Of Blood and Serpents
Part One.
Chapter Three.
-The Long Suffering
The weeks after Christmas holidays passed unmercifully quickly for Lily whose kindling idea to start exploring the forbidden forest grew with the swiftness of a weed in her thoughts and by the time February was half through she had grown daring enough to begin to follow Bee, her now constant companion and only confidant through the forest. Sometimes even visiting the kit which had been missing since her arrival back at Hagrid's Dumbledore, seemed to have returned to his wild roots unlike his sister.
Bee seemed to know the forest like the back of her paw and in no time Lily began recognizing the barren cold trees, simultaneously gathering bits of information from Hagrid on the dangerous places with in the forest. One place lily found her self in often, a small clearing which she could see the white cloudy sky through. It was there that she decided she would begin something of her own garden when the weather warmed.
The forest was so incredibly still, the wind broken by the trees Lily found herself wandering for hours forgetting the time because there simply was no time in the forest. So she'd walk until her fingers grew numb and her nose began to run, her cheeks becoming pink in the cold until Bee danced around her ankles and mewled in hunger. It was only then that Lily would note her own hunger and begin travelling back.
If Hagrid were aware of her pastime he said nothing, allowing her to do what she would with her time and she was grateful. In her beginning weeks walking the already carved trails Lily met nothing, the forest seeming cold, barren and utterly asleep and silent. It felt sometimes as she traversed the thick brambles and thorny brush that her and Bee were the only creatures there at all. She knew it wasn't true but it certainly felt that way, the silence of the sleeping forest resounding.
It was a day like any other before the first creature of the forest revealed himself to her and it was as she was working at the cold hard soil in the field which she frequented, sometimes lying on the ground once she'd exhausted herself from softening the soil, watching the clear sky above as she recouped.
"You." The voice came from behind her and she snapped her head back in surprise, her stomach lurching, believing she'd finally been caught by someone and would now be in trouble. Her mouth dropped at who she saw, or rather what she saw when she turned, for she'd never seen anything like it. He was tall, taller than she'd ever imagined, his body towering unimaginably larger than her lanky scrawny form, on his almost flat longish face he held a light pinch between his brows, his pale blond hair falling into his blue eyed gaze. "You come here often don't you?"
"I-i.." She had not used her voice since the morning so she sounded scratchy, Bee sitting beside her as if for support as she stared up at the fascinating creature above her.
"Don't be frightened foal I mean you no harm." He said and she noticed his voice was light, boyishly light as if it had not broken yet and she realized that from where she sat (yes she was sitting) it was no wonder he seemed quite so large, but really, as her green eyes swept over his Palmino body she saw he was about the size of a pony, but with longer legs, and of course the added height of his abdominal, which was quick thin and scrawny like a young mans as well.
"Is this your clearing?" She managed to choke finally, realizing it could very well be centaur property and scolded herself for being so stupid thinking she could just prance around the forest-
"No... but I use it at night to watch the stars and couldn't help but notice your... activities." His eyes drifted behind where she was sitting to the mound of upturned dirt she was tilling.
"Oh." She said feeling quite relieved and brushing the dirt crumbs from her hands stood up, the centaur boy still quite a bit taller than her. Her cheeks flushed warm and she swallowed nervously, the centaur being the first new person, or rather creature she'd spoken to in a long while. "Is it bothering you... I'm a little new to the forest you see.."
"No, no.. just curious." He said, his large blue eyes blinking softly as he seemed to examine her, Lily resisting the urge to step back as he leaned over her curiously to give her hair a plaintive sniff. "I've never met a human foal before." He said sounding as interested in her as she was of him.
"I've never met a centaur before either..." She whispered, blinking up at his large blue eyes. "My names Lily."
"Lily.." He tested the name then stepped back, ducking his head as if a bow, his hoofs shifting against the hardened cold ground. "I am Firenze." He introduced himself cordially his voice straining roughly. Lily found something odd tug the corners of her mouth, her lips contracting into a beaming smile as an odd wave of elation washed through her nearly making her dizzy.
