Switched
It was just supposed to be a mission to stop Nirvana, now...
Sasuke was standing in front of the Hokage giving his report for the mission, with him were Naruto, Sakura, Natsu, Gray, Erza and Lucy.
"So, did anything interesting happen during the mission?"-The busty Hokage asked the group.
Naruto and Sakura shuffled their feet, finally Sakura answered-"Well... you see"-she didn't know how to explain what just happened.
So Sasuke explained for her,"WE PREVAILED! FOR THE LEEEEEEEAAAFFFF!"-he pumped his fist up and was restrained by multiple clones, who jumped on him, but he kept shouting-"WE TOOK THOSE MATHAFUGERS TO SCHOOL!"-by now Naruto was getting tired and tried to shut his mouth using duck tape he found on the floor.
Sasuke kept screaming-"WE WERE ALL LIKE, HEY! OI! BETTER RUN MOTHERFUCKERS! OR WE'RE GONNA KICK YOU IN THE NUTS!"-Naruto was finally able to put enough duck tape to shut him up-'Sorry Sasuke, I don't enjoy treating you this way but...Hahaha! Who the fuck am I kidding, I'm loving every second of this!'
Sasuke wasn't the only one affected by the evil machine-"Can I get my pay now, I have to go look for Igneel...and kill him."-said Natsu in a low voice.
Everyone looked to the brooding Dragon Slayer, Natsu looked at the floor and kept talking to himself-"None of you can understand, I just have to kill him, and if anyone gets in my way-"-he was looking at a sweating Lucy now-"-I'll Bitch slap them into a coma."
Erza just raised an eyebrow, then looked to the Hokage-"Well as you can see all of our members are just fine, we would like to get our pay now."
"Um Erza-"-Gray tried to remind the red head about their Dragon Slayer,"-I think there's something wrong wi-"
"All our members are fine Gray."
"Yeah. But I think that Natsu's bee-"
"I thought I told you that all our members are Fine Gray."
Gray gave up,"What ever..."
Natsu 'hmp'ed' at him-"Idiot."
Now that was the last straw for Gray, Erza can call him an idiot, Lucy can call him a stripper and Canna can even call him a homosexual- but he was not gonna stand here and be called an Idiot by this guy, "Now let me tell you something Nats-"
SLAP
Gray held his left cheek-"Did you just...Did you just BITCHSLAP ME!?"
SLAP
"That's right stripper, just hold your cheeks like that."
Seeing the wizards act this way had convinced the Hokage, "It seems they are just fine."
That was when the Uchiha got loose-"AND THEN WE MADE THEM OUR BITCHES!"
This time the Uchiha was restrained by Naruto, it was done by kicking his balls.
Sakura looked at the groaning Uchiha on the floor, then Naruto-"What the HELL Naruto!?"
Naruto tried to explain himself as best he could-"He was a Homo anyway."-He was rewarded with a kick to his balls, courtesy of Sakura.
Gray stared at the brutality-'That's got to hur-"
Crack
"OH FUCK!-" Gray was on the floor and he pointed his shaking finger at Natsu-"YOU KICKED ME IN NUTS!"
Natsu just stared at him-"The weak should not be allowed to reproduce, I did you a favor...you should thank me and be grateful that I helped you with your problem."
"YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU KICKED ME IN THE NUTS AFTER SLAPPING MY FACE!"
"I remember slapping you TWICE!"
"You just wait till I tell Juvia about this... she'll feed you your own dick!"
"Maybe I should feed you your dick, you worthless manwhore!"
Sasuke then suddenly jumped on the office table-"WAAAAAAAAAITTTT!"
Everyone stopped to look at him.
Sasuke stood still for a moment then spoke-"Loooook..."-he opened his hands to show them what he had-"I found ... a cookie...cool right?"
Everyone just stared at him with a 'W.T.F' expression. Sasuke then jumped in front of Naruto, "Don't worry Naruto, I'll let you borrow the cookie."
"ENOUGH!"-shouted Natsu.
Everyone now stared at the Dragon Slayer.
Natsu glared at everyone to see if anyone dared to go against what he said.-"Now that everyone has respectfully closed their wide asses, I want to hire every tracking Ninja this back water village has."
Tsunade asked the obvious question.
"Why?"
Natsu was tempted to kill the woman, here he was, politely asking for service, and then this bitch questions why he needed her ninja. He was soooo tempted.
"Why else, to find an overgrown lizard obviously."
"I don't think you have the kind of money needed to afford that many ninja."
Natsu grinned, "Who said I was gonna pay them."
After that Natsu proceeded with making the entire village into his Bitch.
First was the demolition of coffee shops, then construction of Mountain Dew shops, then he went on war with the other hidden villages, concurring village after village, finally the day came when he sent all of the Ninja in the world to fight the mighty dragons.
They won.
And he had a harem of the most beautiful women surrounding him.
But, time ends all things and at his old age he realized that he was ultimately going to die.
He vowed to die like a boss.
He flew to the sun...
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...and ATE it.
The resulting power he achieved was too great to control, but he managed to direct all of his power to a single roar, a roar which destroyed an entire galaxy, Andromeda.
Hopefully he had destroyed the closest thing to iced tea in that galaxy.
He had truly died like a boss.
END