A/N This is for the special reviewer, you should know who you are. I have loved all the reviews, so very motivating and great feedback. As always I try to respond to every one of them and I urge you to tell me how you feel about the story. I know you all are hating Edward quite a bit, think the Bella is weak and timid, want to see more interaction, and are curious about HEA. I am trying and to show my appreciation here is another update. Remember that I am not stealing any ideas from Ms. Meyers.

Watching Bella as she speaks reminds me of why I am here today. I shift nervously from one foot to the other while my hands are buried deeply into my pockets. My thumb brushes against the paper and I rub against it knowing this is my touchstone, the one thing that will ground me and finally bring the truth back into my life.

The truth. It's funny because this whole time I have felt like such an asshole for what I did to Bella, but she kept my daughter from me. And now, she is gone. Dead. I would never know her, hold her, and never be able to tell her how much I loved her. I know I made my decision, my own mistakes, but the words she wrote to Peyton they changed me. Changed every thought, aspiration, and promise I have ever made.

When I decided to break free from Bella I knew that it was going to one of the hardest moments in my life. I had a child on the way and according to my parents it was time for me to grow up and face the consequences. Mom and Dad were always good at making me face the consequences of my decisions. I expected to be financially responsible and I wanted to be a part of my child's life, what was surprising was the marriage proposal that was expected from me. So while my heart was with Bella I presented Ashley with a ring, a symbol of my commitment, and we made plans to live happily ever after, or so we thought.

Things were never awful between us, most people would say we had a great marriage. At first we blamed our lack of passion on being new parents, college, my new career, but then when life began to quiet down our feelings for each other never deepened to what we both expected from a marriage. I love her and I know she loves me, but that is superficial to what I felt with Bella after a few weeks, so one summer evening we sat together on a chaise lounge under the stars and talked for the first time in four years. There were tears, accusations, and in the end we both admitted that even though we loved each other we were not in love with each other. Ashley is my best friend and I am hers, we have a beautiful daughter together. I ignored everything else in my life until I couldn't ignore it anymore.

The lights dim as the screen behind the stage comes alive with photos of children. Beautiful babies with parents, grandparents, and siblings. All had died and gone to heaven., but each photo is a moment frozen in time. A memory that no one knew how important it really was. Like me I am sure they thought there was time. There is never enough time, enough words, enough tears to make up for the past.

I think about Bella who stands on the side of the stage as she watches the photos appear and fade away. She is not the same girl I saw weeks ago, the girl that was broken and yelling, but now I see her strength that keeps her standing on that stage. To have to see those faces knowing the pain first hand, to have held a precious child in her arms and then to have had to lay them to eternal rest. It doesn't surprise me that some speak of her as weak, but to me she is a warrior. The strength she has just to get out of bed each morning is confounding and yet everyone treats her like she is made of glass. I don't think she is fragile, she is brave. She hides to protect herself and it makes sense. She is broken, damaged, unable to work under normal circumstances.

I watch as her boyfriend Garrett moves around the room trying to find her and I chuckle to myself. He tries so hard and for what? Does he know Bella? Not that I really know her because it has been so many years I still don't think he has any clue what he is getting in to. He walks up to where I stand. He tries to intimidate me and what he fails to understand is that the woman across the room is the only person in the world who could do that.

"What are you doing here, Cullen?" he snarls at me.

I laugh and shake my head. Clearly amused by his theatrics and angering him at the same time.

"Supporting a worthy cause, and you?" I ask.

"I thought you understood you are not welcome around Bella," he puffs up his chest like a chicken protecting the coop from a sly fox. He wants me to remember the night he threatened me to stay away and to never speak to her. He wants me gone so he can come in on his white horse and save the day. He actually thinks he can save her.

I take a step toward Garrett putting inches between us and I speak slowly.

"Maybe I am here to honor my daughter, Peyton."

Feeling good about my rebuttal I step back a little only to have him grab my arm and twist it behind my back. He pushes me out the nearest exit and into a small courtyard on the backside of the venue.

He throws the first punch, but I throw the last. Jasper and Emmett come to the rescue. They favor Garrett and ask me to leave. Although I catch the look on Emmett's face and he looks upset. I see Ashley off to the side and I walk to her. She wraps her arm around my waist and we leave.

Ashley tells me that Libby is spending the night with Rose and Emmett. I just nod in response and rest my head on the seat as she drives down the road.

"You sure that you still want to do this?" she asks. Her eyes are on the road, but her mind is on the situation between us.

"I am."

"It is going to be hard. She can barely have a conversation with me. Could you imagine..."

I whip my head and stare at her. It is all I can do not to scream at her. I'm an asshole, but I am not abusive.

"What the fuck are you blabbing about?" I ask as calmly as I can because Ashley talking to Bella is not something I want to happen yet if ever.

Her eyes are focused on the road and knowing her as well as I do I know she has no intention of looking at me.

"I just thought if I said something to her then maybe it would be easier to talk to her," she explains, "I just wanted to help the two of you to be able to have a chance to talk."

I let out an exaggerated breath and try to understand that Ashley is trying. She is in such a tough situation and she is still here by my side, helping me find happiness while I break all my promises to her.

"Well if that fucking idiot Garrett would get lost then maybe things would be a little easier. Rose and Emmett both agree that Bella and I need talk about Peyton. I just don't know what to do."

The radio filled the silence for a little while until we arrived at our motel. We both sat in silence for a minute before I spoke.

"I can't get her out of my mind. Everyday I think about her and I could never figure out why. I just wonder if she needs me to help grieve the loss of our daughter. Do I need this so I can move on with you? I just wish I had all the answers. For you, for Bella, for Libby. I just don't know the right thing to do.

All my life I have had my father tell me what I was going to do and now for the first time in my life I am deciding. This is so fucking scary because what if I chose wrong. I can't blame this on Carlisle Cullen, this is all on me. What if...What if..."

Tears begin to fall down my face. They fall because I am so worn out for trying to do the right thing. I open the car door and enter the motel room that we are staying in for the week. Falling face first on the bed I close my eyes and clear my mind. I wait for sleep to take me away hoping that tomorrow brings new opportunities to speak to Bella.