"Firenze... its nice to meet you." a smile sidled over Firenze's own mouth, and he tilted his head to the side looking to her side.
"Who is your companion?" Lily looked down sharply to see Bee regarding the Palomino centaur with golden eyes, her lion like tail swishing the ground.
"Her name is Bee." She answered, her fingers playing with the hems of her overly long armed robes.
"Is she your.. pet? I've heard humans enjoy keeping a variety of creatures." He asked with the sound of distaste on his tongue as if the thought was very terrible. Lily understood why after a moment of thought, she supposed keeping animals was cruel in a way but as she looked at Bee she realized she'd never regarded her as anything but her friend and shook her head.
"I don't think so.." She said with a small laugh, wrinkling her nose. "She goes where she likes, and doesn't mind when I come along I think." Firenze nodded in pleased understanding at that, Lily swallowed biting her cheek to keep herself from asking too many questions but unable to stop one that slipped out. "You said you star watch here, does the rest of your..." She paused trying to recall the proper word. "herd as well?" She asked trying to sense if there were anymore creatures in the forest around her but felt not even the tingle of sensing discomfort. The forest as still and dead as it always seemed to be, only the faint rustle of the leaves on the nearly still forest wind.
"No... I'm the only one of my herd to come to this clearing, it is away from the grounds we travel, I enjoy the quiet and solitude of this place." Lily couldn't help but agree.
"There's much peace here.. that's why I wanted to try and start a garden." She said quietly, gesturing to the upturned earth behind her, Firenze looking upon it with understanding now.
"Of herbs or flowers?" Lily bit her lip sheepishly realizing she'd hardly begun plan past the readying of the soil.
"I'm not sure yet, I've only just begun.." She admitted, still toying with the inside of her robe cuff nervously.
"There are flowers," He began quietly. "Lovely night blooming flowers that begin growing when the spring brings the wet and the frigid cold leaves. If I should bring you the bulbs would you plant them for me? So that I might have flowers at night?" His voice was so low and sweet and the request threw her off she found herself unable to even consider saying no, her heart giving a little leap at the prospect of seeing the centaur again, even if it was just in passing. She nodded quickly, her eyes shining in excitement.
"When should we-?"
"-I will find you." He said hooves beginning to pace, and back away. "I must return to my herd Lily foal, goodbye." He said backing up, Lily biting her lip and raising her hand, the robe gathering around her elbow exposing her forearm to the late February chill as she waved goodbye, the fascinating creature disappearing into the depths of the forest beyond.
Lily practically danced through the forest back home, skipping and spinning as she spoke in a rush to Bee.
"Did you see him Bee! I don't think I've met something so amazing before... Do you think all centaurs are like that? Do you think we'll see him again... ? after he gives us the bulbs I mean." She had never spoken in such a rush as she did walking through the serene and dead forbidden forest, her excitement uprooting her shy reserve and silence she mostly kept.
"Lily!" the rough calling of her voice hushed her into a dreaded silence, her heart bunching itself in her throat as she spun to see Hagrid coming through the woods. Her stomach plummeting as she realized she'd finally been caught, She hung her head unable to look at Hagrid as he approached. His large feet breaking twigs and the dead undergrowth beneath him as Bee circled her legs.
"I though' it was yer I heard," He said thoughtfully, his large warm black eyes squinting at her downcast form, his giant hand coming up to pat her black shiny hair gingerly. "Aye, Cheer up, did'ja think dull old Hagrid didn' realize where yer'd been sneak'n off to, aye?" The skin around his eyes crinkled warmly as her green ones lit up, her heart giving a stuttering tattoo in her chest.
"Really Hagrid? You knew all along?"
"No' really anyplace else left teh wander ter now is there? Yer bin keeping yerself ou' of trouble I hope? Did I hear yeh mudder'n somethin' bout Centaur's a momen' ago?" Lily nodded excitedly, placing her tiny hand in Hagrids absently as they began to wander back to the cottage, her mouth working excitedly to tell him about the encounter, probably with more words she'd used to speak to him in the past two weeks as she let the story spill out.
