Part Four: Spring Interlude

Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly,
All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arrive

"This was a test, wasn't it?"

He didn't need to answer.

"Did I pass?

"Indeed."

"Why, thank you for your assistance, Amanda! You are most welcome, Ambassador," tilting her head first one way, then another, she carried on the one-sided conversation.

Sarek raised his brows in question and she raised hers back in kind. She smiled at him in reply. She had not expected any more of a response, but that didn't mean that it wouldn't have been nice to have one

Settling back into the deep, plush interior of the limo, she spread out the folds of her skirt pretending to concentrate on the process, all the while her mind was trying to figure where did he think it would go from here? The dinner with the Dastori Ambassador had gone well. Amanda had used all the tactics that she had learnt from the countless dinners she had been part of growing up at Louisa's. She had asked all the right questions, and managed to get the answers Sarek needed. Answers they both knew that he would not have been able to get on his own. In fact, she felt very pleased with herself at this moment, and let out a little sigh of contentment.

"Amanda?"

"You hear every little noise I make don't you?" She tilted her head and looked over at him from the corner of her eye.

"My hearing…"

"Those lovely ears of yours…"

She sighed, and looked out the window, past the damp city streets as they sped through. Her life was a blur now, but a blur that she couldn't bear to see the end to. What was going to become of them? Sooner or later, Sarek would be recalled or reassigned to a new post. Then what was going to happen? Would they spend the rest of their lives letting their friendship fade away into nothing as the years passed? Despite her best intentions otherwise, she knew that she felt certainly more than a friendship on her part, but what was it really on his?

"You are deep in thought tonight, Amanda."

"Mmm. Sometimes… sometimes it would be nice to know I'm appreciated," She avoided looking at him, concentrating on the passing city scene.

"It is not-"

"Don't say it. Don't even start with the logical nonsense," She had tried to understand things from his point of view, logic versus emotion, Vulcan versus Human, but there were times when it became too tiresome.

He placed his hand on hers, a sign of reassurance. She knew that this was a big move on his part, but of what? She was tired of guessing.

"What is going to happen when you have to leave? Will you just disappear from my life all over again?" Amanda turned to look at him.

"I have assured you that this is not the case."

"But what then?"

"It is, how you say, a bridge that we will cross when it comes to that."

"That's not a satisfactory answer and you know it."

"Amanda…"

"You are frustrated with me, admit it."

"I am not," A hard edge crept into his response. That unadmittable stubbornness that she was learning was all too present.

"You are. I can feel it. You may not show it, and I may not see anything more than an almost invisible tic or a barely perceptible change in the pitch of your voice, but to me it's almost palatable."

"Frustration is an emotion and I-"

"Am a Vulcan and don't I know it."

She wasn't sure what brought this on here and now, but it had simmered within her too long now. Maybe it was her own sense of frustration or maybe it was anxiety in regards to a future which seemed to be full of menacing clouds. The truce that they had declared needed a resolution and they were no nearer one now than they had been two months ago. Amanda felt no different about Sarek, and yet remained unclear on just how he felt about her, if he would even admit to feeling about something. But logic or no, she knew there was something there to be had, just not what.

"I'm an itch to you, aren't I? An itch you are not allowed to scratch. An itch you wish would just go away."

It took a long moment before he answered, "It is no easy thing you ask of me, Amanda Grayson."

"Nothing is easy for either of us. I have to play this game as well."

Silence settled in, thick and heavy. For a few minutes, they both seemed to wrap their individual reactions in it's dark embrace. Finally Sarek spoke, his voice softer that usual.

"When I had to leave, your absence was felt, " he paused," …acutely. There was a part of me that had not lived until I met you."

She was silent now, she had never expected this admission. She had been told time and again that it was an impossibility. Amanda took a deep breathe and let out the inevitable.

"Sarek, I know you are going to say it's illogical, but I do love you. I can't help that. I can't help the way that I feel about you."

"You are very young, Amanda." he let out an almost inaudible sigh. His face was in shadow, except for the dim lights of the limo interior reflected in his eyes, "Things are as they are. We can only accept them and the implications of how we…relate… towards one another or we can choose to walk away,

"I'm not sure of what you are saying - or what you are not saying at this point."

"This is not a subject that I am comfortable with. This is most difficult."

