Deleted scene online

Naruto was reading through 'The Tale of a Gutsy Ninja' for the fifth time in a row when Natsu came bursting into the room, carrying a large assortment of various laser-based weaponry. There was a Cactuar keychain, too.

"Uh...what're you doing, Natsu?" Naruto asked rather languidly.

"I'M HERE TO BLOW SHIT UP, AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT BY THE TIME I'M DONE, ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE UNHAPPY!" Natsu said back. He had a mad look in his eyes.

"Aren't they usually?"

Natsu's facial expression suddenly became very serious. "Yes...yes, they do."

"...Do?"

"Are."

"You meant to say 'are', not 'do'."

"That's why I said 'are' right after I said 'do'...it was a mistake in dialogue..."

"Sure...whatever you say..."

At that moment, a large shark came flying through the window, and it chomped down on Naruto's head.

As he rolled around on the floor, flailing his arms like a doll, Naruto screamed, "AHHH! GOOD GODDEN' GRAVY! A SHARK! A SHARK HAS BITTEN ONTO MY HEAD! Huh...I think it's a tiger shark...AND THERE ARE BABY SHARKS IN HERE, TOO! THEY'RE SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE! AUGH!"

"DAMMIT! THE WEATHERMAN FUCKIN' LIED TO ME! HE MENTIONED NOTHING OF RANDOM SHARK ATTACKS THIS MORNING!" Natsu roared in fury. He quickly unhooked a shotgun from his belt, and fired several shots into the shark's face. However, its grip remained firm upon Naruto's cranium.

"YOU GOTTA SHOOT IT'S WEAK SPOT! IT'S WEAK SPOT!" Naruto cried. A large, red X was evident on the dorsal fin of the shark, so Natsu figured that that must have been the 'weak spot'. However, there was no way a machinegun, a shotgun, a pistol, an RPG, or even a claymore sword could hope to pierce such soft cartilage. So...Natsu had to get a totally different weapon, one with rank-A piercing power!

"SAKURA...I NEED YOUR HAIR SPIKES!" Natsu bellowed as he immediately confronted the pink-haired girl in the hallway. For some reason, a series of cross-shaped symbols had formed vertically across Sukura's wide forehead, and her skin was now a darkish hue. None of that mattered to Natsu though, of course.

"...Why do you need my hair spikes? They cost $4.15 for each goddamn spike, you motherfucker!" berated Sakura, completely unaware of her own Noah powers emerging. Her butt cheeks seemed to be swelling outwards as well.

"I'll sing you 'Chocolate Rain' in your sleep if you do this for me..."

"OMG! LIEK...O RLY?! I *HEART* DAT SONG!"

"YAY RLY!"

Sakura reached up, and tore off three of her hair spikes, handing them to Natsu. "Bring them back when you're done, then..." she told him. Natsu nodded, and quickly dashed back to Naruto's room. The blond-haired boy was no longer moving, although the shark was still happily chewing on his head. A puddle of blood had formed underneath them.

"DIE, YOU ECONOMICALLY-CHALLENGED BEAST! DIE!" Natsu plunged the tips of the hair spikes into the shark's dorsal fin, and in that moment, the shark collapsed onto its side, totally dead as a doornail. Sitting up, Naruto wiped the blood off of his face as he let out a sigh of relief. Natsu carelessly threw the hair spikes over his shoulder, landing them right in the recycling bin.

"Thank god you saved me right before I was about to die, Natsu!" Naruto stated, "We better have Hinata hurry up with that fence made out of grated cheese to ensure such a disaster like this does not take place again!"

"Good idea! ...But first..."

"Hmm?"

"TAKE OUT YOUR FANCY SILVERWARE, WE'RE HAVING FRIED SHARK FOR DINNER BITCHES! "

Naruto- "Really?... ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING ME IF I WANT TO EAT A FUKING SHARK!?"

Natsu nodded his head.

Naruto responded to this by shoving a fork into Natsu's crotch with a big smile on his face.

END