Stephanie Meyers is the owner of all things Twilight. I just like to take the characters, change their personalities and manipulate them into heart wrenching situations that may or may not have actually happened in my life.

Just so we are clear I intend to make no serious bank off these words.

All mistakes are mine. Just like that time I accidently knocked over the Calphon display at Macy's.

I am loving the reviews and alerts. Thank you so much for supporting me. I love the feedback. You all are the best! Here are 2000 words from Edward. He is not going to talk again for a while so I hope you like it.

Chapter 9

Part 2

EPOV

The Present

The parcel of land was a perfect site for my new home. My home. I should be calling it our home, but even after all these years I still find it hard to blend what is mine and what is hers into ours. I suppose that may have to do with the reality of our relationship. I love Ashley, or Ash as I normally call her, but being in love with her is something that is not going to happen. My heart still belongs to someone else. I know this and she does too.

The trees sway as cold winds blow through their branches and I can't help to compare it to my life so far. The cold, cold wind that came along to freeze the burning passion that I had finally found with my angel, Bella. It was hard to keep those memories of her buried down, it was even harder when I found out that she lived in the small logging town that I or we had decided to make our new home.

Ash wanted to move from the city. She wanted to get from under our parent's watching eyes. I just wanted to go anywhere and nowhere at the same time. When she mentioned this little town, Forks, not far from Seattle it sounded perfect. Perfect place to raise our daughter, Libby, and far enough away to keep our parents out of our daily lives, I hope.

Walking back to the foundation of the house trying to rid my thoughts of what should have been and attempt to focus on what is. The truth was that I fucked it up so long ago. Although I never believed that my precious daughter was a mistake I do believe that my life would be so different today if Ash never got pregnant. I was forced to take responsibility for my actions not that I would of not done the right thing by her, but I do know that the path we were forced to take would not have been the path I chosen on my own. I would of gone back to school and to Bella. I would of told her everything. I had faith in what we had together and even though it would have been difficult I am certain we could have made it work, but I was a coward. Afraid to stand up to my parents, her parents, and be the adult I needed to be.

Instead of calling Bella I placed my grandmother's diamond on Ash's finger hours before driving back to campus. I made promised to both our parents to finish out the semester, graduate, and come back to marry Ash before our child was born.

I did it too, but along the way I lost the one person I wanted more than anything and how I did it was disgusting and depraved. She didn't deserve what I did, but I couldn't think of any other way except to ignore her, deny her, and then go back to my dorm and cry my eyes out. It was all my fault. I fucked up and Bella paid the price.

Ignoring her existence did not keep the gossip from me. I heard about the parties where she tried to drink the frat boys into a coma. The night when she danced drunk on the table in a local bar. It was a few days after the incident in the quad when Kathryn, a friend of Bella's, came up to me as I was walking to my dorm.

"Did it make you feel good treating Bella like that in front of your friends?" her words cut right to the chase and the mention of her name stopped me in my tracks.

Turning around to see Kathryn standing there, her backpack hanging off her right shoulder. I was tired from not sleeping, images of Bella haunted my mind. She gave me no time to answer her question before she spoke again.

"Do you know that this is the first time I have been able to go to class since that bullshit you pulled the other day? Inconsolable is an understatement here," she told me.

Not sure of what to say or what to do I stood there until the sound of my phone broke the silence. Pulling it from my pocket I saw that it was Ashley calling me. I was suppose to be coming home this weekend.

"Kathryn I get it. I do. You're her buddy, but I can't do this right now. Just do me a favor and take care of her please," I said before turning around and walking away. I had to put as much space between her and myself before I did something stupid. Something that would make me happy and right now I didn't deserve to think about myself since I put myself in this situation. I wanted to run to Bella and not feeling like I could do that was the hardest thing for me to face.

Walking through the property I saw her as I approached the foundation. She was standing facing away from me. Her brown hair was down and was blowing with the wind. I imagined that she was here with me seeing the start of our new home, the one I build with her, like our life. I can remember the night we stayed up late into the night talking about home we wanted. The conversation was strange for two college kids, but we always talked about our future, our hope, our dreams.