"A centaur approach yeh? Is almos' unheard of unless they got a score ter set'le, yer sure he came alone, this centaur?" Lily nodded as the first chilly wind of the Hogwarts grounds passed around them, the half giant and the child at the edge of the pumpkin patch still speaking as they neared the hut.
"Uh huh," She mumbled swallowing and withholding a shiver as the cold wind bit through her robes, using the back of her hand she rubbed the tip of her pink sharp tipped nose. "He wasn't a big centaur though," She added, remembering how large he seemed at first, but when she took a closer look seemed quite young still. "His name was Firenze." She told him, wondering if that would make a difference.
"Firenze eh? Haven' me' him myself, keep to themselves much'o tha time." Lily nodded in understanding, she'd read a little bit about centaur's, not much, but she knew they liked to keep to themselves and could be a bit territorial if threatened which is why she had been worried she'd encroached on the young blonde centaur's turf. They broke through the forest and neared the hut, Lily having fallen into thoughtful silence as Hagrid glanced around taking a peaceful breath of the cool sweet Hogwarts air.
Was it really not so long ago when the whole country was in tumult? That Lily and James had held their young son close?
Lily heard Hagrid sniffle and drew her eyes away from the slowly dimming sky to look at her companion.
"Hagrid..." She murmured, seeing the glitter of tears in in his eyes and feeling a touch of concern fill her, her hand reaching to his thoughtlessly. She held his large weather worn hand gently, her tiny pale hand dwarfed by his, barely able to wrap her hand around two of his fingers let alone the whole of his hand. She squeezed his fingers gently, feeling odd and unsure of what to do to comfort the man, her mouth parting silently before speaking the first words that came to her lips. "Its okay now Hagrid." Sniffing and altogether touched by her gesture Hagrid fought another wave of emotion and sniffed, grunting and gently knuckling the tears away with his other hand.
"I know.. I know." he muttered gruffly, looking to the sky which burnt orange on the horizon.
.
.
Severus waved his wand, magically and silently calling a certain necessary herb that his students would need for the rest of the potions week. A moment later, his brow pinching in irritation his wand waved again to summon the simple ingredient. Nothing. With a frustrated groan his robes swooshed against the floor towards the open ingredients cabinet along the wall which he immediately began shifting through. His annoyance grew as he continued to rummage with no luck, his hand accidentally brushing to roughly against a glass jar containing another dried herb which sent it off the edge, and upon hitting the floor shattering with a crash. An annoyed snort at the back of his throat Severus flicked his wand and the jar re-arranged itself with the brittle herbs inside generally unharmed. He placed it back inside the cabinet before snapping the doors shut, wracking his brain trying to remember whether or not he had stocked up on the particular herb at the beginning of the year.
Striding to his desk he pulled a squeaky drawer open and plucked the old parchment list he'd created, his black eyes drifting down the list, finding nothing concerning the dry herb he shoved the parchment back into the drawer and strode determinedly out of the classroom heading towards his extra stores.
He searched, and not simply in his stores either, but he also met with Professor Sprout, finding little luck there as the ones before, until finally calling upon herb and potion ingredient stores. He met with the same dilemma each time. The plant was in season, but the stores would not be receiving any stock (fresh stock as he needed) until two weeks when they were delivered. The ones that they did have were old and dried, completely useless to him. Finally Severus was forced into making a disagreeable decision which Professor Sprout recommended. It was simple in theory, but Severus strove to avoid it at all costs So as a last hope he found himself in Dumbledore's office explaining to the old wizard his predicament.
"Ah, it is quite a problem Severus, one which I have an answer for," He answered, his intense blue eyes sparkling over the half moon shaped glasses which perched on the tip of his nose. At his response Severus felt relief. "I do believe that the plant of which you speak grows quite abundantly within the Dark forest. I'm sure Hagrid would not mind gathering the necessary amount for you." Severus's stomach twisted sourly, all relief completely gone. Bitterly he resigned himself.
