Whoops, did I say that a bi-polar troll and a Prince that's going to be held hostage by a lizard? I meant a crab that's walking his dog.
So here it is. Also, I re-vise and fixed some chapter grammars that I missed while busy writing. I think I got all of them…I think.
Chapter 7: A dirty, sloppy Dog make-out
So yeah…I'm just walking with my dog. Nothing in particular, I'm not angry, not angry at all!
Oh who am I fucking kidding. I'M REALLY FUCKING ANGRY HERE!
WHY AM I ANGRY?! For starters! I thought we were supposed to be in another dimension and doing some Godly shit n' whatnot in another universe. BUT INSTEAD, we were send into this danky, rumpy ass forest and walking with this obnoxious Jade human! Frolicking like her old stupidly, naïve-self which unfathomable pisses me off! But fortunately for her, she cut that shit when she grows older and smartened up a bit once for a while. BUT AGAIN, she really has a bad tendency of being stupid all over again!
By 'human,' that was an understatement on my part. Of how these so called humans describe her. She is literal now a Gog fucking furry as she still infuse with her unholy guardian! Also I'm still shit-out terrified of her Grimbark-self!
Okay, I'm getting tired of this grubbing, fucking bullshit I'm in. Instead of getting something really great from our prize fucking finale, we're now in this fucking snowy ass place that looks like Jade's stupid ass planet with her stupid ass frogs, and more importantly, hanging out with Harley who is still in her Dog-tier form!
AND I'M REALLY, REALLY PISSED THAT DIDN'T TURN OUT THAT WAY!
Also, Jade is being Jade, she's wearing her typical black witch outfit, having her dog ears sprouting out from the top of her head, and her permanently stupid golly ass smile plastered across her face.
Even we beat the game. We still somehow have our Video Game shit with us! Like God-tiers, consorts, and some random chess people we encounter in the forest!
"Look Karkat! This place looks so literal cool just like my planet of Frost and Frogs! It is also a cool place for my consorts to be set free as the iguana people really like their location to be very cold as they reminded them of their home planet."
"SURE it is." Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep yapping on about your boring ass Consorts. I think I give zero shits about them as I have more concerning matters in my mind than your selfish, cutesy shit! I don't care of the pointless, shit stain snow around me or the Gog disgusting looking tall pine trees around me either!
As we keep walking with our rumpy asses around here and doing nothing particular at all than staring at this stupid snow place we're in. Jade suddenly stop on her tracks for some reason?
"Karkat…" Hmmm, what is it Jade? Why the fuck are you stopping now?
Hearing her voice suddenly turned sad for zero shit reasons. Jade then turned her head to face me, in order for me to look at her stupid sad little puppy dog like eyes to take an emotional effect on me. She keeps whimpering to me like she's some SAD sack of shit.
Still not working…
*Whimper…
Okay, maybe it is…
*Sobbing loudly…
OKAY! What the fuck do you want?!
"Alright Jade, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU CRYING FOR!?" Yelling at her unreasonable emotional state she's in. She simply explains it to me of her human 'emotions.'
"Do we ever find our friends again Karakt? I'm very worried of them and the forest we're in doesn't support Wi-Fi at all." REALLY JADE?! REALLY?! YOU ARE FUCKING WORRIED OVER YOUR SO CALLED 'FRIENDS' THAT WE HAVE?!
I swear. I don't even understand this girl at all!
"Okay listen to me Jade. LISTEN RIGHT FUCKING CLOSELY! Listen right fucking closely so hard that my budge is whispering in anguish for you to shut up and listen! I don't know where the hell they are! Period! And we don't know where the fuck we are at! So crying out of the blue isn't going to solve any of our problems if you keep standing there like an idiot and keep on whimpering! So let's continue on walking so we can ACTUALLY find our friends than simply standing there, crying over this bullshit." Snapping some senses to Harley with reality checks and shoving some COLD, HARD facts down to her throat so she wouldn't easily breakdown. Especially like her stupid, old dream-self of the previous discussion we had when she prototyped her useless-self. She knows if she keeps this up. She would eventual become the epitome of her uselessness and her flaws as she remembered her Dream-sprite…which both of us agreed that we shouldn't dive into that discussion. As it's very awkward for both of us.
