Chapter 5-Nightmares
I drifted in and out of consciousness all night. The restraints were back on, in case I tried to hurt myself or worse, tried to hurt others. I overheard one of the residents said I tried to drown one of the patients when I thought she was an enemy from the Dark Kingdom. That was the last time I woke up from my catatonic fugue state.
Eventually, I drifted into a restless sleep. At first, the dreams were out of focus. Everything was blurry and I didn't really know what was going on. Then, without warning, my visions cleared and I was back in my own world.
I woke up in a purple glass coffin. I tried to move and scream, but I was a bug trapped in amber. On top of me, I could see my friends. They were all there….Sailor Moon, Mars, Venus and Jupiter. Sailor Moon was doing one of her healing spells on the coffin, trying to get me out. The light bounced off the glass and the bug remained trapped. Mars was trying to do her "fire soul" attack but was stopped by Venus. I could hear Venus saying that the fire would melt the coffin but would also melt me in the process. Not good. Upon hearing that, Jupiter knelt down and started punching the glass. One. Two. Three. One. Two. Three. The rhythm of her punching echoed through my body. I was mesmerized at how powerful Jupiter was. She kept punching, to a point of blood smearing her knuckles. The others watched. I tried to shout, "Mako, stop." I couldn't even move my lips. After ten minutes of punching, it was getting useless. I knew in my heart that I could not be rescued by outside forces. Somehow, I had to end the nightmare myself. Venus looked around and her face turned sad. She wiped a tear off her face and turned to the others. "We have to move on now." Sailor Moon wailed that she was not leaving me again, not like what she did back at D point. "We need to save Ami-chan."
Mako was still punching the glass, oblivious to the discussion behind her. My heart ached as I watched her hand getting more mangled. Mars grabbed Jupiter from behind, trying to get her to stand. Jupiter flung her away, accidentally hitting Mars in the eye. Shocked, Jupiter tried to apologize. Mako then collapsed on top of me, completely devastated. She realized too that she must move on with the scouts. They would have to leave me behind. I wish I was dead.
Mako leaned down and kissed the coffin. "Wait for me, Ami. I am coming back. Hang in there." I watched, helplessly, as my friends walked away. I understood.
The memories were coming back. I was right all along. The psychiatric hospital was the illusion, not the Sailor scouts. Before I woke up in this hospital, I was with them, tracking down a new enemy that had kidnapped Chibiusa. She called herself Queen Badiane. The fairy that worked under her, Peruru, turned good at the last minute. He helped us get to this castle, which was floating in the middle of the sky. Unfortunately, the Queen decided to strike first. The blast was coming straight toward Usagi. I pushed Usagi away and then I was hit….
"Ami. Ami. Wake up." Someone was shaking me violently. I opened my eyes and looked up at my mom's face. "You were crying and yelling in your sleep. I just want to wake you up from whatever nightmare you were having. Are you okay?"
No, mom. This is the nightmare. I just went back into my world. I wanted to say those things but I bit my tongue. Mom had come to believe that I was making progress here and that I was slowly saying goodbye to my fantasy world. So, I tried to put on a smile and nodded. "I am okay now, mom. Thanks for waking me."
She put a hand on my head and then started to slowly stroke my hair. She used to do this when I was a kid. If I had trouble sleeping or if I was too depressed to eat, she would do this to soothe me. My mind started to relax, responding to her touch. I closed my eyes.
A few more minutes, I could hear mom get up and leave. She whispered, "I am sorry", and then she closed the door. I opened my eyes again. I turned and look out the window. The full moon hung in the sky, shining its warm light into the room. "The sailor scouts are real. They are real. I have to wake up." I said it over and over to myself. I was afraid that come morning, I would forget about all of this. When I do, when I start to believe this world more than the other, then I would be truly trapped in that coffin for eternity.
Mom mentioned that I was "coherent and lucid" before and then I was pulled back into my fugue state. I needed to find out what happened. With a new plan in mind, I was finally able to drift back into sleep. Mercifully, it was a dreamless sleep….