"I wouldn't have thought anything was difficult for you."

"You make things most difficult, Amanda."

"I'm sorry I'm making this hard on you. It's just that, it's just that this is hard on me as well, you know. It would have been so much easier for me to have fallen in love with someone who would reciprocate. Instead, I fall in love with a Vulcan, stupid girl," she paused and then continued, looking out the window to the passing city streets, "But it doesn't matter, does it? But it doesn't matter cause I love you anyway. I can't change who and what I am and that I have feelings. I can't and won't change that."

"I would not ask this of you, I would just ask a little more control, a little more time. But always, your emotions are part of you and I would not change who or what you are. "

"I try my best. You don't need to ask anything more."

"Would you, could you do this? I have my doubts. You are so bright and animated, Amanda. Part of me would have you never change. Could you continue knowing that the public we must always be discreet? That the private part of me is one only you will have access to? "

What did any of that mean? She was tired, physically and mentally, "I just want to go home and crawl into bed right now. I can't think about anything else."

They had reached her apartment building and the limo had stopped. Sarek moved to buzz the driver to escort her to the door, but she waved his hand aside, "I am perfectly capable of walking five steps to my door."

He seemed reluctant to let her go, "I will wait until you have entered safely."

"Good night, Ambassador. "

She didn't wait for his response, exiting the limo without looking back. If she had, she might have noticed the vehicle that had pulled up behind it. A handful of seconds later she was safely in her building and Sarek's limo pulled away.

oooo0000oooo

Amanda threaded her way through campus, her steps on automatic, her mind going over the events of the previous evening. There was no real reason for her to have been so short with Sarek the night before and it lay heavy on her thoughts. She could not expect him to be or act anything less than a Vulcan anymore than she would expect to be or act anything less than human. When had her patience and understanding gone out the window in favor of needing to be the one with the right answers? He deserved an apolgy from her. The question was would he accept it without the usual lecture on what was and was not logical?

Entering the classroom, she surveyed the largely empty seats. It was a typical Monday crowd. Although all of her classes could be taken virtually, Amanda still preferred the ability to take them live. She was among a few fellow hold-outs, so while classes and lecture halls were sparsely populated, there were always at the very least a handful of students attending in person. And with the majority of the students being virtual, the introduction of any new face in class was of note.

Each present member had taken time to notice the new comer in the far corner of the room, a small, thin middle-aged man, he appeared out of place, but who were any of them to judge what brought any particular person to class? They all nodded in recognition to him in passing and then set to work settling into class.

After the morning classes had been completed, one making a quick trip to the campus bookstore, Amanda noticed the stranger again, toward the back of the store. It had been close to two centuries since it had seen an actual book, but the name still held, remaining the place to pick up any needed essentials for class or student living. Chances were since he usually attended classes virtually, he needed some additional materials on campus. She thought nothing of it at the time.

If it had only been those two occasions, Amanda would have let it lie, but as she passed by the large reflective glass windows of the shopping district, she noticed him again out of the corner of her eye. She stopped and then he stopped. Slowly she took a few further steps and rounded the corner toward the Metro stop. There he was again, just on the edge of her vision, but still there, rounding the corner as well.

Now she sped up her pace, walking just fast enough not to show any panic. She flew down the metro steps and passed her fare card through the turnstile. She was lucky, a train was pulling into the station and she hopped on, regardless of the destination. She could switch trains at the next location. As they pulled out of the stop, she could see him at the far end of the platform, presumably looking in vain for her.

Maybe she should have been more scared than she was. Right now curiosity was winning out. If she saw him again, she would be prepared to confront him. Hopefully, that would not be necessary.

oooo0000oooo

As Amanda slipped into her customary seat in the lecture hall, there was no sign of her stalker from the day before. What there was, was a considerably higher proportion of attendees in class. And they all seemed to be looking at her as she made her way into the room.

"Do I have something on my face?" As she proceeded to her regular seat, she turned toward an adjacent classmate, one of the regular attendees who she had frequently exchanged conversation and notes with.

"I assume you haven't seen the latest edition of Tabloid Tumblr?"

The response seemed a little snarky to her. What was that all about?
"I don't usually bring myself down to that level," She responded in kind.