Having our little chat on berating and self-perseverance, she finally smartens up and stops crying, knowing it's rather pointless on doing it in the first place.
"Yeah, you're right Karakt. I'm just really worried about them and it just my canine-self is taking it too seriously of the situation we're in. *WOOF!* *WOOF!* *BARK!* Whoops…" AUGHH! Consolidating someone's emotions is one tedious ass process to deal with. I am not going through that bullshit again!
As we continue to walk through the tall pine-trees and following the snowy trail in silent…I think it is time to confess-
*scuffle!*
What was that?!
Turning to my right of where I heard the noise is radiating out…for a second, I thought I saw a red hooded figure with a ribbon on her chest staring at me…but I guess I'm seeing things here. Yup, I think I'm definitely FUCKING seeing things here!
As we kept on walking, doing nothing particular in dead silent…okay, what was I thinking again? Oh yeah. I think it's time to confess to Harley.
"Harley…I want to tell you something." Diving into this touchy subject I had in mind. I spoke to Harley of something I hid from her for a while and I think it's time to confess my feelings to her. As it seems the appropriate time to tell her of what I'm thinking.
Seeing her ears peak and looking back at me in question. I told her of what I'm going to tell her.
"Seeing we both know each other, and giving you my formal apologizes of what I did do you in the past. I think it's the right time to tell you of what I'm feeling for you." Okay…here it is.
"To extend your forgiveness onto me…I-I respect you. So, here it is that Kanaya and Rose help me out with." Oh Gog, this is getting too mushy for my taste.
Pulling out a functional Sylladex card instead of my worthless ass Fetch Modus that's useless as hell for me as its keeps locking me out! I un-captchalogue the card as a black and grey stripe scarf appeared in my hands. The scarf itself is riddled with real tiny, green colored gem emeralds to make the scarf look sparkly and shit. As Rose and Kanaya have a knack for fashion taste than I am.
Hope she fucking loves it because it took me weeks to convince those two assholes to make a Gog damn scarf for me of a simple request!
As Jade stared down onto the sparkling scarf I had in my hands. Her face brightens up with the obnoxious word 'joy' on it. She smiled so hard at me, I swear, I thought she's going to pounce on me-OH FUCK NO!
"WOOF! WOOF! :D"
As I fucking jinx it up. Jade then FUCKING POUNCES ON ME AS WE'RE ON THE GROUND AND STARTS TO LICK MY FACE-EW! FUCKING EW! JADE! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME YOU NOOK-LICKER!
She is now covering me with her Gog forsaken saliva and I now know what to do next.
"FAUGHJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
[Snowdin]
"-EEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP MMEEEEEEEEEEE!"
…
Hm…I think we've kno+w where Karkat is at now. That would probably stir Kankri's social justice mood to bore his ass to asunder.
By what about me and Kankri are up to you say? To further explain, we're in this rather odd, snowy village. Filled with strange mo+nsters and what not. The males don't act like sexists which is a go+o+d thing in my book. But still, I feel something bad is going to happen soon…but not this time or this line we're in.
For Kankri though…he's still preaching, rambling on about his so+cial 'justice' bullshit when he heard rumors that their monarch culled six children…or was it seven? But who cares, I really need to shut this kid up before he starts to self-monologue.
By the way, I think the girl name Roxy who was with us and is an utmost drunker. Went to a local bar called Grillby's, hearing they have the hardest liquor to go around this place and I'm really worried of her stupor mental state if she keeps drinking her ass off to her grave.
But it's her choice, not mine to decide.
