It was the day he admitted it to himself: He was in love. Not a day went by where he didn't think of John Locke. He'd make up excuses to see him and had to force himself to survive a day or two without him – he didn't want to seem desperate or pushy. And most of all he didn't want to get too entangled in the idea of a possible romance. Too grave was the risk of being rejected.

But once he said it to himself, once the words "I love" danced on his lips he couldn't stop the avalanche of what was to come. No, he wouldn't dare to say it to him just yet, maybe never. He had to be sure, completely and undoubtedly sure, that John was feeling the same.

The lovesick high that Ben had been riding on for the first half of the day catapulted him down a rabbit hole full of heartache with full force. He could just feel the despair burning up inside of him out of nothing. One moment he was swimming in sentimentality about that first day in John's bedroom, how childish they were, giggling until their bellies hurt, drinking too much wine. The next moment his eyes were filled with tears for he convinced himself that John could never possibly reciprocate his feelings.

When he heard the sound of Alex's keys rattle against the door he wiped the tears from his cheeks and checked his face in the microwave door before putting his glasses back on.

"Dad?"

"I'm in the kitchen," he called. "You're home early. Weren't you supposed to babysit Aaron after school?"

His daughter appeared in the door frame and played with the keys in her hand. "Yes. But he got sick so Claire decided to stay home tonight and take care of him."

"Oh, no. Will he be okay?" Ben opened the fridge, trying to seem busy, anything to distract from his red eyes. He didn't want his daughter to see him like this.

"Sure," she said and took a step towards her father. "What about you though?"

He looked up and put on a fake smile. "What about me?"

"Something's off, dad. You're not a good liar."

He didn't respond. What could he have told her? Even if she understood, he didn't want to burden her with his problems. But she kept insisting.

"You know you can tell me, right?" she said sounding more worried than before. "I'm not a child anymore. Is the cancer back?"

"No." He took a breath and cleared his throat so his voice wouldn't break. "No, I'm not sick. It's nothing important. It's just-" he paused, not sure if he really wanted to say it out loud for he feared that would make him cry again. "It's just heartache."

The concern in her face was replaced by sympathy as she picked a spoon from the drawer and a pot of ice cream from the freezer in what seemed like one smooth movement. "Sit. Eat!" she said and handed him the spoon.

He scoffed. "You know that really is a huge cliché."

"I know, but it also helps."

He stared at the ice cream in doubt for a moment but then he sat down at the kitchen table and followed his daughter's advice.

"It's Mr. Locke, isn't it?" Alex said.

He let the spoon fall back down into the ice cream pot. "How do you know?"

"It's just the way you change when he's around. I've never seen you so-" she sighed in search of a fitting word, "-so happy. You are always a bit nervous around him and your eyes get that little sparkle. It's quite obvious actually."

"Do you think he knows?"

"I'm not sure. He only knows you that way so he might not notice the difference."

Ben was silent. He stuffed a huge spoonful of vanilla ice cream in his mouth, hoping it would heal the embarrassment he felt.

"Will you tell him?"

"God, no!" Ben replied.

"I think he likes you. You should give it a try!"

"You think?"

"He said some very nice things about you. And he built you a bunny hutch, no wait, an actual bunny palace out there! I don't think he did this because he likes Jacob that much. Just ask him over for dinner and see where it's going. If he doesn't show any flirty signs you can always brush it off as two neighbours having dinner together – nothing more."

Ben nibbled on the spoon and contemplated his daughter's advice. No matter how anxious the idea of inviting John over made him feel, it did make sense what she was saying.

"You know," he said, "I should be the one giving relationship advice to you. Not the other way round."

"In case you haven't noticed yet, we're weird."