When you're gay for Itachi
When Itachi Uchiha climbed out of bed that morning, he was a bit offended to find his brother Sasuke lying on the floor, completely nude and tied up in a big red ribbon. It was kinda gross.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BROTHER!" Sasuke shouted at the top of his lungs, "WANNA OPEN UP YOUR 'PRESENT'?! HMM?! HMM?! HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...?! IT'S FULL OF SOMETHING DELICIOUS!"
"...It's my birthday today?" Itachi asked.
Sasuke nodded. "Yup! I'm your 'present', just in case you didn't get that little joke of mine earlier..."
"Damn," Itachi muttered as he let loose a heavy sigh, "Where does the time go...?"
"Well, time's still passin', but it might stop for a few seconds if you'd just come over here, and unwrap me! I'm all greased up just for you today, my love!" Sasuke exclaimed, but Itachi simply walked past him to get to his closet. As Itachi dug around for some weekend attire, .Sasuke continued to speak.
"So, uh...are you gonna untie me? I mean...this shit is cutting into my skin, and I'm stuck having to rub my calves together to keep it from tearing, and I think I'm getting a rash...I'm serious...I mean, I snuck into your room in the middle of the night, stripped down, tied myself up (which was quite difficult, by the way), and doused myself in butter all so you could make sweet gay love to me this morning! Even if today is your birthday, this is more for me than it is for you! Are you listening to me, Itachi Uchiha?! Are you?! ...Hey, Itachi, c'mon...you know you want my sweet, sticky body...you pervert...c'mon...I'm circumcised...does that turn you on? It turns me on...it sure does...c'mon...make love to me...rape me or something, for god's sake...I don't care...just shove your old, flabby little wiener up my a-hole, bitch! I WANT IT! I FUCKIN' SHOT A DUCK TO GET THIS FAR, AND I AIN'T GONNA FAIL NOW! I WANT TO BE SODOMIZED TO THE EXTREME!"
Itachi tossed on his favorite 'Uchiha' T-Shirt, as well as some slightly torn blue jeans. He yawned loudly and picked his nose as he headed for the door. The booger he pulled out was promptly flicked against Sasuke's forehead.
"Hmm...maybe I'll have some birthday pancakes or something..." Itachi muttered under his breath before exiting the room, leaving Sasuke tied up and naked on the floor.
Sasuke scowled. "Fuckin' bastard...hopefully Gray will walk by...maybe I can seduce him..."
Just as he had hoped, Gray fullbuster walked by, and he glanced inside the room to see Sasuke just lying there, grinning perversely.
"...Hey, Gray-kun...wanna have an early birthday present...?" Sasuke asked with a smirk.
Gray quickly ran away without a word, and Sasuke cursed under his breath.
END