Stepping on the chilly, white snow, following Kanrki so he wouldn't over-exaggerate himself of his social issue topics and not letting him flip the fuck out of more social 'issues' he deemed injustice. Everything seems calm until Kankri saw-…
"LET MAKE SNOWDIN GREAT AGAIN! VOTE FOR THE RIGHTFUL MAYOR TO LOWER TAXES! TO PROMOTE FREEDOM! LESS STRICT ON GUN CONTROL TO PROTECT OURSELVES FROM THE MIDNIGHT CREW!" Seeing en masse of monsters who are holding political banners and picket-signs saying 'vote for this black chess person thing' that I self-described it for you as they're cheering for the self-proclaimed 'Mayor' here. He's wearing a hat, dirty robes, and a monocle over his right eye.
He's standing on a wooden stage next to a brown podium, raising his two arms to make two peace signs like the Human President Richard Nixon who made a really bad scandal-oh Gog, I think Kankri's fascination on human politics took a tow on me as I'm now speaking like him when I keep hearing his pointless lecture!
Behind the 'mayor,' there is a young, white chess lady…who is a dog with wings, wearing a golden ring with pearls on her finger. On her shoulder, I saw a sling that's carrying a bag that holds tons of mails inside. Beside her, a black chess male who has black n' white caution tapes wrapped around his body and holding a baton in his hand as he's acting like some sort of security guard for this mayor person.
They aren't the only ones here, I saw crowds of white n' black chess people surrounding the podium, fanatically shouting at the Mayor in full total support of him since he's a chess person just like them.
What I'm seeing now is rather strange. Why would there be politically campaigning over this small town? Does this town even have guns in the first place?
For the Midnight Crew, I heard about them. But never see them in action before. Only words describe them by the Rose Human as she has some prominent knowledge about the crew. A gang of mobsters that's pretty much mostly harmless as they do petty things and do nothing all too serious or fetal on their criminal activities since they love to run their personal casinos…unless, if you try to do something malicious acts against them. They'll have enough justification to be ruthless against you. Otherwise, end you in a fast and quick death if that act you committed is that really severe.
"AH! That Right-wing h99ligan! He's spreading c9nservative propaganda than valuing equality of this wicked world we're living in!" Oh Gog, don't tell me he's going to decide to be a Gog forsaken politician and making his o+wn campaign! I have enough of his bullshit for once.
"Go+g dang it Kanny. We don't need more political nonsense in this village! Besides, why do we need-" Again, Kankri is having his wild social tantrum moments that he cut me off.
"C9me 9n P9rrim! Let's make our signs and 6ring about social equality in this world and political correctness." Kankri, Kankri, Kankri…please for once, stop with your political 'correctness' bullcrap-and don't you dare of becoming a boring politician!
Inevitable…he doesn't care and end up being another political candidate of this unnecessary political game that Snowdin is now experiencing.
I wonder…who was I thinking again? Was it Roxy-?
"HEeey Porrim! What's-*hick!* what'z up girl! And waz is UP in this town?" That stand corrected, never mind of what I just mentally said.
Standing beside me is our dear old friend Roxy, who is currently holding her alcoholic beverage called whiskey in her left hand. She speaks in her slurry, alcoholic language as she's under the influence of her intoxicating beverages. Where she passed to her drinking limit as she stumble a bout in this small town, tipsy and blitzed in her behavior, unmannered to be a true gentle lady.
Turning to Roxy, she is wearing her old God-tier suit which is the Rogue of Void. The suit itself is dyed in dark indigo and blue as they represent her aspect called Void. Other words, she's mindless and clueless, unaware of her surroundings. Which again, she's drunk.
Then again, Roxy begin to nonsensical ramble on about some hot guy that she met in a bar. As she keeps nagging on of how hot he is. Hearing it, I o+fficially lo+st my attentio+n span o+n her.
Alright then…now back to deal with Kankri before he starts getting into another tantrum.
[Back at the forest…]
OH GOD! THERE'S MORE FUCKING DOGS LICKING ME?! FUCK! FUCKITY! FUCK-FUCK!
When Harley is endlessly licking me! More group of dogs appeared in many FUCKING varieties. As the small, annoying ones are slobbering all over my face. The bigger dogs that are humanoid begin to take turns on licking me, making it grosser than it ever was!
