"Aww….baby girl…" Shane moaned into my ear as our love making session continued. I told you. I could never tell him no. An hour ago I was so mad at him for forgetting our anniversary and now we're in bed tangled up in the sheets.

His lips tasted like rich banana cake and strong coffee. I've never tasted anything more delicious. I loved this man. Even though I swore every time was going to be the last. Even though I swore up and down that I couldn't take this anymore, I stayed. I wasn't going anywhere. I needed this man in my life.

When he was finally done, he pulled me close to him, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and I laid my head on his chest. "I've missed you," he whispered, still breathing hard. After two cups of coffee and some strenuous love making, he had sobered up a little bit more. It was close to four thirty in the morning. It was safe to say that I wasn't going to work in a few hours. I was going to have to call in sick. There was no way I was going to be able to leave his arms right now. I was terrified that if I let him go, he wouldn't come back to me. I could take a talking to at work for missing a day. What I couldn't take was missing some precious time with Shane.

"Stay with me?" I whispered as I snuggled closer to him.

"I should head home."

"Please?"

"I should really go. It's late."

"But you've been drinking. And you're right, it's late. Please just stay so I don't worry about you driving, Shane."

I could tell that I was going to have to be more convincing. Moving my head from his chest, and his arm from around my shoulders, I shrugged him off and moved so I was on top of him. Straddling him, I leaned down and kissed him hard on the mouth. "Please stay….." Reaching down, I started to stroke him. He started to stiffen under my light touch.

"Well, baby, you do make a good point," he whispered huskily in my ear as he closed his eyes and let me do all the work. "I guess I'll stay the night…"

.

.

.

I had set the alarm for seven o'clock so I could call work and let them know I wasn't able to come in today. I was so tired. And I was hoping to spend the rest of the day with Shane. I shut the alarm off quickly and looked over at him-he was still sound asleep. It had taken all my womanly charms a few hours ago to keep him here instead of letting him leave like he had wanted to. I pushed the uneasy thoughts I had in my mind to the back for now. He wanted to leave. He didn't want to be here with me. He had wanted to go home. I'm so insecure when it comes to him. All I need for him is reassure me once in awhile that he really does want to be with me. I really needed to build up some self esteem.

I quickly called the office and begged off for the day. Letting them know that I needed to take a personal sick day; I wasn't feeling well. I was planning on spending the day in bed. What my boss didn't need to know that I planned on staying the day in bed with my boyfriend.

Crawling back into bed, I was careful not to wake him up. I snuggled up to his back, throwing an arm over his waist and breathed in his scent. I loved this man. I was so glad that he was here. "Ash?" he murmured in his sleep. He rolled over and took me into his arms. Placing a kiss on my forehead, he pulled me closer. "Morning, baby….." he whispered.

"Morning," I said softly as I reached up to touch his cheek.

"Aren't you going to be late to work?" he said while glancing at his watch.

"I called in."

"Aw, baby, you shouldn't have done that," he said stroking my long hair. It felt like he was treating me like a child who was upset because she wasn't going to get her way.

"I thought we could spend the day together?"

"That sounds awesome. But I've got so much stuff to do today. Dad was expecting me to come over today and go over some paperwork and then there's some phone calls that I gotta make. And a bunch of other boring work stuff that needs to get done. Babe, it's just not a good day to lay around in bed all day…. as much as I want to."

"Damn it, Shane," I whispered. "Can't you spend just one day with me while you're not on the road?" I pleaded with him with my eyes. I tried to fight back the tears that were welling up and threatening to fall. Couldn't he see? All I wanted to do was spend time with him. That's all I wanted-was some of his time.

"Ash, what's gotten into you lately?" he asked, pushing me away and looking at me with those brown eyes that I couldn't resist. "Every time I see you, you're picking a fight with me. What did I do?"

"You forgot our anniversary."

He sighed. "I know that now. And I promised to make it up to you. I just don't know if I'll be able to do it today. I feel like shit for forgetting our anniversary. That's why you were pissed off at me last night. What else is going on?"

Do I tell him? Do I let it all out? Do I lay all my cards on the table? Do I let him know about all my insecurities about us?

"I'm having doubts, Shane."

"Doubts? About what?"

"Us."

"What? There's nothing to doubt about us. Me and you," he said, grabbing my hand and bringing it to his mouth for a kiss, "are perfect. Perfectly matched in every way, baby."

"You never spend any time with me." I whisper.

"I'm here right now, aren't I?"

He had a point. He was here right now. I should just take it for what it's worth and spend the time I had with him. But images of me waiting by the phone every night and images of me waiting for him to show up at my door flashed through my head. The phone never rang and the doorbell was always silent. I couldn't keep going on like this anymore. I had to do something drastic to get his attention.

"Maybe we need a break from each other."

"Ashley, you can't be serious? Think about what you're saying."

"Shane, I'm tired. Tired of waiting for you to call every night and tired of waiting up until two in the morning for you to finally show up at my door even though I know you've been in town since four in the afternoon. I can't do this much longer. You need to make a decision."

"A decision about what?"

"A decision about just how important I am in your life. Take me on the road with you. Steph told me that the other guys bring their girlfriends on the road with them all the time. It won't be any different than them."

"Are you giving me an ultimatum? Because you know as well as I do that I do not do well with ultimatums, Ash."

"I guess I am Shane. Take me on the road with you and start acting like a real boyfriend, or I'm going to walk. I've given into the fact that if I want to be with you that I need to be understanding of your work schedule, I get that. But you need to make time for me too. It's not fair to me for you to just come and go as you please."

He stared at me for a long time. He grabbed his pants and started to put them on. He still hadn't looked at me. I was beginning to worry that he hadn't said anything to me yet. Was he just going to get dressed and leave?

"You better pack your stuff," he finally said.

I squealed with delight and threw myself into his arms.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear. "You won't regret this."

"I know I won't. But I hope you don't regret it."