourself and Pip. You'll make it."
"Ha," Damien scoffs, "that sounds like a line out of a bad script."
"It's a classic," Kenny responds with a wink. He stands up and walks around the couch until he is behind Damien. He pats Damien on the shoulder and says, "I'll let you get cracking."
"Thanks, Kenny." Damien turns his head upward and finally shows a smile, however pathetic it is.
Kenny nods and shows himself out after he gives Damien one last squeeze on the shoulder. Damien leans back against the couch and closes his eyes. As soon as Kenny leaves the apartment, all the despair and uncertainty rush back into his chest. He pinches his nose bridge and winces. He blinks when he hears Pip calling his name softly. But he doesn't move an inch. He only turns his head toward the direction of the bedroom and listens quietly to Pip repeating his name over and over.
And a horrible thought runs through his head.
"Fuck."
Damien is quickly becoming accustomed to feeling like shit every day. For last month, he has spent every waking moment looking for some loopholes as Kenny has suggested. And he has come up empty. Every book he finds pretty much tells him that he is fucked; completely-utterly-without-a-doubt-fucked. There is no miracle way to get out of it. Two anti-Christs cannot exist at the same time. Simple as that. Coming back from Hell today, Damien has decided to give up.
He shoves the key into the apartment door and nudges the door open. And he can't believe what he is seeing. To the untrained eyes, it looks like they have been robbed. But to Damien, he knows damn well what the hell is happening.
All the cupboards and drawers in the kitchen are wide open and their contents scatter all over the place. A few dishes lie shattered on the floor while pairs of knives and spoons levitate in the air, circling to a soundless tune. The breakfast table and its chairs rock back and forth. The fridge door opens and closes on its own; the light flashes on and off, on and off. The faucet runs and overflows the sink; the water form little puddle that move as they will.
Damien scans the living room and sees Pip sitting on the couch with his back turned to him. He notices the end of Pip's messy ponytail is floating upward, like someone is pulling his hair. He also notices how perfectly still Pip is sitting. Not to mention how quiet he is. His little British lover would usually greet him with a warm hug and gentle kisses as soon as he comes through the door. But Pip stays seated with a stiff back, not moving an inch or making a reaction even as Damien comes closer.
Fuck. This is bad.
"Pip?" Damien calls, walking around to the couch.
Pip's eyes lock to the wall like a lifeless mannequin. His breathing is steady but shallow. With each breath, the bump in his belly raises and falls like a balloon can't be inflated. Damien puts his hand on Pip's cheek and frowns when he notices how hot Pip's body is. Lately, Pip's been acting more weird than usual. The mood swings are gone; now all Pip express is a stoic emptiness. Damien is actually missing the days when Pip was throwing the toaster at him. At least moody Pip was interesting.
But whatever it is happening right now is worse than anything Damien has experienced.
"Pip," he says, rubbing the Brit's cheek, "c'mon…"
The herbs that Doctor Ralph gave him must be fucking Pip up bad. But it is all he has to keep the baby's demonic power under control. Or at least, the herbs used to. Judging from the state of his apartment, Damien concludes that he is running out of time.
He turns Pip's head over so he can get a better look. Pip's cheeks flush like he has a fever along with his body temperature. Pip gives him a dull look. He blinks and in a flash of a moment, his sapphire eyes glow red like blood. Then a snarky smile appears on his lips.
"Hello Father," Pip drawls.
Damien takes a hurried step back. He hisses at the wide smile on Pip's face. He clutches his fists and fights the urge to punch Pip. It wasn't Pip's fault – it's the goddamned baby!
"Get the fuck out!" he shouts. "Leave Pip alone!"
And as quickly as the change has happened, it is gone. Pip blinks; his eyes return normal and his expression softens. He stares blankly ahead of him for a moment before he turns his head to Damien.
"O-oh! Damien, you are home! When did you get back? I have missed you so," Pip chirps. He stands up and moves toward Damien for a hug.
"You… feeling alright, Pip?" Damien asks, putting his arms around Pip's bulky frame.
"Oh, I feel quite alright. A little tired, but that's about all. That's why I was taking a nap." Pip smiles and puts his hands on Damien's cheeks. "But my dear, you look dreadful. Hard day at work?"
"No, no, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Pip, you sure you are okay?"
"Y-yes, quite dandy," Pip says with a frown, but otherwise, he appears as normal. But as soon as he catches a glimpse of the kitchen, he gasps, throwing his hand over his mouth, "Oh my! What happened here?!"
Damien could tell the truth and tell Pip that their evil baby did it, but he chooses to lie instead. He rubs Pip's shoulders, hating that Pip is trembling a bit. The Brit leans toward him with his hands on clutching on his shoulders and Damien welcomes him into his arms.
"An earthquake," Damien says, holding Pip in his embrace.
"Earthquake? I didn't know we had earthquakes in South Park. Oh, how terrible! I certainly hope no one is hurt!"
Damien shrugs and pulls Pip closer toward him. He feels the belly bumped against his stomach and growls under his breath when he feels the baby kicking. Pip rests his chin on Damien's shoulders and sighs deeply.
"Oh, the quake must have frightened the baby," Pip mumbles, "he is kicking very hard right now."
"Stupid kid," Damien scowls.
"Damien, I know you don't mean it," Pip pouts, wiggling his finger.
Damien laughs and nods his head. In his mind, he wishes… If only Pip knows the truth.