"Neither do I, but the whole room has been passing around the vid, and has been abuzz waiting for your grand entrance. I would suggest that you download a copy."

She sunk as deeply as she could into the seat, surreptitiously glancing about the room. If her eyes met another's, they were quickly deflected. Maybe they didn't want to admit watching Tabloid Tumblr either? Whatever it was, she had best find out before her next class that afternoon.

The professor cleared her voice and Amanda attempted on concentrate on the class and not what she might discover afterwards.

Once completed, she made it a point to try and slip out of the room as quickly as possible once class was over, on a straight path to the studio apartment that she called home for the last two semesters. Once there, she brought up the vid screen, surfing for the Tabloid Tumblr. Punching a purchase, she quickly scanned the contents until she found the guilty article.

On a split screen were two vids of her: one, entering her apartment a few nights prior, dodging raindrops in the formal gown she had worn to the Dastori dinner; the second, one of her in the campus bookstore the other day browsing through some vids, this one obviously courtesy of her mystery stalker. How long had she been followed waiting for the proper moments?

"Is she a real life Cinderella or just a ordinary college student? The girl at the center of this mystery is the granddaughter of former Secretary of State, Louisa Saint…"

As the voice over continued, it proceeded to connect her to a certain ambassador, with aspersions to a romantic relationship. This was bad. Sarek had stressed the need to be discreet and now the cat was out of the bag, in the worse possible way.

As if on queue, the vid console rang in the other room. She glanced at the screen- unknown number. It had only just begun.

oooo0000oooo

All of her classes had regrettably been moved to virtual status and Amanda had packed up the small apartment in the city, bidding her short-lived freedom goodbye. There were only a few weeks left before finals anyway. She could manage the class time left on her own.

For the time being, she was more or less a prisoner at Louisa's mountain home. The privacy laws made sure that life remained peaceful there. Any trespass on private property by any media types would be subject to a prison term and a hefty fine. The move was regrettable, but preferable to being on guard every time she walked down the street, leaving her imagining she was either being stared at or stalked by a tabloid videographer. Sooner or later Sarek would be going home and it would all blow over. She just had to bide her time until then.

And it was peaceful here, with nothing but the occasional chirp of birds or a squirrel's chatter to break the silence. She reached to the nearby vid screen looking to punch in the day's lectures, when it lit up indicating an incoming call.

The number was encrypted. She fought with whether to pick it up- it could be a reporter, or it could be Sarek. Should she take a chance? She could always hang up.

"I had hoped to find you here."

Amanda let out a breath. She had listened to her hunch and was glad she had.

"It was just too much on campus right now, I closed up the apartment and came up here where they can't follow."

"That is commendable. I am not sure when I will be able to speak to you again. Negotiations with the Dastori have been completed. There is no longer any logical reason for me to remain here on Earth and I expect to be recalled at any time. More so now," Sarek paused for a moment before he allowed himself to continue, "I am going to try and arrange a few days leave from the Embassy. If I can do this, you would be able to join me on short notice? There is much I need to discuss with you."

She smiled to herself - even his questions could sound more like commands at times. Could she ever get used to that? Would she want to? Or more importantly at this point, would she ever need to test the question?

"Yes, that will be fine. When-"

She could hear a third party now on the other side, out of her sightline. They were barely audible, and she could only just make out that it was in Vulcan. Sarek responded curtly to the party in question, then returned to the vid screen.

Amanda opened her mouth to respond but never got the chance to do more than take a breath.

"I will need to end the call at this time. I will contact you again when I am able."

The call ended abruptly, without so much as a goodbye. For a brief moment, she felt as if she were part of an interplanetary espionage novel, racing against time, against capture, against discovery! When did it come down to this?

ooo0000oooo

A week had passed and a second one had commenced since Sarek's call, without further word. Amanda had her course work to keep her busy, but time was creeping by far too slowly. And the longer it went the more fearful she became. Maybe that call had been it, the end of everything, nothing more to be had. No more drama, no lovers parting in haste…

Through the open window, she could hear a vehicle pulling up. Her heart jumped until she heard her Grandmother calling out in greeting. It was an old friend, the Aporillian Ambassador, Naadiir.