"Thank you, Headmaster." He uttered, disappointed, Dumbledore's mouth curling mischievously in the corners as Severus strode away.
Now, having exhausted his resources he was forced into it, though he was almost considering just changing the curriculum around it, the task would prove ridiculously arduous. So, resigning himself to the unpleasant task he left the castle heading towards the groundskeepers hut.
.
.
"Hagrid!" The sun shone brightly in the pumpkin patch as Lily scampered after the half giant from their shared home on the edge of Hogwarts. The wind tousling her long black hair as she jogged after him, her bare feet, toughened from the forest walks because she'd since abandoned her shoes to the warming of weather. Hagrid paused at the cusp of the woods where darkness and shade exuded.
"Wha's tha'?" Hagrid turned pausing as the child ran to him, the kneazle Bee, hot at her heels as she always was as she came to a stop in front of him, her green eyes darkened in the shade but still shining happily. She seemed to have healed completely from her stay with Severus, even Hagrid noticing the difference in her, especially since she had begun travelling in the forest. Hagrid knew that Dumbledore might not have approved letting her wander unsupervised but he had a soft spot for the girl and when she had returned from her first trip through the forest he found he couldn't deny her the happiness she seemed to find there.
The issue of her wandering was now not an issue, for in the three months since she had returned she had not one dangerous encounter in the forest which Hagrid had heard of and was now content to allow her to completely wander much as he did as a child through the woods. Though Hagrid often forgot the difference between the two, the fact that while he was young when he began traversing the forest not nearly as young, nor was he as vulnerable as she was being a mere human. Simply Hagrid had faith in the forest and the girl, her eyes telling him as much that she innately respected the forest and its creatures as he did, Hagrid believing that the forest would treat her kindly in response.
"Can I join you today Hagrid?" She asked, her voice lilt with innocence and reserve which only she seemed to carry, Hagrid brushing his beard thoughtfully at her request as his kind black eyes happened to look past the girl to the spindly trail that led to his cottage, a dark form travelling down it, the destination clearly the cottage. Lily noticing Hagrid's line of gaze turned curiously, her brows pinching together as she saw the form anxiety lacing her quiet green eyes.
"Huh, I'm no' expectin anyone terday.." He mumbled gruffly the child's question forgotten as he lumbered forward, pebbles and earth crunching beneath his feet as Lily stood in spot quickly picking up Bee to hold and petting her as if to ease her discomfort as she watched the stranger approach.
She'd decided she didn't much like it when people came to visit Hagrid, generally because it tended to be Dumbledore, and be about taking her to Severus, an event which she had been told wouldn't be until the summer months came. Still, she became guarded, the dark stranger familiar in a way that made her only more uncomfortable. As the visitor came into closer view his almost bat like robes brushing across the ground she came ahead quickly to hide away from view behind Hagrid's back, her heart giving a start in her chest where she held Bee close to her.
"Oh, 'ello Professor, I din' expec' ter see yer." Hagrid grumbled in a friendly tone, Lily swallowing as she stood awkwardly behind him with her eyes squeezed shut hoping that he wasn't there for her.
"Believe me if I could have saved the trip it would have been done. However, a misfortune in the classroom has brought me here," He cleared his dry throat briefly before getting to his point, his hard black eyes staring into Hagrid's kind soft ones. "The root and leaves of the Hillywig plant, is necessary in my classroom for the next week or so. My stores are apparently depleted. The plant grows abundantly in the dark forest, it would be of immense help if you could gather, say, a few hundred?" he asked casually, Lily's ears prickling at the sound of the plant name, her eyes blinking quickly as she attempted to draw it from memory.
It was from her parchment scribblings... but that hadn't been the only memory she had of it.
She remembered of walking as small fuzzy leafed plants brushed her thin pale ankles as she trotted through towards her clearing, Bee making small path of brushed down plants for her to follow, lightly threading in her wake...
Hagrid's rough voice drew her back from her memory, drawing her back to the conversation.