"What are you doing here?" the words came out of my mouth before I had a chance to think. I wanted her to tell me she was here for me. She turned toward me obviously startled by my voice. Her face was pale, the dark circles that I had never seen on her before told a story that I didn't want to know. I repeated myself unsure if she heard me the first time.

Pushing past me she hurried in the direction where she had parked her truck.

"Bella. Wait. Don't go," I yelled to her. I didn't want her to leave. I wanted to pull her into my arms and tell her everything. Starting with the first time I saw her up to the night where everything changed.

I wanted to confess my love for her that never stopped and how I fight everyday to be the person I was forced to become.

She stopped and faced me.

"It took me three days to get out of bed. After that it was only two days until I began drinking to numb the pain. Liquor was never enough though, so I smoked some pot until I found that bumping a few lines was so much better. Thirty-two days after you left I was kicked out of school. On day thirty-six I overdosed and was sent to the hospital only to wake up to the news that I was pregnant, so how fucking dare you ask me for anything," she said to me. I knew that what I did broke her, but pregnant. Anger ran through me at the thought of another man touching her so intimately.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she quickly shut me down.

"Don't you say a fucking word to me. You were right. I didn't know you then and certainly don't fucking want to know you now. It was a mistake to come out here. I just wanted to..."

Unable to control myself I moved to her, I needed to hold her and to know what happened. I never expected for her fist to make contact with my eye.

I tried to help her from the ground, concerned that she was hurt when one of the construction workers showed up. Obviously he knew her and immediately began to comfort her. I needed to get away. For years I imagined that she met someone, but to see another man touch her was painful.

I got into my car and sped back to the room I rented at a motel. Once I was in my room I pulled my phone from my pocket and saw that I had some text messages waiting for me from Ash. Wasting no time I decided to call her. Her voice was the medicine I needed to ease the hurt in my chest.

"I have been waiting to hear your voice all day," she cooed into the phone.

"You have?," I responded. My face couldn't help but morph into a smile. I imagined she was sitting on the couch in the condo. Her feet tucked under her body as she talked to me on the phone. Libby was most likely on the computer in her room or texting one of her friends. I bought a phone for her when it was decided that I would be traveling to Forks to supervise the building of the house. I needed to be able to talk to my girl whenever she needed me so I surprised her with a new iPhone.

My beautiful girl, Olivia, or Libby as we called her. She was amazing, a perfect blend of Ash and I. I couldn't be any prouder of my girl, she had me wrapped around her finger and I was fine with that. When she was born my world shifted and all the injustice I felt from the situation faded away.

"Lib and I did some shopping today for the new house," she said as she began to tell me where and what they bought. I just listened to her and how excited the girls were for this move.

"I am glad you both had a good day together. I miss my girls," I told her because I did. I missed the way they were so lazy in the morning and how excited they got when a song they liked came onto the radio. I also missed their hugs and kisses. I longed for feeling needed by them.

"We miss you too. Do you think you will be home by next weekend? Your mother is insisting on throwing us a going away party."

"Tell her I will be back, there are a few more things I need to deal with here and then I should be coming home for about a week, ok?" I told her hoping that she did not question what needed to be done.

We chatted for a few more minutes about the impending move to Forks and said our goodnights.

"I love you Edward," she said. Her voice was firm but reassuring almost like she knew that I was dealing with something big. I knew she loved me and I loved her. Loving each other was never a issue over the years, it was the type of love we shared that constantly nagged at me and left me dreaming about the girl I gave my heart to ten years ago.

"Love you too Ash. Kiss Libs for me?" I asked.

"You know I will. Goodnight." she said before the phone disconnected.

Setting the phone on the table I decided to take a warm shower. Pulling my clothes off my body I dropped them onto the floor on my way to the bathroom.

I turned the shower on so it had a chance to heat up while I studied my face in the mirror. The man who stared back at me was not who I wished to be. The beginnings of a bruise were forming around my right cheek. I flinched when I touched it and then the tears began to fill my eyes. It was not from the obvious pain of being hit, but the pain of knowing I made her so angry that she felt as if she had to hit me.

The bathroom was heating up from the shower and condensation was forming on the mirror. Climbing into the shower I washed the day away and cried. I wasn't crying for the choices I was forced to make so many years ago, I cried because my heart was torn and I had made a promise to my daughter that I would never break.