I can't do shit as Harley is pinning me onto the ground and her grip is unholy as hell!
There's one thing I can do and I'm really good at it!
"SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME!"
Yelling out with all my might! Having hope that someone would hear me of this hell I'm in! My wish then came fucking true when I heard soft, faint footsteps approaching me.
Struggling to move my head when all these fucking dogs keep leaking on my fucking face! I saw the red-hooded figure approaching me with her face obscure under her hood. Her crimson-red cloak flow through the wind as she looks-wait a second! I think I saw you before!
Yeah! That's right! I think I saw you stalking me for a brief second, but why the hell are you approaching so suddenly that you look frantic-
"WOOF! WOOF! BARK!"
OH HELL NO! SHE IS ANOTHER FUCKING DOG?!
She then crouch in all four and leaped in the air. As she landed on me, everything went black…covered in disgusting saliva.
[Jade]
PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!
When I saw the mysterious girl approaching us in giddy excitement, I smelled her essence as she is a dog just like us. We need more dog loving here! I think she can share turns with Mrs. Dog and Mr. Dog! You know? Those two dogs that join me in our lick feast on Karkat, wearing those black robes and carrying the big axes in their paws?
Turning back to the Red girl where I heard footsteps pounding on the ground. She ran towards to our licking feast. As I saw the Red Riding Hood figure made a huge leap in the air and licked Karkat's face with the biggest slobber across his head which I think he's now passed out by it.
Boy…I think he'll be mad by this. He loves to play!
As the fun n' games are already over. I wonder…what just happen since my canine-self took over me in absolute joy and-oh no!
Staring down below my feet, I saw Karkat got slobbered all over his entire body with saliva that smells like canine spit! Who would do this to an innocent little crabby person!
Turning to my suspected victims, I turn to Dogamy and Dogaressa as the suspected dog culprits. As we begin to communicate through our dog language.
"BARK! BARK! BARK! (Have you two been licking Karkat!?)" My eyes glaring at the two suspect dogs that may licked Karkat. As my body is now literally glowing like a Christmas tree in suspicion.
As they saw my slight peeved state, the two whimpered as they plead innocents.
"*Whimper* (We didn't do anything Jade! Honest! We just suddenly came here when we heard a sudden commotion! Then later, we're now standing here with the licked victim.)" Hmm? They don't know as well? Sniffing them, they're telling the truth.
"WOOF! WOOF! (Doggo! Are you the one who licked him?!)" Interrogating the rowdy, ruff, scoundrel, looking dog who might be a bad dog who just loves to lick random strangers for the fun of it without their permission. He just shrugs and told the truth as well.
"WOOF! (Don't know as well sweet treats. I saw a big commotion and movement over here. So I just looked into the matter of what just happening. Then everything went black and now I'm here with this slobbered looking rock that's slightly bit twitchy on the ground.)" So he doesn't know as well…this is getting a tad bit fishy and strange of what's happening here?
"Bar-? (Greater dog, did you licked-?) Before I can say anything, Greater Dog then interrupted me as he doesn't know as well.
"BARK! BARK! (I CAME HERE TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING? THEN I'M RIGHT HERE NOW JADE!)" Okay then, now Red-…when a second. Where is she?
Turning back to the Red Riding Hooding figure that smelled like a dog, I turn back to her to see she wasn't there anymore?
Hah? Strange…for a second, I thought she was here? But I guess she left before this event happen?
Felt something soft in my hands and very cuddly to snug on it. I look down to see Karkat's gift after I blanked out in excitement of his gift and it is SO COOL!
I saw the shimmery, small emeralds on the cute black and white strip scarf that fits around my neck. The texture felt so silky and soft! Gog, how did Karkat get this in the first place? No matter what, I'm so thankful of him!
Yet I think I need to help Karkat of his…well, drooling problem.
I can't decide which to pick? Clowns or the Prince of Heart and the Bi-polar troll?
Also the odd character you read that's name Red is base on the Unity Undertale made from Taxiderby.