I'm on cloud nine.

And I'm not sure when I'm getting off.

"Troy!"

"Sorry, what?" I get out of my head and look over at Gabriella, "yeah?"

She gives me a weird look and a laugh, "you okay?"

I nod. I was just thinking about how I'm on cloud nine because of you, but you know, I don't really want to tell her that.

Maybe we can be cheesy and stuff with each other, but I don't want to freak her out. I know we have genuine feelings for each other and it's been a few weeks since that night of her parents anniversary party, but moving too fast might freak her out a little bit.

"Yeah, I'm fine, what's up?"

"Nothing, I'm done," she says, "we can go."

I laugh, getting up of the sofa couch I was sitting on in this store while she was shopping around. "I'm fine just sitting here, you know..."

Gabriella shrugs, "and you're great for that, but I couldn't find anything."

She's not a big shopper. I mean, she shops around obviously for clothes, but she doesn't take hours like Emily.

Which is why I'm completely okay coming with her.

"Where to now?"

"Lunch?" She asks, "I'm starving."

"Me too," I push the door open for us to exit. "Down for sushi?"

She agrees. Sushi it is.

As we're walking through Fashion Valley, this shopping center in San Diego, Gabriella reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers. Something that's been happening almost every single day we're walking anywhere... except school. She grabs my hand, or wraps her arm around mine and we walk. And it's my favorite thing because it feels right. And it feels good. And I feel like she's mine and I'm hers.

The thing I like most about this transition... from being friends to being more than friends... is that it's been so easy. It's not the least bit awkward.

And we hang out all the time. Every day.

"My parents are going to Mexico," she tells me as our waitress took our drink order.

"Why? And when?"

She opens up her menu and shrugs, "for fun. The Powells invited them. Next weekend. For four days, I think."

I open up my menu, too, "well, that's fun. You staying at home?"

"Probably. Morgan will stay with me or something. My brother said he might come home that weekend, but it's not for sure."

"How are him and his girlfriend?"

"Ugh so cute," she puts her menu down for a second, "I hate that I've only met her a couple of times when I've gone up there, but they seem happy. He tells me they're happy. And they really do make a cute couple. She seems really nice, too."

I loved her brother. We were great friends.

And he was away at school studying business at UCI. It's not far, but far enough where you can't see him every weekend, which is probably hard for her.

They're close.

"We should head up there one of these weekends," I suggest.

"You want to?" She smiles.

"Yeah, haven't seen Jake in forever and it's not far. We can make a little weekend out of it."

She closes her menu and slides it to the edge of the table, "you know what he told me a couple days ago? I forgot to tell you. But he had a dream that you and I were dating. It was a while ago, but he never told me because he didn't know if I'd find it extremely awkward or not and he felt kind of uncomfortable telling me about it. I thought it was funny. And well... kind of crazy."

I laugh, also closing my menu, deciding on a simple Alaskan roll. "I've had that dream before. Twice, actually."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, obviously, I felt weird about it."

"And it came true. It's like making a wish," she smiles at me.

God, she's so beautiful.

I tell myself this at least five times a day, but it's true. She is. And I can't believe I'm dating her.

The other day I had this moment where I just stood back for a second and couldn't believe what was happening. I went over to have dinner and when she opened the door, she kissed me and then we casually sat on the floor of her living room eating spaghetti. Everything about it felt right and how it would feel to be in a relationship with someone... how easy it felt. And casual. And how it didn't seem like work at all. We were just there, enjoying each other's company and it felt so good. It felt like the real deal. And I could not believe I was dating her. Kissing her. Holding her hand.

It hasn't even been this weird adjustment.

Maybe a bit.

But only in regards to Emily because they're still not exactly back to being friends.

My mom and dad, though, her parents... they're fine with it.

In fact, we all went to dinner a couple nights ago and it wasn't awkward acknowledging that we were a thing. It wasn't weird in any way.

It's kind of crazy how it's not.

"You know the waitress was checking you out."

"What?"

Gabriella laughs, grabbing her iced tea the waitress just put down. "She was totally just staring at you."

I laugh, shaking my head, "well, I was busy staring at you."

"Stop," she says with a smile.

"I was."

Honestly, I could stare at her all day long.

Gabriella takes a sip of her iced tea and then pushes it away, "I'm not sure if this is true. You haven't told me anything about it, not that you had to, but last night, my mom asked if I was ever the least bit interested in going to schools up north like you are. Did you apply to any?"

"Um, yeah, as back ups... I mean, there's a 90% chance I'm not getting into Brown."

"You don't need to do that."

"Do what?"

She shrugs, "act like you were going behind my back because you weren't. We're... I don't know. I just..."

I interrupt, "it's a weird situation, I don't know how to feel."

