Chapter 10-Saying Goodbye

Today, mom and dad would be joining my therapy session with Dr. Tanaka. At the doctor's request, she wanted to discuss my options of discharge with my parents. It would be my opportunity to do what I had to do.

The morning came and went like any other morning. I dragged my feet, anxious about what would happen this afternoon, if I had the courage to go through with it.

1:30 pm. I made my way to Dr. Tanaka's office. If my plan works, this would be my last "therapy session". Perhaps I should say goodbye to my kind and imaginary psychiatrist. Mom and dad were already there, seated in the far corner of the room. Dr. Tanaka took her usual spot behind her desk. The same old clock ticked loudly behind the doctor.

"Ami, how are you today? You are probably wondering why I want your parents to join us today. I feel that it may be time to approach the topic of discharge. How do you feel about that?" The doctor took off her glasses and looked at me with her intensive eyes.

"Whatever you decide…I am fine with it." I said nonchalantly. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw mom looking worried. Perhaps she didn't believe I would ever be sane…I turned to look at dad and he looked solemn but hopeful.

"Ami, you need to take a more active approach in your recovery, especially if you are to be discharged to the care of your parents. You would still need to come back for two sessions per week and you would need to keep up with your medication schedule. Now, have you experience any hallucinations lately? Any flashbacks to the other world?"

Sadly, no. My sleep had been dreamless lately. I had no idea how long I've been under in the other world. Here it was about six months. I wondered if they made it through the fight…..I wondered if they survived….

I shook my head. Dr. Tanaka was expecting more of a response from me. She looked at me encouragingly, urging me to talk more about my feelings. There was nothing to say. I was too tired to make things up and to keep up the charade anymore. Whether they release me or not, if my plan didn't work, I would be trapped in my own mind anyway.

The doctor continued to talk about discharge with my parents. I sat and stared at my parents. I thought about mom from the real world….if she had realized I was missing? Time moved differently between the two worlds, so perhaps she didn't notice yet. I looked at dad and my heart ached. I wondered if he was alright in the other world, if he was happy….

Dad felt my stare and he turned and gave me a smile. He mouthed the word "home" to me, grinning happily as he continued to listen to the doctor's orders. I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like if this was real. Mom and dad living under the same roof again. Mom and dad taking care of me, just like when I was younger. Mom and dad protecting me, so that I don't ever have to get hurt again…I smiled to myself. It was a nice dream indeed.

When the session ended, I asked mom and dad to follow me to my bedroom. I said I had something important to tell them. They had no idea the bomb I was about to drop on them. Along the way, dad chatted happily about how he rented an apartment next to our building, so he could stay close. Mom was in a happy mood too. She started planning out loud how she had to adjust her work schedule and cut down on her caseload, so that she could be home more.

"Honey, so what is it that you want to talk to us about?" Mom asked. I gestured them to sit down on the bed while I stood facing them. Their faces looked slightly worried but mostly hopeful. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Mama, Papa, I love you guys. I love you guys so much that I've included you in my imaginary world. You see, the real world was too painful. I was born with one duty, to protect the princess and the world. The battles were hard and painful. Mom, did you know I died once? Yet, I must keep going. As much as I wanted to stay here, I have to be stronger and I have to believe. I wish this world is true, sometimes. I can have the both of you back in my life….but eventually I have to wake up from this dream. I am Sailor Mercury."

Mom and dad's face went from shock to disbelief to defeat. Mom got up and pulled me into her embrace. "Baby….my poor baby. It's okay, we will talk to Dr. Tanaka to let you stay here a bit longer. It is clear that you are still struggling. We are not mad, it's okay."

I kissed mom on her forehead. "Mom, you have always raised me as an independent and strong woman. You told me to believe in myself. You raised me well and I do believe in myself. I love you. Goodbye, mama."

I went over to dad and hugged him tightly. I inhaled deeply his scent, trying to make a lasting memory. "Thank you, Papa for coming back. I love you. Goodbye, papa."

I closed my eyes and called forth the power of the mercury crystal. This had to work….Slowly, I felt a familiar surge of strength, flowing through my body…

I opened my eyes and I was back in the purple coffin, but I was still trapped. I was there long enough to witness the scouts getting their power stripped away by…a giant black hole. Horrified, I tried to move my body….I tried screaming…..I tried to call out my attacks….

A bright light flashed and whoosh I was pulled back into my nightmare. I opened my eyes and I was back in the institution. My parents were sobbing and I was being led away by two orderlies.

"No. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Desperation and frustration ripped through my body. My legs turned to noodles and I collapsed to the ground. It didn't work. Saying goodbye didn't work. Would I be stuck here forever? I have failed….Ami Mizuno, you are absolutely defeated!

A.N. Final chapter will be posted tomorrow.