She strained to hear the conversation, but she was too far to make anything out. When in close quarters, Naadiir's translator sounded like any "normal" voice, if a little more sibilant. From a distance, it warped into more of a hiss, closer to the Naadiir's actual vocal projections. She dropped the book she had been reading and silently made her way down the steps, standing just beyond the open doorway.

Naadiir had always been one of her favorites. Maybe it was because at the time she was introduced to the Ambassdor, at the ripe age of ten, they both saw nearly eye to eye. Amanda had continued to grow; the Aporillian had long ago stopped. It could have been that or the attraction of the glittering iridescent scales that could change color at a moment's notice. Few girls of that age could ever resist the lure of sparkle and glitter. Amanda halted right beyond the open door, evesdropping on what she could of the conversation.

"Ah, Louisa, I think that it is useless to contest. If she agrees to go, it will be a 'deal that has been done', will it not?"

"I hate to think of her throwing her life away chasing a fantasy, Naadiir. Or coming back in a year or two broken."

"I have spoken to him at length and his intentions, I believe, are true. This decision only she can make. If you would prevent her, she will always hold it against you."

"I suppose that you are right," Louisa admitted to her friend,"She has to learn to stand on her own and live by her decisions, good or bad. It's just that she is so young. Too young to come to this."

Amanda took this as a cue to make an entrance. Her grandmother turned to face her, dwarfing the small reptilian figure beside her.

"Naadiir here has been in contact with Sarek. She has agreed to assist in transporting you to a shuttle and then onto god only knows where if this is what you want," Louisa suddenly looked tired and older, the years weighing upon her all at once.

"Not so bad, my friend. Amanda will be in good hands and and not so far. Not yet."

"That's not very reassuring, Naadiir," Louisa's mouth set into a grim line as she watched Naadiir take her granddaughter by the arm.

"We will have a little chat, yes? While you pack," As the diminutive Ambassador followed her up the stairs, the sound of her small claws clicked against the wooden steps.

"You've spoken to him? Is he alright? Is he still on Earth?" Amanda's cross-examination waited until she was outside of Louisa's hearing.

"For now, yes, yes. Pack your bags for somewhere warm. My driver will take you to a shuttle to meet Sarek."

Amanda nodded and pulled out a large suitcase.

"This is only for a day or two, Amanda. No need of all that. There is no plan to away whisk you, only to meet and discuss."

She pulled out a smaller bag and Naadiir nodded approval as she rooted through her closet, pulling out a few light-weight dresses.

"I would not say this by Louisa, but I would caution, both of you will have a price you will pay if you take this step, Child, and it could be argued which might be the greater. You will lose the home you have always known, the people that love and care for you will be far," The scales around the Aporillian's golden eyes softened to an iridescent green, an indication that Amanda knew signified affection, "A good many years I spent assigned to Vulcan. As well as these people may be known by an outworlder, I know. They do not take kindly to those who interfere, nor do they take kindly to their own who break the rules."

Balancing on her tail, she hopped onto the edge of Amanda's bed, "Realize Child, Sarek's caste is such that even were he to marry outside of it, to one of another caste, there would be repercussions. To marry you? This will be a heavy burden on him on him in ways you will not understand."

Marriage? Amanda's thoughts whirled in confusion, Who had ever said anything about marriage?

"Naadiir, I don't want him to be hurt, but I don't think I could live without him either. I don't know what to do," she settled back onto the bed herself, grasping the Ambassador's hands and squeezing them tightly, looking for some reassurance, "I want to do what is right, but I'm not sure of what exactly that is."

"The heart knows what it knows, does it not? And for you to elicit from him such a response that he would be willing to risk all, give him the chance. And realize what he means even if he does not speak the three words you humans are all too fond of. There are other ways to love than words. "

oooo0000oooo

The skiff left her in a cove at the foot of a long rocky staircase, overlooking the turquoise waters below. Picking up her small bag, she began to ascend the stairs, thinking of the crazy turns that her life had taken in the last weeks. This was one she would never have seen, a hidden getaway on a tropical island. First the argument with Sarek, then the paparazzi incident, the cryptic messages, and now here she was in some remote who knows where. She couldn't help but wonder if it had all been some foolish mistake. For all she knew, it could be interplanetary kidnappers looking to hold her for ransom, that had tricked Naadiir and there would be no Sarek here to be found.