"It's nice to imagine how things would be, but the reality of it is, we don't know. I think we just have to take it one day at a time."

"Yeah, you're right."

Any two people who are just starting to date wouldn't base their college on where the other person is going. I mean, it's been like three weeks. But it's so different for us. We've been friends for years. We know each other. Like at the core. It's heightened. And I'm not saying I'll choose a school next to her if we both don't get into Brown, but I don't think it's totally weird for thinking about her in the process.

A few days ago, we had to submit our college applications and she was in the back of my mind. I think about what would happen between us.

But she's right. We have to take it one day at a time.

Today, I'll enjoy sushi with her.

"Yeah?" I respond to the knocking on my door.

Emily pops her head in, "busy?"

I shake my head, throwing my phone, "not really. Just finishing up some homework."

"You hungry?"

"Um, I'm grabbing food in a little bit."

"Oh okay," she says, coming in a little more, "um, with Gabriella?"

I nod. I still feel a little awkward talking about it. It's been more than a month since everything's happened, but it's not an ideal situation.

Em gives me a small smile.

And then turns away to walk out of my room.

"Wait, Em," I call out to her. She immediately stops and turns to face me. "Um, are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

My sister and I have always been close. Not the kind of close where we'd do everything together, but close enough where we'd talk about things, what was bothering us, we'd confide in each other. And lately, it hasn't been that way, obviously. I forgive and forget, but she's been distancing herself from me as well so we haven't really talked this past month. Here and there, but it's not like it was before. And I do miss her.

I close my book and push myself off my bed. "You can talk to me, Em."

"It hasn't really felt that way."

"I'm sorry," I apologize because I do honestly feel bad about kind of icing her out. "Everything has just sort of been weird and..."

"It's my fault," she shakes her head, "I'm to blame."

Maybe.

I mean, sure, but if she didn't do what she did, I'm not sure I'd be with Gabriella right now.

And I'm so fucking happy.

"Look, shit happens. You're not a malicious person. I know that, Gabriella knows that and I think with her, she just needs time. As for me and you, we're good. You're my sister and I love you and you handled things shitty, but people make mistakes and then we move on from it. Shit happens."

"Yeah and I fucking regret it so much," she says, "I'm so sorry."

These past few days, even though we're not talking like we used to, I could sense something was wrong with her.

It just looks like something's wrong.

"Are you okay?"

"No," she shakes her head, "I'm so fucking miserable."

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

She sighs, coming towards me, taking a seat at the end of my bed, "everything. I lost my best friend. The guy I thought I really liked, I don't think I do. School is fucking stressful. Everything is falling apart and it's all my fucking fault and I don't even know why I let it all happen. It shouldn't have happened."

I feel bad for her because she does seem remorseful. And she's not looking for pity. That's something about my sister... she never wants to be pittied.

"I don't feel sorry for myself," she continues, "I just hate everything I've done."

"People make mistakes," I remind her.

She laughs, "I betrayed the one person who was always there for me, big or small. Always."

True.

They had their differences and they're not the most alike, but they were best friends and they were constantly there for each other.

"What did you mean about Brady? Things aren't working out?"

"It's... I don't know."

I can tell she doesn't really want to talk about that part because she's probably embarrassed about it. She betrayed her best friend for nothing. For a guy she thought was this great guy and she was head over heels for him. I think she feels a little silly about it, but she doesn't have to. I'm here for her.

And I really want her to know that. "Em, you can tell me anything, you know that."

"He's just not ready for a committed relationship."

"Oh," I say.

"He fucked some girl in LA a few weekends ago and it actually made me laugh. Of course he did. Why would I be the exception?"

Oh God. I fucking hate this guy.

Not only did he hurt Gabriella, but not he hurt my sister. It's not okay.

"What you did was fucked up and shit, but the fact that he cheated on Gabriella and now you, it has nothing to do with you guys and I hope you know that. He's the asshole. He's the one with a problem. And you can do so much better than him, honestly."

"Why don't you hate me?" She asks me, "you should."

"What?" I laugh.

She shrugs, "I've been so fucked up these past couple of months. I really hurt Gabriella and I'm glad you were there for her."

I agree with her, "yeah, you hurt her."

"How is she? I mean, she's probably fine. She has you and..."

"I'm not going to be this middle man and I know you want to give her space, but you and I both know Gabriella is the most forgiving person. Don't rush it."

"I don't deserve a second chance, honestly," Em shrugs and she's not saying it in a way where she wants you to feel bad for her. She's saying it in a way where she hinks it's the truth. "Regardless of what you think, I really do want her to be happy."

I smile at her. I know she does.

What she did was shitty. But I know the love my sister has for Gabriella.

It's deep.

And sooner or later, I know they'll be friends again.

But you can't rush it.