"I don' think I've ever seen anythin' li'e this Professor, maybe Professor Sprout can help yah?" She could almost see Severus's sour displeased expression, her stomach knotting as she stood silently, Bee beginning to squirm uncomfortably in her grip before she loosened her hands apologetically, her mind still chugging thoughtfully at the memory that had presented itself..
"She's out as well I'm afraid, a pity you couldn't be of more assistance, I suppose Dumbledore overestimated in assuming you could be of some help." Severus drawled back, the barb sparking something in the girl hiding behind the half giant.
Hagrid was the kindest, friendliest person she had ever met, hearing Severus, a man that frightened her terribly, berate one of the only people she considered a friend made her... Well she wasn't sure Lily was never really sure about what to call the things that swirled around her chest, but it burned. For the first time Lily felt something other than fear for Severus. Maybe she had felt it while in Severus's care, but the feeling was probably buried unnoticed in the nervous strain that hung heavy in the air when she was near him.
Now, though, protected by the warmth of Hagrid's hut she felt it swell up inside her, something warmer and wilder than the flames inside the fireplace. Anger. In a moment she let Bee slide from her grasp and stepped out from behind Hagrid, her eyes glittering with determination rather than the usual silence, or quiet anxiety she carried there. Obviously making an effort to ignore Severus she stood turned towards Hagrid from his side and tugged on his large fuzzy vest.
"I know where that plant grows Hagrid." She told him confidently, her green eyes persistent "I can go get it." Hagrid looked surprised, his hand patting his great belly thoughtfully.
"Oh, very good then! Yah remember seein' em from our las' walk around the woods eh?" Lily's eyes shifted in confusion before she understood, blinking quickly as she noticed Hagrid's wink and giving a quick nod. Then faltered for the first time.
"Yes... but remember Hagrid, you squished them the last time we went because your feet are so big." She explained her voice quieting thoughtfully.
"Well, a can' jus' le' you go on yer own... even if yer do remember tha way." He grumbled, Lily dropping her head, her brows pinching together again as guilt nibbled at her. She had wanted to help Hagrid, to prove that Dumbledore hadn't been wrong in saying he could help. Lily knew how much Hagrid cared about what Dumbledore thought of him, though she didn't really understand why. A slow sigh of annoyance escaped from the person she had been ignoring. Severus not particularly happy with suggesting another answer.
"If she remembers the path I will accompany her to the place." Severus voice droned as if he very much would rather not have too, Lily too felt distinct displeasure at the thought, bitterness filling her mouth she realized she'd gotten herself into the mess and now she was going to have to live with the consequences.
Swallowing the taste she nodded looking down at her bare feet and chewing the inside of her cheek as her fingers played with the hems of her robes, nodding towards Severus finally and before turning to Hagrid, trying to still her nervous habits.
"Goodbye Hagrid."
"Take care of yerself now." Hagrid grumbled noticing with a hint of worry that her eyes had lost there lacklustre sparkle which she contained moments ago.
Lily sighed, swallowing before straightening herself and staring ahead determined to get the morning over with.
"Come on Bee.."
The forest was as quiet as ever, though now covered in splashes of budding life and green, the early migrated birds adding to the quiet whisper of leaves and the sounds of there feet against the earth. Lily wasn't wearing shoes, a fact the she hadn't really noticed, but Severus had, wondering if Dumbledore knew how Hagrid really looked after the girl. As they walked, Lily's mind slowly drifted as she followed the path she knew intimately towards their destination. She thought about what Dumbledore had said, what seemed like so long ago when she had returned with Severus from his home.
"Why does he hate me so much?"
Then Dumbledore's answer, mysterious, yet almost comforting.
"Why, I don't believe he hates you at all my dear. You see, Severus is very much grieving, and in his grief he sees you as his punishment. His punishment for all the mistakes he's made, mistakes he deeply regrets making. What you must understand my dear is that when he looks at you, he does not see you as you are, but instead as all the terrible things he's come to regret."
