Chapter 8-Papa

I stood behind my parents as they signed a bunch of forms. Like a book from a library, I must be returned in three hours. Papa suggested that we all go out for lunch, instead of eating in the hospital cafeteria. Luckily, mom pulled her Dr. Mizuno card and I was allowed to leave the building under supervision. Mom didn't mention what she just witnessed in the room. She walked in as I was "transforming". She decided to keep quiet about it, maybe till later. I dreaded the upcoming conversation.

Buzzzz. The main gate burst open and I stepped out of my prison. Past two locked doors, a large garden and the main gate, I was free in my own imaginary world. Mom's car was already parked in front of the entrance. I resisted the urge to run. Instead, I followed my dad and got into the car.

We rode in silence. Papa tried to fill the gap with small talks but he soon gave up. Mom was deep in thought, so was I. How alluring was this dream world? I stole glances at dad from time to time. He looked so much older and sorrowful. I wondered if papa from the real world looked like this too. Silently, I reached over and put my hand on top of his, feeling his warmth. His hands were just as rough, shaped from years of painting, sculpting, and carving. Papa smiled at me and put his other hand on top of mine. Father and daughter are connected for the first time in years. If this was real, would this be my happy ending? The crazy girl got cured and she got her family back? I smiled sadly. My mind was so cruel to dream up this fantasy world.

"We are here." Mom announced as she pulled into the parking lot. We followed her into a small café, miles away from our neighborhood. I guess mom didn't want to run into anybody. Having dinner with your ex-husband and your daughter from the loony bin might just destroy her reputation.

We were the only customers in the restaurant. The waitress waved at us and sent us to a table. She barely got up from her seat and only glanced up momentarily from her video game. After waiting a while, the waitress finally came and gave us our menus. She glanced at me suspiciously and then turned and walked away. Did I have a sign or something? I looked down at my outfit, it was just my normal street clothes. Then I saw my scars on my exposed wrist. Right...crazy.

"Ami, what do you want to eat? Do you still want a chocolate milkshake with extra ice cream on top?" Papa tried to connect with me, except I haven't had a milkshake in years. I grew up.

"I will have a cucumber sandwich and a cup of tea." I set my menu down. Papa looked disappointed. So I added the milkshake to my order.

Once the food arrived, mom decided to break her silence. "Ami, what were you doing before I showed up? What triggered the delusion again?"

I almost choked on my sandwich. The waitress's ears perked up and she moved slightly closer to our table. "Mom, I don't wantt to talk about it here. I promise I will tell you everything after we get back. Can I just enjoy a normal dinner?"

Mom's disappointed eyes stared at me for a while longer, and then decided to drop the topic. "Okay, well, you are probably wondering why your papa is here. Why don't you tell her yourself?" She turned to dad.

Dad put down his food and wiped his mouth. He cleared his throat. Whatever he had in mind was probably painful for him to say out loud.

"Ami, I felt like this was my fault. I was young and I was selfish. I was the one that broke the family and betrayed the both of you. I caused you pain and grief. You were such a happy girl. Somewhere along the way, you changed. Probably because I left…..Anyway, I want a second chance. I want to be your father again. If you will have me…." Dad's eyes were glistening with tears.

He was right. That divorce changed everything. My mom became a full blown workaholic. I became independent. Yet, it wasn't his fault that my destiny was called and I became Sailor Mercury. It was my fate to protect the world. There would be sacrifices in battles, and this was how I ended up here in this world. How could I blame my imaginary papa?

"Papa, you are always my father. I have kept your paintings all these years. We all have our dreams and duties. Mom, I don't blame you for not being there either. You are a doctor and it is your duty to save people. Papa, you are an artist and the beauty you shared through your paintings will touch many, many people. As for me, I guess I have my own destiny too."

Dad started sobbing. Mom secretly wiped a tear away. I looked down and swallowed my emotions. I finally get to say what I want to say to Papa, after all these years. Thanks to this nightmare, I got the chance.

Three hours passed quickly. It was time for me to go back. Papa promised that he would visit again tomorrow and mom said she would come by after her work. I nodded, grateful for having some time with my parents. When they first divorced, I had wished that they would get back together and I would have a normal family again. It was weird seeing my wish come true, even if it was just a figment of my imagination.

Dr. Tanaka was waiting for me at the entrance. She escorted me back to my room. Before leaving, she turned and asked me how my day trip with my family was. I gave her one of my fake smiles and said it was great.

"Take it one day at a time. Any change, even positive change, can put a stress on your body and hinder your recovery. Anyway, I am proud of you, though. You have been handling everything so well, exceptionally well. Get some rest, Ami. Don't stay up too late to read." She left my room after.

I turned off the light but the hallway light illuminated the room anyway. My bedroom door was still taken away as punishment for stashing my pills. I had slowly gotten used to the constant noise and light in the background and was able to fall asleep. But not tonight…..

Memories of my early childhood flooded my mind. The happy ones. The sad ones. They swirled around in my brain, vivid and loud. I tried to distract myself by reciting math formulas, but it didn't work. Finally, given up on sleep all together, I got up and walked around the room.

Papa. He was here. Mom seemed to be handling the situation well too. I remembered how hurt she was when papa first left. For about a week, she could barely get out of bed. Even abandoning her duty as a doctor, she stayed huddled in her room. I brought her instant meals. I kept her hydrated and nourished. I put her first before my own pain. Later, when she finally emerged from her cocoon, mom felt guilty for abandoning me as well. But she soon found refuge in her work and she was home less and less. It was okay, though. I understood.

Part of me was tempted. Part of me wanted to stay. In this world, I didn't have to be a heroine and I didn't have to save everyone. Mako continued to woo me and visit me almost every other day. Dad was here, wanting to be a part of my life again. And mom, her protective exterior was starting to crumble and perhaps she would return to her old self…

Ultimately, I knew in my heart that I had to get back. I looked up at the crescent moon in the dark sky and I made a promise to the princess and the scouts. Just give me one more day of happiness. One more day where everything would be perfect. Then..I would run head first back to battle.