It was another sunny day and Ben felt lonely as ever. When he saw his neighbours in their gardens enjoying the weather it always reminded him of how alone he was. Alex was not home either and the only company Ben had wasn't even human. He took his bunny out of his hutch in the living room and decided to let him spend some time in the garden. And Ben found it calming to observe Jacob who always seemed to be in his element as soon as his tiny paws touched the grass.

When he put Jacob down inside his outdoor hutch he could hear the phone in the kitchen ring. Quickly Ben ran inside to pick it up – it was only another phone survey that he immediately hung up on. It couldn't have been more than two minutes that he left Jacob out of his sight but when he came back into the garden the bunny was gone. He had left the hatch open and Jacob must have hopped out of it.

"Jacob?" he shouted. On his knees he examined the hedge, looked at every corner of his garden but there was no sign of the fugitive rabbit.

He was close to panicking when John was suddenly standing in front of him. "Ben? Are you okay? What's going on?"

"Jacob is gone. I-" he couldn't hold back the tears any longer. His bunny was in danger just because he wasn't careful enough for a moment. "I looked everywhere. What if something happens to him?"

"Okay. Calm down," John said. "I'll help you, okay? We'll find him. You look through your garden again and I'll ask the neighbours if they have seen him. Okay?"

Ben was so shocked that he couldn't respond.

"Ben!" John held him tightly by his shoulders. "It'll be fine."

"Okay. Yes. The garden. I'll check the garden," Ben said with a shaking voice, taking a deep breath before leaving John's comforting touch.

After half an hour John came back from his round through the neighbourhood and sat down on the front porch next to Ben who was crying silently.

"No one has seen him," John said. "But I told them all to call you in case he appears somewhere."

Ben nodded slowly. "It's all my fault."

"No. Ben, that could have happened to anybody."

"What if he got run over? Or attacked by another animal? If something happens to Jacob I will never forgive myself." His voice broke and the last words were hardly audible. He buried his face in his hands and could feel John's warm hand between his shoulder blades, gently caressing him, offering comfort. Comfort from the person Ben needed so much but couldn't have. He had never felt so complete yet torn apart at the same time. A part of him hated to be this vulnerable in front of John but there was another stronger part of him that wanted to absorb even the slightest form of affection. He leaned his head against John's chest and cried loudly, he had to let it all out – not just the pain over losing Jacob but all the sadness he had piled up in the back of his mind. And in the safety of John's arms he felt like he had permission to let go of it all.

"It'll be okay," John whispered. "You'll be okay."

As Ben's sobbing slowly ebbed away the barking of a dog across the street was gradually becoming louder until it eventually caught John's attention. He let go of Ben and stood up to see what was going on.

"Oh hell," John said before he ran across the street, leaving a startled Ben behind.

"No. Vincent. Don't. Vincent! Leave him alone!" John yelled.

Ben could see how John jumped over the Dawson's fence and gestured the Labrador to stay back, like a lion tamer. With a cautious move he leaned forward and the next thing Ben saw was his bunny safe and unharmed on John's arm.

A huge smile full of relief played on Ben's face as he took Jacob and cuddled him gently. "Don't you ever hop away again. I thought I'd lost you forever," he said, then raised his head to look at John. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

"I honestly think I would've gone crazy without you," Ben said as he put Jacob in his hutch and double-checked that it was properly closed. "Actually I still went crazy even with your help."

John sighed and sat down on the sofa. "I'm glad I could help. To be honest, I was surprised you even let me."

"What do you mean?"

"I had the feeling you were avoiding me the past few weeks."

Ben sat down on the sofa as well but not too close to John. There was still a world between them that Ben thought he'd never be able to conquer. Did he try to avoid John? Of course he had. It hurt him too much to see him, to act as if nothing had happened and pretend to just be friends. He had tried it for a few days after their failed dinner date but it would only leave him in pain. He figured he should get used to a life without John because he had lost all hope there'd ever be a life together.

"I missed you," John added. His voice sounded softer now and less reproachful than before.

Before Ben even had a chance to reply he found himself startled by John's lips that were suddenly pressed against his. He was paralysed for a moment before he warmed up to the kiss and closed his eyes to fully grasp the sensation.

John moved closer. His fingers found their way from Ben's arm to his shoulders, leaving behind a trail of gooseflesh that made the hair on Ben's arms stand up. With his thumb John traced the line of Ben's collar bone through his cotton shirt. Then he laid his hand in Ben's neck and pulled him even closer.

Ben hummed appreciatively and parted his lips wide enough to allow John's tongue to get a taste of his. The more passionate the kiss became the more Ben enjoyed it but he couldn't help but break their bond again before he'd lose control over himself completely. He just had to know. He couldn't risk misinterpreting John's affections because he knew it would break his heart for good if he was being played with.

"How come this sudden change of heart?" he asked. "I thought you didn't like me that way."

John smiled. "I never said that. I like you exactly in that way and in so many other ways, too. I just needed some time for myself. But if you want us to slow down, that's fine."

A load was taken off Ben's mind, as if a thousand stones had been lifted from his chest, when he heard John's answer and looked into his honest eyes. "No, I don't want to slow down." He gifted John with a soft kiss on the lips before he let himself be guided by his desire to feel more of the other man. Ben pulled at the front of John's shirt and at the same time let himself fall back on the sofa so John could lay down on top of him.

The last time Ben had been this close to someone was so long ago that he was afraid he had unlearned how to touch and how to seduce. But John seemed nervous, too. Giggling and blushing like a teenager. Knowing he wasn't alone in his insecurity calmed Ben a little. He had nothing to worry about and hoped that either John would show him what to do or that they'd find out together.

"Have you done this before?" Ben asked. "With a man, I mean?"

"It's been a while, but yes. And you?" John murmured as he kissed Ben's neck and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"No," Ben whispered. "But I've seen some movies," he added, feeling like he needed to validate his wish to be intimate with John and immediately regretting he had said that.

John laughed as he opened the last button of Ben's shirt. "Well, I hope you know that real sex is nothing like porn."

Ben nodded. "I like to think reality's better."

"Do you want to find out?"

John's voice was so different from how it usually sounded. The kindness was still there but subtler. It was overrun by a stronger emotion, a need so heavy it had the power to change the way he talked. Mellower. Sweeter. Sexier. That alone was arousing enough for Ben to lose his mind but the weight of John's body, the scent of his skin, the increasing friction of John's erection against his own – all of that left no doubt. Did he want to find out?

"God, yes."

Reality turned out to be a lot better even than the best porn Ben had seen. Being with John had been so much gentler than he had thought it would be like. Every touch of his hands, every movement of his body – however fierce and passionate in its intent – had been executed in the most cautious and sensitive way. He never missed an opportunity to reassure himself of Ben's comfort, be it by careful observation of Ben's physical reactions or simply by asking him.

After they both came they lay naked and speechless for a while before taking a warm shower together and snuggling back into bed. They talked until long after midnight. About love, faded crushes, families and dreams. Ben told him everything about how he became Alex's father and John shared a lot about his own childhood. Some tears had to be shed in order to move on, comfort and kisses were shared and eventually they'd both laugh again, dreaming up a future together as if there had never been another path in life than the one they would walk together from now on.

However new and unknown this was for Ben, it felt natural and right and made him forget all the nights he had lain awake agonising over unrequited love. Now he could sleep in the arms of his lover, their bodies entangled in one another, impossible to unwind and never to be separated again.