His punishment... Lily had not thought much about Severus for quite a long time, but now with his looming figure only a few paces behind her she began to ponder Dumbledore's words.
Why was Severus grieving? Was she really such a terrible burden to him? And her question about it all.. was it true?
"Can I make it better?"
"I think its best to hope that, given enough time he will come to terms with his grief."
She still felt Severus's disdain, for her, towards Hagrid even.. If Dumbledore hadn't been lying to make her feel better, then Severus was still grieving by the way he acted. How long did guilt and grief last? Lily wasn't sure if she even understood the meaning of the words. As she began to wonder more about such things something tugged her sharply to reality causing her to stop and stand still staring at the forest a head of her where she felt something.
"Don't tell me you've forgotten the path." Just as quickly as the feeling had tingled through her it passed. Discomforted, but determined to continue she began walking again, the feeling in her chest making her wish more than ever the little trip would end soon.
"You are sure of where were going aren't you?" Annoyed moments later by Severus's second query she frowned at the forest ahead of her replying without looking back.
"Yes." She murmured just loud enough for him to hear her as she continued forward running her fingers through her hair, the forest shaded and quiet around them while her eyes searched warily around her. Never before had she felt so particularly watched as she did now. It was a feeling that made her skin crawl in unease, though it could also have something to do with the man following close behind her.
She stopped and swallowed as she got to a familiar tree which Bee had taken the liberty to begin using as a scratch post and was something of a marker for her now. She had never attempted before to estimate the time it took her to get to a certain place in the forest, it had never really mattered. Now she frowned in concentration chewing on her cheek and fiddling with locks of her hair as her robes swished against the undergrowth. Just as she was getting comfortable with the silence and calm of the forest and her thoughts Severus spoke up from behind her.
"Just how long will this walk in the forest last?" Lily wasn't exactly comfortable speaking with, or to Severus, or being asked questions that weren't vehement. Being in the forest gave her a little peace though, and while she couldn't see Bee she knew she was around. Not to mention she didn't want to upset him by ignoring him, she had exhausted most of her courage back at the hut trying to defend Hagrid. Didn't that work out splendidly?she wondered bitterly before taking pause to answer him.
"Just a little longer." She said hoping that would satisfy him enough to let her lead him the rest of the way.
The forest became denser, another sign they were getting close to the spot, Lily almost at ease again when she saw something in the corner of her eye making her tense and turn, her neck prickling with the feeling of eyes on her making her stomach turn uneasily. There was nothing there and she swallowed taking a breath before continuing onward Severus saying nothing about her anxious glances and pauses.
Finally the trees broke around them, to reveal tall widely spaced tree's with the brightness of the sun coming down to soak the thick growth of Hillywig plant, fresh and young, hundreds and hundreds growing from trunk to trunk. Lily had always loved the walk through this part, actually her paths were still well defined by the soft malleable plants. A small scoff behind her made her turn to see Severus's mouth turned contemptuously making heat rise again through her. She had given him what he wanted, what he asked for and yet he still wasn't pleased, he actually looked even more displeased. Lily forced herself to look away from him before he looked at her, her small fists clenching. Why couldn't he just be pleased for once? Why was she so bad?
"Shall we begin or do you expect to laze about while I gather them?" She didn't say anything, she didn't look at him she just got to her knees and began burying her fingers in the soil to uproot the plant, she felt his eyes on her and scowled tugging sharply on the plant, her anger leaking out before a sharp blow made her jolt her heart throwing itself against her ribcage. "DON'T just rip them out you insufferable idiot. You'll bruise the roots and rip the stem." As if smacking her on the back of the head hadn't been enough he began to yell at her, his anger making her tremble. She wanted to just get up and run, run back to Hagrid and his warm hut and curl up into the cushions of the couch.
She didn't want to ever be around Severus again.
But she couldn't do any of those things, and worse. She wanted to cry so she did what she had to, she pulled on that reserve that she had used while staying with him, that calm grim resolution and numbness and shoved the tears back.
