I'm sitting on the living room couch, curled up under a blanket in nothing more than a pair of shorts and a tank top. My mind has been stuck on Olivia for the past two days, replaying the events over and over again. She had yet to say anything to me since things at the precinct seemed to calm down and there were no criminals in need of a talking to by an ADA.
I still don't know how she reduced me to a quivering mess on top of the interrogation room table. A table that I had often leaned against when talking to suspects. I wonder momentarily if Olivia had been in the room since. Did it remind her of me? Has she even thought of me since that day? I curse myself silently at my pathetic thoughts. Why do I even care about her?
It's not until there's a knock on my door that I realize I'm halfway through a bottle of wine and it's almost eight pm. Was I really just sitting there for two hours thinking of her? With another sip of wine in hopes to clear my mind—ironic, I know—I get up and head over to the door. With a peek through the eyehole I see exactly who I have been thinking about for hours and I can't help but wonder if the wine is getting to me.
Her fist thuds against the door again, shaking the frame and causing me to pull back quickly. I unlock the door and hold my breath as I open it up. "Olivia…" I wonder if my voice sounds like a desperate plea, one that I should've voiced that day.
Instead of speaking, she steps into my apartment and I follow her motions, stopping short as she shoves a CD into my hands. "What—"
"I'm on leave without pay for a week because of that," She says almost harshly. I flinch as I look down at the disc, a date scribbled across it in black sharpie. It takes me a moment to realize the importance of the date. "Apparently security actually felt the need to watch the tapes for once. They informed Cragen of my actions."
"I don't understand." I look down at the CD once more, tempted to shove it into my DVD player to see what it was. She looks at me without any distinct expression on her face and it makes a shiver shoot down my spine. The date finally sinks in. Security…Cragen…
"Oh my god." My eyes close as I feel the blush overcome me. I want nothing more than to run back over to the couch and bury myself underneath my blanket, never to come out again. How many people saw her fucking me on an interrogation room table? Had Cragen watched it? The other detectives? Was there another copy out there somewhere that was going to pop up on some porn site within a few days? The thought makes my stomach churn.
"I begged Cragen not to put in a call to the DA's office. He agreed but I recommend you take a few days off for your own sake. As far as I know he saw about thirty seconds of it before he was out of his office yelling at me to get the hell in there. He gave it to me and told me to get the hell out of his precinct."
I stare at her, speechless. What exactly am I supposed to say? That I'm sorry? I almost want to but I won't apologize for what happened. I had nothing to do with it. Well, I submitted to her and allowed it to happen so technically I was an accomplice but she started it… God I think like a lawyer.
"You want to watch it?" My gaze shoots up to hers and I pin her with a cold glare. Does she think this is funny? Did she tell the boys about it? Show them how she dominated me? Hell, she wasn't the one half-naked in the precinct with a hand working between her legs until she orgasmed on a table.
"Are you mental?" I ask her, my tone coming out harsh. I glance down at the CD before walking over to my coffee table and tossing it there. "Thanks to you I have to do damage control now," I spit out as I grab onto my phone and scroll until I see my boss's phone number.
"Look, as far as I know it's the only copy and the two security guys were the only ones to watch it completely. I already talked to them and they both really need their jobs so if they know what's best for them they'll stay quiet."
I stare down at the phone number for a moment before looking back up at her. "Did you threaten them?"
She shrugs. "I plead the fifth." As much as I try to avoid it, she gets a slight grin out of me.
"We're not on the stand here, Detective."
"I did what I had to do," She replies as she turns toward the door. "If it's any consolation, I'm sorry."
I bite my lip as I walk over to the door with her and she steps outside. "Sorry you did it?"
She pauses for a moment, still facing away from me. "Sorry that I got caught," She replies before walking down my hallway, never looking back. Once I no longer see her, I shut and lock the door. I make my way back to the couch and I can't help but pick up the CD, twirling it between my fingers.
Was our sexcapade really on here? I glance back at the door and around my apartment even though I know it's empty. I study the CD for a moment before curiosity gets the best of me and I get up off the couch and walk over to my DVD player.
It's not even a minute later when I see a grainy image of myself walk into the interrogation room. Despite the fact that I know exactly what's going to happen next, I keep watching, entranced. The way she touches me is sexual, neither tender nor rushed. It looks nothing like a cheap porno and that seems to relieve me.
Yes, I've watched porn, on multiple occasions but it never did much for me. Maybe that's why I can say that this is so different… I find myself squirming uncomfortably in my seat as I watch her push me down across the table top and shove my skirt up. I know exactly what's going to happen next and yet it still draws me in and I can't pull my eyes away from the screen.
Watching her dominate me makes my mouth go dry and it's almost just as much of a turn-on watching it as it was experiencing it firsthand. It's as if I can almost feel her hand slipping between my legs and pushing inside my body. My legs clench tighter together and I swallow roughly, unable to stop as I cup myself over my shorts. God the things she does to me…
The video is almost over by the time that I realize my TV was on mute. With a shaking hand, I press the mute button and turn up the volume. It's mostly static that plays over my speakers but I can faintly hear myself moaning and her steady pants. Neither of us say anything, just like I remember, but her pants are new to me, almost like music to my ears. In the heat of the moment all I could hear was my blood pounding in my ears, everything else had been drowned out.
My cheeks burn red as I hear a soft cry come from my lips as my body shakes against Olivia's in the video. I can't watch anymore. I quickly grab onto the remote and turn off the TV, tossing the remote back onto the couch as if it had burned me. I get up and pace in front of the couch for a few moments, my thoughts a blur before the painful throbbing from between my legs reminds me of what had just happened.
Nothing a cold shower can't handle, I think to myself as I head down the hall, stripping my clothes off as I go. Why the hell did I watch that?