Time is up.
Damien is convinced he has lost the game. So he is feeling a bit – well, correction – he is feeling very very down. And when he is feeling down, he likes to do something impulsive. He strolls back into the apartment and breathes a sigh of relief when he sees nothing out of the ordinary – no floating forks or packages of ham running wild.
Pip is sitting by the kitchen table, gluing something together. The Brit flashes a bright grin as Damien comes closer. Damien looks at the project on the table and bits his lips. Pip is making a door sign for the nursery, even though they don't actually have a room designated as the baby's room yet.
"Cute sign," Damien says, eying the baby blue and yellow block letters.
"Thank you, dear," Pip answers with a smile. "I have to finish gluing them on the block and I'll be done."
"Take a break. Sniffing glue isn't good for you."
Pip looks up and purses his lips together, wordlessly telling Damien that he wants to keep going. Damien grabs the other chair and pulls it close so he can sit next to Pip. He takes Pip's hands – both of them – and hold them tight. Pip nods and smiles with a small frown.
"You seem worried," Pip comments. "Is something the matter?"
Damien shakes his head. If he speaks, he is afraid he'll say the wrong thing. But Pip knows him so well that he can see right through him. The blonde gasps and squeezes Damien's hands back.
"I-If there is something the matter with the baby," Pip asks, "you will tell me, yes?"
"Why would you think that?"
"I… Lately, he is somewhat…"
"What?" Damien perks up, tightening his hold on Pip's hands. "What's the baby doing?"
"Oh, it's difficult to explain, I'm afraid," Pip says, lowering his eyes. "I have been having bad dreams. Just terrible dreams… I can't say what is happening in them, only they leave me with such chills and fear."
Damien runs his hand up to Pip's hair. Pip can really use a hair cut but he hasn't really wanted to leave the house for a while now, and Damien isn't about to cut Pip's hair himself. He leans in and plants a quick kiss on Pip's flushed cheek, noticing again that Pip's body temperature is hotter than normal.
"They are just dreams," Damien says, "they mean nothing."
"Y-yes, you are right." And still, the look of nervousness lingers on Pip's face.
Damien realizes he has to switch the subject to something happier. Plus, there is something important he needs to tell Pip.
"Guess what I did today?" He smiles and says, "I went to see my dad. We had a really nice talk."
"How lovely," Pip chuckles. "I'm awfully happy you're getting along better with your father."
Damien decides not to tell Pip that his dad still kind-of hates Pip a lot, and that the majority of their talk involves Satan trying to convince him to get rid of the baby. He nods, faking a smile, and squeezes Pip's hands.
"Then," he goes on, "I went to see your parents."
Pip's jaw drops, and Damien feels him trembled.
"M-my parents…?"
"Yeah, I told them about the baby."
"Oh!"
"They are really excited."
"Oh! I-I…" Pip gasps, his lips quivering with what Damien hopes is joy. "T-that's… wonderful! That is so wonderful…"
"Isn't it?" Damien laughs and brings his hand to rub Pip's cheeks, which are starting to flush redder than before. "But the real reason I went to see your parents…"
"Y-yes?"
"... is so I can ask them permission to do this."
Damien could've laughed at himself silly for getting off the chair and getting down on his knee if he isn't completely serious. Hell, he is having a hard time believing he is actually getting on one knee. But he figures it is what Pip would want, being the romantic sap that he is. And, he is completely right because Pip stops breathing. The bright blue eyes, opened wide, stares at him. Pip's lips quiver and his body trembles so much that even Damien's hands are shaking.
"Phillip Pirrup," Damien whispers, trying his best to be romantic, "will you marry me?"
Pip's initial response is a loud wheeze for air. Then he scrunches his face and lets out a high cry. Damien chuckles. That has to be mean 'yes', right? But all Pip does is nod his head so ferociously that Damien is afraid his neck will break. He pinches Pip's cheek with a grin, wiping away the heavy flow of tears.
"Well?"
"O-oh, dear, y-yes! Yes! Yes! A million yes!"
"Good," Damien says, "now, stop crying. You're supposed to be happy."
"I-I'm terribly sorry," Pip chokes out. He palms his face for a moment and sniffles hard. He takes multiple breathes to refill his lungs, eyes darting upward to dry his tears. When he is ready, he takes hold of Damien's hands and says, "Everything in my life is so perfect because of you."
Damien's reaction is to lean in and captures those delicate soft lips. Pip quickly throws his arms behind Damien's neck and locks their bodies tight. Damien takes a sharp inhale through his nose, not wanting to break from Pip's eager mouth. They kiss and kiss, their fingers raking through each other's hair, their mouths whispering each other's name. Damien doesn't want to let go. If he ends the kiss, the moment is over and he has to go back to facing their reality. But Pip doesn't know that and he pushes away to invite air into his lungs. And though Damien is disappointed and crushed with impending depression, he lets it go. He takes a deep breath.
He can't lie to Pip anymore.
"Listen to me," Damien says, cupping Pip's face with both hands, "no matter what happens, I will always love you."
"And I will too."
"Good. Because there is something I need to tell you."
TO BE CONTINUED…
Boyue's Note: SHITTTTT. I fail so hard. I'm sorry. OTL
The next chapter will be the last. D8
EDIT: Geeez. FF wouldn't let me upload this chapter for the longest time. D8
06.25.09
1:44 AM