Her eyes dried miraculously though her hands still trembled she couldn't help but wish it was cold outside again, it was always easier in the cold to bury herself. She nodded weakly, her eyes darting back to the earth where she could already see what Severus had meant about the bruising and felt a stifling hatred. For him for being right, and for herself for doing it wrong in the first place.
"Show me how to do it?" She spoke, surprising herself, still feeling Severus hard black empty contempt filled gaze upon her. She couldn't look at him but she saw his black robes swish beside her and his spider like fingers move to gently unearth the Hillywig from the soft soil barely touching the plant until carefully placing it in a conjured wicker basket.
Neither spoke afterwards. Lily worked as silently as Severus did forcing herself to work carefully and gently even though she wanted to scream and sob and bury her own head beneath the earth. Those feelings slowly drained away the more she continued each plant, one after the other, one after the other... it was like walking down the steps of Severus home, careful... quietly, gently no matter how much your heart yearns to barrel down the stairs. There was a safeness in silence and method.
She didn't know how long it lasted but as she began burying her fingers into the soft soil of another Hillywig her wrist was caught suddenly by a flash of spidery fingers. Fear ricocheted up her arm from the touch, her eyes flying upwards wide and terror stricken. His black eyes seemed to waver momentarily, his curled mouth tugging downwards slightly as he released her wrist. She looked away but his eyes remained on her the words which he had meant to come out stopping in his throat and rearranging as he tucked his hand back into his robes.
"We're done here.." He murmured his voice empty with thought rather than contemptuousness. Lily shuddered silently and nodded, her hair falling against her cheeks messily as she picked herself up, brushing off her soil stained clothes. Bee greeted her as they walked once against through the dense forest and began to find there way back. She glanced at her in acknowledgement, her mind too distant to notice Bee was looking at her with particular intensity. She meowed in annoyance before Lily looked at her again, pausing as her ears flicked back in annoyance and her tail swished as she began to trot away. Lily's stomach clenched at the terrible thought that Bee was abandoning her when the animal paused and Lily happened a glance further a head of her, the sight making her heart stutter and her neck prickle.
Firenze bowed his head in acknowledgement and Lily realized the feeling she had all day of someone watching her hadn't been off, Firenze wanted to see her.
"Is there a reason were standing here?" Severus asked in annoyance and Lily glanced to him embarrassed, blurting the first excuse in her head.
"I have to go to the bathroom." She mumbled, propelling herself forward where the centaur had stood moments ago leaving Severus staring with a look of disgust imprinted on his pallid features.
Lily felt relief the further she got away from Severus disappearing into the forest following eagerly where Bee was leading her. When she stopped Lily did as well, watching as Firenze appeared from behind a tree his head tilting graciously again. Lily mimicked him her mouth stretching into an almost giddy smile. Her insides an excited mess for she hadn't seen the centaur since the first time she had met him when he had promised her to bring her bulbs. At that thought her she noticed a small sac which he carried over his left shoulder. Lily was the first to speak, her eagerness leaking out in a small burble of words.
"Are those-?" she started in a hurried huff the centaur looking pleased, his blonde tail swishing and swatting invisible insects in the air.
"The night blooming ones I promised? Yes, I was worried you may have forgotten.." he spoke in a lightly guarded excitement of his own, seeming pleased that she had clearly not forgotten him after all, Lily looking surprised at his words.
"I thought you were the one who'd forgotten." she replied earnestly, pleased as pie that it wasn't so, and happy to forget about the man waiting on her to return.
"I keep my promises." He answered solemnly and Lily's giddiness left her in a similar effect.
"I keep mine too." Before Firenze she didn't remember having ever made a promise, but it felt like such an important thing that she vowed that she would try and always keep her promises. In a small wordless exchange Firenze handed her the bag and turned to leave.
"Wait!" Lily practically barked, lurching forward making the young palomino take pause. His torso turned towards her his intense blue eyes making her turn pink from her forward outburst. "I.. will we see each other again?" She asked in faint hopeful whisper as if to balance for her louder outburst moments before. For a moment he seemed thoughtful, his expression studious of her before his head turned upwards abruptly as if he was studying invisible stars.
