THE TOUR:

Natsu was looking for Igneel, he was currently in a forest-"How did I get here again?" up ahead he saw an entrance into some sort of-"Is that an underground Tree house?"

Being the curious wizard that he was, he went and knocked on the door.

"HEY!" Knock_knock_"IS ANY ONE HOOOOME!" knock_knock_knock "If you don't open it, then I'll burn the place down!"

That was when the door opened and a white haired teen with glasses came out-"What did you say you were gonna do?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Okaaay..."-kabuto shuffled his feet,-"then what do you want?"

"Have you seen a dragon around here somewhere, about yay big"-Natsu pointed to a medium sized mountain.

"Oh, well I haven't seen one of those yet."-"This guy sounds like he's High...sigh, I wish I could get high."-Kabuto thought.

Natsu was disappointed with his reply, "Okay then, I guess I'll leave you alone now"-he started walking away-"I'll just cheer myself up by burning down some trees."

Kabuto being the kind soul that he was, took pity on the dragon slayer and decided to invite him inside-"Hey! hold on, how about I treat you to some Mountain Dew."

It was as if Natsu learned how to teleport, because he was ten meters away one moment and then the next moment he was standing in front of Kabuto.

"Natsu is a good boy!"-Natsu said in a cheerful tone.

"Okay... then step right in please"-Kabuto opened the door and they went in.

-a few moments later-

After getting his bottle of Mountain dew, Natsu was getting a tour of the hideout.

"First up on our tour is the torture room"-Kabuto motioned Natsu to look into the window separating them from the torture room.

"Hey Kabuto, why is it called the torture room?"

"That's because this is the most relaxing room in this place, listen to their screams."

God please kill meee!

Aaaagghh!

Heeeelp!

MY DIIIICK! MY FUCKING DIIICK! AGHHHHH!

"Soothing isn't it?"-Kabuto was listening to the screams as if they were smooth jazz.

"I don't know man..."-Natsu was looking at a guy getting his nipples ripped off-"That guy looks like he's in pain"

Kabuto waved him off-"That's just a super special nipple piercing, they'll put his nipple back on after their done."

"Oh! Then maybe I should get one too."

The man's other nipple then gets cut off.

AAAGHHH! MY FUCKING NIPPLE! IT FUCKING HURTS! IT FUUCKING HURTSSSS! AGHHHH!

"Maybe piercings aren't your thing Natsu."-Kabuto took Natsu to the next place in his tour.

-a few moments later-

"Why is that guy's stomach on the table Kabuto?"-Natsu pointed to a man tied on the steel table struggling to get out of his chains, his stomach was cut open and his guts were sticking out.

"He is going through an operation that might cure him of a disease that only some ninja seem to get infected with."

"What's this disease called?"

"It's called the 'I fucked up and got caught spying on Orochimaru' disease."

"That's a pretty long name for a disease."

"Yes, naming diseases isn't all it's cracked up to be."-Kabuto didn't want to bore his guest with a boring operation-"how about we go to our next spot."

-A few moments later-

"And here we have lord Orochimaru's happy fun time room."

Natsu looked into the reinforced window,-"Why are there a several dozen of half naked kids in that room?"

"Lord Orochimaru loves to take care of kids."

"Why are they all boys?"

"Lord Orochimaru say that girls might start to enjoy his lessons, so he decided to only keep boys."

Natsu nodded his head,"I don't get it but, smart people always nod their heads."

Natsu watched a 13 year old boy try to stand up and walk, "Hey Kabuto, why is that kid walking funny?"

"That's because he is Lord Orochimaru's most favorite pupil, his name is Sasuke Uchiha."

"Then why is he walking with a limp?"

"Lord Orochimaru is always ROUGH with HIS training, they went at it for six hours straight last night."

"That kid sure works hard."

"Yes he does Natsu... yes he does..."

-some time later-

Kabuto and Natsu were standing at the entrance of the hideout.

"Well, it was nice meeting you Kabuto, and thanks for the Dew, the tour was... interesting?... well any way see ya!" Natsu walked away into the sunset as he waved his new friend goodbye.

Kabuto also waved back,"Bye! come back soon! Next time I'll show you my room Okay!"

Natsu kept waving his hand not hearing the last sentence-"He's weird, but I can't wait to tell Lucy how much Mountain dew I drank..."

THE END