Time had always taught her to follow her instincts, though, and her instincts had told her that despite her fears, she was making the right moves. The only moves her heart would allow.

As she reached the top of the staircase she realized that here were no doors on the house- it was open to the sea on one side and what appeared to be a pool on the other. The marble floors radiated cooling, and were a welcome respite after the hot morning sun. She had been abandoned the jacket she had started her travels in, happy that Naadiir had advised her to wear the light cotton dress. It was year-round summer here, none of the brisk Spring breezes of home to be found. The sound of her shoes echoed on the hard surface, breaking the spell that the house seemed to hold. Amanda slipped them off, and balance was restored.

It was quiet now, broken only by the sound of waves on the shore below and a faint chatter of birds coming from the area of the pool. Walking past the living area to her right, she came to a bedroom, obviously unoccupied. A single flower rested on the pillow, a traditional welcome with island destinations Making her way back across the main living area, a second bedroom was on the left. While not presently occupied, it at least showed some evidence that some one had been there. A open doorway on the far side led to a large lanai which then led into a open garden path, lush with hibiscus, palm trees, and ferns. The sound of trickling water drew her further down down a side walkway where she could view a small clearing ending in a fountain.

She held back for a moment, allowing her eyes to adjust. Then she saw him in the distance, his back to her.

He was silent, not moving at all and she instinctively knew that it was not the time to interrupt him. As quietly as possible she sat down on the ground at the entrance to the inner garden to wait. The sounds of the enviroment were like a sedative, reminding her that she had not been able to sleep for more than 24 hours. If she only closed her eyes for a few moments…

"Amanda?"

Startled, she looked up. She was not sure how long she had been out. She went to stand but her legs seemed to be still asleep beneath her. He offered a hand to help her rise.

Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she grasped his hand. Pulling herself up, she took him in. She was so used to the heavy russet and black robes he wore, the light colored gauze tunic and trousers he now wore made her take a step back to make sure she still wasn't dreaming.

"Sarek," His name was all she needed to say.

"We have reached that bridge it would seem."

She thought she saw the lines around his mouth soften, almost as if to smile. It must be the light- or she was still not fully awake, she was not sure.

"Just a little sooner than we expected?" She smiled back in return.

"Indeed. I had hoped to be better prepared for this when the time came, but unfortunately, your press has deemed otherwise."

"I am sorry about that."

"There is nothing you could have done. It would have happened at some point," He stepped away from her, looking out into the garden betond, gathering his thougths.

After a long moment, he moved closer to her again, his voice becoming soft, "I did not know if you would come."

"All you need to do is to ask me and I'll be right here beside you. You can trust that."

Amanda took his hand and held it to her heart. It might have been an intrusion, but she didn't care at this point. She had answered best as she could but she was confused as to what all of this meant. It was as if everyone and everything knew what was going on but her. She was playing this all by ear and intuition now.

Sarek released his hand and caressed the curve of her cheek, and she captured it with hers. Looking into his eyes, she saw the promise of her future. She knew that Naadiir had been correct. There were other ways to know love than mere words, and she would always know that which was left unsaid was that which was most meaningful.

"I would have you be my wife, Amanda Grayson."

She had always told herself that this was impossible. That all she would ever have is this time that they had spent on Earth, nothing else would come of it. And here he was offering her the universe in a few simple words. She stood trembling for a few brief minutes, before she gave the only answer she could.

"Yes."

oooo0000oooo

In ancient times, they said there was such a thing as Acha'eh'M'aantorne'ek, a "Meeting of Souls". Present times, when almost all marriages were arranged, this was a near impossibility. Whatever fate allowed him to avoid an arranged marriage, had brought him to this, the most rarest of unions. For the rest of his life, Sarek found he could believe in miracles, no matter how illogical that might seem, for one such miracle had brought him to Amanda.

Fin

The immediate next part of the tale is in a earlier story, The Only Truth. From there, this journey takes you to the final section of Catching Fireflies.

Hope you enjoyed and thank those who care to leave a review, a follow, or a favorite. Every little bit helps, and I am looking forward to finally(!) getting back to work on Afterglow, which of course, would be the next story in the saga…

Mary

For the guest reviewer who has left me those wonderful detailed reviews, I wish I could respond. I don't know if FF will let you send a private message as a guest reviewer, but I am on Face Book as well.