"Perhaps one day we might meet again." With his words hanging complacently on the air between them Lily feeling a stab of disappointment as she allowed him to part with a small nod of her head.
As Lily walked back towards where she had left Severus, the bag given to her by Firenze tucked beneath her robes she felt the stifling weight of gloom return to her. Nothing had changed, Firenze was but a parting creature, a friendly acquaintance but nothing more. Severus despised her, and she could do little against his utter loathing of her existence, and soon she'd have to return to a place which confined them together in musty disdainful silence.
Severus parted from her almost wordlessly, he did pause once in front of Hagrid's hut to spare her a dark eyed glance.
" Your assistance was... adequate." He told her, Lily registering the words as enthusiastically as he gave them and simply nodded, the thought of drawing his presence longer almost unbearable. Returning to the hut Lily felt hunger of an empty stomach from a long days work but felt too weak to make something, instead she curled herself on the couch and let bee sooth her as outside twilight approached.
.
.
As Severus made his way back to the school with his precious potion ingredient he was interested to find that Dumbledore was within the stone courtyard seeming to be looking at the stars. Suspicion instantly crept into Severus, his eyes narrowing on the old powerful wizard as he approached. It was Dumbledore who spoke first as he looked at the sky that was beginning to haze and slip into twilight.
"I find it is quite peaceful to stand beneath an open sky during Twilight.." He seemed to ramble in his way that made him seem like an innocuous old wizard. Severus knew better and he wasn't persuaded by his attempt to lull him into a false sense of security.
"Personally I find it just as peaceful as every other part of my day." Severus rebuked curtly Dumbledore chuckling and finally lowering his eyes to look at Severus from over his half moon spectacles. What he observed with his old wrinkled piercing blue eyes Severus hadn't the slightest, nor the interest currently, for he'd rather be retired to his personal study by now. Dumbledore though, had other plans.
"I see your ingredient harvesting has proven quite successful," Dumbledore noted, a smile faint on his mouth as he gestured with his boney white hand towards the baskets Severus carried.
"They will serve there purpose." He answered warily sensing where Dumbledore was taking the conversation.
"And the girl proved quite useful towards your endeavours as well?"
"She too served her purpose." He snapped then snidely continued. "You should be proud Dumbledore, that Hagrid is making such a fine job of her care. Allowing her to wander the forests as she wishes and do it barefoot." His tone curled venomously, curious to what Dumbledore would rebuke him with, or if he would at all. He said nothing for a moment the day becoming shades of purple, Dumbledore once again seemed to be admiring the sky and sweet air before he spoke.
"Can you claim to be a much better guardian Severus?" His pallid cheek twitched and he said nothing. "No I did not think so.." He murmured anger igniting in Severus at the accusation that he was no better than Hagrid.
"She's impudent! Ungrateful, Selfish-" He snarled fuming before Dumbledore cut him off with a quiet word.
"alone.." Severus stilled Dumbledore's hand brushing down his silvery white beard. "and in your care now because of the regretful choices you've made."
"Have I not repented? Have I not suffered? not lost enough?" Severus demanded his brows pinched and his arms suddenly beginning to tremble with the violent cold fire of rage beginning create a cold sweat on his body. Dumbledore's eyes connected to his firmly, blue and fathomless as he answered.
"No, Severus not nearly enough." At his words Severus became livid, his sullen cheeks draining of the little blood that coloured them. Dumbledore let him leave wordlessly enraged, his bright blue eyes wandering the sky as the stars began to blink. Quite alone Dumbledore continued quietly. "Perhaps, you'll have suffered enough when you no longer force others to suffer as you have..."
.
AN- Good chapter? I should hope since I haven't updated in like... what a year? Its felt like its been a year. I'm such a dick, I wish I had more discipline when it comes to my writing. Sorry, not sure when the next chapter will appear, but do enjoy!
.
.